Trying to conceive baby#2 following ivf treatment for #1

[lucieloos]

I thought I would start this thread as I can't see anything similar. We underwent many rounds of icsi and following a couple of bfns, and an ectopic pregnancy we were finally blessed with our beautiful daughter last year.

We recently started thinking about baby no 2 and had 4 frozen embryos of which 2 had been tested and found to be chromosomally normal so are meant to have a better chance. We didnt have the other 2 tested.

A couple of weeks back we had our first fet with one of the tested embryos and got a bfp super early at 4dp5dt. Sadly by 8dpt the line was barely visible and resulted in a chemical pregnancy. I've been feeling really down about it as this was meant to be a super duper embryo with no genetic problems which they said was the main reason embryos fail.

I thought it would be easier trying for #2 and of course it is in a way as I realise how lucky I am to have had a baby but I can feel the infertility fog starting to descend again as I realise although I've had a brief respite I will never be like my fertile friends and I do really want another baby and a sibling for my little girl.

Im feeling a bit negative at the moment. We will probably go back for the other tested embryo in the near future but I can't see how I would ever get lucky enough to get 2 bfps in a row. These things just don't happen to me so just not too hopeful about it at all. We said that if we used all of our frosties with no success we would be happy with what we have but already I am thinking should I do more fresh cycles. I will be 39 soon though so time isn't on my side for that.

Anyway just wondering if anyone else is in a similar situation and would like to share the journey. Please come and say hi.

Thanks everyone for your help. X

Hi all, hope you are doing OK. cupcakes was really sad to hear your news. Thinking of you.

Well we have been gearing up to get ready to start our FET cycle next month on 14th May or thereabouts. It has been a real nightmare trying to get ready for it for a variety of reasons not least financial concerns, explanations to a friend about being sober at her hen do (would be in 2ww) not to mention the mental and emotional preparations...

So to today...Found out my thyroid is not in range (TSH moving towards hyper at 0.059. Normal range should be 0.2-2 so this is well out. My TSH levels have bounced around for the past year, from hyper to hypo with various medication tweaks. Thing is I feel fine, good even which is a change for me!

The clinic informed me that they would need my thyroid to stabilise before they would treat me. So could be a couple of months at least. I know it sounds like not a big deal but I was so ready to get started! Can't believe we have to wait :( Booo!

Oh jen how disappointing. So annoying when you hear yourself up for things and then have to delay. On the plus side, it’s good they’ve picked up your thyroid isn’t right as it has a really negative impact on success rates. How are you feeling? With numbers like that you must be pretty exhausted. Was your thyroid like that first time round or is this a new thing for you?

Sorry to hear that jen I always found the waiting the hardest but as snow days at least they've picked up on the thyroid issue and something can be done.

Good luck with scan today snow!

Just came back from scan. Lining is already at 9.5-10mm do doctor wants to do transfer ASAP. So likely Saturday. Have to start progesterone today and pred today as well. Wasn’t ready for this! I was expecting it to be next week. It’s my birthday on Saturday too - was looking forward to a boozy dinner Saturday night to celebrate

That's brilliant news snow! Mine was 11mm on my day 12 scan but I still waited until day 16 to start progesterone as it was more convenient to have day 21 transfer. I don't think you have to rush and have a transfer as soon as the lining is good but it's exciting anyway that it's Saturday! You will have to have a couple of drinks Friday night instead!!

@Jenbot78 - that's so annoying! I agree - the waiting is the worst. But it's good they picked it up now?

@Snowdayfet - whoop! How exciting! Good luck for Saturday, let's hope missing your birthday celebrations is worth it

lucie I am not sure why he wants to start so soon but he was quite insistent that we do it this weekend. Was surprised the clinic was even open tbh!

Am amazed my lining is so good, on my first FET that produced my son it only ever got to 7.5mm so this is great. I didn’t have a super heavy period so hoping there isn’t old stuff in there so it’s a bad quality lining. I guess I’ll just have to cross fingers and hope!

Snow exciting, fingers crossed for Saturday! Thanks for all your words, is true it is just disappointing but sort of getting my head around it now. Am glad clinic is so thorough, just annoyed about this stupid body of mine. The thyroid issue is a longstanding one, and the autoimmune element is believed to be playing a big part in why I can't conceive. No-one ever found any other reason. The numbers have been fluctuating wildly since I had my DD. I thought it had calmed down. Ho hum. Could be another 2-3 months maybe. I had this thing in my head that I wanted to have another baby when I was 40, and before I turned 41. Starting to think maybe this is putting a lot of pressure on the situation! I turn 40 in just over a week so I think that is playing a part. Never thought when I was 34 and starting TTC that I would be still on this treadmill. Ho hum.

My SIL who is the sprightly age of 29 has announced her pregnancy. She is lovely and I am pleased for her. But so jealous of the uncomplicated 2 months of trying that she has had. She is going for her scan on Friday and isn't even nervous at all, just excited. Can't imagine ever feeling like that after all that we have been through. I know you ladies get it!

Lucie is it your scan soon? Hope all goes well!

jen I hear you, I can’t believe I’ll be 38 soon! I think sometimes we (I) get so caught up in things happening st particular times and the fact is that you can’t control it. But better to delay than waste an embryo.

