Continued chat of all things IVF, FET & to feel sane...cycle buddies August/September -

[Bluemeadowbaby]

Hey ladies ☺️

A new thread to continue the one we've maxed out from the FET cycle buddies May/June. Anyone wishing to join no matter what stage you're at we're here to support you along the way.

A little background around me - I have a little boy who's 16mo from my second IVF round in 2019. I'm just embarking (restarting after covid setback) on my first FET cycle with the embryos I have in storage in the hope for baby #2 🤞🏼
I have severe endometriosis, hydrosalpinx tubes which have been removed so my only hope is for IVF to work again. It's been a long old journey but if I can give any hope, faith and a tonne of support to anyone who needs it I'm happy to share my story, updates on my cycle and be there to have a general chin wag ☺️

We've got this! ✨ x

Anybody doing fet using buserelin???

@Sweet211 I’ve done 2 FETs with buserelin to downreg, and am now doing one without. Happy to chat/answer questions if it helps. (One cycle was successful, the second was a bfn, so it deffo can work!) x

@TheDutchess3 oh sorry to hear your news - hope you are doing ok.
@2mumlife fingers crossed one of your frozen embabies is the one. How are you feeling now?
@Verbena87 exciting news re your transfer!! How many utrogestan are you on a day? I do 2 in the morning after 1st pee and lie down for about 15 mins and 1 before bed. They won't fall outXx
@Francesmalin & @PinkRose100 fingers crossed for egg collections!
It's all go isn't it.
Big hugs/ chocolate etc all round xx p. s Bake off starts tonight - yay!!

Oh i have missed so much this last week! I hope everyone's ok.. sending positive vibes all around for everyone's journeys!

@Pingupp I hope this last weeks been ok for you. Thinking about you for your next scan 🤞 x

@dutchess3 I'm really sorry about your negative result. I hope you're keeping well ❤ x

@2mumlife Amazing news about your embryos!! 🙌 x

When it comes to embryo grading, the statistics just worry me so much i try not to look 🙈
Our best 5 day blast was a BA. Having looked back at it now.. they didn't transfer that one, and instead used one of our BBs - i don't know why, but also didn't think to ask?! As it was a FET, they thawed the embryo the morning of the transfer, and it was alive and starting to re-expand. But it was actually a 1BB at point of transfer. I don't know what number it was prior to being frozen.
I'm not sure if this might provide any reassurance, but we've made it to 9 weeks so far 🤞 x

@Pingupp and @2mumlife thanks for pessary reassurance - I’ll be on 3 a day but have been told morning lunch and bedtime otherwise it’s a really long gap in the day (have to do morning at 5:30 because work), so it’s the lunch one I’m stressing about. We only have half hour lunch breaks at the moment because of split lunches for covid so it’s often hard to actually sit down once I’ve packed up the lesson before and set up for the next one.

I was just scrolling back to catch up and @Verbena87 you crack me up so much 😂 can't stuff something up my fanny... 😂 ahhhh I love people who have such a way with words, you're my kinda person 😄 ....tickled and still chuckling to myself. On a serious note... 😐 < serious face, the pessaries are always a joy aren't they. I remember my clinic saying to just do all 3 at night not because of the whole having to lay down thing but more because of the mess. Is there a reason you have to space them out this time? Also are you using the applicators for them? They're pretty long 🙈 and eh hem...the vag is quite...compact?! 🤣 so id say it'd be a good while before the casing slips out...sorry, I'm trying to be serious but you've really tickled me and I keep laughing as I type 😅 right, serious 😐 so, I do think you'll be okay with them as they react to the fluid and warmth and are pretty quick to do their thing x

@2mumlife keeping my fingers crossed for you. May I ask where you've seen/heard this info about a low chance of live birth rate for the 3BB and 3BC? Got me panicking a bit about the ones I have in storage now 🙈 x

@TheDutchess3 im so sorry to hear your news I really am 😔 take the time you need and know that we are still here for you no matter what part of the journey you're on. It's a lot to think about, take your time with it and whatever you choose to do will be the right thing for you x

So I had another little weird lovely moment today. I took my boy to a messy play - first time doing something like that on my own wanted to give myself a little confidence and you know when you gravitate towards someone? So I got chatting to a mum who's little girl was also an ivf baby using donor eggs, she also had endo, also section for breech, also doing her current FET cycle with remaining embryos and also got put back because of Covid...felt like I was talking to myself 😄 but also! She said "are you having night sweats because of norethisterone?!" Were also at the same clinic and transferring on the same week! Omg it was like someone had sent an angel to come and chat to me today. It was so welcoming and calming speaking to someone in person about their journey. We really are such strong women and should be so proud of ourselves no matter what stage were at or are getting to...we're doing the hardest, mentally and physically draining thing to create life and to me I truly believe some people are made to walk this journey because they're strong enough even when they don't feel it and can provide a love like no other - and for that, I am proud & I hope you're all very proud of yourselves too ❤️ x

@Bluemeadowbaby Your message... amazing 🥲❤❤ I am so happy for you that you met that lady today, these things are just meant to happen! X

Oh @Bluemeadowbaby that’s so lovely meeting the other mum. I threw caution to the wind and started a conversation in the waiting room with another woman yesterday. Just thought “fuck it, I can’t be the only one lonely and wishing I had someone to talk to in here!” and that was lovely too as she had 2 kids already from treatment there. Gave me a little boost of hope and was so nice having someone to wish us luck with both our partners off elsewhere due to covid restrictions.

