Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Infertility

Our Infertility Support forum is a space to connect with others in the same position, discuss causes, treatment and IVF, and share infertility stories of hope and success.

Original poster

New year, new 'starting the journey' thread

999 replies

CloudSway · 22/02/2019 21:08

I know there are a lot of threads about people starting out, but they were all started a while ago and everyone seems a lot further ahead these days.

So.... newbies unite?

DH and I have been ttc for 2yrs. Saw our gp who ordered blood tests and sperm tests. He gave us a boat load of info..... jokes, he was pants. Told me I was 'fine' and husband was 'not fine', only detail was that DH has 4mil out of a necessary 16mil sperm, mentioned ivf and referred us to a specialist. That's all the info we got. Today I had a transabdominal and transvaginal ultrasound. It was not the most fun 20 mins of my life but it was fine, now I'm trying to play Sherlock and figure out what the random numbers the radiologist was shouting about my ovaries meant. How about you?

Because I'm early stages, I avoided forums/Google etc because I'm prone to anxiety and didn't want to panic unnecessarily. Therefore apologies but I'm still trying to figure out all the abbreviations and lingo! Also sorry, I'm naturally sarcastic and a bit sweary, but that doesn't mean I'm insensitive - it would be great to share stories and support each other here Smile

OP posts:
Kelly199 · 05/03/2019 12:53

@Nataliejayne26 try and call your gp to see if there's anywhere else he can have his SA done? I don't know what others have experienced, but that was the one thing that wasn't a wait for my partner and I?
We went to the gp and he gave us forms to take with us and we had a choice of 2 hospitals and we had to ring and book it ourselves (which I preferred anyway) xx

Nataliejayne26 · 05/03/2019 12:58

We had to phone for our own appointment for SA but where we live it's a one day a week clinic Sad I have been back to gp and she told me to ring to see if they have cancellelations and we are currently doing this daily.

squirrelnutkins1 · 05/03/2019 13:00

I asked if I need to ring for my 20/26 day results before starting the letrozole but they said no. I was like what about hyperstimulation syndrome.
Doc said it's very rare so I don't need to worry myself about that. @Kelly199

@FinallytakingtheplungewithIVF
I've only told one friend and one colleague (her daughter has been thru similar). My family don't know anything about it.
I was so nervous telling my friend and I just cried and cried through telling her but Ive found it really good to have someone to talk to in real life about it.

Nataliejayne26 · 05/03/2019 13:01

Your so right on the suspense I feel relieved that I'm finally getting somewhere. And I dont want this to sound horrible to the drs but after being made to feel like I was imagining my problem they made me wait nearly 6 years before taking me seriously Sad I cant afford private ivf so will have to wait. Thank you so much for sharing your story with me

squirrelnutkins1 · 05/03/2019 13:02

Welcome newbies 👋🏻👋🏻👋🏻 sorry you're going through this but we're all here for you 😊

squirrelnutkins1 · 05/03/2019 13:04

@Nataliejayne26 you're right, unfortunately it can take a long time to be believed and get diagnosed.
I was 20 when I first went to the docs, not ttc, but horrendous periods and I was treated like a naughty winey child. When they finally sent me for a lap my gp ended up being a bit sheepish because they found endometriosis.

Nataliejayne26 · 05/03/2019 13:12

@squirrelnutkins1 I'm sorry to hear about your endo. That's why my gynie ended up doing laparoscopy. Are you ttc now or have you already conceived?

squirrelnutkins1 · 05/03/2019 13:21

@Nataliejayne26 18 months ttc with not even a sniff of a BFP ☹️

Kelly199 · 05/03/2019 13:28

@squirrelnutkins1 I know, I'm going to ask my gp after bloods!
@Nataliejayne26 it's wrong they made you wait that long! No, I couldn't afford ivf privately either. I'd had the private tests so I could start digging further into what my treatment plan could be. Will hopefully know by the end of this month after my new bloods! If I need ivf, I will need to wait on nhs too. Horrible!

Nataliejayne26 · 05/03/2019 13:32

@kelly199 I wish you all the best for your results.
Its lovely to know theres people out there willing to talk about it. I'm currently unable to tell my friends as they all have babys and wouldn't understand the heart ache.
Do you mind me asking how much the initial tests set you back?
Hopefully we will both get there soon x

Kelly199 · 05/03/2019 13:54

@Nataliejayne26 thank you, wish you the best going forward too!
I know what you mean, sounds really selfish and horrible, but I don't like bothering with friends with babies after the struggle I've had ttc. I know it sounds awful, but I just really struggle to pretend I'm ok. What's more annoying is most had not even tried and was a surprise! Just makes it a harder pill to swallow!
Of course, I don't mind.
The consultation was £140. I wanted to pay for this as I know I have waited a long time anyway, but as it was a long wait before being seen, I just wanted to know what was wrong and what treatment plan is be given. I don't mind waiting for the actual treatment then if it comes to ivf because I can't afford that privately anyway.
The scan then was £310. My partner and I decided to have that privately as it can only be done on specific days in your cycle and it just so happened that on my consultation appt, it was the day I could have it done. She told me if I waited on nhs she only does 1 a week (hope she meant one day!) and that so many people are waiting and hard to get appt so would just have to ring again if they didn't have any appts left. I spoke to my partner and agreed to have private as could go on forever if you're trying to get through and their taken, then will have to wait another month to try them because of only being able to have it a few days in your cycle. Also if it fell ok wknd etc. And clinic closed.
Will have everything else done on nhs now though xx

veeboo · 05/03/2019 13:56

Hi all. Please can I join? I think this might be a better board from me than the buses which are slowly draining my energy every time I get a BFN.

