IVF October/November 2021

[TheSnufflet]

I can't see that anyone else has started one yet, so I thought I may as well!

Just got my calendar through today and will be downregging in three weeks time, starting stims in late October, with EC provisionally in early November. This is my second round, which will now be ICSI-only after my last one ended up with a total fertilisation failure

Anyone else on the same sort of timeframe?

Well absolutely gutted it was not good news for us at our scan today. Just so crap to get your hopes up for it all to come crashing down. Wish I just never got a positive pregnancy test in the first place that is so much easier to deal with than all this false hope. It just didn't grow. Wishing everyone else success with their scans and will just have to try again next year. 😔xx

@Tiger86 oh no this is heartbreaking honestly thinking about you xx

Thanks @ivf1sttime now I have to wait a week for another scan as they want to be sure but they are pretty sure there was just an empty sac and there would be something there by now if it was a viable pregnancy. Just wish my body would do things naturally that would be easier to deal with I think. I will be trying to avoid and d&c at all costs as had this with my last miscarriage and it took 6 months for my cycles to return to normal. Think I would rather have my body do things naturally this time so it knows x

@Tiger86 I am so sorry. The false hope is the worst! This honestly feels like a never ending rollercoaster of a journey. I’m praying you get your miracle in the new year. Take care 💐 x

@ivf1sttime hope your scan went well today x

Have a great Christmas everyone x

@Tiger86 yeah my scan went good thank you saw the little flicker of heartbeat so now I can enjoy Xmas ive been a right state after seeing everyone’s posts on here it’s so hard.

Hope you have a good Xmas ive been thinking about you so much xx

Merry Christmas to each and everyone of you....

we all know how hard this time of year is, putting on a brave face for others.... but one Christmas real soon it will be OUR turn, stay strong ladies, and thank you all for your help, support and kind words over the last few bullshit months....

I will be on Februarys chat from the sound of things from my delightful clinic, may catch some of you there?

Love to you all :) x

Ladies, I just wanted to come on here and say that I had begun to hate Christmas ( which used to be my favourite time of year)
I had a long drawn out mmc in 2019 Christmas. I was staying with my in-laws, far from home and it started Christmas and resolved end of jan. so was very traumatic. The following Christmas I had ivf and before this had two further mmc at 9 weeks. I started suffering the worst depression and anxiety and spent Christmas not sleeping and having to leave the relative I was staying with early. I also went on ADs. I then had another round of ivf ( while off work with stress)
This Christmas I got my rainbow.
I had given up almost but I still had this hope that wouldn’t diminish and I had to keep fighting on.
A lovely lady I met on here is now a good friend, she had 7 mcs and 3 ivf euploids not implant and is now in second trimester
FYI we both had immune treatment this time
I just wanted to say it’s awful, lonely, painful and dark but keep going because just around the corner everything might just change

Not sure if my agony is just being prolonged. Had another scan today expecting there to be an empty sac like last week and now there is a tiny something with a flicker of a heartbeat. Only measuring 6 weeks 1 day though and should be 8 weeks this week. How could it be this far behind! Now hav to wait another week before a new scan. I think the likely scenario is that it is not progressing quickly enough for it to be viable and it is not like my dates can be wrong. Just a horrible prolonged agony x

@Tiger86 it's promising there is a heartbeat :) the lady that scanned me at EPU said most IVF dates are wrong, that we assume we are further than we actually are.... not sure how that works. But even after I was scanned and told all was ok, in my heart I knew something wasn't right, follow your instincts- and if it's better news than expected it's a massive bonus. It's the not knowing i hate, having to carry on with a normal life, when actually nothing is even close to normal. I feel your pain, and wish you the very best of luck :) x

@ExhaustedPigeon1988 thanks just not sure what to think now to be honest. Was totally unexpected. They are still concerned at the epu as heartbeat wasn't what it should but there has been huge progress in a week from nothing in the sac to a yolk sac fetal pole and heartbeat but I'm too nervous to get my hopes up to it all cone crashing down again next week. Maybe I am just having the world's longest miscarriage x

Aw @Tiger86 I can only imagine! It's all the waiting and uncertainty!! But today it's a positive so take it!
@ExhaustedPigeon1988 how are you??

After my cool collected 2ww where I didn't test early, I'm now a nervous wreck in the count down to my scan next week. I was 6 weeks yesterday and have zero synotoms which is worrying me. I know not everyone does but any sign would be reassuring!!