I didn’t know you could do the pessaries all at once. They did say if I get pregnant they can swap me onto cyclogest when they order top up meds which is only twice a day. I know they shouldn’t be falling out but honestly, even after extensive physio there is no doubt on god’s green earth that a very large baby came out of my vagina the wrong way round - pretty sure my levator muscle got avulsed off the bone on one side so it is now seriously lacking in depth (prolapse ahoy) and making up for it in hip-to-hip width. The glamour, guys. The actual glamour 😳🤣

@Pingupp Feeling much the same (dissapointed, annoyed at clinic) but just in a less.... intense way lol.

@Millie029 Did they freeze yours on day 3? There is different grading on day 3 than day 5. On Day 5, you get a number for how developed the blastocyst is between 1 and 6 (they normally wont freeze anything lower than a 3) and then letter grades for the Inner Cell Mass (ICM) which develops into a fetus and the trophectoderm epithelium (TE) which develops into the placenta. Outcomes are better for embryos that are at stage 4-6 and grades AA. This is all assuming your clinic uses the same grading system of course, and there are obviously people we beat the statistics (myself not included, statistically we're crap)

@Bluemeadowbaby Table 4 of this article gives the clearest modelling I've found of your likelihood of a live birth for different gradings if you want a look:
www.rbmojournal.com/article/S1472-6483(13)00372-6/fulltext

As everyone always says though, the clinic wouldn't freeze it if they didn't think it had a chance. I'm just using it to help inform going for a double tranfer of my lower quality embryos (I wouldn't double transfer 2 higher quality embryos as I don't want twins for instance).

That's really nice you got to speak to an actual human. I had told a few close friends when we started this journey, and honestly really wish I hadn't now given that things don't look promising. A stranger would be a delight

@Verbena87 Just going to need to practice yoru kegal exercises 🤣 I found the casing still coming out for DAYS after I stopped Utrogestan last FET. Gross to think about, but reassured me that stuff stays stuck up there. I wouldn't fancy putting all 3 up at once, I reckon that would lead to more of a cascade than just walking around with 1 up there.

@2mumlife Nope, day 3 we had 10 cleavage embryos graded 3 and above. Day 5 we had 11 blastocysts and they froze 9. All frozen blasts had numbers and letters (sorry i didn't include that before). We had grades of 4BA, 3BB, 2BB and 1BB. The other 2 blasts weren't good enough quality to freeze (have no idea what they were). I'm wondering if my clinic grades slightly different? 🤔
I'll try and add the little bit of grading info they gave me just for reference.

I can see how the outcomes for the higher stages and grades are better, the research outlines it well.. It's just crap that we all have to even think about all of this!

So do you get to choose on how many embryos are transferred?
I was on 3 Utrogestan pessaries a night! It wasn't actually that bad, but had the same experience as you with the casings taking a while to come out for days after. Even after going for a wee there would be white bits floating around in the loo 🙈 x

@2mumlife I am religious about kegels, plus did a whole year of pelvic floor rehab - honestly, this is my ‘after’ and waaaaay better than it was (maybe not the right thing to say when we’re all desperately TTC but childbirth is the most irresponsible thing I’ve ever put my body through ever: way beyond various sorts of teenage stupidity or anything else I can think of - permanent life-limiting damage here. Worth it, obvs, or I wouldn’t be here, but I do think we underestimate what a body-trasher it can be.)

Egg collection went well. I ended up with 12 eggs but once again they are all immature. I really don't know what's wrong with me considering that I have unexplained infertility. I am so upset you have no idea.

@pinkrose100 how did it go for you?

@Francesmalin hello, sorry for my naivety but does that mean they can’t do anything with them at all? I’m so sorry if that is the case. Well done for getting through the day.
I was amazed they managed to get 5 from me today when we were expecting 2 at best. They said they didn’t want to mess around with them today so couldn’t say anything about quality and instead said I’d get an update tomorrow to tell me how many have fertilised. Just waiting to hear now. I’m exhausted. x

They put the eggs in a machine to try and mature them but we did the same thing last time and none matured. I have no hope at all. For now I will have a break from IVF and TTC and need to get my head around the fact I might not have children. My case should be straight forward but it's not working.

Sorry for the rant but I feel hopeless.

