New year, new 'starting the journey' thread

[CloudSway]

I know there are a lot of threads about people starting out, but they were all started a while ago and everyone seems a lot further ahead these days.

So.... newbies unite?

DH and I have been ttc for 2yrs. Saw our gp who ordered blood tests and sperm tests. He gave us a boat load of info..... jokes, he was pants. Told me I was 'fine' and husband was 'not fine', only detail was that DH has 4mil out of a necessary 16mil sperm, mentioned ivf and referred us to a specialist. That's all the info we got. Today I had a transabdominal and transvaginal ultrasound. It was not the most fun 20 mins of my life but it was fine, now I'm trying to play Sherlock and figure out what the random numbers the radiologist was shouting about my ovaries meant. How about you?

Because I'm early stages, I avoided forums/Google etc because I'm prone to anxiety and didn't want to panic unnecessarily. Therefore apologies but I'm still trying to figure out all the abbreviations and lingo! Also sorry, I'm naturally sarcastic and a bit sweary, but that doesn't mean I'm insensitive - it would be great to share stories and support each other here

@2fingers22018 sounds like my hubby. He does think about it and imagines what he/she may look like etc but he doesn't want to tell me in case it doesn't happen. But I'd love him to talk more to me about it. It's kinda like therapy and would feel more like we're going thru it together. I mean obviously we are but sometimes it feels lonely as it's always on my mind.

Sorry for the essay!

@squirrelnutkins1 dont apologise i rant all the time as u know lol i get it 100% it does get lonely even now ive told ppl they dnt know what to say cause theyr not goin through it! Soo frustrating that and theCONSTANT waiting the constantly being in limbo its like groundhog day x

@2fingers22018 luckily, he's really supportive and he even asks me questions sometimes. I was really surprised because anything else, he doesn't want to know!!
Yeah, I know what you mean. He is careful what he says sometimes not to upset me.
@squirrelnutkins1 I agree with you too! It is nice for them to talk and get involved as it can feel lonely.
@2fingers22018 I know where you're coming from with talking to others about it. I feel like they don't know what to say and unintentionally say the wrong things sometimes because they don't understand.
And yes, the waiting is horrible! X

Really don't know why that's all in bold lol 😳😂

@Kelly199 i feel like ive not been making it easy for my family to talk about i just feel really angry about it all recently i was cryin the other day which isnt like me..i feel like everyone has a breaking point but just need to get on with it what choice do we have? Need to get back to my running and release some stress maybe lol

It is hard. I've only told really close family. That's only because I'd told them about appts from early days and just kept updating them as we were going along.
You can only say what you feel comfortable/want as some things you don't like to say.
I can be quite selective sometimes with what I say.
Aww I'm sorry, it is just shit. Especially when those around you don't understand!
Yeah, that would be good. I need to do something to try and focus on something as a little distraction from all the wait and stress x

@Kelly199 and @2fingers22018 this is something which worries me. I'm not particularly close to family but we are due to go and see my brother on 6th April. I think as soon as I don't drink they will wonder/ask and ill need to tell them and I just can't be bothered. I wish I didn't have to worry about it. I've told some friends but I had to ask them to stop being excited because it was too hard

@veeboo say ur on antibiotics or pour ur own drinks and pretend to drink i know all the tricks offer to go to the bar if ur out..its all the questions isnt it? Ppl mean well but its like i dnt to discuss my sex life with them and you feel as if the conversation heads that way😶

Exactly! No-one ever asks with ill-intent but I really don't want to end up in a conversation with my big brother about trying for a baby. I might try antibiotics and hope they leave it but they've rarely seen me without a glass if wine so I think they will assume pregnant! And i just find that heartbreaking because obvz I'm not!

@veeboo I'm sorry you're worrying about it.
I haven't told any friends. I've always been quite reserved with friends, but very family orientated. Hence my close family know (I've been selective with who I've told so there's not many that do know). With work, I don't get to see them an awful lot anyway to be honest so it's a quick text to ask about what appointments I have etc. So not as if they're on to me in person all the time.
Just do what you feel comfortable with. If you don't want to say, why don't you just have something ready to say? It is a difficult one though. I'm really sorry you're in this shitty situation though xx

Thanks @Kelly199. It's weird isn't it. I should probably trust them to manage it more than I do. I've just had a lovely text actually from a work friend "I hope I am not stepping out of line but I sensed you are in a difficult place with trying to conceive. I have been at every stage of that journey and if you ever want someone to listen, in confidence do let me know. If now is not the right time the offer remains open. Please dont feel the need to acknowledge this, I dont want to be intrusive, I just want you know I am here for you". It made me realise I'm probably just overthinking it all!!

