Anyone doing IVF at 40+ pt 2

[lucymills1234]

Setting up a new thread as the old one was nearly at the limit.

@Anxiousbuthopeful
@Islandstars
@Woodcottage1
@Unicorn9
@SerenditySunshine

@lucymills1234, the waiting is absolutely agonising. How was today, did you have any update?

@lucymills1234 so sorry the numbers weren't what you wanted them to be. I had a similar experience with my second cycle: massive drop off from what I thought was a much better starting point (11 eggs vs 4 in my first round) so I know how heartbreaking it can be. All fingers crossed that there are a couple of good quality ones in there that made it to blastocyst and that you were able to transfer. The process is so brutal, sending lots of good luck vibes your way!!

Evening All!

How are you doing @lucymills1234?

I’m about to start week 2 of TWW and all of a sudden anxiety levels are growing!!!

Have no symptoms at all and can feel my stomach churning which is a sure sign normally that my period is on the way. OTD is Friday. Not going to cave and test ad clinic won’t do anything until then anyway…… not no idea how I’ll distract myself enough until then!

Had such a good feeling about this round too 😕

Hey @Hopeful199
That second week really got to me!! Mine turned out BFN... but... i am still glad I waited until otd, I only had to hear it once, and I think it made 2ww easier to have the testing out of my hands... you'll be fine!
Look after yourself and good luck!!

I’m sorry about the BFN @LuckyNovember. Have you planned your next steps yet?

But I agree….. testing earlier just feels like the sadness prolonged. I too only want to see it once. Already trying to work out dates for an FET to try and distract myself.

Sorry about typos in previous post!!! 😬

Oh we'll definitely go again @Hopeful199 😊

I think I'd like to change clinic (didn't really like my doctor but balancing that against her knowing my file now, and whether I'd like someone else better... we'll see). I want to start ASAP but have to wait one full cycle and still waiting for AF - does anyone know how long it normally takes to start? My last progesterone/oestrogen supplement was on Friday morning...

Based on my vast experience of one whole ivf cycle 🤭, I don't think your symptoms mean anything either way... I felt brilliant in 2ww, (nothing like my usual pms 😂) and only had light cramps at all the right times, but BFN, and I've seen loads of stories of women thinking their period is coming and getting BFP. It's still a long way until Friday 🤞🏻

Hi all,

I posted in the thread back in September during my last cycle. Now starting round 2 of ivf. For my own sanity I took a break from all things fertility related after the bfn.

I’m not feeling very hopeful at the moment, and that is probably a protective mechanism. I was so sure it was going to work last time that it was a real shock when it didn’t. I’m more realistic this round.

Day 1 today and I have an appointment with the clinic tomorrow (the clinic I’m with scan a lot, including an initial scan day1, 2 or 3). Will update as I go.

I caved @LuckyNovember and @lucymills1234….

Day 8 FRER and BFN so think I am definitely out 😞

Feel so gutted as had positive feeling and felt quite excited about the process after so many futile years on naturally TTC.

Now trying to wait it out to call the clinic on Friday and then start planning for an FET.

Anxiety levels rising as that was my best embie……. Hope the others can pull through. Although if a 4AA can’t do it then not sure what will?! Really just think it is my body!!

Welcome @Bryterlayter1 - sorry for my glum update but hope you’re appointment and cycle goes well

Xx

@hopeful199 sorry to hear that. It is really bloody awful, especially when you feel it’s worked. If it is any consolation, as I understand it, the grading is just about embryo development (rather than viability). It’s perfectly possible to have a lower grade euploid embryos. There are lots of stories on here where people had a bfn with a 5aa only to have a bfp with a lower graded embryo.

@Bryterlayter1 thinking of you. Similar situation. We had first ever round in October. We both were very confident it would work until it didn't. We start second round in the coming months. I understand the defence mechanism but I guess we have to take it one scan at a time. Let us know how you get on.

Urgh @Hopeful199 I was rooting for you 😞

(I mean, I think if it's a HPT, it can still be a teeny bit early.... it's still not OTD, no? but I know that it's also about managing expectations)

One step at a time... I felt rotten on Friday (OTD - BFN 😒) and a little bit Saturday... I already feel more optimistic again... wallow as much as you need and when you're ready you can look at next steps. You have some frozen, no? Then this cycle is it even done yet!!

Thanks @LuckyNovember. I know you are right…. I guess this limbo part is the worst. Keep living in hope even though I know it is over this time 🙁 Yes thankfully we got a few to freeze so will focus my attention on those ones now. Trouble is once you wait a full cycle, basically looking at May before an FET. Just feel like time is ticking…… but need to cry it out today and breathe tomorrow!!

