New year, new 'starting the journey' thread

[CloudSway]

I know there are a lot of threads about people starting out, but they were all started a while ago and everyone seems a lot further ahead these days.

So.... newbies unite?

DH and I have been ttc for 2yrs. Saw our gp who ordered blood tests and sperm tests. He gave us a boat load of info..... jokes, he was pants. Told me I was 'fine' and husband was 'not fine', only detail was that DH has 4mil out of a necessary 16mil sperm, mentioned ivf and referred us to a specialist. That's all the info we got. Today I had a transabdominal and transvaginal ultrasound. It was not the most fun 20 mins of my life but it was fine, now I'm trying to play Sherlock and figure out what the random numbers the radiologist was shouting about my ovaries meant. How about you?

Because I'm early stages, I avoided forums/Google etc because I'm prone to anxiety and didn't want to panic unnecessarily. Therefore apologies but I'm still trying to figure out all the abbreviations and lingo! Also sorry, I'm naturally sarcastic and a bit sweary, but that doesn't mean I'm insensitive - it would be great to share stories and support each other here

@squirrelnutkins1 last tablet tonight. Been ok again though thankfully. Trying to remain positive, but not get my hopes up too much in case it's another bfn cycle!
Aww that's nice that she was able to conceive after a long time. Still hard though for you. Just go when you're ready to. Sending hugs xx

@Maraki12 not trying to have a go, but that's quite inappropriate for this thread... 🤔

Thank you MNHQ!

Sorry to hear that @veeboo, but 10dpo is still early (my luteal phase is 12 too) but I tested on 13dpo and it was still quite light, in fact dh didn't trust it until I showed him a thread on here with someone who'd posted a really faint test and everyone commented to say it was positive. So don't panic yet. The roller-coaster is horrible but try not to jump that far ahead. X

Thank you @2fingers22018, I'm not dizzy any more, af is definitely here, much heaviee than normal but am hoping to have a good clear out and seeing this as a brand new cycle.

@Kelly199 my book came yesterday! It's really interesting. Dh was less impressed - he thinks I'm jumping ahead but it does have a section for longer term ttc but not at treatment yet so will try and follow that. I also ordered ubiquinol that I started yesterday. Undecided whether to go for 100mg a day or 200mg.

Hope you're occupational health referral comes through soon @squirrelnutkins1 and hope you like your hair!

Been a bit upset today while chatting with a colleague but she was lovely which made me cry more! Trying not to suppress the sadness and finding it does pass.

Hope everyone is OK today xxxx

@VenusStarr oh good!! I find it interesting too. Willing to try the things in the book. Although, I'd already bought new for this month so going to wait until this cycle is over with and try the new ones then. May introduce a couple of the supplements now though as will be in my system then even if I don't have my bfp this month!
Where did you get yours from? Expensive isn't it? Found on amazon, but the dosage the book recommends is only half what you'd need for the month in the book so you'd need 2 tubs just for one cycle!! It's supposed to be really good though.
Sending lots of love to you. Sometimes a cry is ok what we need to let it all off. Harder keeping it in. Hope you'll be ok (if you know what I mean by that). Xxx

@squirrelnutkins1 she sounds like a gd person to open up to tbh i know its hard but 4yrs ttc surely she d understand more than most what your going through x..r u going for a change at the hairdresser or a touch up? I was thinking the other day i need to book in a pamper session need my eyebrows done and my hair im looking a bit rough lol it perks u up a bit doesnt it 💇😊

I didn't see that comment but HQ are on the ball getting rid so fast!

@Kelly199 That's the thing, being balanced is so hard isn't it! Are you trying clomide for 6 months?

I feel like I'm a horrid friend not going and I know if I opened up she'd more than understand with going through the hard road of infertility herself but I just have such a hard time trusting people (I only know most of the things about her because others have told me, she's only told me the very basics so you can see some in one of my friendship circles aren't trustworthy - so don't see them an awful lot tbh) so I'm hoping if I get referred for counselling I can maybe get some help opening up to someone I can really trust.

My friend has her family over so I couldn't go but going next week, so I can prep myself. So instead I decided to ring the fertility unit and I've got an appt at the end of June so that's good. Obv I'd like it sooner but I know I have to wait my turn. At least it's something to aim for.

Had my blonde highlights done. Naturally fairly dark brown. Next time I might have balayage so I don't need my roots doing so much. You def deserve some pampering @2fingers22018 xx

@squirrelnutkins1 I know! By the time I'd commented, it had already been removed!
Yes, definitely. Yes, I think so. I have another 4 cycles after this one now. I think if I don't have a bfp in next 2 cycles (so once I've done 4 on clomid), I'll ask to be referred on ivf waiting list just so I have that if the clomid doesn't work for me. Just have to see what they'll say!

Yeah, maybe best not to mention to her then if you don't have that close relationship.
Hopefully the counselling will help.

It is a wait, but it's great you have something to look forward to xx

Hi all so many comments since this morning. Thanks for all the supportive mentions. I might try out that book! Everyone seems to be moving forward all be it slowly.
Thanks for swatting that troll @Kelly199!

