Calling mothers of 4 or more!!!

[sadsong]

I'd like to know if I'm just being a bit sensitive, or whether its not just me and in fact you all have had similar experiences!

So I had 4dc with eh. My eldest is now 15. Then I met new h, who had his own dc and we decided to have one together. After an mc and a few years later I was delighted. However onlookers were so rude and I think it hasn't helped me bond. I haven't had this experience before. I have one extra child and suddenly I'm a bit of an outcast....I would add it is vastly easier these days than when I had 3 tiny dc under 4 and an h who commuted to the city daily.

The reaction if I mentioned the mc to anyone was, oh well it's natures way of telling you've had your family. And probably for the best dear.

Not mine but some of dhs friends have been quite rude about us having our baby. He's nearly 2 now. They don't need to get their judgey pants on as we earn enough to support them all. We don't claim benefits, we have a big enough house etc.... We have debated having another but I dread what everyone will say. !!!

I'm now showing hugely and looking like I'm 8 months! (Only 26w with 2nd twins). I received a comment at the hospital in passing the other week. I had all 4 dc with me and DH and my twins were having a nursing fit and the woman on the ward said "Oh dear, they don't look happy. Sure you want more?" Meant as a joke. I didn't find it funny only insensitive.

One woman and her snide friend made a comment about how I'm breeding them just for the money and living on their tax payers! I was fuming. I've worked full time since leaving college, I'm married, we both earn a living and provide for our children. I quit my job to focus on my kids and now work from home. So it really pissed me off. I know my age and how DH and I look adds to their "judgement".

Luckily we have a very supportive family and close friends we are happy for us.

My kids aren't a number or a population problem, they individuals with minds of their own, dreams of their own. They are my pride and joy! People can call me what they want but people calling my kids a drain on the system is horrible and they're asking for war.

So hormonal today!

We have 5 DC and when pregnant with DC5 I hardly told anyone, such were the nasty comments. My own mother said it was ridiculous having another (I had been quie ill with the 3rd and 4th pregnancies) with the result we no longer speak .

We adore our large family and it is no one else's business, providing we can take care of them, why does it affect anyone else? It astounds me how people think they can pass comment on how others live. I don't question why friends have no children / stop at 1 or 2.

Enjoy your lovely family ~ you are blessed to have them x

Just to help you with your decision to have a fifth DC, I had 3dc under 4, like you, then 11 yrs before a lovely surprise dc4. We decided that we should have another DC to keep dc4 company when the older ones left home and also because we enjoyed her so much we wanted at least 1 more. We just told people 'in for a penny, in for a pound' when I was pregnant with dc5.

Oh yes we have had all the nasty comments too, now that the children are older (8, 7, 5 and 4), we get fewer comments for some reason, either because they have run out of things to say or because clearly they know the children can understand them, who knows. We mostly now get "are they all yours"..

It used to really upset me, I know some people have strong views but it is in fact none of their business. The most hurtful were the ones from our respective parents, we had some very harsh ones, now a few years on they still hurt but I have tried to forgive (although I cannot forget).

I have definitely felt like fair game after having my 4th.

Some people are just judgemental arses. If you support your children and aren't relying on the help of others financial or otherwise then what does it matter how many you have?

I know of a couple who are grandparents to two boys and are expecting their 13th in the next couple of months.