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Infertility

Our Infertility Support forum is a space to connect with others in the same position, discuss causes, treatment and IVF, and share infertility stories of hope and success.

Original poster

IVF July/August 2021

969 replies

Bethpalmer20 · 30/06/2021 08:13

Hi everyone.

I couldn't find a thread for ivf cycles July/August 2021 so I hope it's OK to start one. I was on the March/April thread for my fresh cycle and it was so nice to have support from others going through the same thing.

My fresh cycle was successful but unfortunately I miscarried at 8 weeks pregnant. We are start a frozen cycle with one of our 2 frozen embryos. Aiming to start tablets around the 10th July with the hope of transfer towards the end of July.

Would love to know if anyone else is in the same boat or has any tips!

OP posts:
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beachbum85 · 26/08/2021 11:52

@Reefy I'm so, so sorry - that's really sad :( sending you a huge hug and lots of love xx

@Helene2019 I'm really sorry about your BFN too, super hard. I'll keep hoping for a big surprise on Sunday for you xx

This really hasn't been a lucky thread at all...

@Janefx40 thinking of you and sending positive thoughts for your fertilisation xx

beachbum85 · 26/08/2021 11:58

@Bethpalmer20 how are you? have you had your transfer? I hope it's all been going smoothly and you're keeping well xx

SerendipitySunshine · 26/08/2021 12:06

Sorry to hear that @reefy - it is s hard isn't it? Good luck @Helene2019 - I am due to test this weekend too but not feeling positive.

Janefx40 · 26/08/2021 12:25

We had 3 out of 6 fertilise normally. We will get an update on Day 3 at which point they will also unfreeze our other 5 and see if any make it to blastocyst for testing.

@SerendipitySunshine good luck! Have everything crossed for you.

@Bobtat how are you?

X

Helene2019 · 26/08/2021 13:41

@Janefx40 that is good news.

@serendipitySunshine I'm wishing you luck for your OTD. This thread is due a BFP soon...

beachbum85 · 26/08/2021 14:58

@Janefx40 you were right on the money there with your 2-4 estimate! I know you were hoping for more from this cycle but hopefully the 3 and many of the other 5 will make it to blasts. It's so tough waiting for updates but I have fingers and toes tightly crossed for you xx

@SerendipitySunshine best of luck! Last few days to go and then I hope it will be good news for you!

Bobtat · 26/08/2021 15:03

@SerendipitySunshine all the best. Everything crossed! 🤞🏻🤞🏻

Bobtat · 26/08/2021 15:12

@Janefx40 that sounds good! Hopefully they keep going well and developing nicely. Keep us posted.

I'm doing ok thanks. Just double checking dates again with clinic but looks like I will be starting the drugs for next FET cycle in a couple of weeks.

Reefy · 26/08/2021 16:09

@Bobtat
@beachbum85
@SerendipitySunshine
Thank you all.

@Janefx40 that's good news 🤞

💗

SerendipitySunshine · 26/08/2021 16:51

Thanks so much. I've just started bleeding with cramps so I think that might be me out. I can't get through to anyone at the clinic.

Janefx40 · 26/08/2021 17:30

@SerendipitySunshine oh no. How much blood is there? Bleeding doesn't necessarily mean you are out but it would be good to speak to the clinic. Keep trying them and let us know what they say when you get through x

SerendipitySunshine · 26/08/2021 17:34

Thanks so much @Janefx40. Still no response. I had implantation bleeding the only time I've had a BFP, but I think it was earlier and less blood. In a moment of madness I've given myself an extra shot of Lubion, just in case it's low progesterone!

Original poster
Bethpalmer20 · 26/08/2021 18:47

Thanks for checking in @beachbum85 I had my FET this afternoon. Still awkward to get the catheter through my cervix but much much smoother and less stressful than last time. It was a different doctor and she was incredibly lovely, explaining everything she was doing, showing it all on the screen and showed the release of our embryo too which is really reassuring. Everything looked perfect. Graded 4BB. Just hoping this is the one🤞 I've not been commenting much but I'm always following your journey ❤️

Thinking of you also @janefx40 and keeping everything crossed for your 3 embryos! Xx

OP posts:
Janefx40 · 26/08/2021 19:30

@SerendipitySunshine quite a lot of women get haematomas that cause bleeding and don't mean failure or miscarriage. Yes I was going to suggest some extra progesterone - because you shouldn't really bleed even if you're not pregnant. Obviously not officially sanctioned to take extra meds but I don't think it can hurt. I was on 8 cyclogest and 3 Lubion a day at one point. Must be stressful though. Fingers crossed for you.

@Bethpalmer20 glad transfer happened and that it was better than last time. Can you have a relaxing weekend and take good care of yourself?

Xxx

SerendipitySunshine · 26/08/2021 19:31

Thanks so much @Janefx40 - Thank you - you've made me feel much better!

Bobtat · 26/08/2021 21:32

@SerendipitySunshine hope you are doing ok. Thinking of you.

Janefx40 · 26/08/2021 21:32

DP just had a massive flip out and said he felt like it's all spiralled out of control and he hasn't had any choice in all of this. He's gone to bed furious with me and the whole situation. This all started because we got the bill for the PGS testing.

I feel sad that he's angry with me and worried our relationship won't recover from this. I also feel frustrated that he's only talking about this now. He says there was no point because he had no choice but he never gives me a choice because he doesn't tell me how he feels or engage with it.

I have done all this alone and it has been so lonely. I would have loved it to have been something we did together even if that meant doing less.

Anyway I'm sure he'll get over it but just hope we recover as a couple.

