Anyone else just starting their journey ?

[TTC73]

DH is going for his sperm sample to be tested today and hes so nervous and the GP wants me to have some blood tests done and swabs at a later date. So nervous of what to expect and terrified of the possibility of IVF I've heard its so painful ?
We've been trying to have a baby for over 3yrs with 2 chemical pregnancies so far

Thisisyour - DH and I have been very open about our infertility struggles, and I’ve definitely found it has helped. I’ve also been open with my work.

We are ttc#2 and to be frank there’s a societal expectation that you are fertile if you’ve got one already, and I got uncomfortable with not being transparent, particularly as before we started ttc this time around (when DS turned one), we’d been very open about wanting another and that we wanted a small gap . DS is now 2.5 and the smallest gap we’ll end up with even if round 1 of IVF/ ICSI is successful is 3.5 years, but if we end up needing all three cycles, it could we’ll end up being 4.5 years (hardly the 2 year gap I was originally planning)... I’m also mindful that we might not have another at all...

Thisisyour - That is not to say that everyone “gets it”. Most of my friends have been very sympathetic, particularly those who’ve faced struggles elsewhere in their lives, and can therefore empathise, but it is very tough.

I have family members (including my Mum) who don’t seem to get it at all. Pregnancy announcements can still feel like a slap across the face, particularly when you know that those announcing will literally have been ttc for all of 5 minutes, but the fact that others know means that I’ve managed to avoid face to face announcements for a while...

Looking at the calendar I am out for next month already due to DH work dates. This month I have no idea what’s going on. Fertility friend reckons I ovulated on CD13 which would be very early for me (average is CD16) but haven’t had a positive poke yet and it’s CD17 today. Normally the two match up so not sure. Obviously we’ve kept DTD as much as we can but I’m just a bit sick of all the uncertainty. I’m sick of trying so hard to ‘get it right’ and failing. I’m sick of seeing pregnant people everywhere and instantly feeling jealous. TTC is turning me into someone I don’t want to be.

@cariad, yes, for some reason I still hang on to hope every month for some kind of miracle, even though we've been told that after such a long time and with DPs morphology our chances of natural conception are only 1%..... crazy! But I can't help but hang in there for that one amazing sperm that manages to get through, and it kills me.

If I was 30 or under then maybe I'd be willing to give it another few months of trying naturally, but at 38 I feel my time is running out. I'll also have a big age gap (if I ever have another one at all...) and may end up delivering a baby in my forties, which I am not keen on either.....

At least with ivf we've been given a 35% chance of success, so there is actually something more likely to be hopeful about! And I am not wasting my hope on something almost impossible...

We are also going for three rounds only, for mainly financial but also sanity reasons....!

@Lopey i know its soo shit and unfair @Cariad sorry ur mum doesnt understand as u said ppl who have been through this or sumthin else out of their control are more sympathetic to ppl ttc..especially the fear no one knows the fear like we do..the fear that it will never happen is the worst. I cling onto hope aswell its all we can do at this point lifes cruel! I sometimes wonder why i even put myself through this @MrsJones ive had ff tell me i ovulated before a +opk if its too early for ur usual cycle id say wait it out for the +opk because later on in my cycle i had a temp dip followed by 3rises again and it changed my ovulation date to the same time as +opk. Its practically impossible to take temps accurately in this bloody hot spell!

@Lopey when r u starting ivf?..ur right if i was u id throw myself into the ivf ur odds are soo much better..have u not been offered it on nhs? Or do they not offer to ppl who already have children? Sorry if im wrong think i read that somewhere..seems a bit heartless tho

Hello, I am new in the group.I am a little bit nervous because I have been referred to IVF so just waiting for the approval which I hope we will get.nhs funds 2 fresh and 2 frozen rounds.I am going to the opening evening this week and I can't stop thinking about it.i have not started yet but just the fact of going to this meeting makes me feel anxious.i feel sad that we have to do this to have a baby when everyone seems to get pregnant so easily.has anyone been in opening evenings before?which kind of questions shall I ask?

@thisisouryrFX18 I’ve had positive this morning. So FF has removed crosshairs now. We DTD last night. We know DH has low sperm count and low motility. So do we DTD tonight or wait until tomorrow baring in mind positive today?

@thisisour, we're starting ivf either this week or next!! Moving very fast. It all depends on when my period comes...which is usually pretty regular, but the excitement may be messing things up! For example, ff said i ovulated on day 12 this month, which is crazy early for me....usually o day 16! Thankfully after adding more data it has now changed it to day 14, which fits a bit better. Also my luteal phase temps have been really low, like 36.2 degrees! There was still a step up at o but all in all a bit odd. Apparently ivf can throw out the most regular of people; it's the stress and anticipation!

