3rd or more time lucky - IVF cycle buddies October

[Hobbes39]

Hi Just wondering of there are folks on here who are about to go through their 3rd + time of IVF who want a cycle buddy? I dont mean it badly towards anyone who is starting their IVF journey for the first time, (i was there just this time last year after all) but I feel a bit like I cant be as optomistic about it as I was, so dont want to drag any first timers down? Hope that makes sense!
Anyway, just to explain about me:
TTC #2 for over 2.5 years now
Unexplained Secondary Infertility (have 4 year old DS)
Age 40.5
AMH: 15.4
2 failed fresh and 1 falied FET (with single frozen 3BB embryo we got from 2nd fresh round)
about to start 3rd fresh round when my period starts in approx 7-10 days, so will probably be late october EC.
anyone else a bit jaded, but still vaguely hopeful want to join me?
xx

Thanks hobbes and lulah. Its amazing, slighty unreal! I was so worried there was an undetected implantation issue or something preventing us succeeding. I know there is a long way to go yet, but its further then we have gotten so far.
I hope this turns out to be a lucky thread for everyone one it.

How upseting for both of you to have to stress over tests. hobbes good on you for finally getting back the pill, and lulah hope you get the bloods sorted.
Good luck to everyone else too!

Omg that's amazing decaf. Two bfps! Hope you can enjoy this moment even despite the fears.

Thanks Gee! I cant quite believe it yet. Going to call clinic tomorrow to arrange blood test. Maybe when i see that result it will be more real.

Huge congratulations decaf amazing news!!!

Thanks coco!

Hello everyone. My first post on this thread but I was on the March/April one with Hobbes, geeup and Lulahbelle. Hello all!

Have done FET this month with the one (day 5) frostie we had from the fresh cycle. ET was on 18/9 so today is 7dp5dt. Our clinic now does blood testing on day 12 (so I’m going on Saturday).

Last time I was testing from 5dpt, reading everything online and going a bit mental. This time I have tried to forget about it (hence no MNing!). Am at work today and just suddenly decided to get a FRER. Did it just now and sat there for a bit and it was plain white with only one stripe. Shoved into bag and went back to desk, thinking I would try again on Friday. Fished it out of bag a while later and OMG there is a faint second line. I am in total shock. Have had no symptoms at all.

Not sure what to do now as when I spoke to DP at the weekend about when to test, she said she didn’t want me to before the blood test. But on Saturday she can’t come with me, and I know she isn’t going to want me to tell her by text message. Equally I am afraid of a CP, in which case I’d rather not tell her at all (she is finding all this harder than me, as she doesn’t know what feelings I’m having and so on).

Shall I keep quiet for now and maybe do another test on Saturday morning and tell her if still +? Or tell her now?

I can’t actually believe this has happened. It’s going to have to sink in!

And congrats to decaf!

Hi Wanda. That's amazing - tentative congrats. The decision to tell is completely yours. I agreed with DH I wouldn't test till OTD but when I started spotting, I wanted to know what was going on and tested at 5dp5dt at work. As you know I ended up having a chemical but I couldn't have kept it from him as I was so excited just to have two lines even though I knew it would end up being a miscarriage. So I told him that night when I got home. He initially thought I shouldn't have tested but when I lost it, he was glad we knew at least the embryo had tried to implant as it gave us new info we had never had before i.e. That my body can make hcg! Good luck. Hope it's a sticky one.

Hi wanda, lovely to hear from you and congrats on the BFP! If I were you, I'd wait and do another FRER with fmu tomorrow to be sure and then decide whether to tell her. Hopefully tomorrow's line will be stronger and then you can feel more hopeful that it's not a CP.

Hi wanda lovely to see another familiar name! I was on the march/april board with you too but have changed my name!! (used to be Hope)
Congratulations on your BFP! Fingers crossed for you! I agree with lulah test again in the morning with fmu, hopefully that will give you a stronger line. Either way i think you should tell your DP, i'm sure she would want to know.

decaf did you manage to get your blood test booked today?

Congratulations wanda!
First cycle i tested early and didnt tell my DH as it was negative. But he knew something was up, and got really upset that i hadnt told him immediately. Mostly as he wanted to support me, and he felt a bit excluded as well. I never thought he would take it so badly, so all subsequent cycles we test together. So i would tell, but depends how your partner react.
coco i went today for the blood test. I had a really horrid time! The initial phone chat to the clinic was lovely, the nurse booking me in said there would be a blood test and a chat about future plan, luteal support, scans etc. But the actual nurse at the appointment was in a hurry to leave i think. Hadnt read notes, asked why i was in, when i said blood test post positive pee stick, she barely said congrats, just straightway said it isnt totally accurate, so untill the blood test results were in there was no point of discussing future plans. She was so negative and brisk! Totally ruined my lovely positive test glow. Refused to address any questions, and rushed me out. Oh well, i get the results tomorrow and we will see. I just wish the nurses would consider the emotional trauma we are going through when talking to us. Going to be on tenterhooks again till tomorrow.