I did have a cry in the end when my line manager rang me. She knows what's been going on and was very supportive.

I'm going to try and have a nice weekend. Does anyone have any nice plans? Also trying to take the positives as I now won't be pregnant at my friends hen do at the end of May not really better but I'm trying!

My OH still has zero sex drive and its driving me insane, i know there are probably complex reasons why but this is the 2nd cycle since my hycosy that we ve barely had sex! I was clinging to hope that this was our last chance before ivf the nurse said a lot of ppl even ppl without visible blockages get pregnant after a hycosy.

Hi all it’s been busy today! @verboo sorry you got a bfn but maybe it would be better to not test till your late? I use to test all the time and use to drove me mad I gave up on the end and even though it was upsetting when af came I hadn’t drove myself up the walk!

@kelly199 I’ve read that book also didn’t really change anything though as we were already at the appointment stage and as it’s mfi I was just trying to be healthy and so on and trying to encourage DH to be healthier to which he is and it’s obviously help as his sperm has improved!

@2fingers22018 sorry DH isn’t on the mood must be tough!

@squirrelnutkins1 you have to do what’s right for you doesn’t make you a bad friend! A good pamper always helps lift my mood

@venusStar sorry af isn’t pleasant but like you say hopefully it will be a good clear out and you can’t start a fresh cycle!

Me and DH haven’t dtd since before I started the injections haven’t felt really attractive with all the bloating and everything and I’m just exhausted! We don’t have many plans this weekend o feel like o want to sleep for a good chunk of it!

If I’ve missed anyone sorry xx

@Finallytakingtheplunge its such a massive hurdle as if we dont have enough to be dealing with im beginning to feel like everythings working against us!😧do they tel you to use protection during the whole ivf process incase it complicates things further..i know that sounds daft but because of ectopic pregnancies multiples etc

So expensive @Kelly199! These are the ones I got from amazon. Think they were about £22 for 60, but if I double up that's only a months supply. If we did the book recommendations it would cost a fortune!! Also, thank you. I do feel a bit better after a good cry, I really hope I'll be OK too, allowing myself to think that. Xx

Thank you @FinallytakingtheplungewithIVF hoping it's a good sign / omen for this month :) how are you?

Hope you are OK @2fingers22018

One more day and its the weekend again! Its mine and dh's 4 years since our first date (although we've known each other a lot longer). We're off out to dinner, going to have a rare steak and a glass of red wine 🍷 can't wait.

Thanks all. I'm really not hopeful that it's too early to test but we will see. @squirrelnutkins1 I think its very brave of you to be the bigger person and go and see her. It will be tough but possible to be happy for others and sad for ourselves at same time. Maybe play it by ear as to whether you want to tell her.

@2fingers22018 have you told your DP how you feel? Have you suggested self insemination? Our clinic just gave us some pots and pipette style syringes. I bet you could get them from boots or Ebay. They said they give them out often. As I said before my boyfriend was very against it but this cycle when he couldn't finish I suggested it and he was relieved. I also found it very easy.

@CloudSway have you got a scan tomorrow? Sorry about AF @VenusStar.

@2fingers22018 they haven’t actually said to use protection or not to either! But I am conscious that I am going on to my fertile week so don’t really want to risk it even though it’s very unlikely as start my injections on the 12th!

@venusStar I’m good thanks looking forward to it nearly being the weekend! Enjoy your date night!! Xx

@veeboo the books definitely worth a read I'd say (in my opinion).
Sending hugs. Glad manager was supportive.
No plans, but I'm sure we'll be doing something. Hope you will have a nice weekend, do you have any plans? Xx
@2fingers22018 sorry about the oh. Perhaps you could do what @veeboo was saying with self inseminating? Do you think that could be an option? Sending hugs xx
@FinallytakingtheplungewithIVF yes, that's what I'm thinking too. I'm going to change a few things, not all! It would cost a fortune to do everything it recommends. Interested in getting the Ubiquinol the most I think. Glad dh sperm improved!!
Hope you'll be ok the weekend. Horrible being bloated all the time. Xx
@VenusStarr thanks for the pic. I'll have a look at those ones! Yeah it is a lot. I'll try for a few months to see I think.
Happy anniversary! Hope you'll have a lovely date night xx

@kelly199 maybe just check with your dr as your taking the clomid aswell on sure it’s fine to take but prob just worth a call! Lol I think I’m just blaming the bloat when I think I’ve just been lazy and need to exercise so we have decided to join the gym again really enjoyed it last time (not sure it worth it though as if o get a bfp from transfer in sure I’ll be to scared to go!!) but I’ve got a few weeks and if anything it’s a good stress relief and me and DH train together which is always fun! Xx
Was hoping the weather would be a good as it’s bank holiday but woke up today and it’s been raining again!
Happy Friday everyone! Xx

