IVF Feb/March 2

[SpyroC]

A new thread to carry on supporting each other as the old one was full.

Mine is now full flow too. It's not as painful as usual. It's like I had my usual pain earlier in the week with no bleeding and now the bleeding 🤷🏻‍♀️. I wish someone e could tell me what happened. I hope yours eases @Rumtopf .

Are we likely to ovulate as usual now??? A quick google says probably not.

Sorry to hear this @SpyroC and @Rumtopf - take care of yourself as the next few days pass and the emotional processing begins. Look after yourselves.

I've no idea about ovulating normally this next cycle? It'll be the "turn" of my rhs which doesn't function as well as my left so who knows?

I like to keep busy too, so have been dosing up with painkillers and clearing out the shed down the side of the house as it needs re-roofing. Our garden now looks like Steptoe's yard but we've been productive. I've had a super hot shower with my favourite clarins gel and body oil now opened a lovely bottle of red wine I treated myself to.

I hope everyone is doing ok. I really appreciate the support offered on here xx

Sorry to hear you have had a tough couple of days @Rumtopf and @spyroC. I hope you are feeling better today

@Pinktruffle how are you doing?

I'm doing ok, upping the pessaries to 3 a day has stopped the spotting it seems. Had a lot of nausea yesterday which I'm hoping is a positive sign and not just Cyclogest masking everything. Just trying to stay positive and keep going till Thursday to see if the bean is still there and growing.

How are you doing @confused107? Have the rest of you who got BFP's had any symptoms yet?

I still have no symptoms, did another test at the weekend and still positive. I’m 5 and a half weeks so I guess still too early for any real symptoms. My scan is in 2 weeks today, just wish I could fast forward time!!

@SpyroC @ChatWithMe and @Robson13 I’m so sad to read your news. I had really hoped for positives for all of you and it seems so cruel that it hasn’t worked out that way. Hopefully your teams will have been able to learn a lot from these cycles and be able to support you going forwards in terms of plans for FET or for future cycles.

@Rumtopf I felt exactly the same when my period came. Things seem to have cleared a bit for me now and I’m not thinking about it constantly anymore. It’s just so hard when there’s nothing else to distract yourself with!

I’ve been wondering about calling up my clinic and asking what their plans for FET are. I know they won’t be able to give any dates or anything like that, but I’d like to be able to talk over options for natural vs medicated FET etc. Has anyone had any luck with this or more info from their clinics?

Thanks CarbsAndCheese yeah a bit of a bummer but ciest la vie. To be honest I woke up feeling down today. I continued my cleaning spree and did some pesky tax stuff. This stuff helps distract me but its a sadness in the back of my mind that nags me at times. I told my clinic by email that my cycle was unsuccessful as I couldn't bring myself to talk about the failure by phone. They said that the doctors can't do phone followup consultations yet as they are all working with covid patients at the hospital next door. However she put my name on a waiting list for followup calls to book FET when services reopen. Who knows how long that will be but just gotta watch and wait...

Thanks @CarbsAndCheese. I called my clinic today to let them know it was unsuccessful but wanted to know whether to continue with pessaries until af came. They told me to stop taking them as that could be holding af back. I was holding onto a little hope that since af hadn't come yet maybe the pregnancy test hasn't picked it up and there might still be a chance. I just want af to come now so I can put it all to bed and move on. My clinic said that I'll get a letter in the post with regards to a follow up appointment. Last time that we we're unsuccessful, the next appointment wasn't for another 2 months so I'm expecting a long wait.

I'm so sorry about all the bad news. Glad you are feeling a little better today. It's just shit, especially when there is no clear timeframe for those that want to move on.

So glad that the spotting seems to have stopped @pinktruffle. Is your scan on Thursday? Hopefully that will be reassuring

@Twins2girls no real symptoms yet for me apart from the sore boobs. I've been doing LOTS or googling and apparently it's rare to morning sickness etc until 6 weeks so maybe we are too early. I do have a spare test so maybe I will do another text in a couple of days just in case like you did. Just need to pace myself, no way my DH will allow me to keep doing them. Already he is telling me to chill out and just wait until the scan, which is kind of impossible!

@confused107 I have another pack of tests being delivered by amazon, not sure how many more I can get away with before hubby tells me to stop 😂 I think it’s just nice to have the reassurance while we wait, I don’t even have sore boobs 😩

Homerton finally called to offer my early scan so it will happen a day shy of 9 weeks. I still need to chase the midwife apt though. I'm not taking tests because my period hasn't come and that's enough for me. Plus I'm super queasy.

They mentioned the early pregnancy ward which I hadn't heard of and I'd been to the hospital loads. The lady said I think it's in such and such ward but actually call the switchboard the day before. There may be covid patients there and it might be moved! What am I walking into?

I'm taking the train up and checking on the flat which my flatmate (colleague) and I each left when things got dicey with the empty shelves. I'm in Hampshire with my partner now and ready to move out properly and start this new life and it all feels so up in the air. Had a friend go in the flat and run all the taps this week to prevent sewer gas coming up.

Sometimes I feel like I'm pregnant in a dystopian movie. I'm pretty cold and calculated (pragmatic if you're being nice) normally but yesterday I cried during the Queen's speech. I think because it's such a uncertain time and because I knew my mom would have been watching from the US and we have no idea when we will see them again.

I'm scared to take the train and bus and go into the hospital but I need to know there's a heartbeat. And then I can move my care to Southampton which will forfeit any free future IVF attempts.

The queen's speech nearly brought a tear to my eye too PickleKid and I was only reading it!

