BFP after IVF - the journey continues (part 2)

[HopefulllHolly]

SENSITIVE CONTENT

Continuation of previous thread for anyone with a BFP following IVF to support with anxieties and other worries that come along with pregnancy after infertility.

@AnnieStar12
@DippyDuck19
@DogMummy87
@Edf
@Fluffyted
@Leaf86
@LouP87
@Natty2
@SETTC87
@ThePeachGoose
@jas1996
@lemonyfox
@oliviagrace2307
@summerchild92

Please tag anyone else I’ve missed accidentally!

@Fluffyted Awww another little lady to add to the crew! Bet it feels more real now doesn’t it! Girls are leading on here 5-2 now! 💕

@Edf Lovely news! Congrats on your milestone achievement! Glad your little babe is doing well! I wish I still had her flexibility 🤣

@DippyDuck19 Good luck for tomorrow! Lucky it’s nice and early ☺️ Hope it does well (I’m sure it will). I have the jitters about mine on Wednesday too.

@lemonyfox Good luck for your 12 week too! Exciting!

Going to try and do my best to catch up on here! I've had a nightmare today. Been having soreness around my belly button since yesterday which has been worse today and consistent.
Tried to call my midwife- no answer- no option for voicemail. Text and got a very blunt text back to say pain in pregnancy is normal and to contact GP if it gets worse 🙄
Couldn't get a GP morning appt- called the Mama line which they said even though I'm 15+4 I'm not 16 week so to call EPU
EPU told me to take paracetomal and call GP if no better!
Managed to then see GP who was a god send, he was so helpful and really unimpressed with my midwife, especially being IVF pregnancy. He said any pain that has been worse or consistent should be scanned so now have a scan booked for Wednesday. He also managed to listen to babies heartbeat which I heard for the first time!! DH wasn't there so he's gutted!
I know I've said this before but has anyone else had shocking service from their midwife?! Am I naive being the first pregnancy that they're meant to support you!
We think we'll still keep our private gender scan for this sat- so then we can find out where we stand on boy girl stats in the group!

@Fluffyted lovely to hear another girl in the group!! I think you've reassured me to keep my private scan for this weekend when we find out too! I'm 15 + 4 now, although nervous after today's scare!

@lemonyfox congrats on your 12 weeks!! Hope all goes well tomorrow and that you've been feeling ok?

@Edf glad your little girl is doing well!!

@DippyDuck19 good luck for your 20 weeks tomorrow, another milestone reached! Love the nursery style too 🥰

@HopefulllHolly happy birthday! I think it was today?!

I'm off for my first pregnancy Pilates this evening. Hopefully help to destress after a manic day

Good luck tomorrow @lemonyfox and @DippyDuck19 hope the scans go well. Hopefully we’ll have some more lovely scan pics tomorrow :)

And congrats @Edf on a successful 20 week scan. I’ve got 17 days to wait for mine!

@Natty2 oh yeah there’s some awful midwives out there! I was just complaining on this thread last week about the horrible midwife I saw for my 16 week appointment, she made me want to cry as she was so dismissive.

That’s terrible that yours wrote such a dismissive reply, makes me angry on your behalf as it’s so irresponsible to write pregnant women off like that.
I’ve had other awful ones on the past too, I remember going back to hospital a few weeks after giving birth as my C-section scar suddenly started getting painful which can be a sign of infection or rupture and the midwife who saw me basically said “of course it hurts, what do you expect, you just had surgery”. She also assessed me in the store cupboard for some reason! Honestly if I wasn’t in post-birth state I would have made a complaint about my treatment. In the end I just discharged myself as i wasn’t taken seriously and I went to my GP instead.

But to be fair, I’ve also had some absolutely amazing midwives in my past pregnancies so it’s a bit hit-and-miss. I even remember the name of the lovely midwife who looked after me with my daughter 20 years ago! And the midwife who looked after me in my last pregnancy was incredible she came to visit us after baby was discharged and we have her a big present.

