IVF Scotland - thread 4

[2mumlife]

Hi everyone,

Started a new thread for the Scotish ladies

@LouScot
@Scirocco
@MrsTMcB
@florafoxtro
@Hopewishprayer
@ScottishRach
@Kamiros
@LT103
@itsmschanandlerbong
@connal

Please @ anyone I missed!

@BorisKarloff Welcome! Sorry to hear about your MMC. I only ever got 1 egg on my own cycles, which both times somehow made it to day 5 but had more mixed results with my first 2 donor egg collections (which should give better results in theory) We've had 3 day 5 cells make it on day 6 rather than day 5 but they still made it. Hoping for a good outcome for you today.

How is everyone doing? This is a bit random but has anyone been struggling with existing friendships while going through this. I'm finding it really hard being around people just now. I'm coping with this new cycle, working a fairly stressful job full time, just about getting in some exercise and after that I just can't "people". I find trying to meet up with friends really stressful. Also I know I'm not the centre of the world, just because I'm going through this but I find some of the things they complain about really insignificant (I'm talking period pain, post-holidays blues - not money worries, relationship issues etc.) but I know that's really unfair - if it matters to them I should care. How do you ask for space to deal with all this without totally detroying your friendships?

@Kamiros

Thanks so much for your reply. I know I should be thankful there is a glimpse of hope. I think I’m just finding the waiting and the mad rollercoaster hard going. Tomorrow is transfer day so hoping they survive :)

I didn’t know they waited till day six? Do they freeze on that day rather than transfer?

In answer to your question regarding friendships, I too have been finding it hard to be around anyone. I’m finding it difficult to be happy for other people at the moment which makes me feel absolutely hellish. Two of my cousins are pregnant and interacting with them feels like torture. I hate feeling this way. I’ve kind of locked myself away in a little bubble. OH and I go and do things but I’m not ready for social situations either.

@BorisKarloff For mine they were freezing them (clinic is in Spain) and they needed to be expanded Blasts. I think it was an early blast at day 5 so they would have transferred it had I been out there. I'm not sure what other clinics do though.

The whole journey is tough. I'm glas I'm not the only one who feels like that. I'm on round 6 and it's the first I've really felt this way. I've managed to be positive for so long. My cousin fell pregnant the same time as I did naturally 2 years ago (after 3 years trying, I had already booked ivf appointment) but lost mine at 6 weeks. I love her little girl but yeah it still breaks my heart.

@Kamiros yip, I want to scream sometimes and be say "stop bloody moaning". A friend who knows about the cancelled IVF and how bleak my odds are told me how lucky I am to live alone, to do whatever I want the other day...she genuinely meant well but still hurt. I have been trying to "be thankful and feel gratitude" sometimes but often I think it's total nonsense!! I've got another friend going through secondary infertility and I know it's painful for many people but I want to scream "know your audience". I'm trying to keep friendly from a distance I guess with most people just now in the hope that the friendships are still there in when I'm able to be around more.

I'm actually away just now for a week getting some sunshine and it's lovely, I chose an adult only hotel and have had a few drinks at times. I've literally not drunk for the entire year "in preparation" but figured that even though I I start a new cycle as soon as I get my next period it can't be that harmful - what do people think?? I'm talking literally 2 glasses of wine max a day and some days none, and only while I'm away, I'll stop again as soon as I get back.

Wow @Kamiros - 6 rounds sounds hard going. I’m really sorry to hear of you loss. It’s such a cruel thing to happen, especially after we’ve been trying for so long.

I hope very much that everything works out for you x

@LouScot It's definitely a hard balance. I think its important to be positive but also sometimes we just need to be able to say actually this sucks and I want some time just to feel that. Being away sounds lovely, we're definitely going away if this round doesn't work. I think if having a few drinks will help you relax, enjoy the good things in life and therefore do you more good than harm, I wouldn't worry about it.

@BorisKarloff Thank you, you too.

Hi ladies and welcome @BorisKarloff i hope you have some good updates on your embryos and a smooth transfer tomorrow! I’ve never got to transfer so don’t have any expertise sadly but I wish you all the very best!

