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Infertility

Our Infertility Support forum is a space to connect with others in the same position, discuss causes, treatment and IVF, and share infertility stories of hope and success.

Anyone doing IVF at 40+ pt 2

1000 replies

lucymills1234 · 20/08/2021 09:29

Setting up a new thread as the old one was nearly at the limit.

@Anxiousbuthopeful
@Islandstars
@Woodcottage1
@Unicorn9
@SerenditySunshine

OP posts:
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5
IslandStars · 18/11/2021 13:20

@lucymills1234 You've done really well to cope during such a stressful time. Best of luck for tomorrow. I've read many ladies say that each of their pregnancies were different, so it's not too alarming that you've not had the same symptoms as with your chemical.

I'm still only 5dp3dt, so implantation would happen between now and Saturday, but i'm not feeling anything. In the two previous transfers i had various 'symptoms', but turned out to be the meds anyway. I'm having to be in the office for a few weeks, so a bad result is going to be a nightmare in terms of holding it together, especially as it will be the end of the road for me.

TB1976 · 18/11/2021 13:29

Hey everyone, so some bad news from me, I went for my down reg scan yesterday, the scan showed a cyst on my right ovary and two large follicles ! So down regulation hasn't worked. The consultants have reviewed my scan and protocol and have decided that my body doesn't respond to Buserelin and that its the Buserelin that has caused the cyst to develop.

My only option now is to move to short protocol, so last night I had to take the trigger injection, which we are hoping will treat the cyst and now I have to take Noretisterone for 10days, I have a scan booked for 2nd Dec, and if all ok I can move onto stims.
Every part of this has gone wrong so far so not holding out much hope tbh.
I hope everyone is having a better journey.

lucymills1234 · 18/11/2021 21:28

How frustrating for you @TB1976. I've not heard of down reg not working but it clearly happens. When I started my first round of IVF a cyst was found but it wasn't giving off any hormones so I could go ahead. It's still there!

@IslandStars I really hope it's not the end of the road for you. This process is so cruel and the 2WW is worst of all. It's so tough juggling work and IVF - I got off the call about my botched transfer 3 minutes before I had to walk into an important meeting. My brain was a mess.

Although OTD is tomorrow I think I am completely ruled out anyway. Earlier I had quite a lot of brown discharge (sorry for TMI) and then when I went to put in a pessary, noticed pink blood. Not that much but definitely there - and I know it's too late for implantation. I've never got my period whilst on progesterone before but perhaps something was different this time - I wonder if it's connected to my oestrogen having been so high but have no clue...

Anyway, I'll see if it turns to full flow overnight. I'll test anyway to confirm but I think I'm officially looking at a decision of what next... I have a packed day of meetings from 9am so just have to get through the day first.

OP posts:
IslandStars · 19/11/2021 09:26

@TB1976 Sorry it’s so tough isn’t it, never heard of this before either, but there are just so many things which can go wrong. Short protocol is great timing wise and you don’t necessarily need to be on a low dose of stims. My clinic is all about mild IVF, but I know others have done short protocol on a higher strength, which is the same as long protocol essentially, without the down reg.

@lucymills1234 I hope you’ve had some good news & not woken up to full flow.

TB1976 · 19/11/2021 10:10

@lucymills1234 @IslandStars Thank you, just hoping the next stage is easier and goes to plan.
@lucymills1234 hope you're ok
@IslandStars I'm really hoping you have some good news

lucymills1234 · 19/11/2021 12:23

Thanks @IslandStars @TB1976

As expected, a BFN. But it's still wrecked me.

I am seeing red blood this morning, though not full flow yet. After previous transfers I didn't bleed until at least 3 days after stopping progesterone. As many of you know, this was my third cycle and fifth transfer. From my last FET (transfer 4) everything has seemed to go wrong - I discovered at that fourth transfer that one embryo didn't survive the thaw and another should never have been frozen at all so I lost two of the four embryos I had left, and also had a thinner lining that time... then onto this cycle and confusion with meds, and a disastrous mix-up with transfer... As I've started bleeding so early my progesterone levels must've been too low this time which also can't have helped. Something else to worry about if I go again.

I feel completely at my wits end. It's feeling very much like having a baby is just not going to happen for me.

OP posts:
IslandStars · 19/11/2021 12:42

@lucymills1234 So sorry, I’m really struggling for helpful words because I know how awful you’ll be feeling right now.