SerendipitySunshine · 27/08/2021 09:55

So sorry to hear that @Janefx40 - it is so hard on a relationship isn't it? I feel like women carry the burden because we go to all the appointments (apart from collection and transfer), we take all the drugs and do all the research.
I know that's not the case for everyone, but it was for me, despite having a (usually) supportive husband.
I hope it's better this morning.

My bleeding and the worst of the cramping has stopped overnight. No idea what to think.

beachbum85 · 27/08/2021 10:26

@Janefx40 I'm so sorry about all that - it's really hard and the last thing you need after all the stress of the process. Same as @SerendipitySunshine for me and I think most women in that we have to do most of the work and then also get the flak for it.... are things better this morning? I hope it was a moment of frustration and you can work through it. Sending you a big hug and we're here if you need to talk xx

@Bethpalmer20 congrats on your transfer! So good to hear that it went smoothly and your little embryo is in there. Good luck for the 2ww - I have everything crossed for you and I'm thinking of you xx

@SerendipitySunshine great that the bleeding stopped and the cramping has calmed down, but I can imagine your worry! Have you managed to get in touch with your clinic? Fingers crossed for you xx

@Bobtat glad to hear you're doing well and your FET will probably be soon :)

Original poster
Bethpalmer20 · 27/08/2021 11:05

So sorry you're having a hard time @janefx40 it really is tough on relationships. The whole process is stressful, expensive and of course no guarantee of the outcome you want which makes it incredibly hard. As @serendipitysunshine said, it's often the woman that deals with the appointments, drugs, research etc and men don't always understand how hard that can be. Our issue is male factor however it has been me arranging appointments, injecting, taking tablets, going to scans alone etc (not my partners fault at all). Give yourselves both time to cool off and then sit down and tell him how you feel. Your relationship will recover, even if it doesn't feel that way now. Ivf has, at times, put a strain on our relationship but we have always come out stronger, just give it some time. Hoping today is better for you xx

Thanks so much @beachbum85 I feel positive so far ❤️xx

OP posts:
Bobtat · 27/08/2021 12:09

@Janefx40 really is a stressful thing and sorry you feel you're doing it alone. Like @SerendipitySunshine, our issue is also male factor and yet it's me that does all the admin and undergoing all of the treatment obviously. It can be hard not to feel resentful and I'm sure there are lots of emotions whirling around for you both at the moment.

@SerendipitySunshine have you managed to speak to your clinic? Must be so stressful and confusing at the moment - thinking of you and everything crossed.

Janefx40 · 27/08/2021 13:58

@SerendipitySunshine glad bleeding has stopped but hope you can talk to the clinic. How much progesterone are you on officially?

@beachbum85 how was your scan today ?

Things were worse with DP this morning but maybe calming down now a bit. He's really angry that he feels he had no choice but to do the IVF and he didn't know how much it was going to cost. Also I am ridiculous because I always complain that we've spent nothing on the house (true) but now I've spent all our money on this so there wasn't any money for the house.

It's just taken me by surprise because we had an agreed amount to spend on the house when we bought it (not spent) and a huge amount set aside for IVF. Also he had the same access to the pricing as I did and I've told him at every point because we tend to pay half of each bill each from our separate accounts.

It's true that we don't discuss it a lot but that's because he is always so unwilling to talk about it and it's hard to raise the subject. I would love to be able to discuss it.

So it all seems a bit unfair really but also quite stressful - feeling very unloved and alone - this was meant to be a positive time - cycles finished and we're off away with friends this weekend.

I should say DP is really nice and kind. He's just quite closed down emotionally and hates the IVF.

Anyway sorry to rant - I've no one else to tell. But thank you for your words of support. Yes it seems nearly universal that we women carry the burden of the IVF and the blame when it goes wrong.

Xxx

Bobtat · 27/08/2021 14:46

@Janefx40 From what you've said below (obviously I don't know him!) I wonder if perhaps he feels he has no control over the IVF and is struggling to process the stress. I'm sure it's not easy to watch someone you love go through everything physically and emotionally that IVF brings. Maybe he doesn't want to open up those those feelings so directs anger at something measurable like finances?? Not to say that it isn't a huge financial burden but, as you say, if you've planned and agreed it all, perhaps he is just misdirecting his sadness and frustration at the process because it's too much for him to explore??? Did you manage to get any NHS funding? I've just paid for another FET about 5 mins ago - stings!

beachbum85 · 27/08/2021 18:50

@Janefx40 I'm so sorry your partner has made you feel that way and created so much stress on a supposedly relaxed weekend. I can only guess that seeing it all black on white makes it all much more real for him, especially when he's not been injecting himself and so on, and the whole thing is a lot to stomach, money wise and in every other way too. Sending you lots of love and I hope your weekend with friends goes well and things get better between you two xx

@Bethpalmer20 I'm very happy to hear you're feeling good about it all so far! xx

My scan went OK, thanks. There's 8 follicles growing, but still very slowly, so I'm on the meds over the weekend and will go in for another scan on Monday. I'm a bit worried about going 3 days without a scan but they must know what they're doing so I'm just trying to trust the process :)

SerendipitySunshine · 27/08/2021 20:56

Thanks so much @Janefx40 - I know exactly where you're coming from and it does feel very isolating. I don't feel I can talk to anyone in real life.

Yes, finally got through and they said I can take an extra cyclogest a day (currently one cyclogest and one lubion) so I'm glad I did it yesterday (albeit it was an extra lubion). If it's positive on Monday they'll top up my meds. Seems a big mountain to climb, but I've stopped bleeding, so that is a positive.

Glad your scan went well @beachbum85