Secondary infertility support group here!

[Annabellaboo]

Ladies-I hope we all find each other here from the original thread! I didn't realise we had ran out of room on the other thread! Shout if you are there!

Congratulations black cherries, that's great news :)

I've just been reading all your posts and thrilled to see a bfp, congratulations blackcherries!

I keep checking from time to time on how you're getting on but not much to report my end, having an early scan tomorrow which I hope will out some of my fears to rest. It's been a very different pregnancy to my first where I was so much more blasé. Most of the time I don't feel I'm pregnant, just feeling really sick every day, I don't want to get my hopes up still somehow.

I think about you ladies and really hope to see some more bfps very soon. Xx

Well I am cd2 today. Not really too upset as just expect it now. Most of the hope every month has vanished but that does make my life a bit easier. Meh.

On a positive note, DH SA came back very good so just waiting for our first meeting with our consultant. I knew it was me.

I just have this feeling we will end up unexplained. That's my big fear.

I was reading the NHS England guidelines and unexplained infertility is just offered IVF which is not something we would go for. I think we're f**ked

Auroras we are so close I am cd5 ! Great news about your hubby sperm, don't give up. It's so easy to get down I know myself I frequently do feel like there is no hope. I try to remind myself there is so much that they can do to help us.

Thanks chocolate. I'm just fed up, bloated and tired lol x

Hi aura sorry your feeling so low I am on flow just now aswel I had 3 weeks of spotting brown blood and then af showed 4 days ago I'm hoping I get a break once I dry up.the doc said it was hormones and just ride it out in total iv bled for 5 weeks and all I'm hearing is baby anoucments just now so know how your feeling.how long till your consultant appointment now?i know it's hard and I feel the same but not being able to dtd at all in that cycle made me realise how much I hope a miracle will happen each month even tho it's not in 3 years.but try And just live on the positive like your husbands sperm you know it's not that so you can knock that off the list one thing less to worry about in the long list of what ifs.xx

Thanks tara yes you're right, one more problem ruled out. Onto the next investigation. I'm a very impatient person though!

Oh dear 5 weeks bleeding that's not right at all is it! And lactating, what investigations have you had up to now? Sounds like your hormones are haywire and your not being taken seriously.

I've not mentioned it before on here cause I wanted to focus on TTC, but my mum passed away in january, very unexpected so needless to say my stress levels are ridiculous. I'm back at work too so the amount of coffee I've started having and sugar is no good for TTC, plus I'm too exhausted to work out, plus I've reluctantly started anti depressants as I have to function as a mother and a wife, so all these things I know are not baby friendly but I feel I need these things to cope with life on a daily basis. However, we still failed to conceive for the past 2 years when I have been super duper healthy so I just say bollocks to all of it. Big fat bollocks.

Aww aura I'm so sorry no wonder your so down I lost my dad 8 years ago he was 45 the heartbreak is unbearable.dont worry yourself about the anti depressant plenty of woman conceive while on them on the old thread there was a bfp while taking them and my oh is on them and he is like night and day youv got to look after yourself.
Iv had bloods wich were fine up until January then had a chemical the same night my papa passed away and that's when my prolactin went crazy then it was back to normal then low progesterone and no ovulation then back to normal then last month I had a line on a test but neg the next day then I started af 3 days late stopped for 2 days then right through till now so not sure if it was a faulty test or another chemical as my gran health is now failing it's hard to tell if it's just hormones or stress.iv had a scan everything seems normal with that.
It's just so frustrating to think if it is unexplainable why us?its like just knock after knock of bad things.have you been on them a while are they helping your mood any?xx

Thanks tara, yes it's horrible to lose a parent so young. And then infertility on top of that not good for mental health! Yes the anti d's have really suited me and really helped. I was putting it off for ages as I thought it would compromise my fertility but now just think sod it, I need to be selfish for once and focus on getting over the loss.

