A general, friendly, supportive larger family chit-chat thread, anyone?

[Misfitless]

Does anyone on here fancy striking up a general thread, like the one that they have in the one-child families topic?

Preferably not with imaginary cakes and wine and butlers and virtual massages, etc though?

No need to post everyday unless you want to, just a chance to get to share the ups and downs with each other, as and when?

Ok here's my questions:

1. Was it always a plan for you to have a big family?

2. If you had all your children biologically, were all pregnancies relatively good? (No health issues etc)?

3. Are you addicted to chaos?

Ooh can I join in? I've got 4dc 9,4,17months and 4 months.

1. Yes it was always the plan to have four but not the plan to have dc3 and 4 quite so close together (13 months apart) but to fair we weren't really doing anything to stop it happening. I have 3 at home with me and I'm not going to lie it's bloomin hard work at the mo but dd2 will start school (sob) in sep and ds1 will start nursery 3 mornings a week so things will be a bit easier.

1. Mixed bag I had gd in one, and spd in another other than that straight forward.

1. I'm a bit of a control freak so at the moment it's not too chaotic but I'm sure things will change :)

Joins in, i have 5, four boys, one girl and just found out i am expecting no 6! Eeek! All being well it will be due 1st nov. Fingers crossed. My youngest is 4, the others are 6, 10, 12 and 15. Am assuming one more wont make any difference to the craziness!

We planned four then decided to have one more, number 6 is a bonus! Yes its crazy. I have had very easy pregnancies and births so hoping this one is the same.

Hi all newcomers .

1. We always wanted 4.

1. All good pregnancies looking back, was exhausted but in good health, with no complications.

1. I'm not good with chaos, tbh, it makes me a bit anxious, but I'm also not naturally an organised person.

How many are you hoping to have, FatSwan?

Five- sorry about your dog passing away. Hope you are all ok.

I laughed at the poster who mentioned buying door handles in bulk.

I have four children. 3 girls then a boy (seems quite popular on here!) They are 12.9.7 and 4. Totally get the pre teen thing from 2 of them! Horrific and funny in equal measures.

Misfits - thanks for starting this thread. It is an excellent idea.

1. Yes we are planning a big family, we would like as many as we are blessed to have.
2. So far all pregnancy have been fine.
3. Don't think I am qualified enough to answer this one yet, only have 3 so far,

Id love to pls - 5 gorgeous kids, aged 7 to 16. Love them dearly and trying to rebuild our life after making ridiculous decision to move in with dp who is 15 years older and also has 3 young children. Definitely tough times ahead for us all

Can I join?
Another one with 5 but considering number 6 at some point in the future. I have DS aged 18 then 4 dd aged 16, 11, 4 and 3.
Never really planned to have 5, they just kind of happened!
I always thought I'd have 4. It never occurred to me I'd ever be considering a sixth. I am addicted to chaos and I love my noisy house.
My pregnancies have been ok but the last 2 babies were less than a year apart and it knackered my pelvis a bit. I was on crutches with SPD. That aside, all natural births and everything was great post birth so I'm not complaining!

Interesting replies, even more fascinated

I always dreamed of a big family, 3 being the minimum number of children. We have one DD and she's an amazing child. Truly a dream come true for us.

But I had a terrible pregnancy (sickness, high blood pressure, antenatal depression) awful labour experience, and PND thereafter. My husband, quite rightly, is afraid to have more because the first year and a bit was utter hell.

We've finally got a house we love, Dh's job is great, and DD is flourishing as a happy, bright girl. I feel like we can keep building our family and have a better life, but tbh I'm scared, too...

Sorry to derail the thread.

Another question, not meant to offend:

How enormous are your vehicles? Are you all driving vans?

MadThings! What?! Congratulations!

I'm only on my 3rd (due June 2nd) but I'd quite like five so I'm lurking. :)

Do any of you have a large gap and then a lot at once? DS is seven, will be eight in July. DD turns 2 in May and then #3 will be born. I'd like more but probably fairly quickly (I'll be 33 this spring.) But it feels odd to me to have DS, a six year age gap, and then BAM, three or four little ones. Does that make sense? Of course there's nothing to be done about it, it just feels strange. :) He was a surprise, and it took almost six years for me to convince DH to have more. Now he wants a lot, though. But I'm also struggling with not putting DS in a "helper" role more than I should, and with ways to help him not feel less important now that I'll have a baby and a toddler who need me.

Hours, I'm so sorry about your dog. We just lost our old boy in December and it was devastating.

Swan fwiw I had awful PND with DS and was terrified about the same with DD...and I was just fine. Mentally in a great place the whole time. :)

Thanks Cheerful, and congrats on #3!

How did your DH come around to the idea of more, if you don't mind my asking? Whenever I bring it up to my husband I swear his penis tucks in like a turtle.

That image made me laugh! I remember those days.

It's probably not hugely helpful, but with my DH he became much more religious. :o He always was nominally Catholic but has done a lot of reading and soul searching and become more so in recent years. He says now he regards children as a blessing and our family as the best thing he has going for him, etc.

I think part of it, though, was that he just grew up. He is the youngest of four and was quite babied his whole life. We got married when I was 24 and he was 27 and then found out I was pregnant less than a month later. It was a huge shock and changed everything about our lives...where we lived, what he did for work, etc. And then my depression on top of it. We had a rough time but have been in a much better place the last few years.

