TWW Jan/Feb 2020

[41trying]

This is for ladies in there TWW that would like to chat and have a little support!

@seven201 we’ve been told nothing diet wise by our clinic other than you are currently pregnant so eat nothing you shouldn’t when pregnant (if that’s the right way round?!) But I am fortunate in that I don’t need to worry about my BMI or anything like that

We’ve been told 14 days to test from 5 day. 12 days you should be fine to test. We might do that day too but ours was also FET so no trigger for us but 12 days should be out of trigger shot range

Thanks @Minster2012 hmm interesting. I'm not sure when it matters to have blood sugar spikes (problem from pco), I'd guess maybe mainly more a thing for when the egg is developing rather than now. I'm taking metformin to control my blood sugar levels anyway so I might calm down the regime a bit now as I have a healthy range bmi. I get massive food envy so I'd be happier if I could have a bit of cake every now and again!

Sunday 16th would be 11 days post transfer so I think I'll go for then.

Thanks for your advice.

@seven201 11 days should still be ok, if you look back at people here earlier on the thread they have very very strong results at day 12 so basically if you think about it then if you test at day 11 & it’s BFN then you get your crying out of the way on your day off, then you can always leave it til OTD & test again just in case right?

@seven201 I was told no raw fish or meat, no unpasteurised dairy products, no alcohol, no caffeine, their advice follow the NHS pregnancy diet... I try and watch what I eat but if I’m going out I’m doing it to enjoy myself!

We’re told 10dpt for blood test or 12dpt for home test... I was really hoping to test on Friday (cheesy I know).l but it will a. Be too soon and b. I’ll be so fecking miserable if it’s a bfn!

Someone else shared this before and I book marked it because I thought it was useful and interesting!

www.conceptfertility.co.uk/2017/05/31/what-happens-after-an-embryo-transfer/

Thanks both. Yeah I think testing on Valentine's Day could be a bad idea. There's never a perfect time though i guess.

Out of interest what have your DHs been like after your transfers ladies? Helpful? Wanting to do everything? Not? Be by your side? Just curious

Hi hope it's okay to join this so late..

Had my third cycle (1st 10 eggs only 3 fertlised, only one for day 3 transfer but bfn; 2nd cycle 11 eggs 8 fertlised and got to day 3 they put 2 back none of the others made it to blastocyst and those 2 were bfn too, both long cycles).

This time was different. A short cycle but I was gutted when they only got 6 eggs, then devastated when only 1 fertilised. That embryo was put back today (day 5) but wasn't quite in blastocyst stage, there was the beginning of a cavity so they said they would hope it would get to blastocyst. Now in the tww torture again. We know this is the last cycle we can try with my eggs then it will be egg donor route for us to continue.

It's so horrible, wanting to get excited and be hopeful yet being aware the more hopeful you get the more it hurts if it's another bfn....

After ages of reading forums thought I'd take the step to sign up amongst people who will understand.

Wishing everyone else the best of luck too

@lls1990 welcome. Sorry you've had such a tough time of it. I hope your little egg sticks

@Minster2012 my dh has been supportive and sweet. The day after transfer we had a bit of a falling out as tensions were running high.

Hi @lls1990

@Minster2012 my husband has been exactly the same as he was before the transfer. I've got the most hideous cold (still) so I'm hoping he will step up a bit today and entertain our 3year old so I can try and get over it!

@lls1990 just wanted to say hi as I'm in the same boat as you. My embryos had the beginning of a cavity too I had 2 put back one was behind the other. I test on the 16th. I know how you are feeling its hard to be optimistic when you have had failures before, I am just telling myself they wouldn't have put them there if there was no chance. Trying to gain the balance between realistic, optimistic and totally doomed to failure his hard and I'm yo yo ing constantly! Fingers crossed for you.

Hi @lls1990 I went through the very same scenario and ended up using DE. I had to draw a line at some point and accept that my eggs weren't good quality. It's not an easy decision but it was the right one for us. Best of luck with your tww ❤️

Welcome @lls1990! Your embryo is in the best place! Fingers crossed

Thank you @seven201 & @DobbieFreeElf, yeah my DH is pretty dismissive of it & last night we had a bit of a falling out.

@stace999 is right @ills1990 they wouldn't have given you false hope by putting it back in if there wasn't a chance for it.

I was told on day 5 that I had 5 eggs that were probably going to be disposed of on day 6. One of them made an overnight improvement and ended up being frozen, so they can suddenly improve quite a bit.

@Minster2012 sorry your dh is dismissive. In what way? Just thinking you should be carrying on as normal and not wanting to discuss it? Must be frustrating.

@Minster2012 from my experience, my husband just sees each hurdle as "just another step" in the process. I struggle that I've done loads of research and learnt about everything and all the outcomes but he hasn't learnt anything that I haven't told him (and half the time I'm sure he isn't taking it in). In fact when we went in for the egg collection, after one of the doctors left us, he said to me "I didn't realise you have to be sedated"... 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

The men also don't have to deal with any hormonal changes. I tried explaining to him: "you know when you're hungry or haven't slept and you're just in a bad mood but you can't explain it, that's how women feel when ever our hormones change"...

