TTC for 18 months or more. Moving onto IUI/IVF/ICSI -part 2

[bluebird3]

We have relocated from the conception board where we were previously chatting under the thread 'ttc for 10 months or more'. A lot of us are now long term ttc-ers and are going through infertility treatment or looking to take steps in this direction so we feel this might be a more suitable home for us!

Feel free to stop by and say hi and hopefully we can share the journey together and make it a little easier along the way!

Hey all. I have been away for what seems like an age and havent caught up with everything. Did see your bad news though blue, really sorry to hear about that. Ivf odds are such a bitch, it honestly almost makes me not want to try....almost! I was saying to my OH the other night how I wish we could just switch off wanting a baby. I so wish I didn't care and could be one of those people who are like "Oh, we can't have kids? Well that's just how it is I guess" (if these people actually exist?!)
Hi to meadow and london. london was it you going to care northampton? It's our closest clinic so its on our list. It is hugely more expensive than some others within an hour's travel though so its not at the top! Current estimate for ivf timing is still sitting at next summer. If I havent gone stark raving insane by then, which is definitely a possibility. I get that nhs budgets arent infinite and they have to have cuts somewhere but I am sure the effects this has on mental health aren't ok and shpuldnt be brushed off cos we already have a child in the family. I mean we are lucky that although it will take ages to save for we can do it. Some people arent that lucky and that doesnt seem fair at all. Im still hoping for an unexpected windfall to pay for it lol
Sorry that your iui didnt work either where. Crappy news there too.
Hi to everyone else too :) sorry if I missed any other news, I only skimmed.

Good news gee will be thinking of you and wishing you luck Friday

Sorry you're here jelly - I remember you from another thread. I know what you mean about being stuck in limbo. I'm really struggling to cope with the emotional side of things at the moment - and I tend to be a glass half full person too. Infertility wears you down. I'm wishing you all the best with clomid and hope this is the thing that does the trick for you

Hi pterodactyl I'm in London actually 😉 you must be thinking of someone else. Your IVF waiting list is over a year? I thought mine was bad at 6 months 😔 couldn't agree more about the impact of this on mental health - I think we're going to have to seek out counselling as I'm not coping very well.

Does anyone else find it affects your sleep, the worry and stress? I'm not sleeping well at all. I feel like I'm going through mental anguish over this and it's affecting every area of my life 😔. Sorry to be so miserable!

Hi ladies I'm 8dp 5dt when would be a good time to do a test? Bear in mind I had a morula at day five so they say it's a day behind was due my AF today been having cramping going on for the past week. Having other symptoms but putting that down to the pessaries. Anyone had a similar situation? X

I'd test today but have your clinic not told you a day?

They said ten days but surely it would show around now wouldn't it?

I thought it was 14 days after egg collection but no expert as haven't done it yet!!

Well done one but it was bfn :-/

Oh no I'm so sorry kct. It may still be too early but I can only imagine how disappointed you're feeling. Look after yourself, wait a couple of days and try again.

Thanks gee just waiting for the af now x good luck to everyone

Kct i bet it is a bit too early yet, don't count yourself out yet.
Sorry london, the clue is in the name there really isnt it haha. Mine isn't a waiting list though, we are self funding. Yes it affects my sleep too. I also find some nights I spend hours googling things we can do to improve sperm count and ways to get a natural pregnancy. Even though i know it is stupid I cant help it. I have considered counselling too, I don't think I am coping at all. It's been 8 months since we found out we needed ivf and I am still a mess. Massively improved emotionally as in I rarely cry any more but in terms of how I feel about myself and the situation....really not doing too well. I try telling myself that ok it isnt fair but life isnt fair, there are worse things to be dealing with etc, all of which is true, but it doesnt really make me feel any better tbh. I think the fact we have so long to save up doesnt help either, seems entirely pointless. Although we are currently awaiting a mortgage decision which is taking up any savings we did have which is a bit silly in a way but we both want more stability etc.

Hi Jelly welcome sorry that your joining us but you couldnt be talking to a bunch of nicer ladies. Unexplained is a PITA isnt it.

London Im sorry that you are suffering so much . I know its hard we are here if you need to vent. Counselling is a great idea i had it years ago for a MC that i had and it helped greatly. No one would blame you for being upset. You are not weak and it is a hard thing to deal with.

Kct Just wait another few days. I wish you the best of luck.

Ptera I am dissapointed to see you here. You were gone so long i had hoped you had a BFP!

Ah scottish, if only!! Thanks for thinking of me though :) x

Thanks everyone for the lovely welcome.

Ptera - it's me that is being referred to Care Northampton. We get one free cycle on the NHS. If that doesn't work (and I'm projecting ahead a few months here as we've only just been referred) we might look at a clinic abroad rather than staying with them. But that's all in the future...

