TTC for 18 months or more. Moving onto IUI/IVF/ICSI -part 2

[bluebird3]

We have relocated from the conception board where we were previously chatting under the thread 'ttc for 10 months or more'. A lot of us are now long term ttc-ers and are going through infertility treatment or looking to take steps in this direction so we feel this might be a more suitable home for us!

Feel free to stop by and say hi and hopefully we can share the journey together and make it a little easier along the way!

Hi london. Sorry you find yourself here but you are very welcome. I hate MFI. It's so unfair that there really is no other treatment than ivf.

I'm still devastated but better than yesterday. I'm scared I'll never have a baby. I just can't believe this is happening to me. All my friends have babies and it was easy. I just want to scream. Everyone is like...you're so strong. I'm not strong. I don't have any choice in the matter. If ivf doesn't work....then what?

Im Sorry to hear that blue Are you planning on doing annother IVF?. You are strong! You are strong because you have to be but if we dont take chances in life we would never know.

Welcome kct shary london although i am sorry that you find yourself here.

So im on the waiting list now i think that it is just under a year (Mixed feelings, im excited things are progressing but im sad that IVF is what has to happen. They said that there is a fair bit of paperwork. Can anyone please shine a bit of light of what this consists of ? I just want to be as prepared as i can be.

Wishing everyone Lots of Luck

So sorry you're feeling so low. It's just awful and it's just bad luck - like you say there is little we can do. I said to DH that it's a test for our marriage and getting through it together will make us stronger - that's one strength I can take. I also feel incredibly grateful that IVF exists - although like you say there are no guarantees.
Where are you up with treatment? Hugs from me.

Thanks Scottish do you live in Scotland? That's great you are on the list. We don't get referred until our next appointment which is the end of May.... I'm trying to move it forward but they won't until they have SA results so trying to get an earlier SA.. the lab won't answer their phone! Grrrrrrr

Sorry if this is a stupid question but your posts just got me thinking. If you have IVF privately whilst on the NHS waiting list do you loose your NHS round? Or can you have it done privately first & then have it on the NHS if it doesn't work and its your turn on the waiting list? Like I say apologies if its a daft question I just genuinely don't know the answer!

Hi London

London yes i am in scotland. 6-8 months is not long atall (Although it feels like forever) you never know we may possibly cycle around the same time. Lets just hope time fast forwards for us. Just keep trying them to see if they have any free appointments. I wish us all some BFP's in the meantime.(I feel like i have kept Clearblue afloat)

Shary yes you can be put on the NHS waiting list and have IVF done private. You will only lose your NHS funding if you get pregnant whilst doing your private round. Private treatment does not count as one of your NHS rounds as far as i am aware.

Hi shary

Scottish Yes, here is to getting our BFPs before the NHS IVF kicks in. Is there something known that's stopping you conceiving naturally?

I'm not coping too well with the appointment outcome. I know it sounds silly but I was totally unprepared to have an internal scan and I've never had that done by a man before. I found it really mortifying. I'm also just reeling from being told we're infertile need IVF ICSI and being bundled straight out of the door. There was hardly any time for questions. I get that it's the NHS and they don't have lots of time but this was so abrupt. I asked can we still conceive naturally and they said yes but gave no indication of how likely this is. Maybe they don't know?

I'm not sleeping and all I can do is google morphology again. DH is not being very cooperative and is vehemently defending his right to drink alcohol. He's running the marathon next month you would have thought this would be the perfect excuse to stop drinking for a while. He's so in denial about it. He says he thinks it will just happen and we won't need treatment. He's not the one getting his period every month.

Ugh. So much to process.

Hey ladies ... hope everyone is doing well!!
Well I had my transfer this morning.
It wasn't at the blastocyst stage it was at the morula stage.
So I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing they also never gave me the rating of it just said it was the best of the bunch.

Can anyone tell me weather I've still got a good chance feel a bit disheartened.

Also my Oh heard them talking about a split? Is this good/bad.

No myself and DH are unexplained my doctor is very nice he told me that their is obvously a problem and they could do other tests but the outcome would not change. Still would be needing IVF so it would be a waste of money to do more tests. (Camera in through the belly button / HSG/ A Million scans/ Loads of Blood tests/SA and i have been tested for every STD twice over. Even though i said i do not have one i guess because of my age they just want to tripple check that! and all clear) TTC 2+ Years and we are in our MID 20's so should really have no problem . We are both completley Alcohol Free/ Smoke Free/ Unhealthy food Free. We are in the correct BMI range and i feel like we are never out of our bed DTD so frequency is not an issue. The issue is clearly me though as DH has "super sperm" but he is very supportive and always says that its not my fault and that it is OUR problem together (Trying to make me feel better i reckon).

