Azoospermia - Donor Route Support

[Blue234]

Hi everyone!

This thread is dedicated to those of us navigating the azo journey and considering or have chosen the donor route.

I thought it would be great if we could share our experiences, offer support, and help each other through this challenging path.

Looking forward to hearing your stories and supporting one another along the way.

I am happy to start this thread by sharing our story:
-After around 1 year TTC, we were diagnosed with unexplained non-obstructive azoospermia back in March 2024. We were given 30% chances of finding sperm with MTESE but my partner decided he wanted to try all we could before moving to option B.
-We had MTESE done via NHS in August 2024 and unfortunately it was unsuccessful. We had lots of discussion before the surgery and we had agreed that we would good via donor route if the surgery wasn't successful.
-We have now been referred for a NHS funded IVF cycle using sperm donor (funded by us) and currently waiting for the clinic to call us to have implications counselling.
-In the meantime, we are currently in parallel the process of finding a suitable donor.

I’m feeling a mix of emotions right now. On one hand, I’m happy and excited that we still have a chance to become parents and the idea of a future baby brings me so much joy. But on the other hand, there’s still a lingering sadness about what we’re going through, especially when I think about what my partner is facing.

Even though I know it’s not all about genetics, who hasn’t dreamed of having a baby that looks like their partner or a blend of both of us? While I believe I’ve mostly come to terms with this, a part of me still feels a bit heartbroken.

Choosing a donor is challenging. We try not to overthink it and even find moments to joke around while browsing profiles, but there’s so much to consider. One thing that particularly worries me is the possibility of our child wanting to contact the donor when they’re an adult. What if the donor isn’t kind to them? I know this is something far off in the future and out of our control, but it’s been on my mind lately.

Sorry for my long message, I will stop now! But just thought of sharing some of my thoughts to start with!

Looking forward to hear your stories!

@Magix86 @StarJasmine93 looping you into this new thread :)

Oh @StarJasmine93 congratulations! What a way to find out. How are you feeling now? That sounds awful!

I’m okay, just feeling a bit deflated. We’ve been put forward for IVF but need to wait for a slot, so doing another IUI and had a follicle of 13mm Monday so back in tomorrow. Hoping I don’t ovulate at the weekend or it’s another month passed. I was supposed to have counselling yesterday and they never called so just a bit frustrating.

I guess all of us starting at the same time but me not knowing the details of IUI or naively thinking it would just work now just feels so long to wait. But then in another breath I could be pregnant in 2 weeks. All just a mind fuck. Time feels so long yet so short…

Aww @Disco24 sorry you are having such a tough time. Have they given you any guidance on when you may get an IVF slot?

That's so bad from the counsellor. Have they been in touch to apologise??

Hope the cycle goes okay for you @Disco24. Do keep us posted on how it goes. I have everything crossed for you. 🤞🤞

Sending you big hugs xx

Not yet, just that they had put me forward for it, but that would need to be accepted etc. I will check tomorrow, good question, thank you 💖

Nope I’ve not heard from the counsellor, worked from home etc for it so it’s the ripple effect of all these things. I’m also going to pick this up tomorrow.

Anyway don’t want to drag the mood down for you all! How are you feeling? Xx

Oh gosh that's a lot to deal with @StarJasmine93 no wonder you're feeling so unwell!! I'm so sorry to hear all this. Hope you're resting up and feeling better really soon. HUGE congrats on the BFP!! Really pleased for you ❤️ I can't actually believe it's worked first time for all of us, I went into this thinking we'd need around 3 separate rounds! Please keep us updated on how you're doing.

@Disco24 I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling deflated 😞 I get it must be difficult knowing we all started at the same time. Please don't ever think you're dragging the mood down - we're all here for you whatever you need ❤️
It's great the clinic have put you forward for IVF now. Once you start things will move really quickly 🤞🏻 but good that you can still have the IUI while you wait for a timeframe. Sending big hugs xxx

Thank you @Magix86 ❤️. Will keep you posted of course.

We have our scan booked in for the 12th of March so 3 weeks from today 😬.

