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Larger families

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Original poster

A general, friendly, supportive larger family chit-chat thread, anyone?

182 replies

Misfitless · 20/02/2015 10:01

Does anyone on here fancy striking up a general thread, like the one that they have in the one-child families topic?

Preferably not with imaginary cakes and wine and butlers and virtual massages, etc though?

No need to post everyday unless you want to, just a chance to get to share the ups and downs with each other, as and when?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
FatSwan · 22/02/2015 17:53

disney sounds like a great setup! I should have prefaced the work question as realising everyone's interests/needs are different of course.

freshstart- Being a single working parent is hard enough as it is, let alone one with 4 kids! Glad your ex helps out.

Have you just recently separated?

Monkeys-you sound lovely despite the chaos Wink

MamaGelfling · 22/02/2015 18:06

Hi. Can I join too?
I have 4 boys 15, 10, 8 and 1. We have big age gaps and smaller gaps. I only ever wanted 1 then I had a mc whends1 was 5 . Conceived ds2 the following month. We hope to start ttc dc5 later in the year, if baby ever stops breastfeeding ??

afreshstartplease · 22/02/2015 18:09

Separated in the last 6 months

Only have 3dc, would have loved 4

Can't imagine having dc with anyone else

FatSwan · 22/02/2015 18:45

Ah sorry I misread.

Sad I hope that you get your fresh start. My mum was a single mum and it wasn't easy. I really appreciate what she's done for me. Your dc will too Smile

FiveHoursSleep · 22/02/2015 19:11

We will get another dog at some point I think.Our existing dog loves doggy company. We also have two cats, two rats a hamster and a snake.
Car wise we drive an elderly 7 seater Previa, but are going to need something else in the near future.

FiveHoursSleep · 22/02/2015 19:13

Oh and I don't really work. I do a very little bit of part time, self employed work but the cost of childcare would make me working for someone else pointless.

TaperJeanGirl · 22/02/2015 19:40

Can I join in? I have 5, ages 9,7,5,3, and 15 months, 4 girls and a boy, I always knew I wanted a large family and was lucky enough to be able to have one Smile

Oodbrain · 22/02/2015 19:47

Dh works ft and I'm a ft student (with the 1.5 hour commute it means I'm pretty much out 4 full days a week), my mum helps with child care and dh is partly on shifts.

AppleCrumples · 22/02/2015 20:00

Dp works nights and I'm a SAHM since I was made reduntant when ds2 was 1. The plan was to return to part time somewhre when dd1 started school but by then I was 5 months pregnant and essentially living on the bath room floor :(

House is a 3 bed rental. We are bursting at the seams! We make it work though :) I regularly clean out all their toys etc and am pretty hot on making everyone clean up after themselves as the mess can drive me crackers.

I do love the madness though and they are all lovely. The older 3 take care of dd2 and its realy sweet to see. Ds1 in particular is completely wrapped around her little finger Grin

Fatswan I still feel guilty for putting everyone through my last pregnancy. The hg was made worse by the anxiety, which I can normally keep under control but I was so shocked and never quite came to terms with the pregnancy. Dd2s arrival was like someone turning the lights back on!!

5ChildrenAndIt · 22/02/2015 21:30

freshstart - really Sad to hear you've split up with your DP. It takes two to make a baby - and I hope he continues to support you.

Drunkendonut · 22/02/2015 21:36

I work 22 hours a week as a lab assistant but I've just been given the opportunity to do further training which will make me a proper professional scientist rather than a lab rat. Not sure what to do... I worked really hard for my degree and want a career but at the same time I can't shake off the feeling that I'd love baby number 6!
DH works a lot but can be quite flexible and I also have my mum to help out with childcare so there's no reason I can't do both except I don't want to really. I like giving at least 75% to my family when the children are little and having a little outlet in my job but training and working in haematology will need a lot of my time and commitment.
Hmmm.
Anyway, I got my implant taken out about 6 weeks ago and still haven't had an af. Is that unusual? We've been using withdrawal (I know I know) as I wanted a break from hormonal contraception and whilst we decide what to do.
If nothing happens this week I'll do a test but pretty sure I'm not pg.

5ChildrenAndIt · 22/02/2015 21:37

1) Was it always a plan for you to have a big family?
No - I was never the maternal 'type' - and I always imagined one DC maybe later in life. But each of the DC was intentionally conceived - so I've got drawn in as time has gone on.

2) If you had all your children biologically, were all pregnancies relatively good? (No health issues etc)?
I'm not a good pregnant person - get very very sick - SPD/PiH/PPH. But never yet (thank God) had a life-threatening scare for me or bump - which I think would put me off.

