Trying to conceive baby#2 following ivf treatment for #1

[lucieloos]

I thought I would start this thread as I can't see anything similar. We underwent many rounds of icsi and following a couple of bfns, and an ectopic pregnancy we were finally blessed with our beautiful daughter last year.

We recently started thinking about baby no 2 and had 4 frozen embryos of which 2 had been tested and found to be chromosomally normal so are meant to have a better chance. We didnt have the other 2 tested.

A couple of weeks back we had our first fet with one of the tested embryos and got a bfp super early at 4dp5dt. Sadly by 8dpt the line was barely visible and resulted in a chemical pregnancy. I've been feeling really down about it as this was meant to be a super duper embryo with no genetic problems which they said was the main reason embryos fail.

I thought it would be easier trying for #2 and of course it is in a way as I realise how lucky I am to have had a baby but I can feel the infertility fog starting to descend again as I realise although I've had a brief respite I will never be like my fertile friends and I do really want another baby and a sibling for my little girl.

Im feeling a bit negative at the moment. We will probably go back for the other tested embryo in the near future but I can't see how I would ever get lucky enough to get 2 bfps in a row. These things just don't happen to me so just not too hopeful about it at all. We said that if we used all of our frosties with no success we would be happy with what we have but already I am thinking should I do more fresh cycles. I will be 39 soon though so time isn't on my side for that.

Anyway just wondering if anyone else is in a similar situation and would like to share the journey. Please come and say hi.

Yes it's a lot to do starting again tomorrow. You need to be emotionally ready more than anything incase the outcome of the next cycle is not favourable.

It's a lot of disappointment 2 months in a row if it doesn't work. I'm terrified as we are pinning all our hopes on this last FET. OH is adamant he doesn't want to go through it again and we over £20k in debt doing this and he doesn't want to add to it. If one of us were to lose our jobs we would be screwed! And we just moved house so we have no overpayments on our mortgage to draw down from 😬

Maybe it's better to wait a month then. It's not that long and will give you time to feel a little better after this cycle.

I hear you re having a break twinkle. lucie I think you’re amazing for being able to saddle up again so soon.

Ugh just had dinner with a friend who announced she was pregnant - same due date as the baby my chemical would have been. So happy for her but ugh ugh ugh just reminded me of it.

For me the hardest part is the waiting inbetween. I'm such an organiser and I would rather have another try straight away otherwise I would just be counting down the days until I could go again and feeling down about it all whereas going again straight away gives me renewed hope and something to focus on. It was hard thinking about how I would have dealt with another negative outcome (and that may still be a possibility) but then I figured if I got a bfn or another chemical waiting a couple of months inbetween wouldn't make me feel any better about it. Everyone is different though and I know lots of people would rather have sometime out to process everything which is completely understandable.

Urgh so sorry about the baby bomb snow. They never get any easier. Hope you're ok.

Sorry to hear that @Snowdayfet, that would've been tough

I totally get the mindset lucie - I’m just barely organised enough to get the drugs I need to start on cd2!

Yeah baby bombs are tough. This one just hit me as she is due nov 24th and if my fet had stuck it would have been nov 23rd. Guess I absorbed that due date more than I thought.

My lines are getting obviously darker every day now and I got 1-2 on digi yesterday at 6dpt which I didn't get at all last time around so keeping everything crossed for a sticky one. Roll on beta on Monday.

Oh phew lucie. Just popped on to ask if your lines were getting darker. Sounds like it’s going in the right direction. Yes, roll on the beta!

My due date would've been 11 Dec 

Good luck this morning @NoCupcakesOrCocktails.

Great news on the digi @lucieloos

Thanks both, still nerve wracking but at least it's going in the right direction at the moment.

Twinkle, have you spoken to your clinic about going again in June? Is it 2 frosties you have left? Will you put them both in?

Yes I have spoken to my clinic and I've got the prescription for the drugs so I'll be ready to start this time next month. I think we will put both back? I can't keep flying backwards and forwards, I am working so it's harder to hide it. But I'll speak to the clinic about what they think nearer the time. They will probably suggest putting them both back TBH.

I did briefly think about doing another fresh cycle but realistically we don't have the money.

How much does your clinic charge for a fresh cycle, @lucieloos?

The last couple of times I went I did mini ivf and had better results with it. It worked out around £1k plus meds but because I was on less meds it wasn't too bad. A full stimm cycle is around £1700 plus meds.

Did you do all these cycles before you had DD?

This is my background...
Cycle 1 - Full stimm - bfn
Cycle 2 - Full stimm - cancelled
Cycle 3-5 - Embryo banking
Cycle 6 - Full stimm - ectopic
Cycle 7 - Mini ivf - bfn
Cycle 8 - Mini ivf - DD
Cycle 9 - FET - chemical
Cycle 10 - FET - current bfp

Wow, 10 cycles?! Go you!

Were they all with the same clinic? Over how long a period did you do the cycles?

I started April 2015 and was successfully with DD in September 2016 so around 18 months. 2 cycles including DD were on the NHS. All others were at the same clinic in Czech.

Bless you, it's been a long hard road for you. Fingers crossed this one sticks.

Would you go for baby number 3?

Thank you yes it's been testing but I think it's a numbers game unless you have something majorly wrong. Although the downside is obviously the cost the more you keep doing it.

Have you added up the cost? 🙈🙈🙈

Oh god no lol. I wouldn't want to do that. Prefer not to think about it.

Haha! Well here's hoping this is it for you

Sorry I didn't answer the question about number 3. We have 2 untested frosties left so I would consider having them transferred mainly because I don't really like the thought of leaving them behind than a massive desire to have a third. I think I would have liked 3 children if I had more time to have them a bit more spread out. I'm not sure if dh would be as keen. We'll have to see how we feel in a couple of years if this one works out ok.

Bloody hell lucie you've been through it! Well done for persevering. Keeping everything crossed for continued positive news.

As for me, I am waiting for the old vag to heal after this minor op. I have period pains and think AF will come soon. We are trying naturally, don't know why really as it only ends in disappointment 😒. Aargh! Would love to just have a period and attach no significance to it instead of being annoyed with my body and miserable!!!

I can feel the infertility fog descending. I know this by the following: obsessively googling every variation of 'FET' and 'blastocyst' that I can think of. Also by finding stories of older mothers to convince myself I'm not ancient, also stalking MN obsessively. I have been really feeling anxious about the FET in May.

My 40th Birthday is looming in May and feeling a bit depressed about it all!

It helps to keep remembering my DD and how overjoyed I am with her, she really is a happy little thing and we have a lovely time together. Another one would be the icing on the cake my DH says, I feel more strongly about it than this and think I would be devastated if I couldn't conceive another!

Sorry this is a bit of a rant. Just feeling fed up!!