I hope I'm better by then 😅. Just want to feel normal again... Though I might not get that for a wee while if I get any pregnancy symptoms 👀😂

I'm feeling okay today @Disco24 still in a bit of pain and quite uncomfortable but there isn't a cure ... Just pain management through paracetamol and lots of rest needed 🤞

And yes, same to what @Magix86 said. Don't be silly you aren't dragging the mood down at all. This journey can be so frustrating and we are all here for you no matter what! I really hope IUI works for you / they get you in for IVF asap. As @Magix86 says, if you do end up down the IVF route, once you start it does all pass fairly quickly ❤️

@StarJasmine93 congratulations on your BFP!😍Thats amazing news! I am so sorry to hear about OHSS, when you told us about your symptoms this never came to my mind either! You might recall I was at risk of OHSS and got very scared after the egg retrieval cause I got very bloated and uncomfortable, but luckily doctors confirmed it was just normal from the procedure. And luckily (keeping fingers crossed) OHSS didnt show up after pregnancy.
Glad to hear you are back home and hope you feel better soon! Just try to focus on the positive bit which is you are pregnant! :)

@Disco24 so sorry to hear you are feeling a bit deflated. As @Magix86 said, we are here for whatever you need. Keeping fingers crossed for you on the next days! and hopefully in the meantime you will get news about your IVF cycle if needed (which maybe you dont even need :) ) sending you a big hug from here!🤗

Thanks ladies I really appreciate it 💖 it would just be nice to catch a break soon. Hospital are thinking I might ovulate early so hopefully we’re in lucky cycle number #3!

Thanks @Blue234 ! Yeah I know, a bit of a curve ball for us 😅.

Trying to focus on the positive like you say and also on recovery 😊.

Great news @Disco24 got our fingers crossed. Will insemination be any day now then??

Hi ladies! How are we all doing?

Feeling a bit more positive this week so wanted to thank you for picking me up last week 💖 how are you all? Any updates?

As expected I ended up getting a positive OPK early and we had our IUI procedure Friday, the nurse even let my husband be the one to syringe the sperm in so he felt a part of it. Numbers looked better too, so 5.5million this time vs. last times 4, and pre ovulation not post which sometimes has better chances. So lots of things to look positively on, 11 days to go xx

Hey @Disco24 ! I've been thinking of you! Thats great news!🙏 Glad to hear you are feeling positive and you had a better experience🤗 sending lots of good vibes for positive news in 11 days!🤗🤗

I am feeling better in the last week🙏. My food aversion seems to be getting better and I have more appetite now🤞 and since I am done with the progesterone pessaries I am feeling much better overall. No sure if it is just coincidence. We are having our next scan privately in a couple of weeks and I cant wait for it! Also we decided to do NIPT testing early and feeling a bit anxious about it. My mind just keeps going about what ifs, but I guess its normal worries all mums have during pregnancy. Keeping fingers crossed everything will be all right🙏

@Magix86 @StarJasmine93 how are things on your end?

Hey @Disco24, been thinking about you and wondering how you were getting on.

Aw wow! That sounds like such a great experience with lots of positives. That's so nice your husband could be involved as well ❤️. I have everything crossed for you guys! I want it so bad for you 🤞. Hope the next 11 days go quick for you.

I'm doing okay. Feeling loads better but still not 100%. I still have some pain but my bloating has gone down a fair bit thankfully. I don't know that I've had many pregnancy symptoms but have been weeing constantly and I've woken up today with very sensitive boobs 😅.

I'm struggling a bit with the anxiety of this pregnancy working. It seems ridiculous because you spend so long getting to this point, you should just be able to enjoy it but I'm a bag of nerves and feel like my scan is so far away 😥. @Blue234 @Magix86 any tips for managing anxiety at this stage?

@Blue234 are you showing yet with the twins? 🥰

Also @Blue234 what's made you decide to do the NIPT test? For peace of mind? When in your pregnancy is it recommended?

Thanks ladies. I totally can see why you’re anxious @StarJasmine93, I had this conversation with my husband last night. Most women get pregnant then worry but we’ve had years of worry before this point so it’s only to be expected that the feeling is compounded.

