Weight loss for IVF 2021/2022

[WeightlossKin]

I need to lose three stone to qualify for IVF. I've got one to lose for my referral and two more after that for treatment.
Creating this for myself and for others who might want to buddy up!

I also call bullshit on that 😂 I know we get plateaus in weight loss but that seems like a hell of one if its meant to last that long...
I think exercise can make a difference, but more from a physiological point that caloric point. Like the more muscle you've got, the strong you are and the more calories your body burns naturally. So it's good to do weights, because you're helping your body be more efficient in the long run. But i think unless you're working out for hours a day, it doesn't necessarily burn more on that day enough to fully contribute to weight loss if that makes sense? I'm still a big advocate of working out for mental health reasons more than anything - I definitely feel better when I work out.
I've had an okay week food wise, did have a bit of a blip when I scoffed chocolate but feel justified in doing so because aunt flow decided to come along a week and a half early which has most definitely thrown me!
How's your week going?

Yes up to 12 weeks I really unreasonable isn't it? Although tbf I'm not that far off since I made any real progress 😩 so even if it is true I'm coming to the end of it. You're right about the more muscle you have the higher tour metabolism etc. I agree about mental health and exercise too.
I was listening to something about PCOS and exercise too and that even though it doesn't really make a difference to weight loss (unless you're doing loads as you say) it does actually make a difference to how your body responds to insulin which is a big factor in ovulation. So that's interesting! And matches up to the fact that my ovaries do seem to behave better with more exercise. I've really upped my exercise since Xmas so will be interesting to see how long my cycle is this time as my last one was 50ish days.
Well done staying mostly on track! Much harder with a period, especially a surprise one. Try not to let it derail you too much! I do find my need for sugar goes through the roof when AF arrives. Are you still TTC naturally whilst waiting to be ready for IVF?

My week is okay. I think I've been really on track and dedicated. Apart from one day I've been really food organised and have cut right back on snacking. Fingers crossed for some movement on the scales on Sunday 😣

That makes sense about the impact exercise would have on ovulation and how it might affect your cycles.
We're not obsessively ttc while we wait, but definitely still trying. So I'm not doing ovulation tests or anything but I do keep track and it's not like like we've started using contraception while we wait, no point!
I'm trying not to let this early period derail me completely but it's hard when all I want to do is comfort eat because it's been such a surprise and I feel so crappy. Gunna get a load of healthy prep done tomorrow so I can stay on track over the weekend.
I really hope you see a pleasant surprise on the scales on Sunday! I'm sure you will though!

Yeah we're not obsessively TTC (or so I convince myself until I start crying at my periods arrival). I have to track roughly my ovulation otherwise it's very frustrating on CD50 when I don't know if it'll ever arrive 😂
It is so hard when you want to comfort eat. The less we comfort eat the sooner we get to IVF and nine months off of having a period! 🤞but they should create a 'period pill' that stops the desperate need for chocolate during that time.
How did your healthy prep go? Have you stayed on track so far?

2lbs down today thank god. Hooray!!! Finally!
I'm just going to do exactly what I did this week next week - extra exercise, as many steps as possible, low carbs, no treats 💪

I wonder if any of our other ladies will come back and let us know how they're getting on? It's lovely to have the company! Knowing you're going through the same is really helpful @Lakyta1717

We can definitely do this!

I'm exactly the same. Had a cry yesterday because of this unexpected period and I usually have a bout of crying each cycle or when I see my friends who have kids. It's so tough when you know you need ivf - realistically you know you won't get pregnant before then, but you still have that hope each month for a miracle.
I managed to stay on track - had my planned meals and no chocolate binges thankfully! Was a gain for me today, but I'm guessing because of this surprise aunt flow visit it's probably that. So I'll keep going and hopefully see a loss next week!
Well done for losing 2lbs, that's brilliant! Told you you could do it!
I hope they do come back, it's so nice having people who get what you're going through. And we will indeed do this, I have every faith in us!