The drugs are being delivered this week! I have to speak to my boss today about taking random days off with barely any notice for the various appointments: this for me is the scariest part of all....wish me luck!

@cariad, just wondering, how come you are doing long protocol? I wasn't given an option: they just presented me with short. It wasn't even discussed; I just read it on the front of my notes. I believe short is much more common these days. What are the reasons behind doing long?

Lopey - that sounds super exciting. I shall be keeping everything crossed for you. Please do share all your experiences - I need to swot up as much as I can.

At our clinic, I was told that they typically do the short protocol for poor responders and those with excellent results (i.e. good antral follicle count and AMH over 18). My AMH results just met the cut off for excellent at 17.8 so I’m in the middling category of not excellent and not terrible for which they prescribe the longer form.

Meant to write that my AMH results fell short of the cut off point for excellent at my clinic...

Hi @Guio ive never been but sum of the ladies on here will prob b able to help u just wantd to say hi and gd luck x @MrsJones sorry i wasnt feelin gd yest idv dtd yest did u? @Lopey yh ur better off telling ur work then theyl understand any mood swings or if u dnt feel well aswell it does sound scarey tho u dnt know how they will react. The only thing i will say is id keep a note of everything they say or take a collegue in as a witness cause i would think legally they have to help u out x

How did your chat with work go Lopey? I hope they were sympathetic. The last thing you need is an unsympathetic employer when going through the upheaval of IVF.

@cariad oh God I chickened out!! Was waiting for the right moment then when I went to find boss for an "informal chat" she had already gone home!

Anyway I have written an email and asked for a meeting, hopefully tomorrow. I'm sure it will be fine. But for me it definitively is the scariest part!! That really says something about me and work....an unhealthy relationship if ever there was one. I let it take over my life. I keep telling myself, I deserve this, I deserve a break. For once, I come first and work can wait!

That's interesting what you said about long vs short protocol. I never got my AMH results: was just told that they were normal for my age. I would like to know the number though; I must ask next time I'm there.

My drugs are being delivered to my work on Friday as we are never in to sign for them at home. So that will be interesting... I also parted with over five and a half thousand pounds today over the phone in paying for my drugs and treatment....so there goes years and years or savings....! I hope it will be worth it. Fingers crossed we are lucky!

Hi, me and my partner have been trying to conceive for over 7 years. We attended a fertility clinic 3 years ago but due to my weight they wouldn't help us. Ive now lost the weight and we returned to the clinic at the end of May where I had a transvaginal scan which came back fine and some other tests and my partner is to return his semen analysis tomorrow. In the past his semen has been tested and is fine. My period was is due to start today and I thought it had as I went the loo earlier and there was some blood when wiping however this was about 8 hours ago and now there is nothing on the pad or when I wipe. Has this ever happened to anyone before? It's very confusing! X

sometimes my period takes a day or two to actually start properly it's normal this month i had brown spotting and a bit of blood for two days before it was due and then it just started as normal on the due date

@Lopey i hope u get it over n done with today im the same i feel like im affecting them if i ask for time off, but like u said its time for us to put ourselves first. End of the day everybody else does and at least u can look back and say ive tried EVERYTHING, i really hope it works for u x

@MrsJones this is what i mean about ff my cycles are normally about 41/42 days and its saying ive ovulated(way too early). I bet u itl change it in a wk or 2

@thisisouryrfx18 thanks for that. Mine has now removed cross hairs. Looking at it I think I ovulated yesterday based on dip and opk. That would be much more sensible suggestion for me haha!

I’ve attached a pic. What do you think?

@MrsJones yh that makes more sense if it was yest itl prob put the cross hairs on in a couple of days if u have 2more high temps..ff is gd for keeping a record of ur temps but its not very accurate with ovulation sumtimes have u been using it long? U think it would know by ur last cycle that it was too early for ovulation..oh well fx for u hun ❤ u just need to get through the annoying tww now

Just back from the docs ladies and im pretty happy that she was soo nice. Im getting bloods done to check that i ovulate and im being referred to a gynaecologist

DH just got a phonecall from GP asking for him to do a 2nd sperm sample in 2 months !! We don't even get the results of the 1st one for another weeks why would they request another ??

@TTC73 my DH needed his repeating aswell. When we received the results for the 2nd one, we asked for a printout of both results and the first one was 'borderline', so I guess that's why they wanted another sample. I think it's quite common for them to ask for repeats.

What did borderline mean ? He's scared they've asked for another because they can't find anything at all and he's infertile