Glad to hear your bloating has gone down too ❤️

Happy to hear you’re off the pessaries @Blue234 I’m back on them woop! 😅😂 so exciting to be having another scan soon. Eeek 😍

Ahh @Disco24 yes!!!! Glad you got another one in so soon and lovely that your husband was able to be involved!! Hope the next 10 days go quickly for you 🤞🏻

@Blue234 how far along will you be for your next scan? I'm assuming the IVF clinic have discharged you now?

@StarJasmine93 when is your scan? Can't be long now! I have no real advice I'm sorry - I'm a bag of nerves the whole time 😅 I don't know when it will stop! I'm not feeling great atm, have pretty frequent migraines and spending a lot of time in bed with the lights off 😞 I'm hoping they do ease soon but I'm certainly not in that phase yet of just enjoying being pregnant!
We were hoping to start telling people soon now I'm 14weeks but I still don't feel ready. I feel like I just want one more scan to be really sure lol.

@Disco24 yeah you are so right! Totally unfair 😂

@Magix86 sorry you aren't feeling very well. You've done well not to tell anyone. Our parents know and a couple friends who have been following our journey closely but I'm dying to shout it from the rooftops 😂. When you having your next scan?

My scan is 2 weeks tomorrow. Feels like a lifetime to wait. I'm just so worried about it. I'm so desperate for it to all be okay and for us to have a healthy life growing in there 🤞🤞.

Thank you @StarJasmine93 our next scan is the 20 week anomaly scan! Thankfully it's a little early so is in 4 and a half weeks. Currently debating whether to have another private scan this Saturday before telling family, although I'm not sure it will really ease my anxiety enough. I'm really not sure. I might feel easier just putting off telling them until after the 20 week scan!
That first scan is probably the hardest one to wait for. Once you've seen that little heartbeat it really does reassure you. Try and stay busy for the next couple weeks to distract yourself from the wait - I had a countdown of the days which actually helped me knowing it was getting closer all the time. Please do let us know how it goes, will be thinking of you! 🙏🤞🏻❤️

@StarJasmine93 glad to hear you are feeling better! Unfortunately it seems that anxiety is always there during pregnancy and even when babies are here...All my friends that already had kids have told me that it doesn't go away. I guess all what we need is to try to focus on the day to day and keep the "what ifs" away (she says confidently 😂).

I was feeling quite anxious about my first scan, was just thinking "oh what if there is no baby? what if there is no heartbeat". We had the first scan, every went well but now I am same, waiting for the next scan and my worry now is whether both babies are still there.

My only recommendation for anxiety is not to read a lot online about pregnancy in case you are. I have been doing a lot of reading just to learn and try to be as ready as possible, and at the end, without looking for it intentionally, I have found so much information specially related to twins and complications that didn't make any good on me...so I am trying not to read that much anymore...

Re - my bump, I believe maybe I have a bit more belly than usual, but still not very noticeable. When we learned we are expecting twins, I checked videos of twins bumps and omg...i regretted it instantly 😂they were looking so uncomfortable and scary.

@Magix86 sorry to hear you are not feeling so well :) hope your migraine gets better soon! I will be 11 weeks when I have the private scan. NIPT testing can be done from week 10, so we decided to wait until week 11 and it includes a scan as well. My fertility clinic discharged me when we had the early pregnancy scan but I still havent met my midwife (I have the appointment this week and hope they schedule the 12 weeks NHS scan soon).

Re NIPT testing, we are just doing it for peace of mind. Our nurse in the fertility clinic told us that she doesnt think it is necessary given my age and history, but anyway we prefer to have it done. Also, even not the most important thing at the moment, I am quite keen to know the gender of the babies😂and they can find out with this test as well.

@Magix86 yeah it doesn't feel real yet because I've only seen a positive test rather than any evidence that a little baby is actually growing in there. I obviously tested on official test day which was last Wednesday and then did another on Sunday for peace of mind. My line was even darker so I've taken some comfort from that 🤞.

@Blue234 omg reading stuff online is all I do right now 😂. I was pretty good at not doing this through the IVF injections period but now we've had a positive, I'm constantly googling and watching Instagram reels 🙄😂.

We are thinking about booking a holiday for the summer to try and distract ourselves over the next couple weeks. We are also heading to the lake district next week which we already had booked so got plenty going on at least.