Thanks @Bryterlayter1. In a way I guess that is both a comfort and a worry…… as very real possibility that regardless of grade none of them are good enough quality 😣. But also realise I am spiralling into worst case scenario this evening….. so just need to pull myself together!

@lucymills1234 - hope you are ok? Have you had any more updates?

Tell me about it 🙄 I have to wait a full cycle, and all through the following one ill be travelling a bit for work, so earliest ill be able to stim again is April 😭 it take so bloody long 😩

Hi everyone,

Thanks for the messages and sorry for the absence.

@LuckyNovember I'm really sorry it wasn't better news for you. A BFN is tough to see, even if you thought you were braced for it. Planning what to do next can definitely help as you're taking control. I usually bled within about 3-4 days of stopping meds (though I bled before OTD on last transfer).

@Hopeful199 Sorry to hear your BFN news, too. I hear you on the quality point but as others have said, a 'normal' blast will trump a top graded one every time, especially at this age. Finding that normal one is the issue. My five transfers were 5AA (BFN), 5AA (BFN), 4AA (chemical), 4AB (BFN) and then a clinic mistake so don't know the grade of the 5th. Hang in there.

@Bryterlayter1 I remember you from a while back - sorry that you have to be back to IVF again. Lots of luck.

My update is that, miraculously, I did get a blast to transfer on day 5. It was only a 3AB so on paper not the strongest given previous transfers but who knows! The transfer itself was a bit tricky, so I have had a bit of cramping since. I've tried and failed not to symptom-spot after earlier transfers, so trying not to this time but it's hard. For the first time I'm on extra progesterone too (injections as well as pessaries) which will make it even more pointless trying to work out what is my body and what is the meds. The only distinct difference between my BFNs and the chemical was that I felt absolutely shattered from about 8dp5dt with the chemical... when I get to that point I know I'm going to have to stop myself from the symptom obsessing. I want to be optimistic that transfer number 6 is going to be my 'one' but there's always that voice in your head that says 'but it's never worked out before'...

Torture!

Hi all, it's gone very quiet in here! Does anyone have any updates?

@Bryterlayter1 where are you with your round?

Ging OK here thanks - almost 30 weeks now, so feeling like it will really happen now, after months of bleeding and worry.

How are you doing @lucymills1234 ? Fingers crossed for you.

@lucymills1234 all fine here. Today is 8th day of stimms. Back at the clinic tomorrow for a scan. Follicles are developing slowly, but that is normal for me. Last time EC was day 15. Dr thinks it will be a similar outcome this round too. First few weeks are pretty uneventful. How is the tww going?

@SerendipitySunshine 30 weeks! Not long now. How exciting!

How are you doing @lucymills1234 , when is OTD?

I've been throwing myself into diet, supplements, adaptogens, went for my first acupuncture (still undecided what I think about that one 🙃)... trying to set myself up as best I can for the next round... I'm very hung up on the idea that my stress levels have been counterproductive! What a revelation 🤦🏻‍♀️

I have a really demanding job and DH has had some very serious health problems the last 3 years... that with the pandemic and an early dose of covid that took me 10 months to recover!!... I'm kind of only just realising the impact this has all had on me... so... my new approach is less cortisol, more quality eggs 🧘‍♀️

Has anyone found particularly good ways to relax and lower stress through all this?

Hi, I actually can’t remember if I posted on this thread or not, I posted on a thread a few months ago but can’t seem to find it but I’m not very good on these things. Just wanted to post incase it gave anyone any hope at all. I’m almost 44 and I did 3 rounds of IVF, 13 or 14 embryos transferred in all. My last cycle was my best result quality wise ( on the face of it) and I got a positive result. I’m only 6 weeks so I’m managing my expectations. I wish everyone the best of luck! x

Hi everyone!

Ahh @SerendipitySunshine that is great news! You are nearly there!! Congrats!

@Faith78 so nice to hear a good news story! Keeping everything crossed for you that this is the one 🙏🏻 Do you mind me asking what the underlying issue was? Or unexplained?

@LuckyNovember i too recently had this revelation! Sure that I have not helped myself over the years with stress and also endo catalysts (carbs, wine, no sleep…. Basically my life for the last 20 years!) it’s def worth trying to relax and stay calm. Iv heard lots of podcasts that say it downs actually have the medical impact people say, however it does make the whole process and experience more bearable if you are calmer with it (says I who has been a wailing banshee for the last week after a BFN! 😫 I did acupuncture last time and am also not sure. I am going to change this time though to a guy but he specialises in fertility. The lady I saw before was nice but I don’t think she fully champions IVF ( she had 3 failed attempts then fell naturally) feel like someone who can work with the process might help me more?! Not sure though

@lucymills1234 I hope the TWW is going ok….. when do you test officially? Everything is crossed for you

I am still waiting to hear from the consultant about what to do next. I had horrible clotted bleeding (sorry for TMI) for the first few days so am paranoid that the endo is back and that I need to push for a new op! Just want to get on with an FET but seems no point if my insides are not good!!!!