Yeah I definitely have a huge cry once a cycle if not more. I've got a family baby shower to go to in the next few weeks. It's all I think about really 😳 can't wait for it to be over. Especially as the person pregnant is younger than me and weighs so much more than I do. Which is a horrific thing to say but I just feel like I've got all this pressure to lose weight but there overweight people everywhere getting pregnant easily and having perfect pregnancies 😢
That little bit of hope is definitely the problem but also I can't imagine how I'd carry on without it? As painful as it may be!
Well done for staying on track and not having chocolate binges! AF definitely causes a gain, hopefully that'll be gone soon. And maybe you'll have a bumper loss next week - period gain gone and actual weight loss? I hope so! That's always nice
If I can lose 2lb next week I'll feel like I'm back on track. It's rarely been the case for me to have a good loss two weeks in a row though 🤞I just want my referral so then I can focus on the two stone I have to lose after that.
I keep day dreaming about winning the lottery, quitting my job and being able to just pay privately for IVF and go to the gym everyday and eat lovely expensive salmon for every meal 😂 if only!!

Absolutely, without the hope I'd have given up long ago. I have a baby shower for a friend coming up and I'm dreading it - the other attendees have all recently had kids. I'm the only without and they all know I have to lose weight for ivf so they're great about it, but it's hard to see them and spend time with them at such events.
If you need to rant or rave before/during/after the baby shower, I'm here for you.
Wouldn't that be the dream! Mind you, I'd still have a bit of weight to lose to get even private ivf but it's a hell of a lot less than the NHS want me to lose. Maybe we will win the lottery one day 😂

Ah baby showers. The thing is that I hated them with a passion before I ever started TTC. I hate them with more now but didn't think that was possible. They're just unbearable and so painful and yet absolutely have to go 🤦 I would hope that as the other attendees know your situation they'll be kind about it? Definitely still painful to be at. Thanks, I'll definitely be hear having a meltdown and wanting to eat all the cake as it gets closer 😂

I can't get over my privacy issues around IVF. If we had been referred already I'd be fine. But we haven't because of me. So the more people in our families that know the more it seems to hurt. I wish nobody knew.

You're right actually I'd still need to lose some before I could go private but less than the NHS one. 🤦 I'd feel it was more achievable though!

Hope your week gets off to a good start. I'll be having salad for lunch and doing half an hour exercise after work and then salmon and veg for dinner.

2 of them are incredibly thoughtful and one is just oblivious and always has been. She's the one who told me she was pregnant before anyone else and then also said she would be a surrogate for me "because we know I can get pregnant now!" 😒 she doesn't ever mean it all maliciously but just says stuff without thinking or realising how it might impact on me... I actually loved baby showers before my issues and I adore babies but struggle seeing others with them.
My husband is like that - he doesn't like to talk about it and hates how open I am. I'll tell anyone I trust about it and I'm very open with family and friends about it. My husband feels he's to blame (we have make factor) but I now feel like I'm the one holding us up because we can't get referred until I lose the weight. I've found the more people that know why I need to lose weight, the more focussed I am. I have a huge fear of failure - so as much as it stressed me out, having people know keeps me more on track and puts the pressure on in a way I can't ignore.
Sounds like a great plan for a Monday! I've got a busy day - parents evening tonight so will be a late one work wise but going to try to get a 30 minute workout in too.

Oh no that's almost worse when they say it and don't realise!! umm nice to have a surrogate set up? 😬😬 🤦 People don't seem to get that it's two things. Wanting to be pregnant and experience pregnancy and wanting to be a mum and have a baby. My friend asked me if I'd considered adopting. She means well I guess.
I'm never that fussed on other people's babies. I prefer toddlers when they get a bit cheeky! Good your other friends are a bit better with it.

We have male factor too, in addition to my PCOS. It's so hard for men to talk about it properly I think. There's a lot of shame attached to the masculinity of a man with fertility issues. It's not fair. I've told lots of people I need to lose weight but not many the reason why. Interesting that you've found it helpful to.
I get that fear of failure! I need to be two stone lighter than I have ever been in life and I have no idea if my body can even do that.
Did you get your workout in? So hard on a busy day! I hope parents evening didn't go on too long.
I've been totally on plan today, got my exercise in. Feel really good about it for a change!