I try not to let it wind me up and be thankful for little things... like him taking our DS to softplay this morning (I might need to make him a trophy though 🤷🏻‍♀️)!

My slow grower caught up on day 6 and got frozen and this is the one that I got bfp with!

How is everyone doing today? @quantumgirl how are you if like me you are waiting for OTS tomorrow xxx

I hate wishing time away but feel that each day is a little closer x

@DobbieFreeElf & @seven201 hes never been engaged in the process, I’ve always said about the scans, often he’s forgotten when they are then blamed work which is v stressful. We’ve had a few setbacks so i get quite worried about scans for instance. After transfer we went for a nice meal after going to see a cabin for his work. Then back to work, which was fair enough I just chilled out.
Yesterday he was meant to be looking after DS all day so he didn’t pull me around & follow the no lifting advice. So I could relax & I would walk dogs, it didn’t really happen & he was all like “you aren’t ill, you are fine it’s done”

We had planned to go for Sunday lunch today, he said last night when I arrived at the party (separately) that he had invited his brother & SIL (SIL hates any social occasion & wont talk she drains the life from anything the boys just talk, she didn’t even say hi to me last night). He then decided to stay at his parents with DS last night so he could stay drinking with his brother & mates after I said I wanted to go home (& implied I needed to I didn’t have my meds there) so I drove home on my own in tears. He doesn’t get that the first few days are a pretty important & emotional time (despite me being in tears about embryo quality Friday night) & that’s hes also meant to be looking after me & being with me. I pointed out from tomorrow which is key implantation time I still have 12kg DS to look after & 2 active dogs & he still hasn’t managed it without saying how impossible it is to entertain him without carrying him around which they explicitly said to him as well “no heavy lifting”

@mrsloub you are so close.. how are you feeling ?

Is anyone else finding the progesterone is affecting their mood? I'm really struggling with low mood and things are affecting me much more than I think is rational.

@Minster2012 oh that is crap. He's really thoughtless and minimising what you're going through. My dh can be a right uncaring moody sod sometimes, but I think everyone is just a bit crap sometimes. It doesn't mean he's a bad person otherwise. Just put yourself first and demand he helps eg when your son needs lifting. Maybe just go out by yourself to a cafe today for a few hours. Just to give yourself a bit of time to yourself.

@Stace999 my test is the 19th. Hadn't really heard of many people having them put in cavity stage so glad I'm not alone! Best of luck of the 16th

@QuantumGirl tbh I thought after the last cycle they would have recommended DE but they said give a different type of cycle a go. We don't qualify for NHS so it's all private and can't keep paying knowing my eggs are poor quality plus the emotional stress each time knowing my eggs aren't the strongest is just torture. How did you go about finding an DE? I know our clinic does it but not 100% on the process.

@seven201 he came back about 9am this morning & we’ve not really spoken much other than me saying I’m not going to lunch where we were & showing him recent messages of my trying to be nice to SIL & her being a bitch back to explain why I don’t want to socialise with her (get on well with BIL) (but that’s a bit academic as we are well into storm ciara & are in a small village & we aren’t driving anywhere it’s about 60 mph winds. We’ve agreed on going across road to pub for lunch as there have been lots of cancellations so that’s ok but I’m pissed off. He’s not usually a dick but for instance I said “you get to iron your own clothes this week” & he replied “ironings not heavy lifting don’t be ridiculous you aren’t infirm”
The world won’t implode if it’s not done for 2 weeks

@lls1990 my clinic is affiliated with London egg bank and I was fortunate to find a donor that looked just like me on paper even the blood type. I have heard that recently clinics are having more success with frozen eggs than fresh so it's a good thing to consider.

@MrsLouB not long now, I have a day of handcrafts lined up for me 🧶

@Minster2012 I hope your weekend has improved and that lunch was good. Does your dh know it's the 21st century and that men are allowed to use irons too?

So... I'm trying to be practical. What happens if I get a bfn?. How does a frozen egg transfer work? I assume there are some meds involved but not as many? I had a short cycle. When would they let me start the process (private clinic) as I wouldn't want to wait long? I tried to ask my clinic but they just brushed me off, but did say something about having to wait for another period (so 2 I guess) and having to take norethisterone again, which is annoying as you then miss out on a month of natural trying. I don't want to google as I'll get lost in there for hours and come out a bit sad and stressed I think!

@seven201 you'll need to wait one period and can start with the next one. FET can be either medicated or not, I guess it's up to the clinic. Medicated one helps planning the exact transfer date and with the non-medicated one you'll need to do more scans to see when the lining is ready. It's much much easier than fresh cycle. It helped me planning for the next cycle too, just in case. Hope this time works though!

Thank you @Viletta that's very useful to know. So when you say one period, do you mean the bleed after bfn and another one, or just the one after bfn?