Talk to me about the reality of 3 kids over 2...

[lucieloos]

Obviously I'm sure everyone who has 3 kids loves them to bits and doesn't regret having them but how easy is it going from 2 to 3? I've heard some say it's fine and going from 1 to 2 is harder and others say they were really shocked at how difficult it was going from 2 to 3 and how their lives would have been infinitely easier having stuck to just 2. Things such as looking after 3 on your own being really hard compared to 2.

I'm not worried about things such a needing a bigger car or holidays etc as they can be overcome. I'm also worried about sharing time between 3 children is there enough to go around.

They outnumber you. Even when your partner is home.

I barely noticed. The holiday thing was the only difference.
Now they are older they seem to have more fun than 2 children do. They laugh a lot. 3 is good.

3 has been great for us. Holidays haven't been a problem as we tend to organised things ourselves so air bnb, easyjet flights etc. Depending on age gaps giving them all their own time has been manageable due to bedtimes and nap times and different activities etc.

I've found the increased washing noticeable though, and I have to be organised with things like slips for school etc as it's easier to get in a muddle.

Would not want to be without them though. I love being part of a gang and seeing the different relationship dynamics develop is one of my greatest joys.

I found 2-3 easier than 1-2. She just slotted straight into family life and was the easiest and most chilled baby by far.

No doubt sticking at two would be infinitely easier. I don’t seem to have made many life decisions based on what would be easiest I really enjoy having three and can’t imagine not having DS.... A third just adds another layer of complexity to everything - three sets of needs instead of just two. It’s doable but a different league from two in terms of juggling. If you’ve got a lot of help from family that would make a big difference. We haven’t, but it’s doable...

I'm in the 1-2 was harder camp; my number 3 just slotted in and the older two are great with her. Taking 3 out on my own does feel like herding cats sometimes, but they're a lot of fun!

Oh god but the laundry! Genuinely, it's the laundry that stops me from having number 4. So. Much. Washing. And my number 3 isn't even a sicky baby.

Number 3 was much wanted and just slotted in. I must admit though, that a day when nobody cried, including me, was counted as a major win in the first few weeks.

Three slotted straight in. So much so by the time he was 14 weeks old I was pregnant with number four.
That was a whole different ball game.

1-2 was a doddle for me. 2-3 nearly killed me!

I commented on another thread about this but think 3 is ok if you arent likely to feel guilty about not being able to spread yourself between them. It is impossible in my opinion. Two you have a shot at giving them individual time. It also depends on the age gap youd have.

My DC are now 10 & 7. I was desperate for a third for a long time but am now glad it never happened. I feel as though I am constantly chasing my tail but am just about on top of work, house & the DC. A third would have destroyed that and something would have had to give - either my job or my sanity. I also like the fact that it is relatively easy to find activities or days out that both enjoy (2.5yr age gap), groups of friends to get on with etc. When we meet up with friends with three, one always seem to be tagging along or left out.

This is all reassuring
Really want a third for Our family

Had a few weeks of shit from the first born son and for the first time ever questioning my parenting skills in general never mind my dream of three children

I found 1-2 a breeze, 2-3 a bit of a nightmare. Interestingly, we had #4 a year later, and that was so much easier than 3 as I had to be more organized and less just running with it.

My DD has 3 children all quite close in age and it's very hard work when I look after 3 at the same time. 2 seems so much easier. Also with 3 the chances are that at one time at least 1 will be ill, grumpy, tamtrumming, going through a difficult stage etc. Having said that my youngest GC is an absolute delight and a blessing and I can't imagine life without them and when all three are in a good mood it is wonderful!

I found 1 so easy it was laughable
1-2 was hell, I adore them but I'm constantly exhausted
I'd love a third but genuinely unsure which way it'd fall

Thanks for all these replies. I really don't know what to do. One day I think 3 is a good idea and then the next day not. There's so many mixed responses too. Some think it's great and other not.

@Nonnymum your post really struck a chord with me as at some point in the future I might be reliant on my parents to look after them do a day or two a week in school holidays or whatever and they aren't getting any younger.

Yes. They laugh a lot.

Having 3 somehow gave it all a better balance in our house, before the first 2 were at each others’ throats most of the time, now they’re getting on much better. They’re 10, 7 and 4 now. But it depends a lot on age gaps, kids personalities and your individual situation as well. The being outnumbered thing never scared me for example as my husband is only home at weekends so I was already outnumbered with 2. They’re a little gang now, love it!

I LOVE having 3. They all get on great, and after having two i was pretty much an expert. Well used to having more than one child to organise so it was like second nature to me.

Family tickets these days to events or parks etc tend to be 2 adults 3 kids rather than the 2 and 2 they used to be.

3 is fine , easy even

Biggest jump is from 1 to 2 after that they just fit in !

lucieloos it's not often I look after all 3 at the same time now only occasionally in the holidays and sometimes for a short time after school. And honestly they are a delight and I wouldn't want it any other way just sometimes hard work! .

I found 1-2 easy. 2-3 was hard. But my third was is an extremely difficult child.
If they're good and slot right in then great. If not, then it's difficult. So you'll get different views depending on this.
2 children would be a walk in the park to me now.

We found going from 2-3 easier than going from 1-2. Number 3 slotted straight in, she looks up to the older two and they love fussing over her. They all entertain each other and the older two help out in their own ways. I am now pregnant with baby number 4 😊

2-3 easier than 1-2 and 3-4 was barely noticeable in terms of workload. 2-3 was also my smallest age gap (20 months) so at least the middle one still slept during the day and we had the routine of preschool runs for the eldest. DC3 was a super easy baby though...

They are fab together, they have each other’s backs and although they bicker and squabble - seeing the den they’ve built this holiday and hearing the chats about school and presents and books they’ve read, baking they’ve done, it’s so lovely. They really are their own gang. Expensive mind...