Jan/Feb IVF/ICSI/FET here we go...

[sometimesalways]

Hello, starting a new thread for those of us starting a new cycle after the holidays.

My background: one successful round of ivf a few years back resulted in my lovely DS and now trying for a second. We are about to go for round 3, following 1 bfn and 1 mc.

At the moment I am waiting for af to appear. Seem to be about to ovulate according to opk. So guessing should expect af in about 2 weeks time.

Going for natural FET with progesterone support. The question for me is whether to add steroids too. A little scared of long terms risks so we will see...

@Russkispy @itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted @Christabelle89
I remember from previous threads you were doing, or thinking of doing another round in Jan?

Everybody welcome to join, wherever you are on your journey. It's a tough business, keeping company helps. Good luck!

Hello ladies, I am just checking in to say goodbye from the board and wish you all the best. I am recovering now from a ruptured ectopic, I had my left fallopian removed yesterday as an emergency. I can't really get my head around it just now, been lying here all night worrying and feeling guilty about so much stuff, particularly putting my own life at risk pursuing ivf when I have a responsibility to my family. I also have no idea how to find the space to heal and recover, especially with the coronavirus situation and everything that goes along with it work wise etc.

@Hufflepuff1 I'm so sorry you are bleeding and worried about losing your baby it's so unfair. I pray things resolve for the best for you.

You girls are all terrific and the support on this board has been amazing. A huge hug to you all ... Betty xxx

@BettySwoll0cks
Please feel free to PM me if you need to talk - I've had 2 ruptured ectopics and lost both tubes and know how awful it is xx

@Hufflepuff1 so sorry to read this. How are you feeling now? Can you call EPU?
@BettySwoll0cks oh god, so sorry you've been through this! Take care of yourself and sorry it ended like this 
@sometimesalways how are you?
@itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted are you doing freezing all?

Noooooooooo @BettySwoll0cks @Hufflepuff1 I can't believe this, I am so so sorry! Argh why does it have to be so hard! My thoughts are with you. I hope bleeding stops soon - I remember a lady on a previous board had a proper big bleed for a couple of days and had emergency scan but baby was absolutely fine. Will you try and scan at your local early pregnancy unit? I am sure the stress with the current CV situation is not helping (another level of madness that we are living in!)

Oh @BettySwoll0cks hang in there. It's too soon to think or do anything, please give yourself time to absorb and process. I hope you have a swift recovery, it sounds so stressful. Chat to us if it helps. We re here.

Afm I have my phone follow up consultation this morning. DH is pretty much ready to give up and not try again. I am almost there. Anyway we are too worried about stress and finances due to CV to try again immediately so we will see. If we do do another cycle, it won't be for a couple of months.

@Russkispy hope you're ok! Are you self isolating?

@Russkispy
At the moment Create are one of the few clinics who are carrying on as normal with transfers albeit if you get sick/have to isolate they are doing free freeze all and free frozen transfers which is one of the best support packages I've seen in response to CV - much better than most other clinics.

So I'm still planning to start stims for my final egg collection when I get my period hopefully in a week or so. I'm also pretty sure I'll elect to do a fresh transfer as that's at least 4 weeks away and hopefully things will be better by then

At least if it works 🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞 I'll be in the protected category in the event of redundancies

@itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted good luck! I think yours sounds like a sensible plan. 🤞🤞🤞

I just had my phone chat with the clinic and they suggested we try superovulation for the next cycle, so that I take less progesterone to avoid a reaction/rash that developed this last time. Has anybody tried that?
We still don't know if we want to do it. I think we will wait and see how the CV situation develops first, as it might have financial implications for us unfortunately

Thanks.. Had a scan and it shoes no heartbeat, they confirmed it looks like the start of a miscarriage. Absolutely devastated.

Everything was perfect! I had a hatching blastocyst graded at 5AB, it even went up in quality during the thawing process. I had the perfect lining! I was within a healthy bmi! I took all my supplements, did all my meds on time, took all precautions. How did this happen? I wish in a way it just hadn't of worked coz this is just awfully awfully heart breaking and I can't cope.

@Hufflepuff1
I'm so sorry 💐💐

@Hufflepuff1 i am so so sorry to hear that. I find that the worst thing in this situation is that nobody can help with an answer as to why things went wrong. I really struggle too with the idea that you can do everything just right and still get no result. It's heart breaking and in my eyes extremely frustrating. In RL i really feel I am a 'doer' so to speak, I want and always try to make things happen if I set my mind to it. And with fertility it's all so beyond our control it's maddening. Please look after yourself and allow yourself time to heal and think (or forget!).

Oh and I know that while this doesn't really offer much byway of answers, but my consultant this morning said that the vast majority of bfn and mc (over 90%, he said) are just nature and bad lack. The embryos just were not meant to be and there's nothing they/we could have done. I am not sure this is in any way helpful at this point but it does help me a bit, in the sense that it's not something I did or didn't do.

Bad luck, even
sorry

And the lines! The strongest lines ever! It's just so unfair.

I know @sometimesalways I know deep down I did all I could I just wish it wasn't so cruel. And I'm just not sure how to get over it.

@Hufflepuff1 I'm so sorry! I had a similar situation in October, everything was just perfect like your case and yet 4 days after such strong lines, I suffered a CP! How could this happen! And here I am again, with everything being perfect so far, my first scan yet to show how things are doing.
Sending you big hugs. Look after yourself at such sad time.

How are you @Hufflepuff1 @sometimesalways @itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted @BettySwoll0cks
I'm still here ...

