I did something Friday never thought I would need to do

[Trulywonderful]

As a British non religious Jew in the multi cultural city that is London I never thought I would have this conversation with my 11 year old son.

My son attends a very nice state school not a Jewish one. However as most the children that attended his primary know my family are Jewish latest events made me nervous. Not that those kids he has attended the primary school would be an issue but that they might innocently tell others he is Jewish. Potentially leading to at best him being questioned about his views on the conflict and at worse a physical assault.

So I had two options Friday morning. Keep him home when I was possibly overly worrying about kids in his nice school or have the one talk I never thought would happen.

So I decided to have the talk. Told him to make sure he didn't mention being Jewish at school from now on. That if anyone started asking to say no or walk away. In RS lessons don't mention it, even if the teacher is talking about Jews. I am gutted still I had to tell him this.

My father was very obviously Jewish and even if he hid it on occasion he still looked Egyptian or something. Therefore growing up I saw regular antisemitism and prejudice because of his middle eastern looks.

It is easy for myself and my children to blend in because we are fairer non religious. I thought a conversation like Fridays would never happen.

I am still very sad to have had the conversation I am sure many Jewish religious families or others abroad etc have all the time.

I have really struggled with what to tell my children - part of me wanted to ask them to not mention the fact they are Jewish. However, they are incredibly proud of their heritage - despite being 6 and 9 they love to stand up at school and talk about festivals etc so everyone knows. Then o think if I tell them to hide it what message am I giving them .. I have decided if they face any anti-semitism at school (as has happened before) I will just need to tackle it head on

We all just have to do what we feel is right for our own individual children don't we. Everyone lives in different places with different cultural mixes and different types of schools. I don't think there is a right or wrong with this one. After all it is only one of my children that I have told he needs to be careful about telling people he is Jewish. My other children are at different stages in their lifes and have stronger resilience if someone starts on them.

Thank you everyone for your kindness. It was good to hear different experiences. Even if a little saddening as well.

@CloudyAgain my family’s story is the same except they embraced C of E. My Mum told me before she died about the times in the 30s when she was a small child and got stones thrown at her and chased through the streets for being Jewish. The family changed their name and reinvented themselves. I didn’t find out until I was in my 30s and doing some research into the family tree that we were Jewish.

I did the same with my kids. I don’t think I was wrong to either. I work for a local authority and after 7/10 I heard anti Jewish racism from a colleague so blatant it took my breath away.
Unfortunately we have to be careful.