Yeah, she constantly takes me by surprise with her comments. They kill me but I know she means well really.
There is so much shame for men - it's horrible for them. When my husband found out, he told me he would understand if I wanted to leave and find someone else because he was a failure. It broke my heart. He still to this day doesn't understand that it's not just wanting a kid, it's wanting a kid with him. I don't think there's enough support for anyone who's told they need ivf, but I think there's even less support for men. There should be more to help them.
We watched Rhod Gilbert's show where he talks about needing ivf - I'd highly recommend that. It made my husband realise it isn't just him and it isn't anything to be ashamed of. It just is what it is.
I managed to do a quick hiit workout, which is better than nothing! It does make you feel better to get a workout in doesn't it?
Well done for being totally on plan! Hopefully we'll smash today too 💪🏻

People should just be most sensitive and stfu though sometimes. I had a close friend ask me if it's still upsetting when my period starts after so much time TTC, like haven't I got used to it yet? 🤦

There's definitely not enough support for men. Also I don't know how well they would use it if it was there? We watched that Rhod Gilbert thing when it was on TV. Really good! Bless your husband, that's so heartbreaking. Of course it's about wanting a kid with him ❤️ I can't wait to see my hubby as a dad 🥰 I don't think my husband is that ashamed of it anymore, I think it helps though that I've got a problem too and we know of a few people now that are also having issues.
I've also been listening to the Big Fat Negative podcast, have you heard of it? It's really lovely to listen to.
Well done fitting in your hiit workout!!
I've had a banana and yoghurt for breakfast. Will be having half a toasted sandwich for lunch with salad and veg (I need to use it up 😂). Eggs, bacon, chicken sausages and beans for dinner! Super high protein.

I'm trying to figure out if my BMI needs to be like 34.9 or if anything that starts with 35 is okay 🤔 is 35.3 technically 35? My BMI obviously isn't there yet but trying to figure out exactly when I can book my gp appointment 😂 and there's like 2/3lbs difference (and thus a week or two extra time needed). I should just suck it up and get it below 35 as it needs to go below that eventually anyway!

Hi everyone

I’ve been lurking the last few days and been unsure on posting. But I think I’m at that point I need to try speak to people in similar positions to keep me motivated and I struggle to speak to friends as they don’t understand/can be dismissive without meaning to be.
I have pcos and was told at the start of 2021 I need to get my BMI under 35 to start any fertility treatment. Fast forward to September and it’s finally under 35 (it’s been really hard!) but I’ve done four cycles of Clomid and have had no success so far. Had a review with my consultant this morning and she said the next step after the last two cycles of Clomid is IVF but need to get BMI under 30. It’s currently at 33 but still feels a way to go! Think I’ve just fallen down the last few months and need to get remotivated. Any positive messages are appreciated

Hi @Hjklasdfg I've got PCOS too. Losing weight is so difficult isn't it?! How much weight did you lose to get under BMI 35 if you don't mind me asking? Hold onto that number so you can always remember how much you've lost already 😊
BMI 33 is amazing! You're so close. How many lbs/kgs do you need to lose if you're happy to share?
Did you have clomid because there's nothing else 'wrong'? (Me, selfishly trying to figure out if they'll make me try that even though we also have male factor issues or if I'll get to skip straight to IVF).
You're in good company ❤️ we can do this together and you'll be an inspiration to me!

I'm trying to come here every day for a chat and chinwag. I know other people might find that a bit obsessive but I think staying on track is a daily thing, so coming here helps me focus daily. I will be weighing on Sundays and panicking stressing about it on here Thursday onwards 😂

@WeightlossKin oh it is and with pcos it just makes it ten times harder! I got lucky when I was diagnosed as I was referred from my dermatologist so it was discovered before we started ttc but I wish they said weight would be a factor when I was diagnosed as could’ve got strict from then!

I don’t mind at all I was initially 101kg and now I’m down to 87kg so have lost 14kg in total so far, need to lose another 10 to get my bmi under 30. Thank you! I think I’m my own worst enemy I struggle to focus on what has been achieved and focus on what’s left to go.

Yeah they said nothing else is wrong luckily but because of the pcos I wasn’t ovulating at all and my cycles were really long, they’re regular since I’ve started taking Clomid. Have you started any treatment yet? (Sorry if you’ve mentioned it before!)

It’s nice to know someone is on here and active, I’m useless at asking for help so will just be nice to have people to talk to that fully understand! and we can all do it! What’s worked for you so far on weight loss?

I found out I had PCOS at 18. The advice was take contraception and lose weight 😂 helpful, not. I wasn't TTC then but was told I'd struggle to have a baby. Didn't think it would matter if I ovulated but didn't count on hubby having issues either. Hard isn't it? Nevermind. We are all where we are and just need to power through!

