Tell me all the good things about having a 3rd

[CupCupGoose]

I've name changed.

I'll start with the background. I'm 29 this year, married 3 years but together 10. We have two dc 6 and almost 8. I'm pregnant with our 3rd. I developed pcos after my second baby and even though we tried for a 3rd baby, in 3 years I didn't get pregnant. We decided 2 was enough and although I was sad I wouldn't get my 3rd, I came terms with that decision.

We had unprotected sex once and guess what... Pregnant. Of course I know it happens and it was 100% our stupid mistake but I just can't believe it happened after all of those years of nothing due to pcos.

I'm terrified. I'm 14 weeks now and I just can't stop thinking about all the negatives. My DC are becoming independent now and as we had them so young, at 40, I would have had a 20 and 18 year old. I'm not unhappy about this baby. I'm looking forward to it, but I'm just so scared. I never felt like this with my other two.

Can everyone share their stories of how their 3rd was the best thing for their family please?

@CupCupGoose how have you been feeling recently?

Anyone with a two year gap and then a four year gap? DH not keen on the idea of 4 years, thinks it is too big but we are now past 3.5 yr gap and still no BFP 😓

The two eldest will likely dote on the youngest, they can help entertain the baby when you're tired. Cheap babysitters in a few years...

Following with interest!
I have a much smaller gap between DCs than the OP....but I’m “surprise” pregnant with number 3, when we were pretty sure we were done after DC2!
There will be 4years between DC1 & DC3, and just under 3years between DC2 & DC3

Not good @Ivra. I'm supposed to be at a midwife appointment right now but I couldn't face going. I really don't think I want this baby. I don't know what to do.

@CupCupGoose my heart breaks for you. What a heartbreaking position for you to be in. I can't help but feel the same about my situation to. I just can't get my head around any of it and my husband still is not keen.

I'm sorry you're feeling similarly. Mine still isn't keen too. We just don't talk about it. I feel like I can't tell him how I feel as one of us needs to be positive. I don't know what the answer is. How far along are you now?

9 and a half weeks now. We are the same, we don't talk about it. I have been so ill with morning sickness but I feel as though I can't tell him how I feel as he isn't interested and doesn't want any of this anyway. This is honestly the hardest position I've ever been in. To be honest even though I'm having all the symptoms it doesn't feel real as it's like I'm just not letting myself acknowledge the situation. I just feel awful as I know we are so lucky to be able to fall pregnant it's just not what we expected at all.

How far along are you now?

I honestly feel the same. I've got HG so I'm still being sick daily at 17 weeks. I don't think feeling ill constantly is helping. I'm starting to get a bump now and can't deny it anymore. I can't talk to DH as, like yours, doesn't want this anyway. And I can't talk to anyone else as they are all so excited. So I have to pretend I am too.

@CupCupGoose this must be so hard for you. How are your children feeling about it? I still haven't told anyone about it. Do you regret going through with the pregnancy now?

The kids are excited. I did tell people after my 12 week scan as I thought I'd just get over it and everyone else's excitement would make me excited too. And it did a bit. But now I feel like I've made a huge mistake even though I know I could never go through with an abortion.

I worried so much before number 3 - we had to move as our previous house was already a squash with two. My first two were born 20 months apart and were a real handful, particularly as I worked FT for much of that time, and I worried how I'd manage with number 3 with an 8 year gap. But number 3, as pp said was an absolute joy and brought the family so much closer together, still does. They are still all great friends now and 1 and 2 would do anything for 3. Income wise we had to make adjustments. I had no relatives to help out with the odd bit of childcare, but we managed and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I have three DC -10, 7 and 15 months so six years between numbers 2 and 3. She was planned but still came as a bit of a shock as it took about 18 months to conceive number 2 and we said we’d give it 6 months to try for a third due to my age (40 was my cut-off!) Anyway we conceived on the sixth month just when I’d resigned myself to it not happening!

Early on in my pregnancy I had my doubts over whether we were doing the right thing...I worried about finances, we needed a bigger house and I was worried about the big age gap but as my pregnancy went on it became more about excitement.

My children were really excited and have been absolutely wonderful with her since the day she was born. My son was almost 10 when she was born so I wasn’t sure how interested he would be but he adores her and looks after her like a mini Dad. My older daughter was a bit clumsier with her at first and can be a bit OTT but they adore each other and the biggest smiles and loudest giggles are always for her. And I have surprised myself by how much I have loved going through the baby stage again...after such a big gap it feels like I am more like a first-time Mum who has the benefit of knowing what she’s doing rather than a third-time Mum. And she has fitted into our family beautifully...an absolute joy.

Unfortunately, my husband did a complete u-turn on wanting another baby ad had a crisis. His mates all told him we were “mad for having another one” and the twat ended up believing them. He behaved like a total bellend throughout my pregnancy and for most of the first year of her life...he was totally disinterested and turned his back on me and our family. I was like a single Mum. It almost tore our family apart and we ended up in counselling. I’m amazed we’re still together but now he too has totally fallen in love with our baby...it took longer for him to adapt and I’m still struggling to forgive him for that but we’re trying to move forward. Talk to your husband. You need his support and to be on board with this. My husband caused so much damage to us and was a grey cloud over DD2’s babyhood and I still harbour a lot bitterness and resentment for that.

@CupCupGoose how are you feeling about things now? I've started telling family, but it just doesn't feel real! Husband still isn't keen on talking about it which makes it all so much harder!

@Ivra sorry I've only just seen this. How did your family react? You must be 11/12 weeks now? How are you feeling? I found out I'm having a boy. Ive started feeling kicks which makes it all feel more real but not necessarily better if you know what I mean. I still haven't bought anything. I don't want to buy anything. Yesterday I would have said things are getting better but today I've had a really bad day and I feel so overwhelmed. I canceled my whooping cough vaccine because I just don't even care. I know that makes me an awful person. How are things with you? Sorry to be such a moaner! Believe it or not I'm actually trying to be positive!

I found out I was pregnant 3 1/2 years after my second. I was not in a good place , close young relative had just died, I thought about abortion. Husband was aghast and wanted to keep.
I am so glad I did, it's not all plain sailing, kids bicker, hubby grumpy, both work full time. Youngest now 10, do not regret it at all.
Good luck ,I found it easier knowing hubby was positive even though I wasn't so if you can stay positive it might help your husband accept it as well. Sending good wish vibes.

@CupCupGoose I'm 13 and a half weeks now, I've got a scan on Thursday and I really don't know how to feel about, I only told my grandparents who I'm closest to and they seemed excited, but I don't know if they were putting that on to try and make me a bit more positive on the situation.

When I read what you have wrote it's like I have wrote it, it's exactly as I feel, part of me still feels like none of it is real and I put my head in the sand.

I still haven't told my children, I was thinking I may do after the scan. My husband is coming around to the idea more now I think, I think he has realised he has no choice.

I just never thought I'd ever feel like this about being pregnant.

I'm so worried about how it will effect our little family set up, I don't ever remember being like this when I was pregnant with my second.

How far gone are you now? Do you feel like your pregnancy is going fast? Are the children still excited and how is your husband feeling about it all now?