IVF Cycle Buddies July/August

[BiscuitBill]

I saw that we were nearly hitting 1k posts 😱 so thought I'd make a new one before we got cut off!
Hope everyone finds us!!!!

[Floofles]

This chat has kept me saneish! Can we just continue (I guess rename at some point!)
I really don't want to have to chat to new people when if this cycle is cancelled!

[thegamblersmrs]

We make the rules floo and I vote yes!

I was mocked by my sis last year as I'm not in any 'watsapp groups' I didn't even realise it was a thing but I felt very left out not doing a permanent member of any of these groups well 2's up to her I'm part of an infertility group chat, who's the winner now! 😂😂😂hahaha

[Leanne1185]

Whatsapp would be easier 😂

[Leanne1185]

And floo I'm the same if this one is a fail I don't want to talk to strangers x

[ChoChang]

Yep im in too, whatever happens. Although clearly i need to start watching cbb! x

[Floofles]

Haha yesss we should have a WhatsApp (although then we have to disclose our actual identities 😱)!

Clearly I also need to start watching cbb - who even is Sarah!?

[BiscuitBill]

I'm in 🙋🏻 I'll start a new thread and post a link 😉
Hopefully next time it will be in the 'pregnancy' category though! I sometimes have a gander in that category and scowl at my phone at all the happy pregnant people 😂

[BiscuitBill]

Bitter??? Moi????? Never 🙃

[chivintassle]

I'm in, and im 99% sure I'll get cancelled tomorrow, after pill, down regging and 12 days of stimming. so hope you're not going to eject me😬😱
Hopefully most of you will go on to a BFP chat, but let's stick together!

[thegamblersmrs]

I wondered why identity hiding was such a big thing until I read threads in other topics then I realised!
It's a shame you can't go a closed private group on this.

Feeling a bit sore since the trigger, I know it's probably just my overactive mind since I only had it 3 hours ago but I've told OH to make me be sensible tomorrow if I still feel tough. I'm terrible for going into work even when I know I'm too run down.
I had a lot of time off when I lost my mum which luckily was all paid time off. Now I feel I owe the NHS my soul or something.

[Whatamuddleduck]

Gamblers - I'd highly recommend a day off! It's the least you deserve after all this.

Everyone- what is a cbb?

And yes , you can't all leave me! I need you all to keen me sane!

Day 7 post 5 day transfer yesterday and still a bfp on a frer. It was stronger than day 5. I figured that I'll check every 2 days as they are bloody expensive! Not meant to be testing until Sunday and so I have the fear that this will be a cp. I'm definitely on knicker watch with the fear of af turning up!

[thegamblersmrs]

Duck cbb is celeb big bro.
I feel fine this morning except for a sore throats so will be gracing work with my presence as useless as I am.

Knicker watch hahaha this is why I need you guys, I've never been able to tell anyone how obsessed I became with that 2/3 days before af was due.

[Leanne1185]

Haha today is knocker watch day for me...can't wait! I shall keep u posted...oh no wait that's disgusting 😂

[thegamblersmrs]

Ha ha I even got as far as wearing certain ones as you could tell better or a pantyliner. Infertility does not come itself. I'm amazed we are as sane as we are!

[thegamblersmrs]

Ps knocker watch! 😂😂😂😂

[thegamblersmrs]

Spoke too soon feel like garbage. One more day until ec!

[Floofles]

Haha knicker watch! I just obsessively poas because I never have a period anyway, but once the cramps start I obsessively wear liners (because all of my pants are the same generic black cotton - I'm so glam) so I can see exactly when it starts and how much I'm spotting 😂

[Floofles]

Gamblers, you do not owe work anything! Time off (paid) is only given when absolutely necessary and we shouldn't feel indebted just because work weren't actively awful to us in a horrible situation! (Although I do know where you're coming from and I go in unless I'm actually dying!)

