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Infertility

Our Infertility Support forum is a space to connect with others in the same position, discuss causes, treatment and IVF, and share infertility stories of hope and success.

BFP after IVF - the journey continues (part 2)

976 replies

HopefulllHolly · 11/07/2024 15:46

SENSITIVE CONTENT

Continuation of previous thread for anyone with a BFP following IVF to support with anxieties and other worries that come along with pregnancy after infertility.

@AnnieStar12
@DippyDuck19
@DogMummy87
@Edf
@Fluffyted
@Leaf86
@LouP87
@Natty2
@SETTC87
@ThePeachGoose
@jas1996
@lemonyfox
@oliviagrace2307
@summerchild92

Please tag anyone else I’ve missed accidentally!

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Natty2 · 22/09/2024 18:44

@Fluffyted I really feel for you! I'd be so upset too and you are right to feel how you do!
Would your partner say something to her?

@DippyDuck19 what did you go for in the end?
I finally looked at some prams today so deciding!

DippyDuck19 · 22/09/2024 19:42

@Natty2 I went for the bugaboo fox 5 bundle with the Cybex cloud T car seat.

@HopefulllHolly I went for the green in the end. Was soo torn!

HopefulllHolly · 22/09/2024 20:20

@DippyDuck19 Ah no I like the green one too! I think I’m just getting the pushchair bundle as I want a different car seat than what it comes with. But we’ll see!

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HopefulllHolly · 22/09/2024 21:14

I’m a bit anxious this evening - baby hasn’t really moved today. Felt her very slightly this morning but nothing tonight and she’s usually really active now. 😔 I’m sure she’s just tucked away somewhere but it’s scary!

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Faith2024 · 22/09/2024 23:09

@HopefulllHolly it’s probably nothing but would you consider going for a check? It’s one thing my midwife used to stress in my first pregnancy. If it stays same in the morning definitely worth going in.

I was reading this page on and off and decided to join. I’m nearly 12 weeks pregnant & going for my 12 weeks scan tomorrow morning. Both excited and nervous.

I saw someone post about birth options and it’s true what they say about keeping an open mind. I was completely sold the natural birth narrative and did hypnobirthing and all the other bits to prepare myself first time round. I ended having an emergency C-section. Which was fine because it saved my child’s life. This time I am going straight for an elective C section as I feel it’s safest way for myself and baby. I get so angry reading that there are too many interventions and medicalisation of birth nowadays etc etc because while natural birth is great and doable for majority of women for some that will never be a reality. And the reason we have low mortality rate for mums giving birth is because there are medical interventions. They have a place and that too needs to be normalised.

summerchild92 · 23/09/2024 06:40

So much to catch up on! Congratulations @Sierra26 and @nicky0 and everyone else who had lovely scans. 🥰🥰

Mine is on Thursday (16 weeks) and I can’t wait. I’m nervous again obviously and truly hope everything is okay! Does this ever stop? Being sooo nervous all the time!!!

@Fluffyted I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I don’t have a similar story but my husband’s parents don’t have a relationship with me at all. They were super hateful towards me when we were trying to conceive and couldn’t so I just distanced myself. My partner is an only child so he sees them from time to time but they are not super involved. They were happy about the pregnancy but ever since they found out 7 weeks ago they haven’t asked a thing about how I am or if the baby is okay, etc. 😏😏

I would ask your partner to talk to her and return all the things. If it’s necessary, have him tell her that HE doesn’t like the things lol as it is completely different if a child tells their mother they don’t like something, compared to you being the person who isn’t happy. Also, she needs to know that she is literally taking away all the excitement of choosing things together from the two of you …

My mother wants to buy things as well and sometimes comments my choices (pissed me off when she commented on the bed I chose haha), but for the most part my parents just give us money and tell us to get whatever for the baby. My partners family doesn’t get involved at all and hasn’t offered a thing … oh, wait; they did. They offered a high chair they used 30 yrs ago to feed my husband. And he kindly refused lol

ugh, parents!!!

DippyDuck19 · 23/09/2024 06:55

@HopefulllHolly if you are worried that she's not moving like she normally does, I would get checked out. I'm sure she is fine. Just having a chill tucked away!

@Faith2024 welcome and congratulations. Hope your scan goes well today.