Oh coco have you had the blood test yet?
I have been reading since the appointment and i think the chances of test being off are very very low, the nurse was just being a b.

decaf sorry to hear the nurse was such a b there was no need for her to be like that, a little bit of sensitivity goes a long way, they need to show some compassion for what we go through. I'm sure your blood test results will be fine though, hang in there.

My clinic don't offer a blood test you just pee on your stick at home, let them know your result then they book you in for a scan at around 6/7 weeks.
I've got to ring up in the morning to book my scan, really hoping they will do it next weds as we go on holiday next thursday for a week and i dont want to wait till we get home. I will be 6 weeks next thursday so hopefully they will.
Wish they did a blood test tho, first scan was at 7 weeks last time and up until that i thought all was fine, still had strong positive tests, no bleeding, cramping or anything then wham bad news.
So i am just so nervous this time i've felt really on edge and stressed out today, i want to enjoy it but i'm just so scared.

Hi all - and hello again Wanda & congratulations! As lulah said, I think a test tomorrow am with FMU and then be honest with her as you'll need her either way and if situation was reversed I'm sure you'd want to know.
Decaf - sorry the nurse was shitty with you - I have found most are fine, but the occasional one has been quite dismissive - last time at my blood test (BFN) I felt they were a bit insensitive to me when I said I'd POAS and it was negative - she didn't even offer any sympathy, very clinical about it. You'd think they'd be a bit more excited (given the odds generally) when they hear about a BFP - or at least supportive. I think t might well be that if you are doing something Day in day out you forget the person behind it all... positive vibes for you to get great news tomorrow x
And hugs to Coco - if I ever get a BFP again, I know I won't be able to fully relax until I have a healthy baby in my arms, the false starts make it so hard. I hope you can get reassurance scan / bloods as soon as possible xx

Thanks so much coco and hobbes for your support. You are right, it probably just gets routine for the professionals and they forget how important each step is for us.
I am so anxious about all this, i cant even imagine how those of you who have had losses must feel.
coco are you on continued progesterone till 7w scan then? The nurse i spoke to in the morning (not the mean one) said they would keep me on progestrone and clexane(heparin) till scan as its FET. Apparently could lower chance of miscarriage.
Hope you get your scan next week, and its all good.x

decaf sorry about the offhand nurse. I agree they can be very businesslike generally. I got no expression of sympathy when I called to report our fresh cycle had failed. Just hang in there and try not to worry.

Nice to see you here again Coco and congrats - hope this time everything goes to plan.

Not sure what’s happening with me. Did another FRER just now with FMU and looks blank to me. Yesterday was 7dp5dt, taken in the afternoon after drinking quite a lot of water - definite second line (which looks clearer in reality than in the photo). This morning is 8dp5dt with FMU.

Top test is yesterday’s. Not sure whether to say anything to DP or not now. She will be so upset if it is a CP, might be better not to know at all, especially as she said she didn’t want me to test till OTD.

Sorry Wanda. This is such a touch journey. I can definitely see a second line on both tests but the bottom one does look a bit fainter. You can't know yet if it's a chemical but I'd say there is hcg right now. Only you know your relationship but I'd need to tell my partner. If you really don't want to say you've done one already, why don't you say you can't wait any longer and do one together this morning. Then she'll see the second line, and if it does end up being a chemical, you'll have her support. If I'm right, your DP is already pregnant which means there's lots of hormones and a lot of pressure on you both. Id encourage you not to keep this to yourself or it'll eat you up inside. I'm sure she loves you very much and would understand why you'd want to test early.

Thanks Geeup. DP isn’t pregnant - we’ve done IVF using her eggs but with me carrying (hopefully).

I think I will have to do another test later before I can decide what to tell her. I should have waited till OTD.

So sorry for my confusion. Don't blame yourself - I'm terrible for testing early. I just find it easier to bear if I know what's going on. Everyone's different though.

Hi Wanda - honestly - I'd tell your DP now - while she might be disappointed that you tested without her, in fairly sure if it were me I'd be more upset if you didn't tell me. I think testing before OTD is completely understandably - those that manage not to have my huge admiration! Please tell her as I think you need each other.
I can see a line on both tests - will keep fingers crossed for you that all is well! Xx FWIW when I had chemical on the first round, after the initial shock (I had been bleeding heavily before OTD so didn't expect it) it was actually slightly reassuring as it meant we had almost got there, so I took it as an encouraging sign, so while I know how devastating it is if it does end up being a CP there is hope. Xx

Thanks Hobbes. Will just have to wait and see I guess. DP knows now. Now both of us are worrying

Wanda - glad you told her . Try to remember that HCG levels are so low when you test early, that having faint lines is to be expected... this could be wonderful news, but I understand your worry - hurry up tomorrow! Xx

She actually found out by coming on MN and then asking me. Not ideal. I was feeling funny last night so she knew something was up.

Anyway, guess we just have to hope the tests get clearer.

Hi wanda dont beat yourself up about testimg early, i think most of us do, it’s impossible to wait for OTD! But as its early, faint lines are to be expected. 🤞 for you!
AFM, clinic called, said blood levels are fine. Phew! Now i have to go back in tomorrow for a nurse appointment to discuss scan dates etc. Hope i get a different nurse this time!