Trying to conceive baby#2 following ivf treatment for #1

[lucieloos]

I thought I would start this thread as I can't see anything similar. We underwent many rounds of icsi and following a couple of bfns, and an ectopic pregnancy we were finally blessed with our beautiful daughter last year.

We recently started thinking about baby no 2 and had 4 frozen embryos of which 2 had been tested and found to be chromosomally normal so are meant to have a better chance. We didnt have the other 2 tested.

A couple of weeks back we had our first fet with one of the tested embryos and got a bfp super early at 4dp5dt. Sadly by 8dpt the line was barely visible and resulted in a chemical pregnancy. I've been feeling really down about it as this was meant to be a super duper embryo with no genetic problems which they said was the main reason embryos fail.

I thought it would be easier trying for #2 and of course it is in a way as I realise how lucky I am to have had a baby but I can feel the infertility fog starting to descend again as I realise although I've had a brief respite I will never be like my fertile friends and I do really want another baby and a sibling for my little girl.

Im feeling a bit negative at the moment. We will probably go back for the other tested embryo in the near future but I can't see how I would ever get lucky enough to get 2 bfps in a row. These things just don't happen to me so just not too hopeful about it at all. We said that if we used all of our frosties with no success we would be happy with what we have but already I am thinking should I do more fresh cycles. I will be 39 soon though so time isn't on my side for that.

Anyway just wondering if anyone else is in a similar situation and would like to share the journey. Please come and say hi.

Totally relate to everything you've said in your post Jenbot78.

I obsessively google too. How old celebrities were when they had their last child. IVF success stories after a miscarriage. Etc etc.
Today I've been reading about how to prepare your body for a FET. I need to go back to work to stop this

Ha! Yes definitely celebrities! DD is only 11 months so luckily I am able to avoid googling during the day. But come bedtime there is no stopping me 😬. How are you doing twinkle? Hope you are having a rest and looking after yourself as much as possible.

Thanks @Jenbot78. I have been resting loads. Ibuprofen helps with the pain but the cramps and backache can be pretty bad. Went for a walk earlier to get some fresh air.

Feel so fed up with it all, can't believe our happiness was snatched from right underneath us.

@NoCupcakesOrCocktails - how are you doing?

Wow @lucieloos you have really been through the mill in a relatively short space of time. I'm always really interested in mini ivf, I see you got your DD from one! Glad to hear the lines are progressing

@Jenbot78 sorry for the baby bomb, they really sting don't they? I always feel I'm on red alert for people's announcements 

@twinkledag I'm also a tad obsessed with celebrities who do ivf etc, I've discovered Instagram lately and am following so many ivf pages it's taking over my entire feed

Well I'm not doing too good today. The scan yesterday was just more uncertainty. The fetal pole was there this time and they thought there was maybe a heartbeat but couldn't be sure. The gestational sac hadn't grown at all from last week which is worrying. The consultant was still very negative he says as far as he's concerned it's not a viable pregnancy. He wants us back in another week so more waiting. I'm so confused, my hcg levels got to 700 at their highest and then dropped to 680 last time they checked. They can't explain why there is even anything there as you shouldn't be able to see anything under a beta of 1000. I don't see how there can be any hope so the dragging out of all this is torture. I'm going to speak to my clinic on Monday and see if they will scan me in between as I honestly don't know how I will survive until Friday

Oh @NoCupcakesOrCocktails, that is bloody torture. Really feel for you. You are stuck in limbo land. Let's hope your clinic can help on Monday. I'm hoping that it IS a viable pregnancy though. That would be so good.

As for me, I am halfway to convincing my DH to go for another cycle if the FET doesn't work. Hoping and praying that the FET is the one though 🤞

@twinkledag I'm trying not to start hoping, it's hard not to though. I've googled so much and can't find any success stories though with low/dropping HCG especially as mine was a single transfer

Keeping everything crossed your DH changes is mind or rather that the FET works and you don't need the fresh go. If it's any comfort my DH was adamant 3 cycles and no more ever! Luckily we got DS on cycle 3 and it took me nearly 2 years to convince him to do it again. He is ridiculously stubborn though so if he can change his mind anyone can!

Fingers crossed for you @NoCupcakesOrCocktails.

I really want the FET to work. My DH is wavering but more on the NO side rather than the yes. And realistically it will be bloody hard to fit it in with my little one going to school in September, not to mention the cost. I hate this, it's really shit.

Cupcakes, so sorry to hear the scan was uncertain. I used to have to go back and for to epu every other day for ages and it's awful to be in limbo so I really sympathise and hope that one way or another it will all be resolved soon. On another note I would really recommend the mini ivf I ended up getting lots more eggs than I did on full stimm.

Twinkle, how are you feeling now? Wait and see how the fet goes. I really hope it works for you and you don't need to think about a fresh but if it doesn't work maybe you can talk to dh then and stress how you aren't ready to stop yet and really need to try one more round. Could your little one stay home with dh if need be?

