Anybody having FET July or August?

[Rtmhwales]

Just waiting for my next cycle to start after a freeze all cycle. It should've been here last week but seems to be delayed so I feel like it's just a ticking clock. This will be my first FET, first ever transfer actually.

Anybody else in the same boat and want to keep me company?

@coops0406 thanks for explaining about the embryos, wow its amazing what they can do these days. When will your transfer be, do you know yet?

My OTD is 4th August, hoping to hold out til then if I can.

@Coops0406 no, not 20 frozen euploids (I wish!)

I think I posted my stats somewhere above but we ended up with:

45 eggs retrieved
30 eggs mature
24 fertilized
21 made it to 5 day blasts that were frozen
2 made it to 6 day blasts that were frozen

From there we tested the first 8 because they're £385 per embryo and unfortunately we aren't rolling it in.

2 were euploid
3 were mosaic
2 were aneuploid (discarded)
1 wasn't able to be tested, not sure why.

So of the frozen remaining 20, 3 are mosaic, 1 is euploid and the remaining 16 are untested.

I'd like two babies so I'm being ridiculously optimistic that both euploids will take (separately cycles), ha. If not we will have to reevaluate if we want to test further ones or just put them in untested.

I had three miscarriages in 11 months so we tested because somethings clearly going wrong somewhere. I started my cycle the day I turned 34 and froze them all obviously. No PCOS - the fertility doctor put me on the lowest dose of hormones possible and I was a super responder. He was blown away. I was absolutely miserable throughout but at least I shouldn't have to do it again in theory. I really truly don't think I could do it again. Everyone else is so brave!

@Rtmhwales wow! Just wow! I literally have never seen anything like it! And no pcos! You definitely shouldn't have to go through it again! I can only imagine how painful the whole thing must have been for you with that many eggs!
Oh gosh, tell me about it! It was £1500 each cycle to test so did it on 2 cycles, then £315 and embryo of which there were 7 left to test! 🤦🏾‍♀️ but it got rid of 4 that definitely wouldn't have worked for us.
Fingers crossed your euploids come good for you! 🤞🏾

@Roobles79 my transfer day is your OTD day! So you are a nearly a week into your 2WW? My OTD is always 11dp5dt so that will be the 15th August

morning all, sorry for the radio silence the last couple of days. I’ve had a very stressful time at work (they’ve decided to change the wfh policy which, having moved house in the last 2years and got a dog on the understanding the previous arrangement was permanent just doesn’t work for me. And with the ivf it’s not an ideal time to be looking for a new job?)

anyway, how is everyone?
@thislittlebird im really sorry to hear about your progesterone levels. When I bled on a previous transfer (after getting a positive) they asked me to continue with meds (which feels so hard when you just want to move on) and I asked if there was any point and they were very insistent that there’s different types of bleeding and we’re insistent there was still a chance. Really poor of your clinic to have not tested you earlier though given your history. Xxx

@Roobles79 how are you getting on? Have you kept away from testing? I’m doing ok thanks. I caved and tested early. I got a faint positive (which is brilliant) but the line is possibly lighter today than yesterday - trying to not get too bogged down but Km obsessively testing. Will keep plodding on (and try and ignore the tests) and keep hoping for the best.

@WildSheep how are you doing? I saw you get an early faint positive too? Xx

@Agapanthus13 thanks, I'm technically still taking the drugs, but I feel like I can stop now. I have had three days of negative tests now, i don't think it's changing. And my migraine has tried to come on, it's so frustrating.

That is stressful! What have your job said then vs now? How far have you moved? Your job situ reminds me of my own. We want to move away to where my husband is from, but I need a fully remote job to do that, and I'm hesitant to give this job up because of the excellent maternity package. I feel stuck between job - ivf - move - ivf - job - move. I could look around for a job now, but we have another transfer coming up in September theoretically. If I apply for a job in august, and somehow got it, I'm looking at late September/October before it would start, and that seems like exactly the wrong timing. I've been going round and round like this for years. And the house move, I'm thinking we should start gearing up for that. If we decided to sell in September, we'd probably be looking for a house in the area we want to be in for a quite a while. If there's 6-12 months after we list the house, I feel like that's enough to get more IVF done during, stay in our current jobs and worry about them when we are nearer to actually relocating. I'm so torn over all this, IVF is such an additional strain, financially and job wise.

@agapanthus13 ooh that's fab, tentative congratulations, hope that line keeps getting stronger for you. No I haven't tested yet, work and life is keeping me busy so I'm trying to hold off, because it would throw me into a tailspin I think! How are you feeling? That's frustrating about the job news, what job do you do, and is there much about you could change to to be remote working full time? Xx

@Agapanthus13 missed the part about your test, fingers crossed for you

@thislittlebird & @Roobles79 I only wfh 2days a week atm and they’re saying ‘I’m too fundamental’ to the business so going forward I can only wfh 1day a week by prior agreement. Which I fundamentally disagree with but they’re impossible once they’ve made their mind up. It’s more our dog, I don’t know what I could do with him, my commute is 1.5hrs each way when trains are running so to do my most basic hours I leave at 6.30am and get home at 6.30pm so pup school won’t have him for such long hours- plus due to the 5years ttc he really is like our baby, so I want the best for him. On the other hand, IF my positive line does progress, with a 3month notice period trying to start a new job whilst 3months pregnant will be tricky / I’m not sure I’d be employable?! I’m not sure if it’s my meds / hormones but it feels like a massive deal and causing me stress. I’ve been in my current job for 10years + and they feel like my family, it’s really hurt me that they’ve made this decision despite my objections. Xx