In terms of next steps, it’s so hard as we near 43. My last round has been terrible and hasn’t given me any reason to continue, unless of course by some major miracle this transfer has worked. My AFC hasn’t changed from 18 months ago, but quality is my problem now and that has got worse. As I’ve failed with 2 euploid transfers, it’s also put me off the donor egg option. Have you definitely ruled that out? I know you wasn’t keen and would involve a huge financial investment.

My family want me to stop if this round hasn’t worked. The continuous disappointment and cycle of stress/hope/deflation is too much, not to mention all the procedures I’ve had. I think we normalise it all, as IVF becomes our life, but maybe from the outside, it’s more visible when to draw a line and accept that IVF just doesn’t work for everyone. How i’ll cope though, is another matter.

If you’re going to do another round, I’d pressure the clinic for a free or heavily discounted one after all their mistakes.

Take care today, I hope work goes quickly.

LouScot · 19/11/2021 17:27

@lucymills1234 I'm so sorry about your bfn. It feels like you've been messed about this cycle and been let down by your clinic . Hope you take care of yourself over the next few days x

WakeuptoCake · 19/11/2021 19:14

@lucymills1234 sorry to read this. If I were you, I would get a refund from that clinic for all their mistake and take your remaining embryos elsewhere. Do another cycle elsewhere Flowers

Scrumpy10 · 20/11/2021 07:19

@lucymills1234 so very sorry to hear what you going through. It is hard to find words of comfort to be helpful. I hope the clinic are willing to make up for what they have done.

BlueSilver23 · 20/11/2021 07:35

@lucymills1234

I’m pretty new here but just saw your story. No words of wisdom but so sorry to hear this. I do hope the clinic will offer to help with another round or a refund given what’s happened but perhaps a different clinic may offer you a better piece of mind if you do choose to try again.

Scrumpy10 · 22/11/2021 21:09

Hi everyone, how is everyone doing? I think it has been a hard month for many of us.

TB1976 · 23/11/2021 09:08

@Scrumpy10 Yes I think you are right, I am having to wait to see if my AF come before my next scan 2/12, if it does and the cyst has gone I can move onto Stims, but even if all goes to plan (which is unlikely seeing as everything has gone wrong so far) there wont be time to do the transfer before Christmas, especially if I am lucky enough to have a few eggs as I will have them sent for PGT testing, so looks like this is going to go into the New Year for me, which is what I didn't really want , not another year with this hanging over me.
I hope everyone is ok

lucymills1234 · 23/11/2021 22:13

Thank you @BlueSilver23 @WakeuptoCake @Scrumpy10 @LouScot .. I will reply properly soon but trying to get my head together.

@IslandStars Fingers crossed for your OTD tomorrow x

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99pctpractice · 24/11/2021 10:09

@lucymills1234 so sorry to hear your news. You must be devastated - I really hope you’re not too demoralised and that there is another chance for you. Sending lots of hugs xxx

@TB1976 I’m sorry you’re playing the waiting game too and fingers crossed the cyst goes so you can at least have EC before Xmas.

Hoping for some more good news stories here soon!! I had my post-cycle consultation with the consultant yesterday which was tbh a bit depressing because there isn’t really much that can be done about low egg quality, which seems to be my issue. I think next cycle we’re going to go with a less medicated cycle to try to focus on quality rather than quantity and hopefully get a better result. In the meantime I’m going to have a hycosy to see if my tubes are blocked as at least then I’ll know if there’s any point in getting my hopes up each month. My next ivf cycle probably won’t be until Feb next year now. Oof! I think even though I had anticipated we might need 3 cycles of ivf (we bought a plan), I hadn’t appreciated how sad I would feel after each unsuccessful cycle and I think I had mostly been hoping that it wouldn’t take all 3 to get to a bfp. Now I am not sure what we’ll do if the third cycle doesn’t work out either….ivf is just sooo expensive and sooo uncertain!!

IslandStars · 24/11/2021 16:08

@lucymills1234 Another BFN, so end of the road for me now. Obviously this was a day 3, untested embryo, so not such a shock as 2 x euploid failing, but this one is final, so yet another blow. Hope you're finding your way through next steps.

Sorry everyone, i will have missed posts this week, i'll return in a bit when i'm more composed.