Not sure I updated after my consultant appointment last week (or maybe I did and have pregnancy brain!), but looks like they’ll book me in for a c-section around 31st Jan. He said I could do a VBAC birth if I wanted but they would only be happy if I went in to labour naturally and before 39+6, so I just think for me it’s simplest to have the planned C-section rather than wait and not know. Plus it means one week less to wait if I only have to count down to 39 weeks :)

Lovely nursery ideas on here yesterday. Has given me inspiration - I’m going to move things around and make my office into baby’s room. But need to do some DIY first. I still haven’t brought anything at all for this baby. I probably have everything I need stashed away in the loft, but for some reason I haven’t been able to get into that much detail as I think I still haven’t fully accepted it’s really happening, despite being absolutely HUGE now! Feel like I want to pass my 20 week scan and then maybe I’ll allow myself to buy some cute baby outfits.

@Fluffyted congrats on the little girl!! 🥰

My scan was today (according to ultrasound I’m 13 weeks + 1 day - it was a nuchal translucency check so they looked for certain abnormalities and all looked good. There’s a bit of a higher risk due to my age (32), but still really good results they said.

We also opted for nifty standard, so we should get more in depth results in a week or so, and also find out the gender of the baby. 🥰 Hope nifty results are even better!

Gyn. said baby was super lively, we heard the heartbeat and it was a really lovely experience. 🥰

@summerchild92 glad your scan went well and exciting you will know the sex in week!!!

Am 21 weeks today and had my anomaly scan today. But what a morning!!! Have been awake since 3am after getting up for the toilet and couldn't get back to sleep! Then went to the toilet again at 7am to find lots of blood!
Got to my scan and told the sonographer as soon as we got into the room. So she immediately found his heartbeat for me! Baby was extremely wriggly throughout the whole scan which said she is good, and doesn't look stressed or anything. All his measurements were perfect (around the 50th percentile) except his belly which is measuring above average - takes after his dad!!!
She checked the placenta and my cervix and couldn't find any cause of the bleed. She did mention sometimes the placenta can have a cut (like a cut on a finger) but will heal itself very quickly.
Half way through the scan in thought I was going to pass out and vomit! So I had to lie on my side and she had to get a fan out to cool me down 🤦🏻‍♀️ she said that usually happens to women in their 3rd trimester because of the compression to the blood vessels, trust me to be awkward!

@DippyDuck19 Ive been waiting to see how you got on! So glad everything was ok but my gosh what a mental morning for you! Hope you’re able to relax this afternoon. So pleased that little boy is all good, and measuring perfectly. 🥰🥰🥰

My anxiety is through the roof today - I am so panicky about my scan tomorrow. Thankfully I’m off work this week so having my hair done and going shopping to distract me for the day. I feel like I’m having heart palpitations though! 🙃 and thanks @Natty2 it was my birthday yesterday! ☺️

@HopefulllHolly I've called in sick this afternoon. Going to take it easy and hope everything settles!

Happy Birthday for yesterday!!! Sounds like a good plan for today to keep your mind distracted. Im sure your scan will be fine 🩷

Awww @Edf your scan pic!! 😍 so cute.
Also I love your nails!! Beautiful colours.

@lemonyfox oooohhh how exciting!!! Good luck with your 12 week scan ... such a special moment ❤️❤️ sending you lots of positive vibes.
(If you've had it already then I hope it went so well)