@Roobles79 I’m so impressed you haven’t tested, good on you! I wish I had your Will power xx sounds like you’re doing a great job taking it day by day xx

@thislittlebird I’m really sorry your tests have been negative, it’s so heartbreaking when it doesn’t work. Do you know what your next steps will be or are you just taking in what’s going on atm?
totally get your frustration / stress over whether to move or not. I think we chatted on another thread about it? How far would you be moving? Would you have to change clinic too? As you said, it takes time for the whole house move to go through etc, but it is a stressful experience usually. Would you consider selling and renting there first just to break the house chain? I feel like I’ve put so much of my life on hold for Ivf over the years, it’s really sad x

@Agapanthus13 Ah, tentative congrats! Hope the line keeps darkening for you!! That is so annoying that your work has put you in such an awkward position, especially as you say you've been there so long and know them so well. I had a job offer recently but decided to turn it down, partly due to the uncertainty of what would happen if this transfer did work in terms of maternity allowance, I wouldn't be entitled to any occupational maternity payments. It's so difficult to know how things are going to pan out and how the timings would be, you don't want to put your life on hold forever but at the same time, there's so many factors to consider.

We recently moved (twice technically) as we decided we couldn't just keep waiting for something to happen and there is never a right time. Things ended up really awkward timing wise as I ended up having my first cycle and EC while we were staying with family so that wasn't ideal! Worked out in the end now though and we're all settled.

@Roobles79 You have more willpower than I do! How have you been feeling? I think I would have gathered that I was working this week as it would have kept me busy, I find my mind drifting constantly to think about the what ifs... I tested this morning BFN, no sign of anything whatsoever. I'm only 7dp5dt but feel like that is going to be the outcome this time around. My OH is disappointed too, he hasn't said so just I can tell, we've both been trying to stay positive about it all but I think we were both getting a bit too excited about it maybe finally being our time...

@Agapanthus13 1 day?! That seems like BS. I'm definitely not fundamental to the business, I'm mostly at home these days but will have to go in a bit more from September. The reason we haven't got a dog is because I'm worried they'll make me go back more and we don't have anyone nearby who can help. Might make sense to stay put if the line darkens.

I just had a relative give me advice after I told them it didn't work again and....I cannot deal with this. Why don't people realise I know more about this than they do? Sigh.

I'm going to do some tests, but we're not high earners, we have to be sensible about what we spend with private IVF looming. I've requested a follow up consultation, I'll request to transfer our last two embryos, probably September and that's out NHS round done.

I've ordered a microbiome test but I can't really afford to throw everything at it, we need the money for the IVF itself :/ I'm also worried about the finances of moving, it's been 9 years since we bought this place, I have no idea how much moving costs these days. Everything is more complicated by the ivf not working/not getting pregnant naturally like most people. We would have to change clinic, but we'll be changing in a couple of months anyway. Will just have to get another London clinic (probably Lister for the access package) and hope most of the treatment is done while the sale is ongoing? It's hard to get my head round the logistics, the cost, how we'll make it all work and then what the hell we would do with our jobs. Couldn't afford to rent tbh. Our mortgage is a third or a quarter of the price of rent there, we need that money for the ivf. It's giving me a headache typing all the issues out lol.

@thislittlebird try not to send yourself crazy stressing yourself out with all the options, you’ve got enough to deal with right now lovely xx Were also looking to move but I’m convinced prices are going to reduce so holding out a bit, but on the flip side mortgages are going up. On the dog front, it’s certainly been a lot of work, so I reckon waiting till you’re settled out near family is a pretty good plan. on the financial side, private ivf is eye watering. We’re with lister on an access package and I find them great, but there were certainly more cost effective options out there (ABC I think off the top of my head). But you still have 2more embryos so you might not even need to worry about private treatment. Sending a big hug your way x

@Rosemary121 you’re totally right, if you have enhanced maternity pay in your current position it’s certainly something to take in to consideration. Mine is basic statutory which sucks, but I’ve always been aware of it so I’ve kind of just accepted. That’s tough on the staying with family whilst have treatment, poor you xx I’m super unsociable afte doing my jabs 🤣
sorry to read your test was negative this morning. There was a lady I followed on IG who didn’t get a positive until d8, and went on to have a healthy boy - that’s always stuck in my head that there is hope! But I know what you mean about having that feeling like it’s just not happening - I think it’s a way to protect ourselves too? keep plodding on and try not to give up hope yet xx

@Rosemary121 so sorry about the negative test, but... don't lose hope yet, think we are only 6dp5dt at the moment as they count transfer day as 0? so still mega early days? And like @agapanthus13 says some people don't get a result until a few days later. So I'm still keeping my fingers crossed for you. How many embryos have you got left just in case?

