I did something Friday never thought I would need to do

[Trulywonderful]

As a British non religious Jew in the multi cultural city that is London I never thought I would have this conversation with my 11 year old son.

My son attends a very nice state school not a Jewish one. However as most the children that attended his primary know my family are Jewish latest events made me nervous. Not that those kids he has attended the primary school would be an issue but that they might innocently tell others he is Jewish. Potentially leading to at best him being questioned about his views on the conflict and at worse a physical assault.

So I had two options Friday morning. Keep him home when I was possibly overly worrying about kids in his nice school or have the one talk I never thought would happen.

So I decided to have the talk. Told him to make sure he didn't mention being Jewish at school from now on. That if anyone started asking to say no or walk away. In RS lessons don't mention it, even if the teacher is talking about Jews. I am gutted still I had to tell him this.

My father was very obviously Jewish and even if he hid it on occasion he still looked Egyptian or something. Therefore growing up I saw regular antisemitism and prejudice because of his middle eastern looks.

It is easy for myself and my children to blend in because we are fairer non religious. I thought a conversation like Fridays would never happen.

I am still very sad to have had the conversation I am sure many Jewish religious families or others abroad etc have all the time.

I’m so sorry you had to do this 💞

I really don't think it's up to you to tell the OP how to handle this.

Are you going to explain why?

Fuck. I'm so sorry OP.

A friend of mine has had a similar conversation with her daughters this week, but instead she used their books to teach them about why being Jewish is something to be proud of and how recent events are not a reflection on individuals and their family. She has family in Israel and they are all very worried.

I'm not sure telling your children to hide the fact that they are Jewish is the right way to go, however I understand why you are concerned.

bless. I'm sure that was heart-breaking.

Are you Jewish?

But why? Surely living in London you are living with many faiths?

In our school we have Jewish, Muslim and all faiths in a CofE school. And any personal attack on their faith or gender any other belief would absolutely not be tolerated!

It's not our children's problem

What a dreadful situation. It shouldn't be necessary, but we know how antisemitism has escalated, and many of us are horrified by some of the posts on this website. You do what you can to keep your children, and yourselves, safe.

It's not our children's problem but sadly they may be paying the price.

OP I'm sorry you've had to do this but very much understand the 'why'.

To be honest, I think that was a bit too far. I can understand why you are concerned but the chances of anything happening to your family by others in the community knowing they are Jewish are basically nil and you could have damaged your son by having this conversation

Do you often suffer from anxiety? It might be worth getting in contact with your GP

Gosh, I'm so sorry op. I can't believe how unbelievably hard that must have been for you both.

So sad to hear this, but I have Jewish friends who have had to do similar in the past.

I am not Jewish, but my husband is and we've both experienced anti semitism.

To keep him safe, I think you did the right thing and would have done the same. I often think of many friends of your faith with whom I went to school and socialised as a teenager, and hope they’re not now facing antisemitism.

@Notanotherone5 please don't minimise the concerns that OP has. She doesn't need to see her GP. She needs people to support her and challenge antisemitism, which has sadly increased in the UK over the last week, and may well impact her child.

You do what you need to to keep your children safe.

Agree; what a world we live in now. I'm so sorry, OP.

Are you serious?
what are you expecting a GP to do about anti Semitism? That’s even if you can n get to see a GP.

I went to a state school and endured verbal and physical antisemitic attacks (and that's not including the casual antisemitism as an adult). As a child they weren't particularly heavy incidents, bar one, so it could have been a lot worse. But these incidents, however small, have nevertheless stayed with me for life. I was 6 years old the first time it happened - it's one of my earliest memories of school - and there wasn't even the same backdrop of a wider conflict at the time. The chances are very far from being "nil" as you say, and I find that quite an odd thing to state with such certainty.

There's a reason some Jews respond to events like these in the way OP has, and to tell her she could have "damaged" her son is unnecessary. And this can't be brushed off as general anxiety. The GP can't protect her kids from antisemitism, but the OP can try and limit the chances of antisemitic abuse and the subsequent mental "damage" it actually causes.

I’m so sorry you felt you had to do this, but I probably would have done the same in your position.

I'm very sorry to hear this, @etmoietmoietmoi , but sadly not surprised.
In my long and varied teaching career I've had to deal with students acting in this way, and support their victims. We've had some incidents recently.

Am so sorry you felt you had to do this . Am not Jewish but my partners Mother was and I totally understand why .

@Notanotherone5

Of course the OP is "suffering from anxiety". My god, anti semitism is rife at the moment and it's never that far from the surface on a good day. I think advising her to speak to her GP is incredibly glib. All of us do whatever it takes to protect our children. Imagine if we had to consider potential death threats and heaven knows what else. These are exceptionally dangerous times and I am so sorry that the OP has had to do this.