Secondary infertility support group here!

[Annabellaboo]

Ladies-I hope we all find each other here from the original thread! I didn't realise we had ran out of room on the other thread! Shout if you are there!

Hi Harry. Well I think I have just sort of accepted that no 2 won't happen without assistance. We are still trying but it's been 18 months now with not a peep. I just try to focus on what I do have which is a beautiful ds it does help. X x

Harry I find it really difficult to cope with the feelings of disappointment, especially as I seem to see pregnant women every where I go at the moment. I try to be grateful for what I have and accept that a second might not happen for us, but it's very hard

Harry it's really hard isn't it? I've started thinking a bit more about staying as a family of 3 but my thoughts vary wildly day to day! I hope that the consultant appt will answer your questions and help you feel more rested and sure about your options.
Taking a step back from MN helped a bit too as some days there is nothing to do except google and read the boards...

Although I'm not living by my advice by posting, time away from boards, google and the internet helps. I think for me it was focusing more on what I DO have - family, DD, hubby, friends, work - as opposed to what I don't that has helped. I was putting life on hold and it was making me miserable but I didn't realise it for a long time. Talking about the difficult feelings with hubby or friends also. Taking a holiday helped me to get some distance from the issue - hope that helps in some way xxx

Sorry your feeling so low harry between the results and the spotting it's understandable your going to feel sad and fed up with it all.how many days are you spotting before af?i had my af on the 4th then started having brown blood spotting 3 days later and I'm still going so iv pretty much bled the hole cycle I'm going to docs today thing is tho she goes on about referral for fertility doctor but it pisses me off cause I'm worried why this is happening not in a ttc but as a general why in the hell have I been bleeding for 22 days.some months I think you just can't get over how upsetting it is and youv just got to go through it until you can pick yourself up dust off and try to get positive again xx

I'm going to do the same harry a month off just back from the doctor got told it must be hormones as the scan showed no fibroids no pcos no leis ions all looks perfect just some months I'm not ovulating and when I'm bleeding brown that's the months I'm not basically told me I either get on with it or go on the pill so bleeding every day of the month is fine aparently.i asked about progesterone cream and got told not to mess about with hormones but I would think there's a reason I'm having so many months of not ovulating but pretty much no interest.could you not play up a bit say the fibroid is making your periods extremely painful and stuff so they'll remove it I k ow they say it shouldn't effect ttc but I believe it could.are you going to take a month then straight into treatment or just see how you feel with a break xx

O.k so I just had a phone call and my lap is next week.
Has anybody had one of these? Do you know how long it will take to recover? I'm dreading it, but excited to move forward.

Sorry chocolate not had one but I'm sure some of the ladies have that's great it's moving fast tho maybe get some answers xx

Hello ladies. Just doing a little catch up on some of the latest posts.
Spottyteapot- any update on the spotting? Have you tested again? Hope things are looking up, I dreaded that happening to me when I got my bfp so I am really sorry.
Harry-sorry about your levels. Have you tried coq10 for egg qualify? I hope you get some good advice on your options going forward.
I am starting to feel a little better finally. I'm into week 12 now and have my dating scan next week. I already have a bump this time.
Rooting for you all xxx

Super exciting for you Anabelle.
Harry, I don't know much about Amh but I did read just because you don't have as many left they could still be good quality.
Tara was it the GP that said no to progesterone? I still feel like they don't take us seriously as we have one child, my GP keeps telling me it's stress.
I have my pre op Thurs p.m so will let you all know what happens. I am a bit scared, more to the recovery time.

Ilovechocolate- meant to reply to your question about the laparoscopy. I had one last summer after pretty much begging my nhs consultant. If I had know then what I know now I would have tried to ask for a hysteroscopy first. Did they mention that to you at all? The lap did show very mild endometriosis for me but I actually don't think that was my problem. If I had a hysteroscopy at the same time (easy to do) they would have found the problem I had with the tissue in my uterus. The lap is quite intrusive. I don't do well with general anaesthetic so was sick after waking and did find it very painful. Took me about 4 days to feel more comfortable and I would say 2 weeks to feel completely pain free and normal. It can vary though I think I had it quite rough. See if you can talk to your consultant about the possibility of doing the hysteroscopy whilst they do the lap. They may tell you it's unnecessary but I assure you it's a totally different view of what's going on in there than the lap. Good luck whatever does happen. Fingers crossed it gives you some answers at least.

The reason my consultant decided to do the hysteroscopy was because when she gave me an aquascan it showed I had some polyps and these needed to be removed. During the procedure they also found all the dead tissue and scar tissue I had in and on my uterus which the burnt off and sucked out.
It's my understanding that a hysteroscopy is the best treatment for fibroids- don't quote me on that, but I would definitely look into it further. They basically cleaned my very messy uterus up with this procedure as well as giving some implantation cuts. The consultant explained to me a hysteroscopy is the only way to directly and fully see into the uterus so it's the most revealing (a different view than a lap). I learned after that it used to be commonly performed by the NHS for diagnosing unexplained infertility but they don't do it much now and go straight to ivf treatment for primary infertility (I think I remember reading it's due to cuts) but the ironic thing is they could probably save £'s if they did this where appropriate as it would diagnose a lot more women and not always need to have ivf. Sorry for the waffle on this subject! I was shocked and frustrated after I had my hysteroscopy as it finally gave me all my answers after years of every other test and procedure possible with the NHS. If I had only had that far less intrusive and perfectly standard procedure in the first place it would have saved me much pain, heartache and money. It doesn't mean it will answer questions for everyone of course, but I do believe it could give some for a lot of women. I hope that helps. Ask the questions and don't take no for an answer if it's something you believe could be of help for you. It's expensive but not nearly as much as a lap. Privately in the U.K. It's around £3000 and half that where I had it in Athens. A lap will cost the NHS a lot more so why they don't give this first I have no idea...

Hi Anabel
It says on the letter lap and dye and hysteroscopy. I have had quite a lot of pain in my pelvic area since Christmas which I think is why they are doing both. I said I didn't want a hy cosy as I said they may as well go the whole hog and do the lap.
I had my internal scan last week and that was all clear so I don't think I have fibroids or cysts. I'm not sure about any of it to be honest, I saw the consultant about a month back have had all these tests but no results yet.
Harry 3k is so much money :( seems so. Unfair when so many can fall pregnant without even trying. I hope they can give you some other (cheaper ) alternative to try first.

Sorry Harry I got confused 3k for a hysteroscopy or ivf? Think I have been reading too many posts and got in a middle.
Mine is being done on NHS in my local hospital so it can be done.

Ilovechoc- glad to hear you are having both. Even if it doesn't reveal anything you can tick it off the list and it's nice to know they are being thorough. Yes 3k is such a lot Harry unfortunately. Ask for the price as it may be a little less but I seem to remember it being that when I enquirered here as I wanted to see if it was still cheaper to go abroad with all the extra that involved expenses. Just a thought, if you know you have fibroids you could go and see your NHS doctor and see if there is a chance they would consider offering you a hysteroscopy to remove them? Worth a try.

Harry- that doesn't sound right to me. Remind me did you get referred to a fertility consultant through the NHS? With secondary infertility you are not entitled to ivf but definitely diagnostic tests and other treatment options e.g clomid, laparoscopy and hysteroscopy must be an option if seeming necessary.