@Natty2 omg!!! That sounds like horrendous service!!! I'm so shocked the midwife didn't bother to help - an IVF pregnancy brings so much more anxiety & risks (to an extent). I'm so glad you saw a lovely GP who helped you & got you a scan booked in. I hope everything is ok and it's just niggling pain that's "normal".
I've only seen the midwife twice (properly) and both weren't the best experience, they both just wanted me out the door as fast as possible 🙈 but the midwife sent me a letter stating I had the early stages of pre-eclampsia and to take aspirin, which I'm allergic to. So I rang them and no answer, no call back, nothing for 2 days. So I rang the midwives at the antenatal clinic and again no answer but was an answering machine & they did ring me back 24 hours later and told me not to take the aspirin (obviously) and just wait until my Obstetrician appointment which was 2 weeks away at the time. So I spent those 2 weeks worrying my ass off. Went into the obstetrician appointment and the Dr said it was a mistake!!! And that she had no idea why the midwife sent that to me, or why the antenatal clinic didn't check my records and she said there was no signs of pre-eclampsia at all.
So god knows who that letter was meant for, hopefully they managed to pass onto the correct patient.
I'm hoping the midwife care gets better so that it's a better experience for us all!! 🤞🏼

The private scan was the best thing!! I wish I'd done mine sooner to be honest.

@AnnieStar12 you've reassured me a little about midwife care!! Maybe some of us have just been a little unlucky so far with who's seen us.
Awww I'm so glad you have a date for your c-section, I bet that feels amazing knowing exactly when your little one will be here!!

I'm leaving towards a planned c-section just because I'm becoming so anxious about the birth, but I'm not sure I will even be allowed if there is no medical reason so I'm trying to calm myself and tell myself the baby will come out some how 🤣

@summerchild92 awww I'm so glad that your scan went well!! It's so magical isn't it.
I'll never get tired of the seeing baby on the scan screen!! I'm glad all is looking good for the baby, takes so much anxiety away knowing they are growing nicely. Awww you heard the heartbeat 💓 that's amazing!!! How lovely!!

Awww that's so amazing @DippyDuck19 I'm so glad your baby is growing well & perfectly fine. But what a morning you had!!! And the funny spell at the hospital. The bleed sounds stressful but glad it was nothing to worry about. It was great timing on your scan day though!
I have no idea the size of my baby or what percentile she's on so I'll ask the midwife at my next appointment- thank you for sharing that! Your baby looks so snuggly in there!! ❤️😍

@HopefulllHolly I felt so much more anxious before the 20 week scan than I did at 12 weeks, not sure why 🙈 I'm sure yours will be totally fine & hopefully uneventful! Good luck for your scan tomorrow. Sending lots of positive vibes!!
Happy birthday for yesterday!!

How many girls and boys have we got so far?

Had my 12 week scan today and all is okay! They've brought me forwards to 12+5 so I'm due 13th March now. Phew!

Baby was being very uncooperative and they couldn't get the NT measurements, but I'm not too worried as the same thing happened in my first pregnancy and he turned out okay 😂 the photos aren't great because of the positioning but still a cute little baby head! I'm convinced it's a boy

@lemonyfox glad your scan went well and baby measuring bigger! Are you going to find out what you're having??

@HopefulllHolly hope you're doing ok? Sorry if my post earlier has made you feel more anxious! Sending lots of positive vibes for your scan tomorrow x

@DippyDuck19 yes definitely, I have so much respect for ladies who can wait!

@DippyDuck19 No not at all ☺️ I went shopping after my hair was done and then got home and fell asleep. I really have very little battery now for anything! I thought second trimester you’re meant to feel ok 🤣🤣 Usually I can shop for Britain but today I bought myself one tshirt from Zara and some Birkenstocks for winter and promptly gave up. Probably had something to do with the fact no shops stocked maternity and it was depressing trying on size XL trousers in Zara (with drawstring waist!) and they wouldn’t do up around my belly. 😂😂 I thought I could get away with it. I had kind of skimmed through previous messages and missed the bit where you were almost sick! Was that because it was hot or because of the prodding at the scan? Hope you’re ok now?! Xx

@Fluffyted Yeah I also feel much more anxious and I was incredibly anxious at 12 weeks too. Now I’m very attached to the little girl inside me that I feel squirming around and that I talk to, I don’t know how people cope finding out something is very wrong so far along (or worse). Just welled up thinking about it! I think we’re at 5 girls to 2 but I may have missed a couple - I hope not though! Funny how much girls are massively winning though! Have you watched any of the Delivering Babies programme with Emma Willis? Not to persuade you to have a vaginal birth at ALL because I think you should pick whichever is best for you and will make you most calm - but it did really help me be less fearful of natural births. It’s not dramatised like one born every minute and is so touching. New series starts on Friday too ☺️