That's such a fantastic weight loss 🌟 it's really hard not to focus on what's ahead. I'm giving advice I don't take for myself 😂 I've lost 40ish lbs so far. So like 16-17kg I think? But because I've still got a similar amount to go I can't take any joy in it at all.

I've not started any treatment or been referred 🙁my gp said the next step is to be referred to fertility clinic which they won't do until my BMI is 35. I want to lose 9 more pounds I think before I make my GP appointment. That'll put me just under. Then I know I can't have any IVF until I'm down under 30. I do ovulate although sometimes not until CD30! Usually around day 22-24 though. So I'm hopeful they wouldn't bother with any of those treatments and just let us sit on the IVF waiting list whilst I lose the next lot of weight. That's the dream anyway. Areas seem so different and idk anyone who went through NHS overweight in my area.

I've tried lots of things weight loss wise over the last year. No matter what it's balanced out about a pound a week apart from over December where I've had a huge stall.
I've tried calorie counting then switched to intermittent fasting for a bit, I did low low calories for I guess about six weeks and still only a pound a week so gave that up! 🤷 I'm doing slimming world but a low carb version right now. Works just as well but no better than anything else. What about you?
Low carb is meant to work best for PCOS but I'm not wholly convinced on super low carb doing anything beneficial for me.

@WeightlossKin ah it’s good you got the diagnosis early but sounds like useless advice 🤦🏽‍♀️. It is so hard, I always wish they taught us more at school. I was diagnosed with pcos in 2017 so not too long ago. Ah yeah how has he been? It’s so hard on the men as well I find.

Thank you! Ah you’re doing amazing then - don’t forget how far you come, I’ve just mirrored your advice back

Oh I see, I was referred to the clinic before I was under 35 BMI but then got a gynaecologist telling me to lose weight and mentioned about weight loss surgery etc which wasn’t helpful! I hope you get a better response from your GP, is there one you trust? Might be good to check in anyway and see if they have any advice about weight loss too? Whereabouts are you? Yeah it seems to be different depending on what area you’re from. It’s good your ovulating though!

Yeah I’m always put off by anything too restricting because then I end up gorging and then it’s back to square one. I was doing personal training hiit sessions twice a week and a low carb/low sugar diet but I struggle because I have IBS. The personal training was really good until she took a job in a hospital so now haven’t done any consistent exercise for over a month. Trying to find a new one but it’s also very pricey. Just need to get my head back in the game when it comes to exercise and diet!

Haha it's great advice 😆
That's interesting that you got referred across before you BMI was 35. I wonder if that's because you went across to gynea rather than directly to fertility? It's crazy the differences. Weight loss surgery 🤦 my GP asked if I'd be interested in weight loss surger as I went to see her upset nothing was working and she agreed I was doing everything correctly but didn't have any suggestions other than a weight management referral for potential weight loss surgery however that's a 6 month waiting list and 6 months counselling treatment and THEN a waiting list for weight loss surgery. And then you're not supposed to get pregnant within a year of having that so would have been such a long wait to be putting on the waiting list for IVF it rendered it pointless as I'll get there on my own by then!!
I'm in South West England.

Over restriction does that doesn't it? IBS makes everything harder too, that must be tough! Someone on this thread or another one said they have to have their BMI below 30 for six months before they're considered for IVF! Which is utter rubbish, I can't get over it.

I hope you find a new personal trainer and get back into exercise! Its all about that mental push and motivation.

@WeightlossKin haha it’s forever easy to give the advice but so hard to actually put it in place!

My GP did the blood tests to check for ovulation etc and because they came back negative two months in a row and because of my PCOS she said she thought it’s best to refer me as she wasn’t sure what advice she could give me. Oh my god I was so demotivated when the consultant said weight loss surgery and then I realised I would have to put on weight to be eligible which was completely counter productive. And obviously everything you’ve mentioned the wait and then the recovery time which eats into everything. Exactly! It’s definitely achievable but always easier said than done. I felt so overwhelmed that I went and spoke to my endocrinologist and he was probably the best person to speak to as he said to go low carb/low sugar, exercise more and he said to increase my metformin dose and start inositol. Felt a lot calmer after speaking to him.

