IVF Cycle buddies March/April

[Hobbes39]

I know we are only partway through February, but I'm down to start our 2nd round of IVF once my period starts at the end of this month, so thought I'd start a cycle buddies thread now as I gear up..!
Our history is that we have a 3.5yo DS, naturally conceived, but have been trying for a sibling for 2 years now... we had an ectopic pregnancy just over a year ago, but after that nothing... so as I'll be 40 next month, we decided there wasn't time to waste anymore and had all the tests last year but we are 'unexplained'... so we had a cycle of IVF in November/December but sadly was unsuccessful as ended in a chemical pregnancy. So here we go again - fingers crossed it's 2nd time lucky...! If anyone else is starting soon then would be great to have the support! Xx

lulah you poor thing, that's really rotten for you.
bee don't give up yet. So hard though.
Thanks for everyone's advice, v kind of you.
nemo and ozzy hang on in there, easier said than done.
Good luck for those of you thinking about your Frosties cycles
gee I think you're right, it either works or it doesn't no matter what we do. Jut wish they could get it right first time for all of us!!

lulah hope you're feeling better after a rotten week.

Good luck for your OT tomorrow Bee I've got my fingers crossed for you. Not long for you Nemo and Ozzy either, hope you're both hanging in there ok.

Thinking of all of you moving on to the next round with frosties x

AFM you weren't kidding about the 2ww, it really is the worst part. Only 4dp5dt and I'm obsessing over every twinge. Woke up at 3am this morning with really painful cramps. Trying to keep distracted but test day seems so far away.

Hello everyone, I hope you are all having a good bank holiday weekend, with lots of distractions and cuddles from OHs.
I have a question that I have been thinking about a lot because of my own situation. What are your feelings towards your frozen embryos? Do you feel responsible for them? How does everyone feel about the prospect of some not getting used?
Does anyone else have occasional moments of panic that there might be a power cut at the storage facility or is that just me?! (My husband assures me they will have back up generators, which I'm sure is right.)

Hi laurel. It's a good question and quite controversial I guess. I only have one frozen embryo at the moment. I have to say that I don't really think about it very much to be honest. Possibly because I seem to feel very relatively detached from the embryos generally until they turn into a pregnancy (which has never happened yet!). I thought when they put one inside me I'd feel "pregnant" in the PUPO phase but I didn't at all. I would definitely assume the clinic had generators etc for a power cut so wouldn't worry about that.
My DH and I think if a bloody miracle happened and we ever get pregnant, have a couple of kids, think our family is complete and for any reason have frozen embies left over, we'll donate them to research/training and it wouldn't keep me awake. What stage in a cycle are you at?

Thank you geeup, it's very interesting to hear your thoughts and I wish you well in your treatment.
I had my egg collection on 1st April, and all embryos frozen after some cells taken from them for pre-Implantation genetic testing. Those test results are now mostly back and we will have FET in May.

Hi laurel - I'm the same really as Geeup....I don't know how I would feel if we had any 'left over' as we just have the one and are going to try again with that, but the thought did cross my mind briefly when I was in my tww this time and it was in the freezer. I personally don't see the embryo as anything I'm emotionally attached to yet as like Geeup said, until it turns into an actual pregnancy I'm quite detached. To me, it's no different to all the eggs that don't get fertilised each month, but I know to some people it might be... but until it's implanted then it's not a potential person, just a bunch of cells.
I take it that you have a few that the testing shows are viable? Which is brilliant, and I'd be delighted to be in that position! I know we would donate to research if we had spares, as I def wouldn't want to waste them or be able to cope with donating to another couple as I couldn't deal with the possibility of knowing there would be a genetic child of ours out there... (I don't even know if that's possible in this country, but believe it is elsewhere). Good luck x

Oh musha we know your pain, the tww is terrible. It's the longest wait & mentally draining. Having this thread has helped keep me sane by having a place to share, read up & know that I'm not alone. I hope it helps you in the next 8 days or so!

Interesting question indeed laurel. I'm in same mindset as gee & hobbes that they are just s bunch of cells & I don't feel connected to them. I have one frozen embie & I just feel so much hope that it might be 'the successful' one in a future FET. I personally felt more connected & involved during the stimulation process when I was growing my follies & it felt more 'real' as I had symptoms & was bloated. It was like I was growing something fir sure (call me crazy?!). I've been the same as hobbes, I haven't felt pregnant during PUPO, which is due to lack of any symptoms & probably a protection mechanism to not be too hopeful.

