IVF October/November 2021

[TheSnufflet]

I can't see that anyone else has started one yet, so I thought I may as well!

Just got my calendar through today and will be downregging in three weeks time, starting stims in late October, with EC provisionally in early November. This is my second round, which will now be ICSI-only after my last one ended up with a total fertilisation failure

Anyone else on the same sort of timeframe?

@GodSpeedJune oh I have no idea either all I can do at the moment is hope at the next scan I measure at 7 weeks. As my first scan I measured at 5 then this week at 6 so just hoping that next week there is a week of growth and a good heartbeat. I am under no illusion that next week could be the end but I can hold on to the little bit of hope I have at the moment as I already thought it was all over at the first scan and cried for 2 days so I feel as though I got that out my system and now just have to wait. I thought last week was a long week this will definitely be the longest wait as by the next scan there should be a definite answer one way or the other x

Oh sorry everyone is having such a tough time!! Who remembers when we thought stimms was going ti be the worst/hard part!!!
My scan is on Thursday and feeling less anxious after a long weekend of tiredness and nausea/food aversion - noting major just turned off by smells. No risk of missed covid here with hyper sense of smell it seems! But I'm also very conscious of not getting my hopes up 😒 if there's not much to see on the first scan do they usually book you in a week or days later does anyone know?

Well definitely all over for me 2 weeks of ups and downs but now just glad it will be over and done with rather than maybe this or maybe that. Will take some time and hopefully be able to try and again with our frosties soon. Good luck to all that are left and wishing you successful pregnancies and hopefully see some of you other guys on later forums. X

@Livingonaprayerandgin I really hope you had a successful scan today x

So very sorry that it hasn’t worked out Tiger86

@Tiger86 So sorry to hear this. Wishing you some peace and healing for now and lots of baby dust for the next round

@Tiger86 so sorry its not worked out, hope you are ok and everything crossed for your frosties xx

Our scan went well today, confirmed 7+1 and all appears as it should ❤

@ExhaustedPigeon1988 hoping you still receive notifications on here as wanted to ask and so sorry if it brings up horrible memories but I didn't know where else to ask. Currently going through my miscarriage after medication. First dose didn't work and second dose I had some bleeding but not even enough to fill a pad really. A few small red clots but nothing significant. Now just turned to brown old blood and again not very much. I'm pretty sure it hasn't worked and I know you lost 2 but just wanted to ask do you think I should have had much more bleeding than this? I'm assuming you had quite heavy bleeding lasting a few days? I only had one day of red blood and again not enough to fill one pad and now old blood. I have another scan tomorrow but just really wanted to avoid surgery and let my body lose the pregnancy naturally but thinking it hasn't worked 😔. Wanted to try and get back to work and normality to take my mind off of it but will be even longer if I need surgical procedure x

@Tiger86 I'm happy to help where I can, don't worry life is one big trigger lol, nice to be helpful :) so I started with brown spotting, literally when I wiped. That turned to bright red/pink blood, heavier but only when I wiped.... although I was so anxious I was in the toilet wiping every 30-45 mins lol. I occasionally got small round clots, or stringy clots. This lasted a week (I was still on all ivf meds as it took a week for 3 blood tests to confirm no ongoing pregnancy). Once I stopped meds, wow that was a different level. A lot of bad BAD period pains, bleeding was heavier, but the clots would literally fall out (sorryfor those reading), this lasted 2 solid days, I couldnt be without a toilet for longer than an hour. After that's I had 3-4 days of 'normal' bleeding, then it just stopped. I am so sorry you are going through this, it's that hardest thing ever. With my ex husband I had many miscarriages/chemicals, but nothing had compared to this loss. Strangely other than 2 days of solid crying when the bleeding first started, I have continued as normal, I feel numb and broken. I am planning the next FET, but with not enthusiasm or interest. I feel sad not to be excited, but I just don't have the same passion or get up and go as before. I actually wish I had never got the positives, seen the lines get darker, or had the scan to show 2 growing embryos.... I'm sure you are feeling something similar. I have no words to make this any easier, and you sound impatient like me lol, all we can do is cry to each other, and keep on keeping on..... if there is every anything I can help with. I'm more than happy to answer anything.... in your situation, I think I would be demanding a scan to make sure everything has cleared as it should. Plus the sooner you know where you are at the sooner you can place again... if that's your intention. I have a clear blue digital ovulation tracker, I believe peak hours I'll be in the next day or 2, so am hoping only 2 more weeks then I can start again. But I feel disloyal to the embryos I have lost, just powering on. I know how crazy that sounds, but I'm finding the guilt of replacement difficult. I know in my heart I'm not mentally ready for another round, but in the other hand I can't stand the thought of not pushing forward either. Finding life very hard :( x