@Blue234 @Magix86 do you guys have any inkling into the genders yet?

@StarJasmine93 it's so bizarre just getting that positive test and nothing else! I have no idea how people that fall pregnant naturally just wait for 12 whole weeks?! At least we get to see it around 7 weeks or so lol.
Booking holidays is the best distraction! I'm also doing the same for april/May time 😊
Atm I don't actually want to know the sex. I'm keen for a surprise, although I'm not sure if things might show on our next scan that we can't avoid 😅
I have a feeling looking at the 12 week scan it's a girl. But my partner said he thought he saw something there when they were doing the scan so he thinks boy lol 😆 so who knows!

@StarJasmine93 yeah I am also scrolling down Instagram reels all the time on cute babies, names and other stuff 😂

Re- baby gender, my husband and I have a different view, I have a feeling it will be boys, he is completely sure it will be girls. Let's see what happen, hope he is the right one though😂

I also would like to go on a holiday, but would like to go back home (we are not originally from UK), but I guess we need to wait to see whether doctors give us the green light for flying and also to see how the pregnancy progresses. With twin pregnancy they might not recommend it. Let's see how things move on!

Haha yes @Blue234 the cute baby videos and names on Instagram are addictive 😂.

Funny that you both have different opinions to your partner's on the gender 😂.

@Magix86 a surprise sounds so lovely. My friend did that and she loved finding out at the birth. I'm so not built for the patience of that 😂😂 I'll defo need to find out the gender as soon as I can.

Hope you all have a good week ahead and look forward to hearing updates as they come xx

Hi ladies!! Sorry I didn’t realise I’d missed so much! I’m glad you’re all getting on well, @StarJasmine93 I believe your scan is this week too! How are you feeling? We’ve also been looking at holidays, we definitely all deserve a break 💖

Unfortunately our second IUI also failed so now on our request we’re getting referred for IVF. I feel at peace about that decision, and glad we can aim get a few embryos and future proof ourselves a little. Can you ladies remember how long on the NHS it took from referral to first round? They’ve said max 3 months, but they’re trying to expedite it given we’re already in the system etc.

Been thinking of you all a lot! Hoping to be joining you in the excitement sooooon xx

Ah @Disco24 I'm so sorry to hear the IUI failed. But so happy they are progressing with IVF now! Hope you're being kind to yourself during this difficult time.
I think our timeline was a bit complicated so not sure it's entirely helpful in your situation, but just in case:
First appointment with IVF clinic was in June but was focused on my partner and surgical sperm retrieval. When this failed in September and we told them we wanted to go ahead with donor sperm they immediately applied for the funding (which turns out was already confirmed so not necessary). Our first consultation for IVF was then a month later and I started meds on my next cycle in Nov. So very quick once we knew what we were going ahead with. The delay was for andrology, meds and surgery for my partner.

Hey @Disco24 you've been on my mind a lot recently, I knew your test day had been and gone. Really sorry to hear it didn't work 😞. I've had everything crossed for you.

Glad things are progressing with IVF and that they hope to fast track things.

Similar to @Magix86 my timelines were all over the place too. I'll begin from the failed MTese:

• Appointment with consultant 1 week after MTese and agreed to go for IUI
• 2-3 weeks later we found out funding was declined due to my AMH
• Happy accident that we had actually moved to an area under a new ICB so our only other option was to register at the local GP and apply for funding through them. They only funded IVF so couldn't try IUI
• Our registration at new GP literally took less than 24 hours and then we had funding accepted within a few days
• We then ordered donor sperm (this was funded too) this part delayed stuff by like a month or so but irrelevant for you as you have your sperm already.
• Due to me needing a long protocol and how my cycle landed, we then had to wait because of Christmas bank holidays so from funding accepted to starting the pill (first part of my treatment), I was maybe 2 months ISH wait

Hope that helps and that it's relatively quick for you @Disco24 .

How you feeling @Magix86 have your headaches eased a bit?

Scan is tomorrow so will keep you all posted 🤞. Quite apprehensive. I still get some OHSS pain would you believe... Hoping it's a good sign that HCG levels are still high and that's why. We will see!!