HopefulllHolly · 23/09/2024 07:19

Hi @Faith2024 Congratulations on your little one! Hope the scan goes well today. I find scans terrifying and exciting in equal measure - haven’t had one I haven’t cried at relief at yet 😂 And yes you are absolutely right about birth options - it’s just a minefield really! Everything suggests you have a list of preferences but then when you ask for help with them everyone says not to have them because birth is so random. It’s made me feel overwhelmed so I’ve just decided not to think about it and wait to speak to my midwife.

Thankfully baby is moving in there - she’s just hidden behind the placenta I think. I felt her a couple of times before bed but much lighter movement and in the night I could feel her too. So I think she is just in a position where movement feels less obvious thank god! Will definitely go to the pregnancy unit if I stop feeling her in future though. So tricky as I had such a busy day and wasn’t looking for it anyway and also they say not to really bother with looking for it too much until 24 weeks plus. So confusing as ever! Thanks for the advice both @DippyDuck19! ☺️

Good luck for Thursday @summerchild92 im sure it’ll all be fine!

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Leaf86 · 23/09/2024 10:46

Welcome @Faith2024 hope the 12 week scan goes well! I will be going straight for elective c section this time too.

@HopefulllHolly I had a day like that yesterday too (22 weeks exactly today) and was wondering whether to ring and I almost posted on here too. Baby started moving more perceptibly for me by the evening too, thankfully. I know they can’t put you on the CTG until 28 weeks (I think) so it’s essentially a heartbeat check before then. My midwife said to me that a complete absence of movement when you had been feeling movement daily (regularly) would be worth a ring for peace of mind, but don’t expect a pattern until later on. Not sure if that’s helpful? But good she was moving in the night too. I can never feel baby in the night ! Ever!

Sierra26 · 23/09/2024 11:43

To update those who held my hand through my first few days of testing… did my first digital today at 13dp5dt /4+4 and got 2-3 weeks result, as hoped for. Absolutely unreal feeling, I can’t stop going back to look at it.

OTD tomorrow, once I’ve phoned it in I will try my best to stop testing! While I have no symptoms it just feels like testing is the only evidence I have that this is all real, I’m sure I’m not the only one!

DippyDuck19 · 23/09/2024 12:50

@HopefulllHolly glad she's moving again. But as @Leaf86 says before 24-26 weeks it will just be a heartbeat check which will give reassurance!

@Sierra26 congratulations on your positive digital result. Completely understand the surreal feeling especially with no symptoms. I remember my only symptom was feeling really tired and cramps but had felt like that because of the progesterone pessaries! My symptoms didn't kick in til midway through 5-6 weeks but you may not get any symptoms at all! Hopefully your clinic will book you in for a scan soon (usually around 7 weeks) but the next 2-3 weeks will feel like the longest wait of your life! Much worse than the tww! But we're all here if you need us.

HopefulllHolly · 23/09/2024 13:26

@Leaf86 It’s horrible isn’t it! Hopefully we just have babies that like chilling on a Sunday 😂 Glad both babies are ok! I only really felt her in the night because I have insomnia from 2am-4am every day - so I noticed she was squirming around then and then I managed to get back to sleep. I felt her once before I went to bed which felt like she was saying “Oi mum I’m ok stop worrying”. I was so relieved! I can’t imagine what it would be like to go in and have a heartbeat check and not hear anything - the worst feeling imaginable I think. Just a couple more weeks to get through and we’ll start being treated like our baby is here to stay by hospitals! It’s maddening they won’t do anything before then but I suppose it makes sense as baby wouldn’t make it anyway. I’m working today and back at my desk and I can feel her moving a lot now because I’m all crumbled up with my bad posture 😂 she can’t have much room in there.
Also been trying to work out my annual leave and mat leave to make sure I’m being clever with it but my brain just won’t work with numbers. Think @DippyDuck19 you were talking about baby brain - I put dog kibble in my tea this morning and then put the milk away in the cupboard with the cereal. Cannot multitask or use my brain like usual!! 🤣🤣🤣

@Sierra26 Ah bless you - glad the tests are still strong! Hope you’re having a good holiday and able to forget about it briefly to enjoy yourself!