[MelbourneClown03]

Yay I found you all! Great stuff. I absolutely love that you guys understand the rollercoaster of emotions that I feel I'm on most days. It sounds cliche but no one actually 'gets it' in real life. Let's stick together, though I'll have to start watching CBB -not an issue. I love a bit of trash TV.

@thegamblersmrs TMI but I have also been known to select specific knickers in the run up AF. Black knickers are a no, no as you can't discern and closely examine what colour any liquid is. White knickers are also a no, no as they'll stain badly if one has a gush or isn't quick enough in penguin marching to the loo, to insert the necessary knicker mattress.

I'm pootling along. Boobs a tiny bit sore, back has the odd half hour of aching and I'm napping most days but other than that, I feel normal.

I'm beginning to become more and more anxious as the days to the OTD get nearer. I feel like I'm about to go through an awful, traumatic experience. The last time there were days, straight after the BFN that I wasn't sure how I was going to cope or if I could carry on functioning at work. Knowing I could feel like that again ratchets up my anxiety in itself.

I am most definitely the problem with the infertility. According to our GP, DP has 'super sperm'. Nice of her to point the flashing finger of blame above my head I feel a lot of responsibility to DP to be able to give him a child but also to our parents in giving them their first grand-child.
Thankfully I realise I am worth more than my uterus but I still feel rubbish that I can't give them what we all want.

[thirtyplusone]

Good luck and positive thoughts to everyone today!

Just had my rearranged interview this morning I think I fluffed horribly 🤦🏼‍♀️🤷‍♂️

[Nowwhyareyoucrying]

Duck that's amazing!! I was the same with it being 5dp5dt that I could see 'something'.

I totally get knicker watching. Every little trickle in straight in the loo in a panic. Glad we're all crazy moos together.

[chivintassle]

Ok so my world officially ended today. 💔I even cried in front of the dr. I had one at 17, 2 at 12 and non on the other side. Apparently our natural cycles vary and this is maybe a trough. I'm stopping all med, will ovulate naturally then have af. Unfortunately DH is away so can't even dtd. Based on my last cycle and now this one my chances are c5%. So gone from 30 to 5. He even talked about donor egg and adoption. That completely threw me. Hence crying.
I asked for the dr and got the clinic lead. He said all protocols are much of a muchness and can only work with what's there. I pushed on the pill suppressing too much and he said there is no 'answer' and won't have made much difference. (Not sure I believe but he's the educated one on this). He also said most of the top clinics are the same, just some take more money off you than others. (Not sure I believe that either)
So I cried in the consultation room, on the tube and now in flat. I even cried on the phone to my boss, just said I was feeling very emotional and would be in later than expected.
I just feel empty, and a failure. 😢

[thirtyplusone]

Big hugs chivin. So sorry this happened to you.

You're not a failure, this isn't your fault.
Is this your first time at this clinic?
I don't know what to suggest but perhaps consider going to another clinic for a consultation with a specialist. You're in London right? I really really rate the lister. Perhaps a second opinion might give some more clarity. If we've worked out anything here it's that each clinic has a different approach.

It's ok to cry it out big big love.

[chivintassle]

Thanks thirty yeah had a failed cycle at Bath, and now at IVI London. It's just such a mine field. I really don't know where to turn.
In the back of my mind I'm thinking I've only been talking all my extra vits for 2 months and it takes 3 to change egg quality, and after the chat today the other part thinks I'm kidding myself.
DH was really sweet and said it didn't matter and we'd find our way, get lots of animals 😂 But it's not the same. I control everything else, why can't I do this?!
Are you at Lister? I mentioned them today and he said all top clinics are good.

[BiscuitBill]

Oh chivin I'm so so sorry. You are not a failure by any means. I can imagine that was quite a shock to talk about donor or adoption.. is it something you've ever considered? I must admit I have explored all avenues when I found out about my infertility.. But hearing that would still knock me for six. Be kind to yourself, and take all the time you need. Don't rush back to work if you don't feel like you'll be able to cope. Sending you big big hugs x x x