@Tiger86 sorry just reread your post after replying, glad you have the scan booked. I was meant to go back Xmas eve for a check up, and final scan to confirm all was gone, but couldn't bring myself to do it. Had such a long bleed (2 weeks), and 2 extremely bad days, that I was confident it was all done. But if you have any doubt you need to keep chasing. The last thing you need is it causing problems for future treatments. You've got this, just take a little while to get it sorted. Sometimes our bodies just need to do their own thing for a bit to get back on track- eat and drink too much, do all the naughty things you haven't been able to.... we have eaten so much crap and drunk wine every night, it makes me feel better even if it is only for an hour or 2. As I'm close to starting again, this week we are getting back on track, it's hard though as the wine has really got us through 😂 x

@ExhaustedPigeon1988 thanks so much for replying and definitely know how you feel. Not ready to move on but at the same time want everything to be over to move on. I'm the same not sure if I will be mentally ready for frozen transfer but I will do it and would rather it just fail than go through this again! I am with you on the eating crap that is all I've done since confirmation that it was over, haven't drank coffee in months and went to starbucks and ordered the biggest coffee going, drank wine and haven't consumed a lit of chocolate!!

I don't think I have had enough bleeding for it all to be out so now but was hoping to avoid surgery as last miscarriage I had this and my cycles took 7 months to return so was hoping if my body realised it was gone with doing it more naturally this would help. Fertility clinic did assure me though that they would help my cycles return with medication so hopefully this won't be an issue as spent months at the doctors last time asking for them to help and they just said they would return and it can take up to a year! Yes that is helpful when you are ttc and are approaching mid 30's I have all the time in the world to wait a year! Sorry I am ranting now. Thanks for all your help and will just have to wait for my scan tomorrow but not expecting good news. It is like every time I enter a scan room now I am destined for bad news. Really hope one day I walk out of one again with happy news!!! X

@ExhaustedPigeon1988 sorry also wanted to add that what you went through sounds horrendous with the amount of bleeding you had and I really hope your period arrives soon as I know the wait for that seems like a lifetime too and I wish you all the luck on the world for the next round. Hope we can start a new thread or carry on this one with other trying again too as I would like to stay updated with everyone's stories. I feel invested in other people's outcomes as much as my own x

@Tiger86 I really hope the scan gives you some sort of closure, and atleast you have the clinic on board. It's small things that are positive, which again is easy for me to say, but I know at this point no words make any difference. Yep I have had a couple of cheeky coffees too.... look at us being rebels ;-) I'm here to chat, for you to rant, and believe me you don't need to worry about upsetting me- I still cry daily, but have learnt to take myself into the bathroom and cry into a towel lol, so atleast I am almost in control 😂. Or so I tell myself! Not that this is nice to deal with anything, but I'm get Christmas and new year is by far the hardest. 1 of my closest friends is pregnant- I also work with her daily. And my other closest friend had her baby the start of December. I'm finding it so hard not to be bitter, which makes me feel guilty too.... it's such a hard thing to go through, and it never seems to get any easier x

Thank you @Tiger86 it wasn't the nicest, but it's over and that's what matters I guess. Am on a thread for for Jan/feb, maybe worth joining, although would be nice to stick with the same group, like you say it's nice to here how our ladies are doing :) you never you you may not be too far behind me.... keep your chin up, and remember we are warriors not worriers :)

@Exhaustedpigeon1988 well it's like I thought pregnancy didn't pass on it's own so off for surgery tomorrow I go. At least finally at by tomorrow it will all be over! X

Ffs @Tiger86 that bollox, so m so sorry! N the plus side it will be over quicker, and hopefully in a month if you haven't had your period the clinic will help it start... it's not great news, but it's not the worst either. I really hope it all goes ok for you tomorrow- glad they have got you in quickly :) x

@Tiger86 been thinking of you, how are you doing? X

@ExhaustedPigeon1988 thanks for thinking of me. It was a long day yesterday as had to go in at 8 but wasn't taken to theatre until 3 but feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I can finally move on from this cycle and try to get back to a form of normal life now. Actually keen just to go back to work as that is a bug distraction for me so think I will return tomorrow and see how it goes.