Oh really?! You’re not far from me, it’s mad how things change from county to county, I’m in east Surrey so I got referred to Croydon University Hospital but I was wondering if there was another clinic closer.

I think it all comes to funding and CCG groups unfortunately ☹️ Bless her though as if it’s all not hard enough as it is being told to have to wait even longer is just so frustrating.

Thank you!! It is, it’s always that first step that’s the hardest and then just keeping afloat. It’s just with the PCOS it’s so hard to keep the weight off and steer mind away from depression and anxiety!

Hey @Hjklasdfg welcome!
I don't have PCOS but I do have to lose a tonne of weight before I even get referred - I have to get my BMI lower than 30 before I'll even be sent to the fertility clinic. I've finally lost some weight in the last year (14/15kg now) but I seem to have hit a lull and am struggling again.
Drs are quick to say lose weight but it's so much harder than just doing the right thing. Especially when you guys have PCOS to contend with too! You've done amazingly so far and I am a big believer in celebrating that, so here's to your amazing achievements already! 💪🏻🌟 that's incredible and shows that you can and have done this already! I have every faith that each and every one of us will reach our goals!
I also used to have a PT but after some differences in opinions during the pandemic (he was anti-vax and didn't believe covid was actually that bad 🙄) I decided I couldn't work with him. So I've been doing bodycoach workouts and meal plans which is how I've lost the weight. I need to get back into exercise properly again, I miss my weight training but without classes/sessions to go to, I struggle to do the workouts at home on my own. But I'm trying - doing cycling and HIIT workouts when I can/have the energy.
But like I said, we got this 💪🏻 it's so good to have support here and know other people understand what you're going through 😊

Hey @Lakyta1717
What are you on now? That’s a massive achievement too, you should celebrate and be proud of yourself, you’ve got this far you can make it to the goal! But it is hard even if you don’t have pcos and there’s nothing more frustrating than the doctor saying you need to lose weight before we can do anything further! I think we will all get there especially if we support each other it makes such a difference being able to talk to people that fully understand. I said to my husband earlier I feel a bit better now I’ve been speaking on here.

Oh god yeah you don’t want to have to deal with all that but well done for keeping up everything else in the meantime! That’s what I struggle with too - motivation, I knew with PT I was paying for it so I had to honour that commitment and felt good afterwards but I find it so hard to do it at home. I used to do yoga religiously too but that’s hard too.

Honestly it’s made such a difference and I’m annoyed at myself for taking this long to comment on a post like this!

I've got another 27kg to lose, have lost 14/15kg so far. I'm really happy with what I've lost so far as it took me so long to even lose the first kg. I'd been on medication that was causing weight gain and it took 4 years before they realised, so I came off it last year and now I've finally lost some weight. So I know I can and I'd rather it be slow and steady and gone for good than crash diet.
My husband jokingly laughs at me when I mention my Mumsnet crew 😂 but this has honestly helped so much.
For years I've just read post after post saying "quit whinging and just get on with it" or people who've done and say "just think of the baby you so desperately want, that should be motivation enough". And it is my motivation, but also, life happens! I can't be focussed the entire time and life gets in the way, we get busy, we have parties, we marry Yorkshire chefs who have no portion control 😂 so it's a struggle no matter how determined you are but people don't get that or accept that it's still difficult and you can't "just do it" in a matter of weeks or months.
This thread has honestly been a life saver for me in all honesty!

@Hjklasdfg putting on weight to be eligible for weight loss surgery is absolutely mental isn't it? Really the interventions should happen at a lower weight before too much damage is done in my opinion. We don't need it anyway, we're proving that with every bit we lose 😊 nobody would put me on Metformin because my blood sugar test thing came back fine twice. Maybe I should have asked to be referred to someone. Literally got zero support for my pcos. I've spoken to a few doctors about weight loss and signed up to lots of 12 week trials of things 😂 as I always seem to lose 1lb a week on average it's fun to try lots of different things without consequences (would be nice to have a bigger loss from something though). I'm glad you're happy for having posted on here. We can prod each other along a pound at a time! It's really good to have somewhere you can be honest and know people will understand.

