IUI & Fertility in SSC

[solanks]

Hi everyone,

I've struggled to find any groups that are focussed specifically on same sex couples trying to conceive (that do not have any fertility issues).

My partner and I are currently on round three of IUI using donor sperm. The first two tries we did we attempted the natural route (so no medication and no ovulation trigger injection). We decided to go down the medicated route on our third try and are currently in the two week wait, waiting for our results today!

This whole process has been emotionally, physically and financially challenging, so much more than we ever expected, and we would love to hear from other same sex couples on this topic who are in a similar situation to ours. We want to exchange stories, offer each other support, give advice and also recommendations (as there is so much conflicting information out there and each clinic's protocols vary too, which we found bizarre).

Looking forward to hearing your stories; be they successful, unsuccessful, or even if you are completely new to this journey ✨

How are you all doing?

I am in the TWW and it’s proving very challenging 😔

Aww I hope the TWW goes as okay as it can do, never nice is it. Is there anything making it worse? I hope you've not got too long left to wait. Good luck 🥰🤞

Hey @Quickdraw23 the TWW is a special kind of stress isn't it. I know there's a huge range on what people do to get through it - either total distraction or lean in to all the potential baby things. It's so personal. I'm more in favour of the first one, keeping busy... but I found I was expending so much energy trying not to think about it all, it was kinder to just sort of let it happen and be distracted and just let other things take a bit of a backseat. How are you getting on?

@Quickdraw23 Oh the TWW is so very hard, my thoughts are with you and your partner and all my fingers and toes are crossed for you hoping for a positive outcome ❤️

Little update from us, unfortunately at our 7w scan today there was no heartbeat so it is an early loss for us this time. We had a scan two days ago which was similar so we have had some time to process.

Sending so much luck and love to you all x

Oh my gosh how awful, I'm so sorry 😔 There are no words. Just know that I'm thinking of you both. Please let us know if there is anything that we can do to support 💕 xx

@Twomumfamily so dreadfully sorry to hear your update 😔 I hope you are both doing as ok as possible and can find comfort wherever possible xxx

Thanks for the kind words folks. I have been going for the distraction method big time, which I think is the right approach for me.

I came down with a cold the day after embryo transfer, and even though the clinic and the internet say that a cold is unlikely to have any impact on the outcome I’m still feeling fairly pessimistic. Suspect it is my brain being defensive. Just a few days to go and a big event this weekend to help with distraction.

@Twomumfamily I'm sorry to hear that. Take care of yourself.
@Quickdraw23 I'm following for tips on the two week wait, as we are going ahead with a transfer with my next cycle, in a few weeks.
Anything I should eat/do/not eat etc now in the few weeks leading up to transfer?

@Twomumfamily I'm sorry for your news. Hopefully your clinic is being supportive for any next steps you want to take x

im not really aware of any dietary or activity restrictions in run up to transfer, I don’t think there’s any solid evidence supporting anything in particular. My clinic didn’t give me any except max two caffeinated drinks per day and 4 units of alcohol a week, and that was in the run up to my stim cycle. I’ve just stuck to those recommendations and tried to eat a generally balanced diet. Post transfer I haven’t had any alcohol at all.

Thank you everyone, the clinic have been very supportive during this tricky time and my wife has been an absolute trooper, I am so very proud of her.

I am really hoping for positive outcomes for you both @Quickdraw23 and @rivierliedje and will look forward to reading your updates when you are ready.

xx

@Twomumfamily how are you and your wife doing? Been thinking of you!

i hope yore all doing well.

I have an update. I got a positive pregnancy test just under two weeks ago, the first ever one, after a fourth embryo transfer. My partner has likened it to playing a video game and making it to the next level!

predictably, partially due to my personality and partially due to the history, my brain is not allowing me to enjoy this at all, and I am pushing through to the viability scan. My partner is being very patient with me bless her, I feel awful because I know she wants to let go and really start thinking about the future.

Naively, it hadn’t even occurred to me that the wait between a positive test and the scan could be even more agonising than the TWW itself!

Amazing news, congratulations!! Hopefully the wait for the first scan flies by and all goes well. But completely get that it'll be dragging and it's an anxious time. Keep up updated if you can 🥰

@Quickdraw23 What a bloody wonderful update. So happy for you and your parter, I know you have had a journey to get here. I know this wait is very scary (and feels like forever), I hope you are able to take each day as it comes, I am sending all the positive vibes your way. We are just a message away during this anxious wait!