DD was planned but this baby was not. Still very welcome, though. :) I'm happy.to leave it up to fate at this point but I think four or five will be my limit.

I'm sort of taking it one at a time, though. If this baby is a dream, another would maybe be nice. It he (we do know he is a boy :)) is extremely high needs, maybe we'll stop at three.

Hi can I join you?

I have 4 dc 11, 9 (boys), 6 and 2 (girls).

Feel like I have best of both worlds when dc at school as then its just me and 1 2yr old, not so much chaos!

Five sorry to hear about your dog

Congratulations to the pregnant ladies on this thread.

Fatswan to answer your questions

1 we wanted 3 and stopped at 3, dd2 was a huge shock but I wouldn't change her.

2 ds1 and dd2 were both hg pregnancies and dd1 I kept getting stomach bugs that landed me in hospital. I do not do pregnancy well!

3 sometimes enjoy the chaos but other times I feel totally overwhelmed by them all..and the mess!!

I drive a focus and dp rides a motorbike. He works long hours so its not often we all go out together.

I was happy to stop at 3 but we had three girls and DH wanted to try once more. I was happy to have 4 girls and was actually quite upset when we found our 4th was going to be a boy, but it's all good now and tbh there is less difference between the sexes than I was lead to believe!
4's enough though, it wasn't so bad when they were little but now they all have activities and social engagements.
Also we only have 4 bedrooms in the house which means the 7 and 9 year old are sharing, which is not going to be great for much longer.
Has everyone else got really big houses with lots of bedrooms then?

1. Not the plan at all , had 2 Dds but didn't feel finished but divorce limited me so when I met dh we had dd3 and wanted her not to be an only (due to large age gap) but question 2 put me off. Got pregnant accidentally anyway and had ds.

1. Last 2 pregnancy a had severe SPD. Last one in a wheelchair and still use crutches now.

1. Chaos! I am constantly trying to bring some order into it but it's v limited. Meal planning, calendars are working and storage not so much!

Cars- we have an 8 seater van

Houses-3 bed house!

Fivehourssleep I'm sorry about your dog.

I have three boys and a girl.
Ages range from 10.5 to (just) 15.
I was only trying to have three: the last pregnancy was twins.

I am very glad that half-term is over.

In eight days, we will be finding out where the younger two are going to secondary school. Hopefully my youngest son will be going to the same school as his brothers. My daughter and I are very much hoping that she will get a place at the same school as Fivehourssleep 's girls.

Waves to First
I'm sure she will First. As for me, I'll be interested to see what happens with the cross siblings in the Boys' School this year.
We are not sure whether to move closer to the schools or just leave it to fate and resign ourselves to him going to one of the good comprehensives closer to us.

First we are waiting to hear on nexr years school for ds1 too. Seems scary sending them off to a big secondary school He will almost certainly get our f irst choice of good school as we are in catchment.

Can I join too?

I have 3dc aged 7,5 and nearly 2

I would love another But recently became a single parent so that doesn't look likely

I remain in awe of you all. Ood, I can't imagine how difficult it must be to have 4 kids and need crutches. I hope you're doing okay.

Apple I had HG too! Again, can't imagine how hard it must be to deal with that and care for children!

Another question, and apologies if it's nosey:

Is one of you a SAHP for your family?Or do you both work because of your large family? And what about childcare? Do you have any help?

When I was with the dcs dad we both worked and now I'm on my own I still work
I work more
He pitches in with some school runs and youngest dc goes to nursery

Hi, can I join? I currently have 3 DC, dd 8, ds1 6 and ds2 2 but currently undecided on if to go for a 4th so this thread may help me decide!

DH would love another so has left the decision up to me, I always said I wanted 3 and DS2 has definately tested me being a very clingy baby that never slept. But he is now an adorable 2 year old (except for when he has his terrible 2's tantrums) and I'm wondering if I could now do it all again.

I love having children they are amazing and I love them so much but I have now turned 40 so wondering if I'm too old to do sleepless nights etc again?

Pregnancy has been easy for me so no worries on that bit, but we would need to change cars if we had another to a 7 seater. I work part time but luckily term time only during school hours so only need childcare for 1 child. We have a 4 bed house.

Sorry this turned into an essay but wanted to try and include answers to the questions too!!

Ps. Five So sorry to hear about poor dog, one of ours died 18mths ago so know how you feel we now have a puppy as company for our other dog (so in answer to another question I must like chaos but I do like to keep some order)

Re: Car; we don't have a car but DH does have a driver's license, we prefer to walk or take public transport, and we are fortunate enough to both work with in walking distance of our house. On the rare occasion that we do require a car we rent one.

Re: House; we have a 3bed 3story house all 3 are double bedrooms with built-in wardrobes.

Re: Work; we both work not because we have/want a big family but because we want to work. It if rare that we need childcare as we both work on Rota's and it normally works out that DH is working in the morning while I work am working in the afternoon or evening, or that I am working in the morning and DH in the afternoon. So there is usually always one of us at home, but if we are both ever at work at the same time, then the DC go to the MIL' s until we get home as she only lives down the road from us.