My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Find out all about large family cars, holidays and more right here.

Larger families

Small age gaps.. talk to Me!

34 replies

kmammamalto · 12/01/2020 21:45

So I have a 3yo, and a 12 week old and I'm eyeing up baby number three. I thought I was done at one, got pregnant unexpectedly and it's been literally wonderful, and now both DH and I think one more would make us a complete little family. But I would like to get it done sooner rather than later as I'm not getting any younger and just want to get all the baby stuff over and done with so as not to impact the oldest too much and other reasons too!
So, someone talk me out of starting to try like now! What's awful about it? What about my body and the birth ext? I'm ebf so what's that like being preggers?
Fwiw I had a v quick home birth with #2, no pain relief, no tears or stitches and no hospital stay. So may be I'm in a false sense of security...

OP posts:
Report
boatyIII · 15/01/2020 21:44

13.5m gap here. I have a 2yr old and an 11 month old. I wouldn't actively choose to have such a small gap. It's HARD.

Report
kmammamalto · 17/01/2020 11:07

@paulhollywood that is very sound advice thank you! I'm lucky that both pregnancies were straight forward and last birth was truely lovely, always the worry I might not get so lucky a 3rd time!
@mammy that's kind of what I think a smaller gap is easier as they're at similar stages, but I worry about the eldest being left out and the middle child being ignored! Would you mind me asking where you're from? If you're from where your username suggests then it might make sense to mention we are thinking of moving back to DH home country before eldest starts school and it is much more common there to have larger families and small gaps.

OP posts:
Report
Littlemadd · 24/01/2020 19:33

To be honest I had a 4YO, 2YO, 5 month old and just discovered I was pregnant!

I was completely terrified but honestly I didn't notice him when he came he just seem to fit right in!.

What doesn't feel right for others may feel right for you it's all about your preference. Routine is key for my family and it works for us.

Today we have 7YO, 5YO, 3YO and 2YO and we're ttc for baby number 5 Smile

Report
Pebstk · 25/01/2020 11:50

I have six kids and current pregnant with number 7 - they are now 17, 14, 13, 11, 9 and 3. I have only 16 months between numbers 2 and 3 and I can honestly say it was worst experience of my children being young. My eldest son was 3 coming 4. We were only really get to used to being family and it’s 2 children and third arrived. It was as others have said two babies - and my daughter who was 16 min TB a was great - gentle and quite advanced talking etc - but I feel they both missed outa little. It was just so tough. I had a six year gap between 5 and 6 and last 3 and half years years with him have been a joy (well he has - oldest teenager not so much) - we appreciated him as a baby, the other kids are so good with him. I am really nervous now about having another and how it will impact on him (he’s four in June) but he can amuse himself, goes to nursery, uses toilet (though quite a few accidents but now improving) and I feel it will be manageable plus my older children are able to be helpful playing with him and will undoubtedly enjoy nursing baby etc - they can for example keep an eye on baby for couple of minutes while you shower etc. I would enjoy your little one and wait

Report
Kezmum14 · 26/01/2020 14:29

My youngest are 12 months apart, purposefully done for the same reasons as yourself. I tandem fed them for 2 years. It was hard work and I did question why I thought it was a good idea but to see how close the boys is adorable. We are 5/4 years in and it’s so much easier. They okay so well together and look out for each other at school.
I’m currently pregnant with my 5th after deciding about a year ago that we may not have completed our family after all. 🤣 this will definitely be our last due to my body and previous c sections I’ve chosen to be sterilised. Although we haven’t ruled out adoption. :)

Report
laidbackllama · 26/01/2020 15:01

My youngest 2 are only 17 months apart and they are now 3 and 2. The most challenging time for me has been when they are poorly. They catch whatever each other has got and it can be tough when they're both poorly together. But other than that it's great because they are so close and enjoy doing everything together. They don't argue and they get along very well x

Report
Mum2Girls19 · 01/03/2020 09:49

I lived exactly how your living not so long ago, I had a 3 year old and a newborn and then the day I went to get birth control found out i was pregnant again when the youngest was only 6 weeks.
Fast forward I now have an 11, 8, 9 and 5 year old and the middle two have been brought up like twins, it was the best thing ever and I would recommend it over a large age gap.
Again do whats right for you and your family xxx

Report
Yesterdayforgotten · 09/03/2020 17:09

I have 2 dc; 2 years 8/9 month age gap. I am finding the gap works well and I'm pleased it isn't any smaller. Dc1 is potty trained and will help by putting nappies in bin and understands alot more now and isnt as demanding as once was. In one respect I would have liked them close together to get the baby years out of the way as it is hard going back there but I know I could not have managed and it is better this way. I feel I would love a third dc and had similar thoughts to yourself op but I have too many reason for not having anymore. It's tough though and I dont know when the biological urge goes!!

Report
kikibo · 10/03/2020 12:46

I've got three. 2.5, 15 months and 7 weeks. DD1, my eldest didn't walk, crawl or cruise when DS was born. She only did at 2 and 1.5 months due to being massive with low muscle tone. DS in cruising now.

I would have waited about a year to TTC DD2 to allow my body some recovery time, if only my midwife hadn't announced she was retiring on 1 April next and her MLU was closing with her.
I decided I'd get it over and done with, especially since I'm 37 and DH 46.

I do have easy babies, though, but with some organising, things do tend to work out.

It's pretty full on, especially since I work freelance too (yes, now too), but it's fine. Though you do need to multitask a lot and think ahead. Like reading books while feeding LO or making sure overly affectionate toddlers can't smother little brothers while you're stuck feeding LO.

And I bottle feed and work with cloth nappies too.

You do need to be able to function properly on some 6 hours sleep max, though.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.