I just keep counting out my dates. I realise in pregnancy you are pregnant 2 weeks before ovulation and then 4 weeks when you find out. I have counted back to my egg collection which is exactly 6 weeks and 1 day ago and the scan today showed 6 weeks and 1 day this can't be a coincidence can it? But then I know on my head that they date the pregnancy 2 weeks prior to the egg collection so should I be further on or not. I'm so confused and don't know whether I am just clutching at straws trying to look for a positive outcome x

@LivingonaPrayerandGin I'm not great to be honest, I'm not really coping with the miscarriage, as I'm so busy with work and therefore putting in a face that I can't grieve cry and scream like I would usually do. It feels like I'm the one not one dealing with this and life carries in as normal for everyone else, it makes me mad! To top it off the clinic are useless idiots as always. I was told at my consultation I could start another round THIS cycle, went to book it with the judges to be told I had to wait 2 bleeds! Kicked off and got to speak to the doctor, who has agreed to me starting in next bleed, on a 3 week medication, which instead of 7 weeks like my last FET was.... bonus or so I thought. Literally just got my med list over and it's the same as my 7 week drug list for my last FET, I could cry!!! They are so bloody stupid! They are now closed for the next few days, so hopefully I can get it sorted then, but I'm going to be so pissed off if they put me on 7 weeks of it again, when the doctor told me clearly it would be completed within a month!!! Her exact words! I hate them, I actually really hate them! Sorry for the rant, I feel the clinic give me major anger issues lol. I hope your scan goes well, how exciting, lol n sure you will just be one of the lucky ones with no symptoms- you will just fly through the pregnancy :)

@ExhaustedPigeon1988 it is ok not to be ok. I think there is such a big expectation to just get over it and it isn't something you can just get over. I think after IVF as well it seems so much harder and you have been through so much already and so many ups and downs along the way. Take time to not be ok and don't let anyone tell you that your feelings are not valid because they really are! So sorry the clinic are not letting you move on at the speed you would like. Surely it should be fine after one bleed as they say that is when to try again with a miscarriage. I am just really keen to move on as well if this doesn't work out which is the most likely scenario. I am just so worried my cycles won't return to normal like last time and I will be waiting so long again. The fertility clinics seem to shut down over Xmas which isn't great either. Would have liked to speak to them about carrying on with progesterone for time being but just decided I would and managed to get some more from doctor just in case. X

@ExhaustedPigeon1988 rant away! That's exactly what we're here for. Tiger86 is right, IVF comes with so much waiting is no wonder our patience runs out!! Clinics do seem to be a bit rubbish in general I noticed. I originally got told my scan would be the 22nd Jan until I kept Checking my dates too @Tiger86 and when I questioned it they realised I should ve booked for the 7th! Definitely trust your gut and keep pushing ladies!!

@ExhaustedPigeon1988 Sorry to hear you’re having such a tough time, it’s completely understandable and to be expected. It’s just a rubbish situation all round so you are entitled to feel like you are. I hope you get a bit more clarification from the clinic soon.

@Tiger86 I’m sending all my best thoughts your way for a good outcome. I know of course you will be understandably guarded but hopefully the news is still a positive sign.

@LivingonaPrayerandGin. Hopefully you are one of the lucky ones who sail through pregnancy! The 7th is only a week away so think lots of good thoughts!