Thanks so much! My underlying issues are endometriosis and pcos. The issue with the embryos not implanting was only ever put down to them being abnormal although I have never tested them. I had a miscarriage on round one then a couple of bio chemicals then just failed implantations. I started taking CoQ10 ubiquinol in quite a large dose for a few months and I had fertility massages, not sure if they made a difference but I did end up with better quality embryos on this round or better graded ones anyway.

Hi all, good to see all your updates!

@SerendipitySunshine wow, 30 wks! That seems to have flown but I am sure not for you... I hope this final stretch of your pregnancy is much smoother for you.

@Bryterlayter1 The early part of IVF seems to take forever, doesn't it. Fingers crossed for a good update at your scan tomorrow :)

@LuckyNovember IVF definitely takes a toll. When I look back at the last however long almost every part of life has been ruled by it. My job is demanding too, which sometimes can be useful as a place to bury my head but it's not ideal from the stress perspective. I do yoga around treatment but often it's not very comfortable during.. Like many people I've used the 'Mindful IVF' meditation app and I also use the Calm one daily in any case. Other than that nothing exciting - cooking, reading, and standard things like that are my ways to switch off. It's hard to do though.

@Faith78 Wow, congratulations! Did you pgs? Sadly I just don't think I'll have the money for another collection. I hope everything works out perfectly for you :)

@Hopeful199 I think crying after a BFN is totally normal and healthy - the sadness needs somewhere to go. It's grief of a sort and however well you think you've prepared yourself you need time to process it, so cry all you need to!

My OTD is tomorrow and I am scared to test. I had some cramps on Sunday which worried me as they were like the ones I previously had the day before a BFP... that soon turned into a chemical. The cramps faded, nothing yesterday, but today I have a more general heavy feeling across my lower stomach and twinges like AF is coming. No sign of any bleeding, but I'm on pessaries and Lubion as well so that would probably hold it off.

Other than that, I've been waking up a bit in the night feeling overheated (but also happens to me before AF) and seem to often have quite a dry mouth even though I'm hydrated. But both are hormonal reactions to the meds. At the weekend I thought breasts were maybe a teeny bit swollen but now I think I was imagining it. That and major tiredness were the only two clues I had the one time I got a BFP (though it was a chemical) so the fact I have neither is making me feel pretty pessimistic about the result.

I know I should hold on to hope but I find this bit horrible. You want to test to know, but you are so scared to see a BFN. Even though every time I've done this my rational self tries to prepare me in advance that BFN is the most likely outcome, I still feel utterly crushed to see the white window on the stick :( You'd think I'd be better at it by transfer no 6, but apparently not...

Hello!

@lucymills1234 good luck for your test...the 2ww seems to have gone fast, but probably not for you!

@Faith78 congratulations to you - sounds like you have had quite the journey, so glad you had a positive result eventually!!

@LuckyNovember it's so hard to get yourself out of being stressed. Last year I spent about 6 months waking up every morning at 3am and not being able to get back to sleep because there was so much going on at work and in my head. It eventually calmed down but it was only really when I got out of it that I realised how bad it had been. I had fertility coaching with an acupuncture which I did find helpful because it was 90 mins (indulgent, I know!) of talking about myself and then actually properly relaxing while she massaged me / stuck pins in me. I don't think it helped me get pregnant (I haven't had a session since December when she went off to India!) but it did help me relax.

I was meant to be having a consultation with my ivf clinic to start my third cycle but then had a very surprising positive test on Monday! It came completely out of the blue as the two cycles of ivf had been pretty disastrous and I really thought my eggs were knackered. @Faith78 I had also started taking lots of ubiquinol about 4 months ago so not sure if that made a difference. Super early days and I've miscarried before so probably more anxious than excited at this stage, but have booked a 6 week scan in at my clinic so at least I'll hopefully know sooner than later if it isn't viable. They offered me a pregnancy blood test and I said don't they need to do 2 (to check the hcg is increasing enough over 48 hrs), which they seemed a bit bemused by - have I got that wrong? I'm not sure what the point of just doing one blood test would be when I can just poas and I thought hcg levels could be quite variable from person to person? It is a relief to know that I am capable of getting pregnant even if I'm still very uncertain of whether it will stick!!

Sixth transfer has ended in another BFN on OTD. Feel broken. I’ve tried so so hard.