@lemonyfox Awww congratulations on a good scan! Little healthy wriggly baby in there doing well ❤️

@Natty2 So sorry lovely I must have been distracted replying to you the other day and totally skirted over your rubbish midwife treatment. Really annoys me when your profession comes from the phrase “with woman” - like come on midwife it’s the basics to be empathetic and supportive even if you feel it’s trivial it certainly isn’t to someone who’s been through infertility. So glad your GP sorted you! How are you feeling now? If it’s any comfort I’ve had lots of uncomfortable pain around my belly button and very low down which make me anxious but so far everything’s ok. Good to go have a scan to put your mind at ease! Really difficult when you’ve never felt these pains before and are carrying very precious cargo! Hope everything is ok ❤️

@HopefulllHolly glad you had a nice day shopping. Will you have to cave and invest in some maternity wear??
I think I literally had 3 weeks of feeling normal now the tiredness has kicked in! Am just counting down to when I finish work now 😂
The sonographer thought I felt unwell during the scan because I was lying on my back compressing the blood vessels that return to blood from the legs up to the heart. She made me lie on my side and felt instantly better! So tried to do as much of the scan as she could in that position. She did say this usually happens in 3rd trimester because baby is bigger! It made me glad that I don't sleep on my back if it makes you feel that rubbish that quickly!

Had a little cry this evening. Was really hoping the scan today would let me enjoy this pregnancy. But the bleed is just a reminder that nothing is guaranteed. I think I'd feel better if I had some answers. This is the second time I've bled with no obvious cause. Now just wanting to get to 24 weeks!

@DippyDuck19 Oh bless you I’m sorry you’re feeling anxious - it must be really hard with the bleeding. And made worse that you don’t know what’s causing it. If baby boy is doing ok then that’s what you can try and focus on? Has the bleeding stopped now? Did they suggest anything if it does continue? I’d maybe take a couple of days off work and have some proper legs up rest if you can.

Thats mad that lying on your back caused that! I still catch myself waking up on my back regularly after a deep sleep - really struggling to correct it to be honest!

I have bought 2 pairs of jeans from
seraphine but nothing else maternity - and im
going to try not to. I usually like things oversized on my top half so I think I’ll be able to fit in most of my winter jumpers and definitely coats, and most other things have buttons up the front so I can wear them undone. Fingers crossed I can succeed in my plan 🤞😊 Ask me again at 30 weeks 🤣

Have you decided when you are going to start maternity leave? I think I’m going to go on annual leave from 23rd December until 10th January and then mat leave after that. Feels like very little time till then really! 🤩

@HopefulllHolly I'm hoping the lack of sleep last night isn't helping mood. A good nights sleep tonight and hopefully will feel better, providing no more significant bleeding. It's gotten lighter throughout the day. Just a tiny tinge on tissue when I wipe now. So fingers crossed 🤞🏻
Tomorrow I have a day of meetings including a review of my work pregnancy risk assessment so am going to try and make it in for that. Should be an easy day. But if I don't feel right in the morning then will call in sick again.

I'm looking forward to winter when I can wear all my baggy jumpers! I bought two pairs of maternity leggings from Amazon. They're soo comfy I live in them pretty much 😂

Am planning to start mat leave 2 weeks before my due date on 2nd Jan. I have 5 weeks of annual leave to take before then so will finish work on 29th November! Can't wait!!!

Does anyone know when you get the mat1b form?? I emailed my midwife earlier to let them know about the bleed so it's on my records and completely forgot to ask.