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DippyDuck19 · 23/09/2024 13:41

@HopefulllHolly 🤣🤣 oh yes! I've definitely put things in the fridge that don't belong in the fridge!
I'm back at work today after having last week annual leave. I'm already on a countdown until my next week off! (5 weeks to go 😂) and then when I get back after that it's 4 weeks left until I'm off from December! Am soo ready to go now lol (although I don't want baby to come just yet!!) I hope the next few weeks go quickly!

AnnieStar12 · 23/09/2024 13:43

@Fluffyted argh, that sounds soo annoying about your MIL. I guess she thinks she's being helpful! But as others have said, your OH needs to have a word as it's not for her to be picking things, which is half the fun for you getting ready for the new baby.
I have the opposite problem, my MIL only gave us a really small gift when our DD was born and has never offered to do any of the usual grandparent big buys (and it's not that she can't afford to, she just never offered and doesn't really do much in the way of giving). So it's my mum who has always done that, I think for all my babies she's got me the pram/cat seat set and has brought big bits like the cot, but she never tries to say what I should get, her only opinion is that she will always suggest the safest options as she's a bit safety/hygiene conscious! Hopefully you can sort it out, and maybe just return or resell what she has got already so you can pick what you want for yourself.

@HopefulllHolly glad baby is moving again :) I've not really felt much more since that big kicking session last Thursday night. Just a few little tickles, but not much and not every day. I asked the doc at my scan and he said he wouldn't worry until after 26 weeks. About the pre-eclampsia risk you asked about, apparently at my hospital they check the uterine artery pressure which he said it's just a risk assessment they do which helps identify those more at risk, but even then only 10% identified will develop pre-eclampsia. He told me not to worry too much as I wouldn't even know this is I was at another hospital as most don't even do this test.

@DippyDuck19 exciting about the pram! Yesterday I finally allowed myself to buy some baby bits - just grabbed some outfits on Vinted. Felt really good as I've not allowed myself to do anything like that before the 20 week scan. Now I'm excited to pull out all the baby bags from the loft and remind myself what I have.

@Faith2024 good luck with the scan! I'm totally with you about being grateful for medical intervention. I find the pressure to have a 'natural' birth in this country so crazy. It's so upsetting all the reviews of maternity care that have come out in recent years showing how that attitude has led to avoidable harms for women and babies.

@Sierra26 Very exciting to hear your HCG is progressing :) I know it's stressful not feeling lots of symptoms, but it is quite common. I didn't ever really feel any symptoms in the first trimester, beyond tiredness and maybe bigger boobs. And even now at 20 weeks my main 'symptom' is my bump, haha! I'm glad I didn't suffer with morning sickness, but I was desperate for something to keep reminding me that I was definitely pregnant. And now I'm just super keen to get regular movements so I can have something to remind me it's real! I think it's just in the movies and books where every pregnant woman starts vomiting as the first sign they're pregnant!

LouP87 · 23/09/2024 15:13

Just back from my consultant scan - good news is my placenta, although still anterior, is now high and moved right out the my way of my cervix. The pesky blood vessels they thought they could see near my cervix are nowhere to be seen so I’ve been cleared of vasa previa which is a relief!

In other news, baby boy’s belly is measuring 90th percentile! So they are slightly concerned for gestational diabetes, but I actually have that test tomorrow so not long before we find out anyway.

the only “regular” movements I get is when I’m watching TikTok in the bath each day 😅 otherwise it’s a rare small kick at random times, nothing I can monitor really.

HopefulllHolly · 23/09/2024 15:35

@AnnieStar12 How are you getting on? So nice you’ve bought some little things for baby at last! When are you venturing up to the loft? You’ve been quieter on here but I’m taking it as a good thing as it means you’re less anxious ☺️ So nice we’re all starting to feel like it’s real finally and let go of some of the fear.

@LouP87 How many weeks are you now? I keep forgetting where everyone is! I’ve tried to keep track but my notes aren’t very good! Super pleased to hear your placenta is out the way now and all the blood vessels have gone, bet that’s a relief for you. It feels like you read quite a bit about babies measuring big on the tummy (mine is apparently too according to the 20 week scan but they didn’t tell me the percentile or any information whatsoever). Guess I’ll find out at my midwife appointments when they measure me. I feel feckin huge though so I wouldn’t be surprised if I had a growth scan at some point. My friend is due almost the same time and I’m double the size of her. 😅 I can’t stop eating though and when I try and curb it a bit I just end up starving and wanting treats. Hope the test goes ok tomorrow! Hope it’s not too bad.
Cute that little boy likes the bath too!