Ha! Thanks for the explanations, top marks all round 🤣🤣

I wish I looked forward to painting sheds, not sure I've hit adult yet... one day maybe!

@veeboo that's such a lovely text!!
No, I don't think you're overthinking it at all. Only ever say and do what you feel comfortable with. Everyone acts in a different way. Someone I've told, sometimes I wish I hadn't because all they keep saying is "you'll be fine". That's not what you want to hear when clearly it isn't 'fine'. Although, maybe I am being really unreasonable as maybe they just don't know what to say!
That is such a lovely msg though xx

@kelly199 that's a lovely message!beats my ohh you need to get a move on your biological clock is ticking comment by a college😡I'm 30ffs!i mumbled something about there being plenty of time and that we would get cracking soon....only for them to reply do you think you could be a parent??its really hard....would like to telll them about our struggles but then I feel I would always get 1000 questions or the "it will be fine" stance that people seem to take.

Oops meant @veeboo🙈🤣

@mrsmch123 really infuriating. I can't imagine ever responding like that but I guess people do because they don't know what to say. That's why I find these boards so useful!!

@Kelly199 hope your blood test goes ok! Just scrolled back to find the date lol.
Had my 26 day test on Mon. Still debating whether to ring for results or not! My hormones feel a bit all over the place today so maybe not a good idea! I burst out crying over something really silly earlier 🙄

Glad you got a nice message 😊 @veeboo

My only friend that knows (literally just her and a colleague know in the whole wide world) said the classic.... oooh maybe you'll get twins if you have to have ivf! #eyeroll

@squirrelnutkins1 aww bless you! Thank you.
How did yours go? Please tell me it wasn't the preg one again??
I know, I'm so impatient. Although, I don't even know what need there is/if I should ring after I've had my 26 ones as well because the latest is she's going to prescribe me clomid for end of month before ivf anyway? So I don't really know what she wants to check for in that case?! I'm so clueless lol.
Aww, sorry you got upset. We're here to talk on here whenever you want a rant/need someone to talk to who's understanding! Hope you're feeling better now ❤️
Omg yeah, like it's a great thing!! People and their stupid comments! You just have to try and bite your tongue sometimes otherwise I always feel like I'll burst out something I'll regret in anger!Xx

@squirrelnutkins1 I can't believe someone made that twins comment. What a plonker! Hope you're okay.

I just had hsg. It was okay and they said there were no blockages so that's a big relief.

@veeboo glad went well and no blockages!

@Kelly199 no not the preg one this time fortunately! She was brill, the gentlest person I've had! I told her as well, nice to be told you're doing a good job.

Yeah, I'm not too sure what they're checking for if you're starting clomide anyway. Maybe just for their records as a baseline result? X

@veeboo that's great news 😊😊😊 are you feeling ok? X

Well the decision about my results was taken out my hands. I got a voicemail from the fertility unit. I'm still shaking! You never know what it's going to be about.

I called back and she asked me if I've been taking the letrazole because my progesterone was so high on my results. I said no as not had a period yet.

She said my 20 day result was (I think) 56 and my 26 day result 143!!!! So she thinks I may have released two eggs!!!

My first bit of good news!!!! I know it sounds weird but my skin has been TERRIBLE and I read it can be a sign of ovulation so I was thinking in my own mind I may have ovulated.

I'm so happy. First good news in a long time!!! 😊😊😊

@squirrelnutkins1 that's good then 😊
Mine were really good today. I told her too.
The ones on Tuesday though I think are with one I've had bad experience with, so not looking forward 🙄
Yeah that's prob what it is!

Ahhhh so pleased for you!!! That's such good news!! Keep us updated!! Xx

@squirrelnutkins1 that's great news!! What's next for you? I feel okay just cramping like a bad period.