Heey @Russkispy thank you; I am ok. DS is ill so we are self isolating at home for two weeks eeek I don't think he has cv as he only has fever, no cough whatsoever, but better safe than sorry. Both DH and I are working from home now anyway.
I think the cv situation has sort of helped in a weird way put a stop - or pause at least - on our plans. We might ttc naturally over the next couple of cycles, but we are not doing any more treatments, we don't feel safe to do so in this climate (also financially). So just sitting and waiting it out for now.

How are you @Russkispy is all ok, is your scan going ahead? Are you still on steroids? I think my clinic is weaning all the ladies off now to ensure nobody is immunocompromised. I hope everything is ok with everyone!

@BettySwoll0cks @Hufflepuff1
how are you feeling?

@itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted are you still going ahead with your cycle?

@sometimesalways sorry to hear about your DS. Hope he feels better soon! This stupid virus put so many things on hold it's unreal!
I'm ok, still going ahead with my scan on Wednesday but only going by myself as DH has to look after our DD. She can't be with my in-laws as they're over 70. And she's out of nursery too. Totally gutted about going by myself but what can I do! And still nobody knows I'm pregnant! Been feeling nauseous and tired every day for the past week or so. Yes, still on prednisolone. And still injecting progesterone every morning. Hoping and praying for good news on Wednesday 🙏🏻🤞🏻

Hi both I've not been doing well. Possibly the worst week of my life. I was convinced they got it wrong and was living in hope especially after all the googling and then it all came crashing down again on Saturday when I started bleeding again. And then again today. And I still have to take all my meds. Going back tomorrow to talk through miscarriage options, totally pooing myself as last time it just all happened naturally and I wasn't as far along. I just can't cope this time. Staying in is also worse as I would normally go out and about but most places are now closed I can't do retail therapy or go for a spa day. This just further adds to my depression.

Good luck tomorrow @Russkispy hope it goes well 🤞

Morning everyone still lurking around! Expecting to get my period today but don't mind if it's late a few days considering won't be doing anything this cycle and hoping that 4 weeks from period this month the private clinics will be treating again

@Hufflepuff1 how did you appointment go? How are you?

@itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted I so hope the clinics restart soon! 🤞🏻🤞🏻

AFM, Had my scan this morning at our local EPU where I was treated for all my miscarriages. The very same consultant wanted to monitor my current pregnancy. My husband couldn’t come in as he had to mind our little girl.

I saw my little bean and his/hers heartbeat! Oh the tears of joy and relief were just streaming down my face. I’m measured 2 days ahead and now 7w4d.

Consultant then took a little video of the scan so my husband could see it! It’s not normally allowed but he looked after me all year last year and knows our difficult journey.

He wants to rescan me in 2 weeks and I’ll be consultant led by him till the birth.

next scan will be important one as we sadly in the past had bad news at the 2nd scan. So I’m praying even harder this time !

Ladies I am sorry I disappeared! DS fell ill and I was so worried and busy looking after him, while working from home, while doing house stuff ugh what a week. He is ok now (not sure it was CV).

@Russkispy I am so so happy your scan went well! Sending all the positive thoughts in the world to you!
🤞🤞🤞 for the next one

@itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted did you period arrive? Are you skipping a month then? How frustrating but better safe than sorry I think. Things are quite intense on the health from at the moment..

@Hufflepuff1 how are you? Did you have your mc management chat, what's the next step? So sorry this is so tough, stay strong (and I don't mean don't cry. crying helps - it's a great and often much needed release)

I hope you are all well... no fertility news from me. It's all on pause, I can't even think about trying again yet. Perhaps I won't ever again, but who knows.

@sometimesalways
Glad your son is better

Looks like period finally starting for me as spotting today so cycle day 1 will probably be tomorrow. I feel ok about it though as hopefully 4 weeks from tomorrow is enough time for the clinics to be reopening but as each day goes by I feel more despondent that the closure will go on for months

I just want to get egg collection out of the way even if I can't transfer yet - fed up of the drugs taking up space in my fridge (when I need the space at the moment!) - fed up of having to buy another couple of months of expensive vitamins and supplements - fed up of not being able to plan anything - fed up of worrying how treatment will fit in with work (not to mention fear of actually getting pregnant if we are going to have a recession). Just generally fed up really!
I've generally coped very well mental health wise through 5 miscarriages and 2 ruptured ectopics in 3 years but that's because I keep busy so the lockdown down time at the moment is probably making me feel more depressed than normal

Plus my daughter said to me the other day I needed to have another baby otherwise her life would be boring 😢😢 (sat in the car and cried after that one)

Hi @sometimesalways sorry for dissappearing. I started to bleed and pass a lot of clots last week and it's now calmed down to a normal period bleed. I don't think I've passed the baby yet so I presume I'll have another scan and if its still there then they will start me on the medicated route. Now that I'm off the drugs it's all hitting me at once. I should be 8 weeks... I still don't understand what went wrong and it still doesn't make sense to me how everything was so perfect and how a 5AB embryo can end in miscarriage. I am seriously considering not doing the last one we have which is also a 5AB as I don't think I can mentally cope with another miscarriage.
It also couldn't have happened at a worse time because I can't go anywhere to get my mind off it. Not out to eat or a day out or a holiday. I have to cope with being at home which is just full of all the memories. Like how I felt when I found out, where I went, where I sat and spoke to my baby, where I nearly fell over after seeing the blood etc.
All I keep hearing is at least you have your son or at least you managed to get pregnant. My baby died, there is no "at least.'

@itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted I hear you re being inside! I hope you manage to do egg collection soon x

Saw it today

@Russkispy how are you! I have been thinking about you all ladies... but been too swamped in work/life/work-from-home madness to be too active here..
I hope all is well, what's the latest?

@Hufflepuff1 how are you feeling?
@BettySwoll0cks

@itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted I imagine it's been the waiting game on your end.. there might be light at the end of the tunnel at last?