Thank you for checking in, we are doing okay, we think it has fully passed now and are beginning to think about trying again. I think we will swap back to me now I am healed, to give my wife some extra healing time. Seeing your update has given me hope after my previous failed transfer ❤️

Congratulations @Quickdraw23 !
Good luck @Twomumfamily
I can't imagine how nervous and anxious everyone must be, I'm anxious just waiting for my period to start so we can get this transfer cycle going. It's a silly concern, but I didn't want to be 35 during a first pregnancy and we are getting very close to that now.

@Twomumfamily im glad to hear your update and that you and your partner are doing ok. Also pleased to hear that the update was helpful for you, as I didn’t want to be insensitive to what had happened for you x

@rivierliedje hope you are doing ok in your wait! It’s such a lot of waiting isn’t it?
I understand your thoughts about the 35 milestone! I am not quite 35 but will be by the time the baby arrives if everything goes to plan, and I was always hoping to get in under the wire. I think it’s something about knowing I will be referred to as a “geriatric” on the Labour or wards that annoys me 😂 but my partner pointed out that it’s really not uncommon for people in their mid-late 30s to have babies now.

i am pushing through. My symptoms are fluctuating which is unsettling but i think you really can’t judge on how things are going from symptoms.

@Quickdraw23 How are you getting on? Your scan must be coming up soon, been thinking of you.

@rivierliedje Hope you are getting on okay too, and are starting your cycle soon!

Also looking forward to these updates! But how are you and your wife doing? Sending lots of love 😊

Awh thank you for checking in, we are doing much better. My Wife has recovered physically from the miscarriage (emotionally I think it will take a little longer of course). We have now met with our fertility clinic and will do a proper update once we have something solid.

@strawberrylaces12 How are you doing? Have you met with your clinic recently regarding next steps? x

That's really positive but yes of course it will take time, keep looking after each other. That sounds good about next steps!

Yeah we met with our clinic within a week or two of the failed cycle, think our appointment was about mid August. I've not really been updating anything in here as I didn't want to get my hopes up etc. But...

Update from me is that I had an egg collection on Friday and we are so pleased that yesterday we learnt the news we have 6 embryos in the freezer to use when we are ready. 3 are top quality apparently which is good to know but of course not a given that they will take. SUCH a huge improvement from our last cycle which was total failed fertilisation. We used Artificial Oocyte Activation with calcium ionophore which seemed to help with the fertilisation and also changed the donor which may have helped but who knows!

For now we are recovering from the very stressful time of waiting for updates 😂 also I'm recovering physically but definitely getting there 😊 I'm at higher risk of ohss but so far seem to have avoided it last time and this time 🤞

@strawberrylaces12 Oh my gosh that is bloody amazing! What a lovely update, really happy for you and your partner.

That must have been such an anxious few days waiting to hear about the embryos but 6 on ice is an absolutely fab result. Do you have any plans for your transfer or are you taking a moment after a very stressful few months?

Fingers crossed you don't suffer from OHSS, but sounds like you are recovering well. Well done for doing 2 retrievals in almost as many months, you really are a trooper!

Thank you! My wife and I are honestly shattered from the waiting for the updates. The wait to find out if any had fertilised was honestly painful, they didn't ring until gone midday on Saturday we were pulling our hair out 😅 but out of 21 mature eggs (24 retrieved) we got 10 fertilised eggs which is a bit on the low side but obviously so much better than before. Then we expected a much larger drop off to embryo but very pleased with our 6 in the freezer - as we were told usually only about 45% make it to day 5 and I thought knowing our luck it would be lower than that.

We're just going to see how we feel in the next few weeks and go from there. I just feel like we're in such a better position now than before. Yeah 2 egg collections in 2 months (an admin cycle in between) has been a lot. But honestly I think if I had waited too long I'd have just been wondering what the outcome would be and worried the same outcome would happen again, if that makes sense. I think if the same outcome had happened then I would have had to draw a line under it and my wife would think about having a go. But now we're just so pleased with this outcome 😊

@solanks @ProfessorplumBilliardroomCandlestick

How are you both getting on? Must be getting close to due dates or beyond? The time is flying so I can't quite remember how long it's been!