I’ll also blame @DippyDuck19 for mentioning Apple danish’s as it made me raid the freezer and I found Apple strudel so I’ve eaten that over 3 nights and then moved on to Apple pie 🤣 Anything stewed Apple is what I want atm. I am a GREEDY 🐷

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DippyDuck19 · 23/09/2024 15:46

@HopefulllHolly sorry about the apple danish! I've been craving one all day! I have a thing for apples at the mo.

@LouP87 glad your placenta has moved up! Bet that's a relief!

I wasn't given percentiles either but there's a website you put in how many weeks your measurements were taken and then add in the measurements themselves, it tells you what percentile. Although not sure if it's accurate but baby boys belly was 67th, head 32nd and femur 29th.

HopefulllHolly · 23/09/2024 15:53

Oh I don’t even know any of the measurements - they never told me! Just said baby was fine and head slightly bigger, tummy slightly bigger and legs slightly shorter. But that’s her dads body shape so haven’t paid it much attention 😂 @DippyDuck19 Apple strudel and ice cream hits the apple cravings 🤣🐽

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LouP87 · 23/09/2024 15:56

Thanks @HopefulllHolly @DippyDuck19

I’m 24+2 now. The hospital gives me a print out of my report each time I go, to go in with my maternity notes. Helpful but also have loads of random bits of paper. Also sometimes I feel like more info creates more anxiety because it allows me to google more!

Absolutely knackered today - we’ve been to IKEA which was traumatic, to buy an extra set of drawers for baby’s clothes etc and listing lots of furniture on marketplace to make space for new things we need!

Everlore · 23/09/2024 16:06

Hope it's ok for me to join. I'm currently 22 weeks pregnant with our first longed-for IVF baby. Had our 20 week scan a couple of weeks ago and, thank god, all is looking good. However, they were unable to get a proper look at her spine as she would not turn over for the sonographer to get a clear image so we're going back tomorrow for another scan to see if she'll be more cooperative! I'm not too worried because we had a private reassurance scan only a couple of weeks earlier where the sonographer got an excellent look at her spine and all looked fine.
I'm an anxious person at the best of times but pregnancy has sent my anxiety levels through the roof, I've been living in constant fear that something would go wrong or that I might inadvertantly harm our baby by eating or doing the wrong thing. We decided not to tell anyone, apart from my sister, until we had the 20 week scan so have just begun to share our happy news with close friends and family. I'm still extremely worried about something going wrong, but I'm feeling a lot more calm now I've started to feel our baby moving about, I was concerned I hadn't felt anything I could definitely identify as baby movement up until a few days ago, but I can definitely feel her moving about a lot now, especially at night when I'm lying down, she's kicking away then!
Hope you're all doing well.

DippyDuck19 · 23/09/2024 16:13

@HopefulllHolly ahh don't! I'm walking to the shops in a minute I'll be searching for an apple strudel 🤣

@LouP87 I've been putting off a trip to Ikea! I'm getting the cot and pax wardrobe from there for the nursery. But it's always soo busy 😞

@Everlore congratulations on your pregnancy and reaching the 20 week milestone! It's such a relief and lovely that you can now share your news with others! Completely with you on the anxiety too! I feel like it won't ever stop, even once they're here!!

HopefulllHolly · 23/09/2024 16:18

@LouP87 Ah that’s amazing - past the viable stage now! Oh I wish I got that stuff - to be honest I probably should have asked them for it as I don’t see how my community midwife knows anything about my pregnancy as you can’t access anything on Badger Notes! It’s just totally blank really. Bit concerning! What have you got to get rid of? Hopefully not too much! Ikea on any day of the week is quite stressful - I tend to race around until I get to the candles and plants and then fill my trolley 🤣🤣 Lovely you are getting all prepared! I wonder if the next 10
weeks will go fast for us or slow! I’m hoping fast as I’m already shattered and can’t be bothered with work at all.