My goodness what a roller coaster for you. It sounds like you had a chemical and your hormones are taking a while to level out. Fingers crossed they settle soon and the chemical was just one of those things.

How where your cycles previously? X

@annabellaboo if you see this could I ask a question about your nhs investigations? Why didn't they pick up the dead tissue issue because I think you a HSG didn't you? If you would have tried IVF it would certainly have failed every time if you had a hostile uterus? It really scares me that things can be missed like this! Did you make a complaint?

I know fingers crossed I'm starting to spot brown so normally in a day or two that would stop gears hoping.
That's great there working but just try and take some time to focus on yourself for a bit xxx

I'm sorry for your loss Auroas I also lost my mother but last year and my father 7 years ago, it has been rediculously stressful and painful you are so right none of this is conductive to baby making :( impossible not to be stressed but loads of stressed people do get pregnant so I do still have faith that one day it will happen (I hope).

Auroras- sorry for your loss. I do believe stress certainly doesn't help with fertility but then I think about some of the conditions and situations women have and still have babies in and then think doesn't always matter at all. You do what you have to in order to get through life. Do try and take good care or yourself though. The better you feel about yourself it can only help your chances of conceiving.
Auroras- yes good question indeed. I have also asked this. I was shocked with the discovery because yes I had and hsg, and a laparoscopy so assumed they would show these issues. My consultant said no. They only give a limited view and will only show if there is an obvious blockage or endometriosis with a lap. I was told the only direct way to look into the uterus is through a hysteroscopy as a camera goes straight up into the uterus which no other test does.
I was angry to tell you the truth. Angry I had all those tests for nothing, angry it took my own initiative to get what I needed, angry i wasted years with no answers and also angry for many other women who have perhaps never been diagnosed because they didn't get the right procedure and will never know any better. I do plan on complaining, or should I say informing them or their shortcomings in the hope it can help someone in the future. I was waiting for this pregnancy to really stick but now you have actually spured me on to do something so thank you! Any questions at all please ask away.

Whoops- Don't know why I wrote your name twice!

Annabella I think it's such a shame they do end up testing for things they might not need to, if they listened to you and investigated properly rather than treated you look a number on the meat counter.
On a different note I am thinking about try reflexology every week to lower my stress levels, have any of you guys tried this?

lovechoc- yes I am one of those people who literally tried every alternative therapy possible! Reflexology was definitely one of my favourites. It didn't work any fertility miracles for my issue of course but yes it can be very good at helping with stress and balancing the body. It certainly can only be a helpful treatment for your whole mind and body. Also accupuncture was very good for me, it helped balance my hormones and general well being.

Good luck Harry. I don't know much about IVF but have seen a lot of people go abroad and with those figures I can see why! How do you feel about it all?

Good luck Harry. As you probably know I have been to Serum and can't recommend enough. I know I wouldn't be pregnant without their treatment and they certainly don't oversell. Big savings if you go there.

Sorry it's straight to ivf harry but at least you know now and cAn be productive in finding the best clinic for you.how do you feel about donar eggs?did he explain what they found and why this is the best option.iv no clue on ivf but I know my sister in law tried 3 separate clinics the one they conceived on was something like 12 to 15 k she shared her eggs to bring cost down think one clinic was about 4 k so think it all comes down to wear you feel good about.xx

Thanks for your reply @annabellaboo it's really helpful (worrying but helpful).

How are you feeling @harry78? Is there not anything you can do to improve your own eggs or does it mean you don't ovulate each cycle? Did they give you a % of conceiving naturally.

Well I had my consultant appointment and I really don't know how I feel. She said that my scan and blood tests fine, hubby's SA is fine (motility is borderline but the massive numbers make up for it). So there's no reason we shouldn't conceive and to keep trying for another 6 months. I feel releived and disappointed at the same time. But mainly just sad.

What now? Back to the frantic googling and convincing myself a new supplement should do the trick

Good for you Harry get things moving and something to focus on! Do you take ubiquinol? It's supposed to be the best thing for preserving egg quality x