@Tiger86 ivf is damn hard no matter what way you look at it. I just feel I was able to grieve more on a basic failed IVF last time, compared to this time getting pregnant with twins and losing them both- people expect me to bounce back easier this time which is bizarre! My closest friend is 17 weeks pregnant, it's her birthday next week, and my partner wants to get her something cute and baby related, asking my to shop for pregnancy pillows and scan frames- feel like I'm being unreasonable, but it pisses me off I'm expected to do this when I'm still so raw! So so fed up with carrying on as normal, but I guess there isn't really much choice lol. So my last frozen transfer was started on day 21 so f my cycle, buserelin for 3 weeks, then progynova and buserelin for 3 weeks then finally the transfer, so was like 9 weeks in total from the first day of my period. Now they are saying they can do a shorter version, I start buserelin on day 2 and the whole cycle is completed within 3-4 weeks- which is so much better. But now they have sent me the med list (still no treatment plan), and they have included the same amount of buserelin as my first cycle, so the nurses have obviously decided to ignore my requests and what's been agreed with the doctor, and I think I'm being out in the long 21 day version again! With it being New Years I now have to wait to speak to them again- they just make me so angry. Each department does something different and they don't communicate between them to I have to do it- which is fine until something doesn't add up then you have to chase round loads of departments trying to sort it out, heaven forbid you need to speak to a doctor as that's a 6 week wait lol! Honestly, they make me feel like I'm going crazy! @LivingonaPrayerandGin told you I can rant for England, just feel so angry with life, mainly the clinic though. Like you say they are utter rubbish! So glad you got the scan sorted, you defo have to go with gut instinct, and just keep chasing! But it's so hard when they should be the experts, and we are expected to put our trust in them! After I lost the twins I was told I could have upped my meds as it was 2, which would have given better lining support- well that's just wonderful AFTER the miscarriage was confirmed :(
@BlueSilver23 how are you getting on, I'm rubbish at keeping track with everyone :( you ladies amazing me how you all remember everything, as always thanks for the support, you guys make me feel slightly less crazy lol x

@ExhaustedPigeon1988 Doing ok, due to start stims again soon but debating whether to delay a little due to risk of catching Covid and derailing the cycle right now.

@BlueSilver23 I hear you, covid is always a worry, but tbh it could happen at any time. For me personally, I'm all about cracking on asap, it gives me focus, plus it's over sooner rather than later lol, but u appreciate everyone is different- you have to do what feels best for you x

Sorry you’ve reached your limit @ExhaustedPigeon1988 - it’s totally understandable. It’s so stressful feeling that you have to keep your eye on the ball with the clinic, as well as juggling work and the usual commitments. They are the experts and we should be able to leave them to it. I’m wondering if BH just like long cycles?! They’ve got me on 28 days of buserelin before even starting stims.

@Tiger86 I don’t understand why your dates aren’t adding up as I thought IVF dates were precise but who knows? Must be so difficult for you to be in limbo like this. I hope you have some more information soon, whichever way this goes.

@BlueSilver23 It seems absolutely rife at the moment and is a huge worry isn’t it? Me and DP are hunkering down now for the next few weeks.

@LivingonaPrayerandGin Good luck for your scan and I know it’s impossible not to worry, but I have a few friends who didn’t have symptoms this early and all was fine. It seems quite common but totally understandable that it would be reassuring to feel some changes.

@GodspeedJune please please please kick off, this is just not acceptable.... I had to do 3 weeks before adding in progynova for a further 3 weeks on my first FET. I told them I didn't want to do that this time and that I wanted natural (which appears to be a swear word to them), and the doctor immediately offered me a shorter treatment. Have you started? Was it a day 2 or a day 21 start? My first was a 21, this one will be a day 2 start, and completed within a month. They think we know no better, but it's time to stand our ground!!! X

The cynic in me thinks more meds = higher treatment cost.

Yes we started on Boxing Day on cycle day 19. Egg collection provisionally booked for first week of Feb. I’m worried about the long down regulation as I have low AMH. They’re also not scanning me before starting stims, I did email to question this and they said the period I have while on down regulation is all they need to know downreg has worked.

I did get the earlier scan booked in after your advice to be persistent with them but that’s still once I’m already on stims.

I hope you can get your treatment plan amended @ExhaustedPigeon1988 it’s ridiculous that they haven’t got it right 🤦🏼‍♀️ Xx

Honestly whenever I speak to anyone else their clinics are so much better than bourn! I'm sure I've asked before but I have a brain like a sieve- are you norwich? Is this first round? Just keep pushing is all I can say, and question EVERYTHING, as 99% of the time they haven't a clue as so many doing the same thing and no one speaks! I have actually got meds corrected today (wasn't expecting them to be working), so that makes me feel better- can't wait for period to start so can get cracking again! It a frozen transfer, so different to you, but I'm still surprised you don't have more scans before- glad you got an extra hooked though that's a start x

Don’t worry - it’s impossible to keep track of everyone’s journey. I was at Norwich, but transferred to Cambridge in the end so I can have egg collection under GA. Seems to run similarly to the Norwich clinic though, a very hands off approach once you’ve had an initial consult with the doctor. I wish they’d explain the decisions they make. So glad your meds have been resolved - it should be much better to have the transfer within a month. Less drugs for your body and hopefully less time to agonise mentally X