@Everlore Hi! ☺️ Congratulations! You’re a similar gestation to me - I’m 22+4 today. The anxiety is bonkers isn’t it! I keep talking to mums at work and they all think I’m batshit for worrying so much - must be lovely for them to be someone who just glides through pregnancy with every faith they’ll have a baby at the end! How amazing you’ve managed to keep your pregnancy quiet for so long too! Telling people has been really lovely I’ve found - it makes it feel really real. My partner felt the baby kick and then told lots of his close friends and he cried his eyes out with happiness after because I don’t think he’d felt like it was actually happening really. You put up so many barriers to protect yourself and your bubble without realising 🥹 Hope it’s magical letting all your loved ones know. Do you know if you’re having a girl or boy yet? The girls on here have been such a massive support for me (I would have honestly lost my tiny mind without them!) so if you ever have any anxieties then it’s a good place to be! Like you say, I’m sure the spine of baby is fine and they are just being sneaky hiding away from being checked. They move so much I’m surprised they manage to check anything to be honest!

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Everlore · 23/09/2024 16:29

HopefulllHolly · 23/09/2024 16:18

@LouP87 Ah that’s amazing - past the viable stage now! Oh I wish I got that stuff - to be honest I probably should have asked them for it as I don’t see how my community midwife knows anything about my pregnancy as you can’t access anything on Badger Notes! It’s just totally blank really. Bit concerning! What have you got to get rid of? Hopefully not too much! Ikea on any day of the week is quite stressful - I tend to race around until I get to the candles and plants and then fill my trolley 🤣🤣 Lovely you are getting all prepared! I wonder if the next 10
weeks will go fast for us or slow! I’m hoping fast as I’m already shattered and can’t be bothered with work at all.

@Everlore Hi! ☺️ Congratulations! You’re a similar gestation to me - I’m 22+4 today. The anxiety is bonkers isn’t it! I keep talking to mums at work and they all think I’m batshit for worrying so much - must be lovely for them to be someone who just glides through pregnancy with every faith they’ll have a baby at the end! How amazing you’ve managed to keep your pregnancy quiet for so long too! Telling people has been really lovely I’ve found - it makes it feel really real. My partner felt the baby kick and then told lots of his close friends and he cried his eyes out with happiness after because I don’t think he’d felt like it was actually happening really. You put up so many barriers to protect yourself and your bubble without realising 🥹 Hope it’s magical letting all your loved ones know. Do you know if you’re having a girl or boy yet? The girls on here have been such a massive support for me (I would have honestly lost my tiny mind without them!) so if you ever have any anxieties then it’s a good place to be! Like you say, I’m sure the spine of baby is fine and they are just being sneaky hiding away from being checked. They move so much I’m surprised they manage to check anything to be honest!

Thanks so much, I'm also exactly 22 weeks and 4 days today! It has been lovely telling people, everyone has been really surprised since nobody knew we were trying apart from my sister but everyone has been thrilled for us. We're not making any big announcements, just privately telling close family and friends. I've only really started to be visibly pregnant in the last couple of weeks, I wear a lot of dresses so been able to hide my bump until now, though it's definitely quite obvious now. We're pretty sure we're having a girl, we wanted to find out because it's really nice to be able to refer to her as 'she' now and is making us feel more connected to her. Glad all is going well for you and lovely that your husband was able to feel your baby kicking, ours seems to stop the second my husband puts a hand on my belly even though she'd be kicking about madly a second before, I think she's just shy! Thanks again for letting me join.

HopefulllHolly · 23/09/2024 16:31

@Everlore Awwww so we have the same due date! How exciting! Yeah my baby stops moving when he puts his hand on my tummy too - how weird! Cheeky little girls already. ☺️ When are you planning on going on Mat leave - or have you not thought that far as yet?

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Natty2 · 23/09/2024 17:34

@DippyDuck19 I'm looking at that one too and also the Bugaboo dragonfly.
Has anyone else looked at that?
It's not all terrain like the fox 5, but is a bit lighter. I'm just so petite I'm not sure which best one to go for! Love the green colour too

@HopefulllHolly glad you're feeling movement again! I'm not sure if I felt my first little flutters on Saturday night.
How did all feel for everyone the first time? I'm hoping I feel more soon! 🤞 would be reassuring whilst I wait for the next scan

@Faith2024 congratulations and welcome! Hope your scan went well this morning?

@LouP87 glad to hear your scan went well and good luck with the test tomorrow!

@Everlore welcome and congratulations! Hopefully baby girl is playing ball tomorrow but sounds like your scan before is reassuring!