Oh @Kamiros what you said could literally have come out of my mouth! I have struggled the whole time TTC trying to maintain some friendships. I don’t feel most understand and I think when I give friends updates it’s very clinical and the process so they don’t fully get the emotional impact of it - which I struggle with most. I have a friend who has 3 children and constantly moans about them, and very much has the toxic positivity vibe. Everything she says rubs me up the wrong way so I avoid talking to her. I constantly have to repeat things I’ve already told her cos she doesn’t pay attention or take it in. I just don’t think people get it, at all.

Last week I just had so much anger, and hated people who have happy lives. I know everyone has their own things going on, but infertility is huge and such a struggle. My best friend got engaged and is happily thinking of wedding plans, we also recently got engaged but I can’t even begin to think of wedding plans given we’re away to do 3 more rounds of ivf! It’s a horrible feeling but also I know it’s normal so we need to give ourselves a break i guess.

@LouScot lovely to hear you are on holiday, and yes have that wine, and enjoy! We need to live and have some time off, I really hope you come home feeling a bit more refreshed and well rested!

We start stims tomorrow, go down to Manchester Thursday, with first monitoring scan Friday! Booked a wee house close by for 10 nights and I’m taking the entire time off work, really hopeful I can try and be less stressed this cycle and just enjoy some time reading, walking the dog etc. When do you head to spain @Kamiros xxx

@HJen22 oh that sounds encouraging about Manchester, lots of luck for it, hopefully the change of scenery will be good and let you chill a little. My acupuncturist said to make sure I laughed a lot during my cycle -i didn't, at all, but will make an effort next cycle. I know ladies conceive in war zones and under huge stress but I still think for most of us relaxation and chilling is best !! xx

@LouScot i stopped for 3 months before collection but we went away on holiday there for a week a month before transfer and I decided just to enjoy it!!! This whole thing is so hard trying to work out what to do for the best

@HJen22 so wxciting that this is you starting stims again!! The clinic sounds great so fingers crossed for you!!!

im somehow 10 weeks today. We had a private scan last week and could see fingers and toes. I cried again!!! I’m a nightmare. Booking in appt with midwife this morning so it’s suddenly all becoming very real and scary!! Trying not to tel everyone in work until my 12 week scan which is annoyingly 13+3 but I’m so bloated and exhausted it’s getting hard not to notice something going on.

@LT103 so delighted that everything went well last week, 10 weeks is great and hopefully the time will fly in until your next scan x

@LouScot I stopped drinking for 9 months on the lead up to our first cycle and then allowed myself a few after the first failed cycle, after the second I had a total break and just tried to live a little again. So don't feel bad about allowing yourself some time off and to enjoy some drinks at all! Mental health is just as important.

Thank you - yeah I am hoping a change of scenery does help. It's been a lot to organise but my patient coordinator has been amazing and I feel more at ease now that we've our accommodation and scan booked, we had to wait until my period came to know when to go down / when first scan would be!

@LT103 thank you! Can't lie I'm pretty scared after two completely disastrous cycles but i am trying to stay hopeful and knowing we're doing 3 cycles I hope will put a little less pressure on the first one. How lovely you seen fingers and toes ❤️ sorry to hear you're uncomfortable and exhausted,
Hopefully that eases off soon and it becomes a bit more enjoyable x

@BorisKarloff I hope everything went ok with transfer. I find the wait between retrieval and day 3/day 5 updates unbearable.

@Kamiros I hope that all is going well with your donor

I have stated stims again yesterday for round 4, I also started a new job 🙈
due to the shortage of the nasal spray I’ve been given something else to take in form of an injection- great another daily injection! 😂 - I know this doesn’t affect stimulation but slightly worried it may impact in some way the egg quality?

@HJen22 Thanks, I definitely feel less alone knowing I'm not the only one feeling that way, its just a tough cycle for me this time I think (and I thought donor cycle would be easier!)

@LT103 So happy to hear things are still going well.

@Hopewishprayer Thank you - just waiting to hear, should hear something by Monday at the latest. Very nervous.

Hope everyone is doing ok - we've got this!