@DippyDuck19 Well definitely take it easy! I’m sure the bleeding is nothing at all - especially with no cramping or pain or anything. Try to get some good rest and I’m sure you’ll feel better tomorrow. ☺️ Yeah I have 5 weeks to take too but im going to carry some over so I can take it along with my accrued leave from while I’m off to be paid while I’m off work and take less unpaid leave, if that makes sense. Need to chat to HR about how much I can carry over next week really.
On the MATB1 I think you’re meant to get it at 20 weeks but when I was chatting to my community midwife she mentioned she can give it to me at my 25 week appointment - so I don’t know really! I’ll ask tomorrow at my appointment as I need it to trigger my risk assessment and formally let my work know when I’m going off. I’ll report back what they say tomorrow though! So exciting you’ll be going off so soon - that’s going to be lovely! I’ve got a mountain of work to get through before I go off which is stressing me out massively. Could really do without it! 🙃
Which leggings was it? I have lulu lemon aligne ones which are so soft and comfy but I probably need a few pairs of proper maternity ones to be honest!

@HopefulllHolly I've emailed my midwife to check about the form as I know my manager will chase tomorrow. I'll also let you know if I hear anything.

My manager wanted me to sell back 2-3 weeks of my annual leave rather than take it as I'm the only person who can do my job until my counterpart returns from Mat leave end of January. So leaving them a bit stuffed, but I don't care anymore, I just want to go off as soon as possible.

The leggings on Amazon are "CRZ"
amzn.eu/d/dPPB6bS

Definitely check with your midwife about the form, as I had my booking in appointment on Sunday (at 12 weeks) and my midwife gave me my MATB1 form then - she filled something out and it was emailed to me.

@Always28 Wow that’s highly unusual to get it at 12 weeks! It’s definitely meant to be given after 20 weeks! Are you in England? https://www.twinkl.co.uk/parenting-wiki/matb1-certificate#:~:text=How%20do%20I%20get%20a,be%20provided%20before%20this%20date.

@DippyDuck19 Thanks - will have a look tomorrow at them ☺️ Cheek of your work to tell you to sell your annual leave - ummm no!

Right off to sleep - appointment with the consultant is at 9:40 and then scan after and baby is being very wriggly tonight so I hope I can get to sleep quickly! Will let you know how it goes tomorrow 🤞🤞🤞

@HopefulllHolly oh that’s interesting - I didn’t realise that. Maybe I just have a maverick midwife 🤣. Although I also know a friend of mine got hers earlier (completely different area) so maybe they use a bit of discretion sometimes 🤷🏻‍♀️.
Good luck with your appointment and scan today. It sounds very lovely seeing the baby being wriggly (not so great having disturbed sleep though, so hope you slept ok).

I had my 12 week scan yesterday and everything was good. The baby is measuring 12+4 and was doing lots of wriggling around. I’m hoping it will feel a bit more real having reached the 12 week mark. It would be nice for some of the anxiety to ease a bit - realistically I know it won’t go completely, but really want to enjoy it too and feel excited!

I initially posted the wrong photo which still had all my name, DOB etc on it 🤦🏻‍♀️. So trying again now!

@AnnieStar12 oh no sounds like you've had some awful experiences!! I think I naively thought all midwives were very caring! Good to know there are some good ones out there
I'm meeting mine for the first time on Monday for my 16 week check up so will be interesting to see how she is in person

@summerchild92 @lemonyfox @Always28 glad your scans went well! I did feel a lot less anxiety after the 12 week scan

@DippyDuck19 what a stressful day for you! Glad all is well with baby. Has the bleeding stopped?

@Fluffyted that's dreadful too!! Can't believe the worry they would have caused you in that time. I do hope it all gets better the further along you get!

@HopefulllHolly good luck this morning! I'm in around the same time this morning too so will update later!

@Always28 glad your scan went well! What a cute pic - are the arms behind the head? he/she looks very chilled 😎

@Natty2 had another bleed this morning. Not as bad as yesterday though

@HopefulllHolly good luck today

@Natty2 @HopefulllHolly good luck ❤️❤️