IVF/FET October/November 21 part 2

[paintfairy]

The other thread is full so I'm hoping everyone will find this!

@paintfairy I'm only on one a day. I'm planning on testing a day before I run out so I can potentially get some more.

I'm really sorry @MrsC2018 the pain is horrible :(

It's a confirmed BFN for me. Expected, but utterly devastating. This was my third cycle in a year. I've had five transfers (BFN, BFN, chemical, BFN, BFN) from 9 embryos - one didn't survive thaw, one the clinic should never have frozen so was discarded, and I have two still in the freezer - one from round 2 and the one from this round that they were meant to have transferred instead of whatever they put in.

I've also got red blood this morning, not full flow yet but my period is clearly starting. I've never bled until 3/4 days after I stopped progesterone with previous transfers, so something else that's gone wrong this time. I'm reluctant to count this as a transfer as it's been such a c*ck-up, but the mental toll of this time has probably been the worst yet. It feels like one savage kick after another.

Sorry for the gloom. I am doing this alone and right now it feels more than I can bear. My family know I'm having treatment but aren't supportive, and very few friends are aware. I knew coming in the odds were not great but the hope of success has kept me doing more treatment. Maybe I have to accept I’m never going to have a baby :(

@lucymills1234 I’m so sorry 😞 it’s so cruel and unfair.

@MrsC2018 sending you a big hug. The highs and lows of this experience are a lot. Have a relaxing weekend and take time for yourself x

I have had a tiny bit of stringy discharge today, but it had a slight brown/yellow tinge to it (tmi I know but wanted to get your opinions). Do you think this is normal. My transfer was on Tuesday and I’m worrying about it. I am also on cyclogest which makes it really difficult to know what’s normal down there and what is the pessaries!!

@lucymills1234 I'm so sorry. Have you had a response from the clinic re this c*ck up yet? Because I honestly wouldn't be letting them get away with that. They owe you. Big time. Hugs. Do you have no one at all that can support you?
@CycleGirl20 ah OK. Stopping from one a day is probably OK. I'm on 3 so wouldn't just stop from that.

I am really sorry @lucymills1234 ❤️ it is really upsetting that this cycle ended this way. What dose of progesterone are you on? Sending you a big hug. X

@lucymills1234 I'm so sorry lovely. I don't know you but I do know your pain 💔
It sounds to me that you need to show yourself some kindness and take some time to grieve for this year. You don't need to accept anything yet, next year will be afresh x

@lucymills1234 so sorry to hear this lovely. It really is heartbreaking, I know the pain you are feeling. Take the weekend to recoup and feel everything you deserve to feel right now. Sending a big hug x

@lucymills1234 so so sorry to hear your news my love. Take care of yourself and make sure you take your time for you. We are all here to talk here.

@makeithappen2022 could this be part of implantation possibly?xx

@makeithappen2022 seems so different for everyone, so could be anything?

I've got my scan date. 14th December.

I’m hoping it means implantation… let’s go with that and stay positive for now.

Exciting @paintfairy! The next wait is on 💗

@makeithappen2022 it could well be. I never had it but some people do. And my twinges started 3 days after transfer.

@paintfairy @makeithappen2022 I had twinges and cm 3/4 days after transfer. I'm hoping its a good sign. Today is day 5 after transfer and I'm not quite sure why but I feel negative today, as if I know already that it hasn't worked and I'm really struggling to snap out of it ! Hopefully the weekend will take my mind off it !

@makeithappen2022 could it be the progesterone also? Mine is coming out in lumpy discharge.

@IVFGotThis05 are we 4 or 5 dpt? Is Monday day 1 or 0? I was wondering that earlier! I'm medium levels of optimistic. I'm hoping there might be a super high grade embryo in my mini frosties too as a backup plan!

@CycleGirl20 ahh I we are day 4 actually ! Oops ! Monday must be day 0 as Wednesday 24th is my day 9 (test day).

Yeah I have also put down some of the symptoms as progesterone ones too. but who knows ! I'm trying to hope for the best ! Maybe chocolate and film will help tonight!