Cannot relate at all to your SIL. The idea of having sex a few times over 2 months and getting pregnant just does not compute. And I didn’t relax all the way through my last pregnancy until my son was in my arms, and if im lucky enough to get pregnant again I know I won’t relax this time round either.

Snow helpful words...I have definitely been guilty of worrying about doing things at a certain age! I was chatting to my friend who is nearly 40 and pregnant after two difficult losses. She pointed out all the good points of having a baby a bit older. It defo helped!

All this talk of 'older mums' is really helping! If my last cycle has worked I would've given birth while I was still 39. Doing the FET will mean I give birth when I've just turned 40 (thinking positive!).

I'll be happy for another child whether I'm 39 or 40 now! Just want it to work so much!

PS - people have sex and fall pregnant?! DOES NOT COMPUTE!

Would anyone like to share how they prepare for a FET?

Hi 👋 ive just had a quick catch up. @Snowdayfet eeek that's all happened a bit quick and typical timing so you can't have a birthday drink of course 

@Jenbot78 Sorry for the delay, so frustrating. I hope your bloods stabilise quickly. I had to wait 3 months to start my fresh cycle last year as last minute bloods showed I was severely anaemic. It's horrible having to wait

@twinkledag I've had 2 scratches and they are the only cycles I've had bfn so I guess that tells you my opinion on them!

I've unfortunately not started miscarrying naturally and my cervix is closed so I'm now going in tomorrow for medical management. I'm terrified to be honest But I am really keen for it to be over. I had to have a pre op yesterday and I've put on 4 kg. It feels so vain to be worrying about weight but it just feels an extra kick in the teeth to be honest. So I want to get healthy eating as soon as this is over and start getting myself as healthy as I can before I have my next FET. The clinic said I need to have 3 periods which seems like forever away

cupcakes how frustrating it’s taking so long. At least you have a plan to move things along.

Cupcakes sorryto hear that this is dragging out. I am also eating healthy and have started a couch to 5k thing with a load of other women which has been a good focus for me.

Twinkle LOL does not compute for me either! As for being 40 and having a baby, frankly we are spring chickens compared to some. I have been over on fertility friends boards as they have a specific thyroid/Hashimotos board. There are women on there up to the age of 46. Good on them...

twinkle to answer your question about prep, I haven’t really done much to prep other than taking my meds + folic acid & vit d. Currently hooked up to the jntrallipids - didn’t realise it would take such a long time!

Transfer booked for Saturday at 10am - eeek. Having a really bad feeling about it - I just feel like i haven’t prepped properly and am still not feeling 100%. Almost thinking of delaying it again but can’t figure out if I’ve got the heebie jeebies.

Twinkle, I don't do much to prepare for a fet either just the usual concoction of vitamins really and that's it.

Snow, what sort of prep would you want to do for your fet? I'm sure everything will be fine. Your lining was really good and you've done the intralipids etc this time. It is nerve wracking though. I was so scared for mine and the thought of going through another chemical or bfn back to back with the last one but I just wanted to get on with it as well so a whole mix of emotions.

Cupcakes, so sorry to hear everything is going so slowly. I also had medical management. It was fine actually having it done but it can get a little painful afterwards so make sure you have enough time off work to get over it and they should also offer you some painkillers. So sorry you are going through it all.

Jen, I think most of us have the idea in our heads about having another baby before 40 but in reality it's just a number and 41 is not much different to 40. Like you said some of the groups I'm on women are having babies at 50! I have my scan on Sunday. I will be 7 weeks then. I'm so nervous though I get really bad scanxiety as I've had some not very nice experiences with them. I've convinced myself that there will be something wrong with the baby 😬

lucie I know I’m being silly but just worried about what happens if this fails and then I’ve wasted two PGS tested embryos. Worried about everything really! Just started my lubion injections and I’ve bruised myself with the first injection - am so out of practice with injecting, I’d even forgotten how to draw up the solution into the needle.

Am going to be an absolute basket case in the 2ww. Normally I’m quite relaxed up until ET but this time I’m feeling so anxious about it.

Will be keeping everything crossed for your scan on Sunday. Scanxiety is the worst. But so far so good. And am impressed you managed to get a scan on bank holiday Sunday!

You haven't wasted them though snow you've tried everything possible to make them a success. You have a really good chance with this next one. The odds are on your side. I have my scan with ultrasound direct. They are pretty good and have lots of availability.

@NoCupcakesOrCocktails - nice to hear from you and good luck for today. It's horrible but it will be over with soon rather than waiting? Hate that we have to see the positive side in everything. This journey is the PITS. I am too 😡😡😡😡 about the weight gain - I have a big event in 3 weeks and I'm back to my post-Xmas weight. Would've been worth it if pregnant but to not be and be fat is shit.

@lucieloos good luck for scan today.

@Jenbot78 - Go #Team40 

@Snowdayfet - I hear you on the anxiety. You know, it's the ones you're not prepared for which are the ones that work. Good luck for tomorrow 

@lucieloos - sorry I misread that your scan was today. Good luck for Sunday.

I know lucie, I just have a bad feeling about this round. Will try to keep it in check!

On a side note - it was incredibly relaxing having the intrallipids - perhaps this is the trick to it, 2 hours lying down in the middle of a work day, reading magazines with the lovely nurses bringing me cups of tea and biscuits was bliss!