@FinallytakingtheplungewithIVF yes, didn't think of that!! Suppose I better had, thank you.
Yeah I know what you mean. I think we'll be overly cautious when we get our bfps!!
Yeah it'll be good at least beforehand though. Make you both feel a little better.
Not raining with me yet, but it does look dull!
Have a lovely day and everyone else xx

Wow, so many messages! Nice to get updates from some of you that haven't been on for a while, I'm sorry it feels like it's especially tough for a lot of you right now, I'm not going to say be positive because sometimes you just have to have a cry or some wine or a shout and a swear, it's good to get it out, just don't let it drown you guys xx

@venusstarr let us know how you get on with the new tablets, I'll let you be the guinea pig lol they sound like good stuff and the price reflects that so fx. Happy anniversary! What else is on the menu? I'm all about the starters, or are you a dessert kind of girl?!

@squirrelnutkins1 glad you are taking some time for yourself, the hair sounds great, I got so lazy the last couple of years since my parentals died that I never got my hair re-dyed and now it finally looks like quite a natural ombre 🤣 not sure I'd recommend doing it that way, but it'd def cheap lol! Could you go another step and maybe have a spa day if that's your thing?

@2fingers22018 my oh is rubbish too, but we take it in turns having low sex drive which is not ideal, it's ironic that all this fertility crap is the least sexy subject in the world, think it should be the law that all fertility doctors/books/websites should only feature wildly attractive doctors and free candle lit dinner vouchers to help things along 😏 you know I'm not making light though, it's so bloody frustrating and it's hard that it becomes a means to an end x

@veeboo I am weak, couldn't resist testing early too, tested yesterday under the lie that I needed to know if I'd be on for tomorrow's scan, bfn, followed in the afternoon with super heavy af. Gutted doesn't cover it, I'm so sorry for your bfn. Its still early, but if af does come, let yourself feel it all but remember it's also a fresh start, whatever happened this cycle has nowt to do with the next. I tend to wallow, eat, cry and bitch while I'm on (good excuse so I don't feel bad too), then shake myself off when it stops so I don't go crackers. Would that work for you? What are you doing for the hen do? Love a good hen! Any good weekend plans?

My weekend involves work, then running out to this horrid scan (wasn't horrid until af arrived!) - they said it was still fine to go and because everyone seems hesitant to talk about why I needed a 2nd scan and smear test I of course automatically think cancer (anything you Google equals cancer lol) so don't want to put it off if I don't have to. I'm surprisingly not worried about the results, just the process, and concerned that they might slow down my route to ivf more than anything else! Lol got my priorities right 😋
Then off up to London for the evening with dh so that will be nice.
Also saw my gp with a list of blood tests I need done for ivf and he is happy to do all but one so I don't have to pay! He has his moments, so great news there, only one i will have to pay for is the AMH which I thought I'd had (because I'm losing track/I'm a plonker) but the clinic say if I call I can have that done before the 1st consultation so they have all the information and they can hopefully make a recommendation right away 👍

@kelly199 how have you been? Great catch on the troll, dread to think what they said! Book sounds interesting, did you order any different supplements in the end?

@cloudSway that all sounds positive for the tests you need! Sounds like things are moving along s bit Hope the scan goes well let us know how you get on! Xx

@finallytakingtheplungewithivf Ta, will do! How are you feeling at the moment? Are you still on your cocktail of meds? How are you in yourself?

@CloudSway sorry about af!! Horrible seeing bfn. I can't help testing early either!! I was trying to convince myself this month to not test until I'm late, but I'm sure by the time the tww is coming to an end, I'll have done one already!! I may wait and see if I have any differences in symptoms etc. Although I know some don't have any at that point anyway. We'll see.
Hope your scans will be ok.
Hope you'll have a nice time in London!
Really good about your gp!! It's hit and miss with them sometimes! I stick to the same one now because she's lovely and really helpful!
That'll be good so you'll have it all ready.
I'm ok thank you. Finished my last clomid tablet last night for this cycle. This time though, I'm going to try and leave dtd until Monday/Tuesday as a start as last month I started every other day from the day after last clomid, so hopefully will give better chance.
Yes, I find it interesting. I haven't yet as I think I'm going to wait until this cycle and as @FinallytakingtheplungewithIVF said, I best check with gp just in case! Xx

@cloudSway I’m good thanks! No not on any meds at the moment I will be starting them again on day 21 of this cycle which is 12th may they are being delivered early next week! I’m ok in myself my body just seems really sluggish hence rejoining the gym!

@CloudSway sorry about AF. How did your scan go? It sounds like your gp appointment went well so that's positive. I've been a bit sensitive still today but finished work early and going for a glass of wine with DP now. I've also got a prosecco brunch on Sunday when AF due to arrive so that should soften the blow. The hen do is near Bristol and Bath. We've got a big house with a pool so hopefully nice weather. It's an old school friend so it's nice when we all get together. She has asked me to give a reading at the wedding in August too. I've been holding off buying a dress incase o get pregnant hut I've promised myself I'm not I can treat myself to a really nice one!

Hope you all have good weekends.