@lakyta1717 it's so frustrating. Stalls in weight loss are so demotivating. You deserve to see some loss this week 🤞lots of people love bodycoach. Do you do the recipes or just the workouts?? In any other situation we would be absolutely thrilled and happy with so much progress and not fussed about not moving forward for a few months. Feels very unfair on ourselves.
I've got 19kgs to lose I think before I'll be able to have IVF. I think about 4kg before referral. Where they'll immediately tell me I'm too fat 😂 and probably refuse to add me to the waiting list until I've lost the rest 🤦
How frustrating that medications was causing a problem and it took so long to resolve.
You are absolutely right!! I often think people think I don't want a baby if I do something wild like have a biscuit or a piece of cake. What they don't get is that you don't get to switch off from life and avoid all food and temptation and it's hard when so many other people get to have babies AND eat whatever they want! It's not a lack of motivation at all.
In September 2019 when we started TTC I'd actually already gotten down to a BMI of just less than 35. I thought coming off birth control would help my weight loss... It did not!! And then my mum got sick and passed away and lockdown happened and I stopped weighing myself and stopped trying my jeans on and wore leggings everyday. And before I knew it I'd gained 4 stone! 🤦🤦 Now if I'm going out or having an indulgence I always wear jeans as a reminder to not over do it. I beat myself up all the time for having gained the weight. If I hadn't we'd probably already have had IVF. But I can't do anything about that now!

Did a workout this morning and had scrambled egg and chicken heck sausages for breakfast 😊 so feels like a good start to the day!

@Lakyta1717 that’s amazing progress so far though! Well done oh it’s so much better taking it slow as doing crazy diets just isn’t feasible in the long run and you don’t want to stress your body out either!
Oh if only it was so simple to just get on with it, it’s such an emotional journey as well which changes everyday, we’re only human we can only cope with what we have in front of us and everyone copes differently. I wish I had the motivation some people do to just get on with it.

Exactly! You can still be determined but you can also be frustrated that it’s taken this long. I find it so hard to speak to friends that are pregnant etc at the moment as as much as I’m happy for them there’s still that selfish part of me that’s like why not me? Why is it this difficult? And yes having a chef husband must be a challenge 😂😂 I wouldn’t be able to resist all the good fresh food.

@WeightlossKin honestly when they said your BMI has to be a certain amount to even be considered I was like what?! Okay that’s not an option then. That we are! We can do it ☺️

Did the doctors diagnose you then? My sugars are fine but the endocrinologist said because we’re likely to get insulin resistant it’s better to take action now before things get bad and I do think it’s suppose to help regulate periods etc. Maybe it’s worth asking your GP if you could be referred to a endocrinologist so you can speak to someone who knows about it in detail? I used my works health insurance to be seen privately but my GP has put a referral through for his clinic under NHS as I can’t afford the excess fee/constant consultations in the long term especially if we end up needing to go private for IVF.

What’s been your favourite so far?! I think my anxiety is what stops me, I can’t deal the thought of going to the gym or classes so it’s always indoors or PT one to one but it’s been a struggle finding a new one! I’m so glad I came across this too - honestly it’s been such a relief feeling like I can talk without sounding like it’s constant moaning.

Also, being nosy from the rest of the message I’m really sorry to hear about your mum, I hope you’re as okay as you can be and if you need to talk just say so.

That’s a really good start to the day! You’re smashing it

@WeightlossKin the fact you've managed to keep going and move forward is amazing given everything you've been through. And you will get there, we all will. I'm so sorry to hear about your mum, just as @Hjklasdfg said, if you ever need to talk about it, we're here for you. Not just for the weight loss support, but support for everything.

I do a mixture of the hiit and the food, but we also eat healthy meals when we don't fancy bodycoach meals that are veg packed. I find doing body coach 100% difficult because the portions are HUGE but they can also be quite expensive. So we mix it up.

I've been having granola and yoghurt and I think I might now have a granola addiction 😂 gunna have to make more because I've scoffed it all this week. But it's better than just toast and butter like I used to have!

I've just been to buy some bits for the baby shower I'm going to this weekend. Had a moment of "when will it be my turn? I've been trying for so much longer than all of these friends who have a kid or are going to have one. Why not me?" I also had a ridiculously vivid dream that my dentist couldn't do my appointment because it turned out I was pregnant, but alas it's not true (I stupidly bought tests and upset myself seeing that stark blank space again). It's so hard seeing other people get the one thing you so desperately want.