Just emailed the fertility clinic with a million questions as now my focus is on a new cycle and keen to know when I can get started and the waiting begins again!! Just hope my period comes back in 4/6 weeks 🤞. Will join the January/February group to keep an eye on everyone's progress in the next cycle think I will closer to March for starting but will like to keep track of everyone that was on here this cycle x

@Tiger86 I have my transfer scheduled 2/3/22, but it's with the Dr that told me I would end up with drains in my stomach And lungs if I got pregnant after my egg collection, she was really horrible. Plus the transfer failed. My last transfer was the amazing male Dr, and it worked, even if it ended in miscarriage, so I really want to be with him. I've asked the clinic to change my transfer to be with him, he also done my egg collection, so they are seeing what dates he has available. It means I might be pushing it back, but either way I don't want to be with her! So looks like we may both be together in March x

@ExhaustedPigeon1988 that doctor sounds like she should not be a fertility doctor! She sounds horrible. Hopefully the other doctor doesn't have too long a waiting list but I can see why you would want to wait. I can't fault my clinic they have been really supportive through everything. At least we might be cycle buddies again all going well 🤞. Just bought some cheap ovulation tests and pregnancy ones so at least I can see if the hcg makes if way out of my system this time a bit quicker and can see what my body is doing in couple of weeks. Was going to go back to work tomorrow but suddenly burst into tears for no reason tonight. I am worried someone will say one thing to me tomorrow and I will cry my eyes out. I think I am not quite ready yet. Feel bad as I already told my boss I would come back tomorrow and will now have to phone and say actually I'm not quite ready yet. Feel like my hormones are all over the place but then I think well I only technically had the miscarriage yesterday but it just feels like it has been going on forever. Think my body is all over the place today. One minute I'm happy and fine the next I'm in tears x

@Tiger86 please take as much time to yourself as you possibly can. I was forced to Work through mine, due to running the salon and it being Christmas. I was fully booked with clients, and had to go to the toilet every 30 mins- was a nightmare! The hardest part was the hormones and the emotions, wanting to scream and cry all the time, but having to put on a smiling face. I feel like I haven't had any time to recover, as everything is moving so quickly- don't get me wrong it's what I have pushed for, but would have been better to have some time to myself at the hardest point. I still cry daily, I'm still angry, and now we are coming upto another cycle. Try take a few days to yourself, and I'm always here if you want to talk x

@ExhaustedPigeon1988 thanks glad I didn't go to work today feeling much better for it. I really don't know how you worked through all that but so different when you have your own business as much harder to take time off. Think I will just take tomorrow as well and go back on Monday. I'm a teacher and like you say you have to put on a happy face all day and pretend you are OK. Plus I don't think I was ready for the questions about why I've been off and hope your doing fine from the others. Only 1 person knows at work as well as my boss obviously but she went through ivf as well which is why I talked to her about it before I had ivf. She also had a miscarriage on her first round and then all her frosties didn't make it when they came out of the freezer such ashame. She managed to have a beautiful little boy on her next round with a fresh cycle. She is my inspiration to keep going and hopefully have some success. X

@Tiger86 I'm so pleased you have taken a few days off, we need some process time. It's great you have someone who's been through it all that you can talk to. All my friends know, and I speak with them all the time, but it's more frustrating than anything, as none of them have been through it, and they are always are too positive. How are you feeling physically? Does it take long to recover from the op? X

@ExhaustedPigeon1988 physically there isn't much recovery really felt absolutely fine after. Just still some days of bleeding so will be happy when that stops as it means it is finally over as feel like it is a daily reminder. Will be back to work on Monday and finally feel like I'm getting back to normal. Onwards and upwards from here hopefully 😀

@Tiger86 that's what I felt like too, only actually cleared all the pregnancy tests out 2 days ago, hadnt been able to get rid of them. I'm still a mess, had acupuncture for my next cycle Wednesday and still cried, I'm fed up of feeling so broken! I wish you all the best, and hope your next period doesn't keep you waiting too long! X