I am 32 ttc#1. I came off the pill Jan 18 but DP struggles with ED so I don't think we really got into our stride until Julyish and we only manage to DTD about twice a month.

Interesting to read about all the different experiences with NHS. We got referred to fertility clinic in Jan. DPs SA was fine. My bloods and ultrasound were good. I have my HSG next week then they said if that's clear they will refer to IUI. This hospital doesn't do IVF so think they refer elsewhere if you need that.

Nataliejayne26 · 05/03/2019 14:06

@kelly199 I completely get that, my sister got bfp 3 months ago after being off the pill 4 weeks I resented her for this but wasnt her fault I have the problems I do.
It really is just a waiting game isn't it.Sad
If you did ever need a rant or someone understanding I'm here hun Smile we will get thos bfp we want so badly xx

Kelly199 · 05/03/2019 14:15

@veeboo welcome. Good luck for your scan next week!
@Nataliejayne26 I know. Part of you is happy and like you said, they can't help it, but it's the other part of you that secretly dies inside. Makes it 10x worse.
Same to you too!! And everyone else. At least we have each other to vent to! Xx Smile

squirrelnutkins1 · 05/03/2019 14:27

Just had my blood test. Isn't the universe unfair.... out of the 4 people that could've done it I got the heavily pregnant one 🥺🙄🙄

Nataliejayne26 · 05/03/2019 14:30

@squirrelnutkins1 I'm so sorry. Always seems like when you struggle theres something to slap you in the face sending hugs zx

@kelly199 you are so right. No matter how happy you try to be for other people theres always that niggle in the back of your brain. Xx

Kelly199 · 05/03/2019 14:35

@squirrelnutkins1 it is just shit and typical!! Hope you're ok. Sending hugs too! Xx

@Nataliejayne26 think it will be there until we're lucky enough ourselves! Xx

Nataliejayne26 · 05/03/2019 14:39

@kelly199 I have my fingers crossed so tightly that we all get what were hoping for xx

Kelly199 · 05/03/2019 14:42

@Nataliejayne26 me too!! Xx

Original poster
CloudSway · 05/03/2019 16:17

@Nataliejayne26 hi and welcome!

We were incredibly lucky in that we waited under a week for a sperm test. We did however go to the doc's in the first week of January which is probably a quiet time, but also our area doesn't offer any fertility treatments under nhs so I suspect tests to investigate are nowhere near as busy. If you are in an area that offers treatments, is there anyway you can ask to be referred to another area? Or even bite the bullet and pay if you're able? Once the tests came back we got a choice of hospitals, one was 3 month wait, the other was one month, so you won't necessarily be waiting for ages again.

Hi to @Claudie86 too. I know what you mean, but don't feel too isolated. All this is a pain in the arse and terribly unfair, but theres loads of us in the same boat. Once i mentioned if to a few friends every single person knew someone who had struggled, so its more common than you think x

OP posts:
Claudie86 · 05/03/2019 16:26

Thanks @CloudSway 😊 I'm going to tell a couple of friends in the next few weeks so at least they know what's up.

Got my period yesterday by the way, so tomorrow I'm going to the hospital for some blood work and to do an ultrasound to check what's the situation ahead of IVF! Fingers crossed it will all turn out good!

FinallytakingtheplungewithIVF · 05/03/2019 18:03

Wow it got busy this afternoon!!

Hello to all the newbies and good luck for everyone having tests and scans done!!

I feel for those that have a long wait it’s so hard when you have to wait for tests and then be told after your in another waiting list! As I have a child already from previous relationship our only was private! So I’d agree we @kelly199 if you can afford to get any of the test required then do it at least it might help you feel more in control Smile

veeboo · 06/03/2019 07:46

Hi @CloudSway can I ask how it works if your area doesn't offer you treatment do you just get to have it in a different area or not at all?

@Claudie86 we've started telling people now. It feels like such a big part of our lives atm that not telling people creates a bit of a barrier to normal conversation. I've told work now too because of all the appointments and they've been fab. I found with friends that at first they got all excited which was tough but when I told them how that made me feel they adapted and it's definitely helpful but I've chosen who I tell carefully.

Original poster
CloudSway · 06/03/2019 10:23

@veeboo I had the same thing, told my boss because of all the appointments and she was really great except she was and continues to be excited for me. It's hard to explain that sometimes it's exciting, but mostly it's just a bit shit, something I have to put up with.

If I'm honest I don't know exactly how it works, but I'm pretty sure you can't go nhs in another area unless you move to that area. I get super anxious so I'm deliberately trying not to obsess over it, but I said to the others here I'm un/fortunately in a position where we wont struggle too badly to pay because my parents died a year back, so i have some inheritance. Awful and rubbish, but nice to think some positive may come out of it. Occasionally feel like I'm trading in parents for a baby, but I try not to think too much about it!!! 😳🙂

OP posts:
veeboo · 06/03/2019 11:03

Oh gosh @CloudSway thats a lot to deal with. Maybe see it as them supporting you to grow the family. I lost my mum when I was younger So if you ever need to talk about that I'm here.

Really crappy that some people have to pay while others dont. I've tried not to ask too far ahead but I assume if we needed ivf we'd need to pay as they only offer IUI at our hospital.