Kct -you're not out just yet, still got my fingers crossed for you.

Geeup - thanks for the tip re having a private ultrasound with Clomid, I hadn't considered it. The first three months I had on Clomid I had very heavy, painful periods - much worse than normal. It definitely felt like it was doing 'something', but not sure if that was a good or bad thing in terms of my lining so it'd be good to understand it a bit more.

Welcome Jelly sorry you find yourself here but good to have you!

kct i'm keeping my fingers crossed for you that you just tested too early, there's still a chance x

No news here still down regging and its dragging on, finding it hard this time, not sleeping well, feeling teary, stressy and miserable, infertility is such fun

BUN and CR are two abbreviations for kidney function blood tests. Or it may say renal.

Haha 😮 sorry! Wrong forum!

Sorry you're finding it tough Hope. It's such a rollercoaster and you're not alone at all. The whole weekend I was feeling really positive and planning all my meals and buying supplements and doing yoga and generally feeling like we had every chance possible of it all being a success. But then my DH got back from a lads weekend away and mentioned there'd been a hot tub at their hotel. I was absolutely flabbergasted.
Here I am doing everything humanly possible (including daily meditation) to try and increase our chances, and then it turns out he's been having hot tubs when the reason were bloody having icsi is because of his dodgy morphology. I am so frustrated. He just doesn't see the point of him trying to change anything and just seems to think that with only 3 weeks to go until his "deposit" he can't change anything now.
What are your OHs doing to prepare for IVF/ICSI? Am I be unreasonable expecting him to forego hot tubs and saunas and cut the booze? Is there any point at this stage? I figure there is as if this one fails we're probably 3 months away from our next cycle!

Hey Gee, I know it's frustrating, but actually I think that with icsi, even with really poor morphology they only need to find a single healthy sperm for each egg. So even if you respond super well and get twenty eggs, that is still easily doable with just a few thousand good sperm. Still annoying though - he needs to get back on the super healthy kick, just in case. Odds are though that you'll get pregnant this round, and if not you will hopefully have a couple frozen so you can do a FET without worrying about his hot tub action!

Good luck with your scan Friday 😊

My DH is pretty good - he's been on proxeed religiously since Jan 2016 and has given up caffeine and cycling. He still drinks, but has cut down (very slightly). Things are improving but I'm still not pregnant over a year on. I'm feeling pretty awful. Had a girls weekend just now and of those in relationships all but one was either pregnant or has one or two kids. The one who isn't/hasn't is 4 years younger and got married in the summer so I imagine she'll not be far off. In the time I've been trying I've lost count of the number of friends who've announced they were trying and have now given birth. And they weren't all instadiffers - one took 6 months, had a miscarriage and took another 8 months to get pregnant again and she'll give birth in May and I'll still be on the starting block. I'm getting overwhelmed by how horribly unfair it feels

Hope everyone's doing OK. I have my protocol appointment next Tuesday then will need to wait a full cycle before I can start treatment again.

Kct, I read your update yesterday and I think you should test again with your first wee of the day. It's the most concentrated and since you're testing early you need that. In other words (and for what it's worth) I don't think you'll use out yet

Hi all, gosh you are all so chatty! Partially my fault that I've been absent on here for a little bit but I've been thinking of you all! Right - epic catch up coming up...

Welcome londonjam - you are in the right place here although I'm sorry you are here at all! I hope you've managed to stop googling (I know it's hard!) but google is not your friend in this situation! Hope your May appointment comes round soon!

Scottish so pleased you are now on the waiting list! Hoping for a natural BFP before you get started though of course.

Kct sorry to hear about the BFN but it may be too early - still praying for you.

Welcome meadow and I'm sorry you had a crap hycosy experience.

Where I'm sorry to hear the iui didn't work this time. Good luck for the next one - did you say you were doing 3 goes? Oh just read about the cyst - sorry to hear that how frustrating I had one too with one of my cycles.

Blue I'm not surprised about you rubbish birthday, so sorry it wasn't the news you were hoping for. Please come back when you are ready to and for the next cycle - enjoy the wedding in the US. I think I would do 2 next time if I was in your position like you said.

Welcome Ella! Agree with it being frustrating and boring! When can you expect to start IVF?

Hope sorry you are finding it harder this time hope DH is looking after you and you can come here to moan as much as you want.

Gee hope down regging is going ok - do you start stims soon (sorry if you've said already!). Ours isn't MFI so my DH takes the wellman conception vits but that's it. But I would be annoyed too if I was in your position! Like star says though if you are having icsi they will take the best. I would still perhaps say something though!

Star I hear you about the unfairness - it really is. I think about how unfair it is all the time. I'm always in constant fear that my friends will instadiff (which so far they have all - trying one month / didn't even get a period after stopping the pill).