I am not testing because I haven't accounted for dealing with the fall out this week if that makes sense, I'm just keeping busy, and my partner is very by the book so if I tested he would be like, why... And I'd have to go into explaining it all and then there would be lots of ifs and buts, and I'd still have to take the drugs, so I'd rather wait until the 4th, but that's obviously such a long time now! I am feeling okay, a bit lightheaded and dizzy at times. How are you, feeling physically?

How are you feeling @agapanthus13 have you had any symptoms?

Ugh job and house moving decisions are all so tricky and nothing straightforward. We do end up putting our lives on hold for ivf don't we. Sometimes when I'm feeling overwhelmed about a decision, I just let things play out a bit and then something changes and the decision is easier to make somehow. I'm not sure that makes any sense whatsoever. These hormones are definitely giving me brain fog.

How are you doing @Saltisford?

Xx

@wildsheep how are you today? And the anxiety? Hope you are managing to build in some time for you. The anxiety ivf brings is something else.

Has anyone tried counselling?

Hope everyone is taking good care of themselves x

@coops0406 ooh 4th August it is for us both! Not long til your transfer 😊

@Rosemary121 sorry, realise you are right, and my maths wrong, we are 7dp5dt today 🙃xx

@Agapanthus13 There was no way to hide it when living with others! So glad to have our own place back as it makes the rest of the process easier. I don't like the pressure of people asking how things are going all the time. Yeah I think sometimes you just know, I had a gut feeling a couple of days ago. I'll test again sometime at the weekend and then next week to let the clinic know. Just hope we can move on quickly as we had a 4 month wait for a follow up appointment last time... How are you feeling in general? Your transfer was a week ago today right but I think your OTD is earlier than mine?

@Roobles79 I will test again in a few day time but I have to admit my hopes have gone right down today. I have two more left but they're both poor quality so I'll probably ask for both to be transferred. I'm 31 next week so they may not let us, but we've been trying for almost 5 years so I hope they'll take that into account... we'll see! I totally understand the waiting for OTD date before testing, for me I almost just wanted an indication of anything working, even if it didn't last, desperation I guess! I'm feeling Ok physically, a bit bloated and tired but otherwise not too badly. How about you? We haven't tried counseling, we have been offered but I think there's a long wait for that too..no surprise there! Have you tried it or been offered it?

@Rosemary121 I have tried counselling, basically because we had a cancer diagnosis which threw us into ivf and we didn't really process the cancer stuff. It was helpful, but only to an extent. I think it would be good to do it as a couple.

I'm so sorry it looks like this one didn't work out. I hope you are feeling okay and not too deflated. The other two embryos sound promising, I wouldn't worry about the grading, I have heard a lot of it is subjective and not really an indication of much, because they don't know what naturally conceived embryos look like under a microscope! And maybe a lot of them wouldn't be very good looking embryos under the microscope! If they are good enough to be frozen I would focus on that, They wouldn't have frozen them otherwise. Do they know what the cause of the infertility is? Xxx look after yourself x

@Rosemary121 the time before last I contacted my clinic and asked if I could do a back to back transfer without having a consultation would that be an option? Although there are pros and cons to doing that. Is it nhs nhs treatment your having atm? 4months is a long time to have to wait, and I personally find the waiting the hardest bit. Similarly on the grading, I don’t think it makes much difference. I’ve had pretty high quality, perfect looking embryos fail - ideally they’re just looking for a blastocysts I think.
im doing ok thanks. I’m not sure if I mentioned to you but I tested early and got a faint positive which is great, but I haven’t seen any progression the last couple of days. Tbh I think I’m still massively effected from when I had my chemical before, I must have done 5or so tests today (crazy I know). On the symptom front I don’t have much to report, I’ve been massively looking out for and signs but tbh I’ve had a couple of headaches, and a twinge in my ovaries or something possibly, nothing out of the ordinary. How about you? Xxx

@Rosemary121 sorry realised I spoke to you this am about it, my brain feels frazzled! Xx

Morning, I am really feeling like my period due, anyone else? Got all the symptoms, headache, tiredness, cramps and dull aching. Feel like I should do a test to put my mind at rest but terrified, what do you think? What's the best day to test?

@Roobles79 Yes, I feel so crampy and I'm spotting too. Still have a positive test but I can't decide whether to contact my clinic and tell them. OTD is tomorrow. I have a feeling they'll just say "it's normal" but I'm paranoid I'm not getting enough progesterone or something. I'm NHS so it's a bit rough and ready to say the least. Once I test positive at home the next time they want to see me is 5 weeks after transfer for a scan. No blood tests etc in the meantime

Do you have a day in mind when you might test? I have my fingers crossed for you.

@wildsheep good news on the positive test. How many progesterone are you on? Could you ring the clinic anyway and let them know you are concerned that it may be a lack of progesterone? I would. Especially as its a Friday and you don't want to worry all weekend. Keep us posted.

The cramps are coming and going for me. And a sort of dull ache. Just like period pain. I am feeling like my period is trying to come but the drugs are holding it off!

My partner says don't test yet because it will be all confusing lol. X