Snow, hope you're ok. How much longer until you start?

Jen, sorry you have the dreaded infertility fog! Will you try another ivf round soon?

Thanks lucie, I'm still feeling down about it but have to try and look forwards. Just hate that it's so hard for people like us. It's so unfair.

I think I'm just a natural worrier!!

Hi again - so sorry to hear a few are having such a shitty time. You'd think after going through ivf for one we'd deserve a bit of a break! cupcakes the uncertainty is just awful and completely understand why it's hard not to hope for a positive outcome

twinkle so so sorry to hear about your MC. Very cruel to have a positive test and then for it not to work out

lucie everything crossed for you. Was v excited to read about your positive test! Fantastic news. Good luck for Monday! Is your daughter helping you keep your mind off it all at all?? Im dreading going down the infertility black hole again!!

jenbot absolutely know where you're coming from on the infertility fog!

Afm - saw my consultant and he was lovely. He thinks the process should be straightforward in terms of monitoring etc so that's good news as I'll be back at work and it's no where near my clinic. He recommended 3 days off for transfer so I was potentially thinking of a cycle in Jan but that won't be possible because its so busy at work. So hard to decide when to start - it's OK if it works as hopefully won't be too distracting from work but if things go wrong I know I'll just fall apart!

cupcakes so sorry your scan wasn’t unequivocally positive. It is so hard to be in limbo - I can really relate to that feeling of clinging on to that tiny bit of hope, whilst knowing it’s hnlikely to be a happy ending. I hope things resolve for you quickly.

jen - hear hear on the infertility fog. It’s unavoidable!

chocolate that’s good news that your consultant thinks things will be straightforward. I know what you mean about being distracted at work. I find the whole ivf & pregnancy thing so hard to manage just generally.

lucie sending good thoughts to your little bean.

Oh, and twinkle -

Thank you @Chocolateandwineplease27 and @Snowdayfet

lucie got two blasts from previous ivf cycle to have a go at first. The clinic seem reaonably positive but I'm scared to go along with that positivity. Starting on next af cycle as have to heal from minor op first. But still have to steel myself psychologically in case it doesn't work.

cupcakes all the waiting must be excruciating. Hope you get your answer soon.

chocolate so hard to work out when to do a cycle isn't it? I have one of my best friends' hen do right in the middle of the FET 2ww if we go ahead in May (which we will.) Not sure what I will say to people! Could have waited but have weddings, a holiday etc. in the following months. It never feels like a good time! So hard. And also I find it hard to organise clinic appointments around my daughter. I can't really show up with her!

@Chocolateandwineplease27 - who are you cycling with? X

Jen, that's great you have 2 blasts to try with and are starting soon. Wishing you lots of luck.

Choc, thanks lovely. Yes my daughter keeps me busy and I don't have time to ponder over things quite as much as I used to thankfully. Glad to hear your consultant was positive and you're thinking about when to go. Wishing you lots and lots of luck when you do go ahead.

I've got my beta test today so I decided to do a digi this morning as I'm looking for my beta to be over 150 at 10dp5dt and the digi goes to 2-3 weeks at 153 so thought it would be a good indicator. I was shaking like a leaf doing it as I had some not very good experiences with digis when I had my ectopic but thankfully the 2-3 weeks came up so hopefully that means the beta will be ok as well. Will keep you posted.

That's great to hear @lucieloos. Good luck with the beta X

Phew that’s a relief lucie. Hopefully your beta is similarly robust. Do you get the results back today?

Thanks both, yes just had the beta result and it's 252. Average for 10dpt is 194 so they said it's really good. Just got to hope it doubles up properly on Wednesday now. The worry never ends!

Great news @lucieloos

@lucieloos that's a great beta! Fingers crossed for the next one. These early days pass so so slowly don't they?!

@Chocolateandwineplease27 hi 👋 that all sounds positive. I know what you mean, it's so hard deciding when as there is always something going on that will get in the way

@twinkledag how are you feeling?

I went back to my clinic yesterday as needed more drugs. They did a scan themselves as they wanted to see what is going on. So there is definitely a heartbeat, the fetal
pole is tiny though and they are measuring me 8 days behind. The sac is very low down in my uterus and close to my c section scar. The consultant said he didn't know what to say. He has no idea why my betas dropped and how there was anything to see on the first scan with them being so low. He's worried about the location of the pregnancy but said it's just a case of wait and see now. I'm feeling really confused and have googled the hell out of it but can't find any similar stories so who knows what is going on

Oh gosh @NoCupcakesOrCocktails, what a mind fuck! Excuse my language! Praying it works out for you! What's the next step? Come on baby grow grow grow!

I'm ok, just trying to get on with things and look towards the FET. I wake up in the morning and for a brief moment I'm ok and then I remember that life can be really crap sometimes!!

It's a total mind fuck!!! Next step is back to the EPU on Friday for their scan

It's crappy isn't it but keep focusing on your FET and hopefully that will be your baby 🤞 how is it being back at work?