3) Are you addicted to chaos?
It's not chaotic. It is meticulously organised. It is sometimes very noisy - but we hit all our bases (washed/fed/read to/music practice/homework/chores) - so I think 'chaos' is not really fair.

Drunkendonut · 22/02/2015 21:39

Ood I was a ft student with 3 dc, after I had the youngest 2 I went back and did my final year part time over 2 years but wow it was hard work!
How are you finding it?

FatSwan · 22/02/2015 22:04

Apologies 5Children, that is indeed an unfair assumption. I presume you would have to be very organised (something I need to work on).

5ChildrenAndIt · 22/02/2015 22:11

It probably does look chaotic from the outside tbf - Grin .

5ChildrenAndIt · 22/02/2015 22:22

It's a point of pride to me that the DC are very good at pulling together when they need to. Witn the number of kids we have - downtime has the general air of a kids birthday party where the entertainer's given up. However - we can get out of the door in 5 minutes flat - I can trust them to follow instructions - and they protect any sibling that is going through a challenging time (eg exams or illness).

Basically - they themselves don't want to live in a chaotic environment - and they support the systems that mean we can get things done when needs be.

FatSwan · 22/02/2015 23:06

I like that analogy 5Children Smile I myself like to keep DD as busy as possible otherwise we go stir crazy-and I've only got her! That might just be a personality thing.

expectingnumber3 · 23/02/2015 00:57

Can I join too please. I don't knon anyone with more than 2DC's! I have 4, aged 8, 6, 4 and 6 weeks, 2 girls, a boy then another girl.

In answer to your questions FatSwan:

  1. Not really planned but we both love babies so didn't prevent it either iyswim.
  2. Awful pregnancies! I hate every minute! Sickness, bleeding, blood pressure issues, irritable uterus, prem labours. And 3 mc's turned me into a basket case. Worth it all though for my babies.
  3. It's organised chaos. I like to think so anyway!
  4. 7 sweater car.
  5. In a 3 bed. Building an extension though, lots of fun with a new baby!
  6. I'm a SAHM. DH works crazy hours and we both wanted one if us to be at home. Feel very lucky that it's me.
FatSwan · 23/02/2015 03:43

expecting I think you need to update your username! Congrats on #4!

I am also a SAHM as my DH works insane hours in a small business. Though in comparison to all of you, I feel extremely lazy.

Another question-do your DC play well with each other? I'm DD 's only playmate, and some days, it bores me senseless. She's 2, so everything is dancing or running away. It's -30 here and it can give me cabin fever. I often wonder if having a sibling sooner would have been wise.

5ChildrenAndIt · 23/02/2015 07:08

7 sweater car *expecting^ ? Grin .

Mine normally has 7 sweaters, half a dozen hats an odd shoe.

We moved to a 5 bed townhouse last year - having been in a three bed terrace up to then - and recognising it was starting to become a struggle as DC became older (I.e. wanting separate baths etc). I love the extra space.

I worked until recently - but pg with 5 - and realistically I don't think I'll manage more than a bit of freelancing for the few years ahead. Childcare costs a fortune - but I hope to keep doors ajar.

Oodbrain · 23/02/2015 07:34

drunken ok so far but I'm only a first year! Next year will be tougher with dd1 on GCSEs as well ( she's yr 10 at the moment )

expectingnumber3 · 23/02/2015 09:12

I do indeed need to update my name!

Sweater, doh! Have the wrong kind of fingers for typing on my phone I have discovered. Although 7 sweaters is about right. Mostly school cardigans I expect, can never find any, along with a random sock!

I'm looking forward to more space too 5Children, will be worth the chaos of building. Going to have a playroom! So excited!

FiveHoursSleep · 23/02/2015 09:26

My kids played with each other when they were younger, but the older two (now 11 and 13) can't stand each other. :(
Actually tbh, it's mainly DD1 who says she hates DD2. DD2 has ASD and would happily worship at the feet of her older sister but DD1 is vile to her.
I think part of the problem is that they are only one school year apart.
Apparently it's a real problem if you have same sex siblings 1 school year apart ( or less!) but it's too late to do anything about that now!

5ChildrenAndIt · 23/02/2015 09:56

My same-sex one school year apart siblings are DS1 and DS2 & get on great (particularly if you interpret the occasional outburst of violence as male bonding Wink ).

DD1 and DS1 also get on great - because they are both quite quiet and analytical. DS2 - however - is very outgoing, random and Tiggerish - and I have a real problem with how much that gets on DD1s nerves - and how she will sometimes react totally disproportionately to him Sad .

FiveHoursSleep · 23/02/2015 09:58

Actually, now you've mentioned it, the people I've heard from with the SS, 1 school year apart problem have daughters in this situation.
Maybe it's one of the dreaded 'girl things'?