baby no 5 is 9 months old and i am ready for another. Why is this so wrong to so many people?!!

[babybear5]

My dd is now 9 months old. she is our 5th child and everyone asks are we finished cos we would be mad to have any more! Our 4 bedroom house isnt big enough, neither is our car but do these things matter? When do you get to the point when you decide you have had enough?? I could go on having babies for ever

Oh goody! How chuffed am I find a talk topic on larger families!

I'm expecting our 4th in March and have so many mixed feelings. Not about the baby itself - it was planned! - but I've had the expected 'your mad' 'where are going to put it?!' etc. And me being me, i say, yes, i must be mad! When I know I'm not...

And there's the work issue. I'm a very successful professional, working freelance (well known in my field) so - despite the fact that I'm busier than I've ever been - it will have to take a back step for a while, and I'm worrying about recovering my great contacts later on.... but then it was my choice...

Anyway, I'm just unsure about how to deal with the comments about 'being mad' etc...

I'm utterly shocked at some of the comments here, 'If you can afford it why not have as many as you want?' is a childish answer to a serious question, it's the equivalent of saying, 'well as long as you can afford more food, why not just keep eating! What harm can it do?' - well it can do a lot of harm, and seriously, so can churning out lots of kids.
Not in the short term, no, for us, we get all the benefits, lots of smiling faces, lots of love, lots of people who we cherish and care about, and lots of people who care about us too. Plus it helps satiate that biological tick!
However, we're setting up a ticking time bomb, not for our children, but for their children. In the next 10-20 years, we're going to find it hard to find jobs for all our young people - it's already tough. We're already seeing food prices rise - and yes, even chocolate is said to become as expensive as caviar by the year 2020. Although our wants and our ambitions are boundless, our resources aren't. Imagine two worlds
One where everyone has to temper their wants, but everyone has what they need. Everyone has homes, everyone has food, everyone has clothing and everyone is relatively safe.
Imagine the other where few if any have homes, food is in short supply, every day is a struggle for survival, crime is rife as employment is low.
You can choose which life you want your grandchildren to live. Don't take away the power you have to choose. Don't imagine that the problem is too big, and what difference will what you do make. Our children are the most precious thing we'll ever have, and we should put their welfare before everything, whether we're their to see it or not.

This sounds like I'm being inflammatory, but please, please, please, just for a second... think.

I really dont pay any attention to peoples comments about me having 5 children. Thats about them isnt it. I can say living in Ireland there isnt as big a deal about it. There are many families of 5,6 ,7 in the school I teach in. My dad comes from a family of 13 so 5 isnt that big. We are lucky in that space isn't an issue at home, makes things alot easier. We will not be having any more children as both myself and dd1 were lucky to survive her premature birth. Dh had his vasectomy booked by the time I'd left hospital. But I do think sometimes aww I'd have liked another, but this passes quickly. You do have to think long and hard, its not just affording them now its in the future as well. You want to be able to help them if you can.

Well babybear, I came from a horrible family where no secret was made of the fact I was unwanted and if I could have swapped to be the 6th, or 7th or even 10th child of someone who loved me I would have in a flash.

Sod what anyone else thinks. The right people to have kids are the people who're gonna love them and give them all they can. What a child loses out on in a big family in terms of parental attention and privacy it gains in terms sibling relationships and lessons in sharing.