@Hopewishprayer

Thanks for asking. I’ve been very up and down recently but currently on day two after my transfer. I was crying all morning of the transfer as I was positive they’d call and cancel. Got there and they said they had a wee 2BB to be popped back in. I was completely shocked and very very thankful. After such a massive drop off from our 10 fertilised I just thought that was us done and maybe being 41 was the reason. I got a happy call the next day too to say another wee hatching blast caught up and will be frozen so I feel better knowing I have a possible plan B.

I am going out of my mind though wondering if it will work. Going to try and go for a walk.

How about you. Where are you in this insane journey?

@BorisKarloff Fantastic news. Everything crossed for you.

@BorisKarloff that is lovely news!! Fingers crossed for a nice quick 2ww for you!!

My donor going in for egg collection on Saturday so I'm going to be on edge now until we hear on Sunday how many fertilised eggs we have. Just going to keep sending out all the love in the world to her.

@BorisKarloff thats great news and another to freeze is even better, just try to occupy yourself with nice things over next 2 weeks.

I am just starting round 4 (1st round of 7 eggs had nothing to transfer, 2nd round MMC at 9 weeks and 3rd one embryo for transfer that didn’t stick - this is our last nhs funded cycle (1st was self funded) so I’m not sure what we will do if this round fails.

@Kamiros that’s great one step closer, hoping for some good eggs 🤞🏻

@Kamiros @LT103

Thanks very much both. My anxiety is intense at the moment but think it might be exasperated by the horrible Progesterone pessaries. Out of all the drugs I’ve been taking for IVF, these are by far the worst! @Kamiros All the luck in the world for the egg collection on Saturday and massive happy congratulations @LT103 On being 10 weeks :)

@Hopewishprayer

Thanks so much. Booked in for acupuncture today so hoping getting stabbed will help chill me out 😂

I’m really sorry to hear you had a MMC. Such a horrible cruel thing to happen. I had mine at 9 weeks too ❤️

I really hope this will be your successful cycle x

Hi all. So we have heard today that we have 2 5BBs frozen. They are both from DHs sperm, not the donor. They decided on the day that the quality etc. looked good so they would try it. They had previously indicated that there might be an undetected genetic issue with DH so I'm a little bit nervous and wish they'd called to ask first as I'd have said to do the 50/50 as discussed but I'm trying to just take the win and trust them.

Hope everyone is well.

@Kamiros that's fab news you have 2 great quality embryos in the freezer ❄️❄️ I am however sorry to hear that they didn't consult you prior to not doing 50/50 with your OHs and donor like discussed. I know it's very hard to always look at it from both sides but I guess just try and trust the Drs and their decision. Are you at home or in Spain just now?

We have just done egg collection today for our first mild ivf cycle down at create in Manchester. We came down cycle day 4, I had monitoring scans and bloods on day 5, 8, 9 and 10. We got 4 eggs today and it was such a better experience, deeply sedated and don't remember a thing. After our previous two cycles I am so chuffed we got 4 and I am hoping for a good fertilisation update tomorrow 🙏🏻 we are doing a 3 cycle package before any potential transfer. Heading home tomorrow which I'm looking forward to x

How is everyone else doing? I hope well x

@HJen22 That's amazing news, 4 is great! Glad it was a better experience all round.

No we're at home. DH froze sperm the last time and they've used that. I know, I'm a little disappointed but I do trust them.

@Kamiros oh yeah sorry so they did! I know, it's a hard enough process and when things don't go how you expect or plan it's difficult. Would testing tell if there were any genetic issues?

Thank you ❤️ I was so so scared we'd get no eggs like last time. And it wasn't plain sailing (is it ever!?) as from the first scan I had one dominant follicle so we ended up waiting for the other 3. I double triggered and also had a few double doses of cetroride/fyremadel and a low 150ui dose of bemfola this time. The staff were all amazing. The next few days are daunting; I so badly want to come away from this cycle with something in the freezer ❄️ they have said the aim to freeze something day3 and then would leave any others to day5 so fingers crossed 🤞🏻

@HJen22 Everything crossed for you. They've done every test that exists and nothing showing but doctor thought maybe there was something they couldn't see. No way of knowing unless we test the embryos but we're not going to at this stage.