I'm having another hungry day. Chocolate sounds lovely!

Weird question but has anyone else tried to check their cervix? Apparently if it's high and soft it can mean pregnancy. But then it's hard to tell what high even means

@IVFGotThis05 I feel like that today too. I think it is an element of trying to protect ourselves if it’s bad news. The highs and lows are one of the hardest things. My boobs are really hurting today too which is making me irritable.

Thank you for everyone giving me ideas on the discharge, it has stopped and was only that one time so could be anything or nothing at all. The pessaries are so frustrating as you can’t read anything

So sorry @lucymills1234 💔 this journey is just the worst. I don't know what to say 😔

I had my transfer done today, unfortunately the remaining embryo went down in quality when it got thawed so I don't know what to make of it. It is nevertheless on board now. I don't know what we will do if this fails as there's officially no back ups left it feels awful.

@CycleGirl20 I haven’t - I don’t know what my cervix feels like normally so I don’t think I would be able to tell. I know it’s definitely a sign for some though!
I’ve woken up at 530 again, wide awake and also feeling hungover, which seems massively unfair as I haven’t had a drop of alcohol!! I had three glasses of water with dinner last night and a herbal tea before bed, so I should be very well hydrated.

@IVFGotThis05 @CycleGirl20 yes transfer day is day 0. And I felt quite positive. But then suddenly the day before I decided to test, I felt completely the other way. I literally felt empty and was sure it hadn't worked. By the time I tested i had convinced myself it hadn't. My boobs hurt all the way through @makeithappen2022 and I was waiting for it to ease towards the end but it didn't. I was irritable massively. One night I couldn't sleep because I couldn't bear my own hair touching my head. 🤣 I think it's the progesterone. I never checked my cervix as I never did usually and so wouldn't know. Plus unnecessary poking can't be good.

@Hufflepuff1 by a lot? I honestly can't work out how they even grade them. And different embryologist would likely even all have a difference of opinion. Now its in there, hopefully it'll pick up! 🤞
@Gensola the lack of sleep is killing me. They say you feel tired and that's a sign. But actually I don't know how you are meant to tell when you are getting zero sleep. I actually felt energised too just before my bfp which didn't seem right at all! Last night I was awake from 2am. 🙄

@Hufflepuff1 congratulations on your transfer. My embryo was somewhere between high and poor quality depending on which doctor you ask. I think it can be a bit random and clinic by clinic. I had a 1/4bb. 1/4 because they said it was a 1 but become a 4??

@paintfairy @IVFGotThis05 I woke up yesterday thinking "why did I drink so much!" Because I felt awful. Then I remembered I'd not drink since September

I honestly don’t think grading matters - my fresh transfer in September of a 5AA hatching blast ( which they were all gushing about being perfect and textbook) failed.
Some clinics are even moving away from the grading system completely as they’ve recognised it isn’t reliable. I think it causes a lot of unnecessary stress and worry.

Can’t believe I’m only 4dp5dt today 😂 it feels like a million years already. I’ll probably test one day early on 26 Nov as I have a dinner party that night and at 10dp5dt a negative is unlikely to turn to a positive.

@Gensola I agree, my clinic have moved away from it they just give you a b or c now but because last time I got the full grading I asked for the equivalent and they gave me it.

I also feel that, also at 4dp 5dt - we have another whole week!! I’m not due to test until next Sunday!

What tests do we have coming up ladies?

I'm due to test next Sunday, which would be 14dp5dt. I think I'll test on Friday at 12 days. I'm half expecting AF would come around Thursday anyway and I finish my progesterone (only 1 q day) on Thursday anyway so I reckon I might find out that way before hand anyway

Today is a big day for me though. I finish my horrible thrombosis injections that I was given post EC for 10 days because I'm high risk for OHSS. They're especially horrible because for some reason the needles are really thick. I kept failing to get the injection in and having to try multiple times but I've since started just stabbing myself. Today's will be my 32nd injection of this cycle! We have to put our bodies through a lot!!