Well as for me I was surprised to get a call to book in my protocol appointment this morning! I though I wouldn't hear from them until March. I've just had AF so still have to wait for April AF but I'm still pleased as I thought I would be chasing them for an appointment and I was worried I wouldn't get one until after April AF started! Protocol appointment is next Wednesday

Hi all,
Just wanted to say hello & that I'm thinking of you all. kct I have everything crossed for you.
Not much to report here as I'm a little behind you all. Just at the 'talking & testing' stage with the infertility clinic at the moment but they did talk about the IVF team in my appointment so I may be heading that way. Definately a while off yet though

geeup i can see why you're annoyed with your DH, especially when its male factor, not that its about blame but since you have to go through all the medication and are trying to eat healthily, take supplements etc...the least he can do is make an effort!

My DH has been really good, we have male factor so are having ICSI too and since finding out a few years back he has been on fertilisan supplements for men plus extra vitamins, he has never smoked, hardly drinks, has given up hot baths and tries to eat a healthy diet. He even keeps his laptop off his lap now too bless him!
It hit him hard finding out we needed ICSI and he was gutted when our cycle failed last year so he does do everything he can to help improve our chances!
He is good and lets me cry when i need too and tries to cheer me up, he needs a medal some days for putting up with my changing moods!!!

star i hear you with how horribly unfair it all is, i'm the only one left in my circle of friends now that doesnt have children, some of them have more than one and all of them have fallen quickly. I dont see much of them at the moment as i just find it too hard.

maple great news about your call, hope your appointment goes well next week, April will be here before you know it!

Kct thinking of you and hoping it was too early 💐

Gee ugh I would be so cross too. Christ how hard is it to say no to a hot tub??? Just because you're having IVF does not mean they can throw the towel in.

Ptera I'm with you on the googling. It's so hard to step away from. I'm not sure if it helps or not - I want to find out as much as I can - but I come away feeling just as frustrated and confused. We have also just taken out our first mortgage - we exchanged contacts the day after we had our initial fertility appointment and found out we were being referred onto an 8 month waiting list for ICSI. Had to have a horrible conversation about whether to pull out of the house purchase altogether - but like you we wanted the stability more so we went for it. It feels so unfair that we even have to take this into account. I have to keep reminding myself however we are not the first or only people to go through this - and that we're lucky to have options.

Thanks Scottish how are you doing?

Hope sorry you're finding the process hard it sounds like the meds don't help 💐 your OH sounds very supportive. I think being referred for ICSI must be affecting my DH but he seems completely in denial about it at the moment

Star that sounds so so hard having all those pregnant / parenting friends 😔 I had a work friend over for dinner on Saturday and she told me she's 8 weeks pregnant and that she was getting very upset as it took them 6 months to conceive. I'm genuinely very happy for her she's a lovely friend but god it hit me hard. The next day I woke up feeling a curtain of sadness had come down, went for a run to try and clear it but ended up just crying on my run! Ugh

Maple you are right I need to step away! Great news about your appointment ... not sure what a protocol appointment is?

I have a question about MFI actually!

I emailed Serum clinic in Athens today to find out a bit about the process. The lovely lady emailed me back and said initially they would want to test us for infection - as a simple infection can affect morphology and he easily treated. Has anyone heard of this?? Why would the NHS not mention it or test for it?

She also said your DH sperm count is very high so we would recommend trying to ejaculate more regularly to clear out old dead sperm, and that might help. She said daily ejaculation would be ideal.

Again is this a thing? I don't want to get my hopes up that we could conceive naturally. DH does keep things regular - although not that regular ...

I was expecting her to sell me IVF a bit harder to be honest!

London it's where they go through what protocol you will be on - the drugs you take / dosage / when etc. Then I should be able to start once AF arrives!

About your q - we aren't MFI but we did do a "culture" test on DH which was checking for bacteria / infection. But we were only asked to do it when they put us on the list for IVF - no mention of it before. Not sure about the sperm count and daily ejaculation - I always thought every other day was meant to be best?

I think it's nice that there wasn't a hard sell! That would put me off if they had we would look to go abroad if our NHS cycle doesn't work.

Hey guys i name changed btw i was an idiot and posted on a indy ref thread and got nothing but abuse for having an opinion and i dont need that shit putting me in a bad mood the reason i started talking on this was so that i can talk to people about infertility. If i wanted an argument about politics i can get that at work haha.

its ScottishThistle123 Btw.

London im ok ...why is it that we make our selves sad reading threads that are titled Reproduction is incredible ????? I was reading it feeling sorry for myself ... Looking at what lucky people feel and i had noticed that you were posting. Having to read people yaping on about how god loves them and thats why they have kids ... I could not stop thinking well he must fucking hate me then ROFL But honetly i do try not to feel bitter. I am always happy for people as fertility for them does not affect my infertility and i would never wish anyone this pain.

Wishing you all baby dust.