If you have a live birth you don't qualify for more IVF anyway so not to worry. You'll feel more ready for baby when you're in your permanent home. Soon you'll be nesting ;-)

Thanks @granddesigns @confused107 and @CarbsAndCheese. I had counselling this morning which was helpful. I feel really tired at the moment. Maybe coming of the cyclogest?

Until coming on here I didn't realise how lucky I was to be having my review consultation over the phone on Wednesday! Much faster than the usual 3-4 week wait. I hope to get some answers but he will likely just confirm that my eggs are probably not the best thanks to lovely endo.

@Robson13 I asked the nurse about my af coming on otd and she said they might give me something else on top of the cyclogest next time. At least you know the cyclogest seems to do the job for when you do get a sticky bean.

I hope everyone one is ok x

@SpyroC that's really great that you're having your consultation so quickly. I've got to say..on our previous cycle I was really disappointed that it took 2 months just to get an initial consultation and then obviously after that you've got to wait for the right timing before starting the next one. I hope there's not a huge waiting list for all of us who would like to do a frozen cycle

I know if I get that far to have a live birth I will have used my chance anyway. It's just I had planned to stay in Hackney either until I used my 3 tries or I was certain a pregnancy was viable. It's scary to have gotten the new job and started the move now because it feels too soon.

I think I blocked my pain initially by keeping busy. I've just confronted my feelings and now I'm in floods of tears. So vivid is my imagination of my future baby that it feels like a bereavement believing I'll never hold them, never get to breastfeed them, never share a laugh or a cuddle, never be able to tell them I love them so much, never watch my son play with his sibling and share a closeness I had with my sister. Sorry if this hits the wrong chord. I do kinda wonder if other women feel like me, like they're experiencing a bereavement of a person that has never even been born.

@spyroC glad you managed to have a counselling session and it was helpful. Take care of yourself, it's a horrible thing to go through

@Rumtopf I hope your consultation comes through soon. Are you with a private or NHS clinic? It might be worth telling them that you are keen to proceed ASAP, maybe they will have a list of people to call as soon as they get back to normal and it would be good to get as close to the top of it as you can

@PickleKid I understand why you are concerned, but luckily so far the evidence about c-19 and pregnant women fairly positive. The best you can do is to take the best precautions that you can and try not to let it ruin the experience. If you are worried about travelling into London, is there a private clinic you could go to locally instead?

@ChatWithMe I'm so sorry you feel this way. I have been there too. Just before I started this round some friends from the village invited me to a fundraiser at our village primary school. When I got home (not helped by the wine I suppose) I was so upset. I just kept thinking that we had moved to this nice village for nothing. I was never going to have a kid that went to that school, or any or the 'motherly' experiences that my friends were having. It was a realisation that life was not likely to be the way we had planned it. Its tough. Do take the time you need and maybe look into some counselling if you think it will help

Thanks confused107. Yes I know many people have felt the same way and I'll get though it in the end x

@ChatWithMe I hope you're feeling better this morning. I too feel as though I am grieving. I started ttc before most of my friends yet most of them now have babies and toddlers. I feel as though the 2nd baby announcements will be the next thing making me feel even more left behind. I am so far coping by focusing on next steps and have written myself a little timetable as if I'm at work as I felt like I was wasting time moping around. Your clinic might also offer free counselling which I'd recommend, we did ours as a couple. X

Thanks @confused107

@Robson13 it's definitely faster than normal as I guess there not doing all the other things. Hopefully it will bring some closure at least. I really hope you don't t have to wait too long to go again too. It takes 3 months to improve egg quality so in my case I'm in less of a rush. I don't want to go again for the same thing to happen.

I keep waking up feeling really hot at 3-4am. It's been happening for over a week. I assume it's the cyclogest. I hope it wears off soon!

Thanks SpyroC yes focusing on the practicalities of the process a good way to cope. Emotions are natural and sometimes helpful but at times I find them holding me back from enjoying what I do have. Good luck for your telephone consultation. I'm on a waiting list for my telephone follow up. As for night sweats it is a side effect of the progesterone and I had it sometimes but now it's all gone I've stopped the meds. Glad it's warming up outside sunshine is great for emotional well-being. Dealing with this kinda thing during the gloomy rainy months is even worse.

@Chatwithme I'm so sorry you're feeling so down about it all. We all understand. Sometimes it feels as if the rug has been swept from under your feet and you're standing there watching other people live the life you had planned for yourself.

@confused107 I've not spoken with my clinic again, but you're right that might be a good idea. We want to be ready to go for our FET cycle as soon as is possible. We're private so I'll email my nurse and see if there's anything I need to be taking or doing and register our desire to be booked in as soon as they can.

This period is beyond horrific. I flooded 3 times yesterday and had to set an alarm to get up every 2 hours in the night. I am utterly shattered today.

Thanks Rumtopf. Gosh that sounds difficult! Do you wear sanitary pads or tampons? If it were me I'd wear both at night to reduce waking up to a mess. Good luck getting through what sounds like an awful period.

@Chatwithme I've been using both. As well as a doubled over bathsheet to lay on in bed last night too just in case. I'm sure it'll get better after today, I'd just like to get on out in the garden to take my mind of it all but every time I bend over or stand up I go dizzy and nauseous. How are you doing today?

@Rumtopf that sounds awful! I hope it doesn't last too long.
@chatwithme I totally understand how you're feeling. It is definitely a grief for what could have been. I feel like our life has been in hold for the last few years in hope of conceiving. Last year I booked an epic holiday to Australia because I was so sick of sitting around moping and waiting for it to be our turn. Shame we can't book a holiday now.