Exciting your FET is just around the corner now laurel. Fingers crossed for you.

Thank you very much hobbes and gee. It's very good to read your thoughts. I have to say I feel very responsible for our frozen embryos. To me they feel like a human life. I can quite understand other people feeling very differently. I think it might be because of my miscarriages. With the first and last I had close encounters with the embryo/fetus, as they were intact in their little sac. You feel so sorry for the little thing.
It made me think for a long time about what it is to be human and when the human soul is created, if indeed we have one.
Your approach is undoubtedly more sensible than mine!
Thank you very much for your good wishes. We're very fortunate that we have some normal embryos (also two inconclusives) although I have so far never been able to carry a pregnancy past 12 weeks so I don't want to get my hopes up.
Good luck everyone X

Good question laurel, I would say I feel a little connected. I have thought about left over embies if we don't need to use them all and that I wouldn't want to just throw them away as they are a part of me and a possible human life!
I don't think you should panic about a power cut.. I'm sure they are well prepared for such things!

AFM I'm now 6dp5dt and feeling nothing! I've had a really bad day today where I just think it hasn't worked 😞 I've even been googling how early people have tested and got positive results and thinking about testing tomorrow 7dp5dt. Hopefully I'll have a better day tomorrow and talk myself out of it! It's such a horrible feeling, I feel like I just need to know one day or another!!

What's your OTD Ozzy? I would try and hold off on testing till then if I were you, imagine how crappy you'll feel if you get a BFN by testing too early

Hi Ozzy thank you for your reply. I haven't had my FET yet, but with my natural pregnancies (all miscarriages) I used to make myself wait until I was a few days late for my period before testing, as otherwise it's a waste of a £5 test! I used to focus on a mantra "all will be revealed in the end" and imagine the days before home pregnancy tests existed.

My OTD is Thursday.. But I have to go into the hosp at 9am and do it there. I'll be going on my own as OH is away at work so I feel like I want to know before I get there so that I don't have a complete break down if it's bad news!

I can understand that, can you test at home early morning Thursday before you go in? If not then at least wait till Wednesday.

Do it first thing at home as EMU will be the best! Even if it's not positive (and I bet it is) you have so many more chances, with your frozen embryos X

Hi all, hope everyone's had a lovely bank holiday weekend.

Just checking in to see how you got on today bee - today was your OTD wasn't it? Have had my fingers crossed for you.

ozzy - is your OH away on Wednesday? If not, maybe you could do an hpt with him then?

Yes he's away all week every week (he's in the military so not really any way around it).
I've decided I'll do it first thing weds morning and again thurs morn before I go.. I've bought the tests ready which I'm beginning to regret as now they're just staring at me 👀

Sorry to hear he's away so much ozzy - I'm sure you're used to it but must be extra difficult to have him away at the moment. Will be doing a virtual hand-hold for you on Weds! Pop the tests in a drawer you don't use regularly and try and forget they're there for 48 hours!

Yes, thinking of you Bee! xx

Hang on in there Ozzy and Musha xx

OTD for me tomorrow! 😬

Good luck for tomorrow nemo!

Thanks lulah, Yes I am used to it and usually love having my own space, but I'd really love him to be there on thurs 😣
I'm trying to think positive and that every day without AF is a good thing!

Good luck for tomorrow nemo 🤞🏼 x

Any news Bee? Thinking of you x

Good luck for tomorrow Nemo x

Thanks for the thoughts, ladies. I'm so sad to confirm it's a definite BFN. OH & I are feeling really blue and know the only way forward is to focus on next steps. But with low hopes. I just wish I knew why the little embies weren't sticking and I could do something about it. It's so hard.

Hope this week flies for you musha in the final part of your tww. When are you thinking of testing? Your OTD is 9/10 May?

Also not long to go ozzy - are you managing to stay away from the tests and hidden them away as lulah suggested?! How was the hen weekend?

lulah - you have your FET appointment this week?

Good luck today nemo! Thinking of you!

I'm so sorry bee. Nothing I can say to make it easier. Like you say, we all wish we just knew the big Why when they don't stick. God I'd do anything to know. Be kind to yourself, do something that normally makes you happy. Take time.

I'm so sorry bee take care of yourself xx

So sorry to hear that Bee look after yourself, nothing I can say to help.

They told me to go in for bloods on 10th but that I can test at home on 9th, but I'm thinking about testing on 7th as that will be 11dp5dt and if it is bad news I'll have all day to cry it out before I have to go in to work.