TB1976 · 24/11/2021 16:24

@IslandStars so sorry to hear this … thinking of you, take care of yourself x

LouScot · 24/11/2021 20:40

Sorry to hear your news @IslandStars. Thinking of you x

Scrumpy10 · 25/11/2021 10:18

@IslandStars so very sorry to hear this. Thinking of you and wishing for better times ahead for you. X

lucymills1234 · 26/11/2021 18:19

@IslandStars it's taken me a few days to see your update but I am really so so sorry... I imagine that walking away is the hardest blow yet, as it requires letting go of an idea and a hope that you have been pursuing so hard for so long. I don't have any words of wisdom, I'm afraid, but can only say I hope you feel that though it's far from the outcome you ever wanted, it's one you can come to live with knowing you tried all you could.

It sounds as though you have good family support which is great and I hope they're helping you through. There are definitely downsides to IVF - the emotional turmoil, your entire life being consumed by treatment and the fact that it swallows all your money to the detriment of so many other things - and I know we'd all put up with those things for a positive outcome but perhaps life will be a little lighter without those constant strains. It must be so so hard right now, I can't imagine, but I really hope that the future will work out brilliantly, even if not exactly as you planned.

@99pctpractice thank you - demoralised a good word, as is sad, frustrated, despondent! I'm waiting to see how my clinic respond and will then decide what I do next but the fact this cycle went so wrong means I'd feel things were really unresolved if I didn't try again... Sorry that you've not had a better update, it's so hard to know that egg quality is so out of our control. The hycosy sounds like a sensible move though as does the less medicated approach.

I didn't buy a package as though I now know it would've saved me a lot of money, I didn't have that chunk to spend at the start. Completely agree that each failed try really drains you. Unfortunately my family are not supportive (when I had a chemical the response was 'that's rubbish' via text and it's literally not been mentioned again since) and I do worry sometimes that internalising all the sadness and disappointment and stress is going to mean it just bursts out of me at some point.... hopefully not.

OP posts:
LouScot · 29/11/2021 19:32

Hi, just thought I'd see how everyone is? I'm so fed up - it's dark almost all the time (I'm in Scotland) , people are getting excited about Christmas and I'm just getting older and older and no further forward. A lot is my own fault, I need to just blooming pick a sperm donor and go for it, I'm just crippled with fear and part of me is incredibly sad I'm having to try to do this alone - I wanted a partner to do this with! I feel I can't meet anyone right now either until I've explored this myself and at 43 time is definitely ticking if indeed there's still any left.
Hope those of you who've had negatives recently are getting through each day. x

Lulu106 · 29/11/2021 19:59

Sending you love and light @LouScot. If to be a mum is really what you want then go for it with a donor. I waited for a partner and we didn't meet until I was 38. Little did we know that he would male factor issues even though he fathered a son in his late 30s. I would tell my younger self to have the courage to go for it with a donor in my 30s. Hindsight is 20/20 though. Just try and only think of today and find something to be grateful every day. You only have to put one foot in front of the other today. Big hugs

Hopeful199 · 29/11/2021 21:38

Hi All,

I am new here…. Just starting out on my IVF journey.

I am 40 next year and feeling pretty overwhelmed with the process and what is about to/ needs to happen!? I also have endometriosis so feel like my chances are diminished. Feeling sad but trying to be hopeful Sad

Anyone successfully had IVF at 40 (or any age) with endometriosis…… anything I can do to help myself prepare or increase my chances??

Scrumpy10 · 30/11/2021 13:08

@LouScot I would say go for it if something you really want.

I have been with my husband for 9 years but we didn't realise we had am issue until we tried to conceive a few years ago. I actually spent my adult life thinking if I had unprotected sex once I would end up being pregnant with octuplutes. I am annoyed with myself as did take a long time to get together with my husband as we were friends first.

It's hard to meet the right person. I think too much pressure is put on women to do everything. I have had exes in the past who promise me the world but then won't commit to anything. I honestly I think I lost a good part of my 20s to losers who couldn't be honest. If I had a time machine I would go back and slap my younger self in the face.

I hope in the future more is done to prolong fertility. If I ever have a child I will teach them to respect all people and be honest about their feelings and also look out for red flags in all relationships.

BlueSilver23 · 30/11/2021 14:20

@Hopeful199 just browsed this thread and can’t offer any personal experience with ivf and endo but can say my mother had me at 40 naturally with severe endometriosis after being told it was practically impossible so there is always hope! Especially with the added help of ivf. Best of luck

@LouScot I am younger than 40 but have also decided to go it alone. I say go for it!

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