@pinkrose100 finger crossed for tomorrow

@Francesmalin Oww I’m so so sorry you are in that head space. It’s such a dark place. I’ve learnt to always expect failure and be pleasantly surprised rather than having hope, only to have that broken. I’ll hope on your behalf that maybe some might make it. Take your time xxx

@Francesmalin just sending a huge hug (please replace with heartfelt swearing, massive glass of wine, bath of chocolate or whatever else if you’re not a hugger) - can’t imagine how upsetting that’s been.

@2mumlife feel like I was snappy about kegels reading back, sorry. Not normally a stroppy arse (well, I try) - first day of progesterone today and my anxiety has gone thermonuclear. Is this normal? Cried for an hour this evening because I feel so worried and overwhelmed. An hour. Whilst trying to put a 4 year old to bed.

@Francesmalin sorry the outcome wasn't better. I can't imagine how you are feeling. So disappointing. Big hugs. Hope you are doing ok. Xx
@PinkRose100 hope for good things tomorrow. Xx
@Verbena87 how are you feeling and getting in with the pessaries? Xx
@Bluemeadowbaby loved reading your story about donor egg mummy xx
@Millie029 how are things with you? Xx

@Francesmalin I'm sorry to hear about the outcome with your eggs. I hope you're ok. I have 🤞 for you that the machine will work some magic xx

@Pingupp I'm ok thank you, having some rough days with symptoms. How are you doing? You've been in my thoughts xx

@Millie029 I am ok. We saw the heart beating away yesterday - such a relief but I am so conscious there is still a long way to go but at the moment - things are good. Sorry you are feeling rough. Xx

@Pingupp That it such amazing news! 💓 I'm so glad things are good with you. I can understand.. everything we go through in the ivf process to get to this point is such a rollercoaster.. But we can celebrate the little wins that come our way. Do you know what the next stage for you is now? Thank you, i don't want to sound like I'm complaining as I'm ever so grateful to have made it to this point 🙏 xx

@Millie029 Looks like grading is the same. Your clinic might also just be kinder in giving all embryos a chance, as you rarely see clinics freezing grades 1 and 2 at blastocyst. I don't know what my clinic graded the others that they didn't consider freezeable. Our clinic strongly advises elective single embryo transfer (which is what we did for our others) but we can transfer 2 of we choose.

@Verbena87 You weren't snappy. And I TOTALLY get the hormones. I've been a bit crazed past week. Not done the crying this time around, but I did a week of crying after frist egg collection. My sister is pregnant just now and her hips are disintigrating, so agree it sounds like pregnancy is hard work!

@Francesmalin I'm really sorry to hear all the eggs are immature. I can't imagine how frustrating that must be to experience this twice. Did your clinic change your protocol for this time? I know my clinic left longer between the trigger and egg collection my second time, let my follicules grow bigger and we used a different drug regime, and it did help. Its great your clinic at least is trying to mature your eggs in the lab. When will you know if its worked?

@PinkRose100 Fingers crossed for a good update for you

@Pingupp That must be very reassuring. Congratulations on being one of the lucky ones!

@2mumlife thank you. It hasn't been easy to get to this point and we are a little in shock still. My partner is sucking the whole joy out of the situation as he is expecting something to go wrong - so it's hard!
@Millie029 we have 8 wk scan on Weds and then IVF hand is over to the NHS of that is ok - praying it is ok. X

5 of my eggs successfully fertilised to embryos which is great news, I almost can't believe it, just waiting to see how many make it to day 5 now. I guess I shouldn't be so surprised this bit has worked as I've been lucky enough to be pregnant before IVF, getting to trimesters 1 & 2 lots of times in the past, before I started an enhanced miscarriage treatment plan which stopped me conceiving. One step at a time I guess.

@Francesmalin I don't suppose you had any more positive news did you? x

@Pingupp that's great news, how annoying your partner is being negative, we have to enjoy these small wins whilst we can or it would be all doom and gloom. x

Hello everyone,
Unfortunately I haven't had any news yet. I had a call with one of the consultants at my clinic this morning and I expressed my greatest disappointment with their approach and my egg collection results. I was assured that this time the eggs most likely would have matured and keep hearing from them this is a shocking results doesn't help after I spent loads of money. Now I can't afford any more cycles neither financially or emotionally. I requested for them to schedule a meeting with me next week and give me an in-depth point of view on why this has happened again. I've lost trust in their approach and I am really doubting my ability to produce good eggs. It shouldn't be the case because all my blood tests are perfect. I feel I am in a trap and the clinic cannot think outside the box nor really look into the reasons why this keeps happening. I appreciate not all eggs are mature but 12 out of 12 or 10 out of 10 is a shit result. The Dr. On the phone told me that they will look into how to change the next round of treatment which I found inappropriate. Obviously I won't have treatment with them anymore unless they give me a free cycle and a drastic protocol change. I have a lot of rage I need to take out.

@2mumlife i'd missed your post this morning. The clinic only changed the protocol slightly and I got a lower FHS dosage and the trigger was Buserelin 2ml instead of 1ml. Also in my case the clinic left longer between the trigger and egg collection but obviously something is wrong there.