It sounds like he feels as though it is his fault and he feels like he is letting you down. I know that feeling try a 1 to 1 propper chat talk over all your options (If you havent already) I was really upset and blamed myself all the time but DH noticed and we had a great big chat and spoke about all our options and i feel much better. I really am to the point where i dont get embarased anymore about dr's having a look up there. Im more embarased that people can see the length of time we have been married/together and have no children and im getting comments. Not really that i care what others think but im starting to get the poor you looks.How long have you been TTC?

ktc Congratulations on being PUPO. I wouldnt be disheartened im sure they know what they are doing. I have no idea about your question im sure one of these other lovely ladies might know ? I would assume normal cell devision or you never know possibly early twin stage but please dont quote me on that but i couldnt see it being a bad thing.

Kct sorry I don't know much about that, well done on having your transfer and I hope it all goes well and gets comfy.

Scottish we've talked about nothing else since the appointment and DH is getting fed up with it It's all I can think about though. We have been trying since January last year - we are now on cycle 16. Similar to you we're healthy and in our early 30s. The only problem we are aware of is low morphology. Unexplained category must be so frustrating and baffling, I really hope you are due a nice surprise soon.

London Sometimes you just have to drag your self away from the norm and have night to yourselfes to just enjoy each others company . I hope we all get lovely suprises soon.

kct congrats on transfer! You're PUPO! A morula is the stage before blast. This study found that success rates were comparable with morula and blast transfer so every reason to be hopeful.

link to studyy*

No idea about split, twins?

london I was a bit blindsided at our last appointment when they told us we need icsi. After being told everything was fine before it was a shock! No talk of chance etc of natural conception but our consultant was adamant that lifestyle changes will improve things. Annoyingly dh is also being a bit shit when it comes to not drinking. He's definitely cut down but I think that he should abstain totally as it's such a short time and it's me that is going to have to inject myself full of drugs and (hopefully) abstain from alcohol for at least 9 months! In my grumpier moments I feel pissed off that I feel I'm making all the sacrifices. He's now taking the vitamins he refused for two years at least. It's not that he's not serious about it, just in denial I think. I am not giving him too hard a time as it's shocked him and upset him so I'm treading lightly, tomorrow though I'm having it out with him as he needs to get over it and get on board with getting as healthy as he can.

scottish until this week we were unexplained. It's not necessarily you, my consultant said sometimes it's just a case of compatibility. It's shit though. I actually found it harder with the 'all ok' diagnosis as it could technically happen and I had hope each month! Now I'm resigned to it not happening naturally I'm finding it easier weirdly.

Thanks ladies appreciate your well wishes hope everyone is getting there x

Justtheone I could write your post word for word. Blindsided is the word. Is your issue morphology too, if they've recommended ICSI? How long do you have to wait for treatment? Why do you feel there is no chance at all of it happening naturally?

That's interesting your consultant felt lifestyle changes could make a difference. Ours was very vague on that, just "maybe, maybe not". Not what DH needed to hear!

To be fair yesterday we went to the pub and he had one pint , then we came home and had nothing else - didn't even say he wanted a G&T or a glass of wine - both previously very standard for us on a Sunday. I'll take my victories where I can!

Hi all. Congrats on the transfer kct. Glad you had a nice "just the one" london.
No news from me. Day 5 of down regging injections. No symptoms at all (they tell you to expect hot flushes etc as you are bringing on a fake menopause) so that's a relief. DH thinks I'm being more argumentative than usual though
Life goes on - I have a basal skin carcinoma that needs attention (skin cancer but hopefully nothing to worry about) so off to the hospital today. Hoping it'll provide a cover story for my baseline scan next week too! Not sure how to explain to work the three scans the following week though. Will worry about that nearer the time!

london it's been 3 years so I'm pretty much giving up on it happening naturally now! Even if they hadn't found a problem the odds of it happening after that long are minuscule! Yep low morphology of 1% and low count of

Hi everyone,
Is it alright if I join you here? I don't quite fit with the optimism of the two month TTCers or the multiple failures group.

DH and I are both 35 and TTC #1 for 14 months. One early miscarriage 12 months ago and nothing since. I had a HyCoSy last month and the consultant couldn't see my tubes at all...he said it could be that they were hidden or blocked or had a spasm and shut. The baloon also kept falling out making it harder to do. My AMH and other bloods were okay and DH's SA was on the low side. Because the consultant couldn't do the hycosy, he said he would refer us straight away to IVF. We were stunned and DH is optimistic but I am feeling quite low about it, especially since it seems this is our last resort. I am also nervous for the process (really not fond of jabs) and didn't think I would ever be doing IVF. DH comes from a family of super-fertiles, all pregnant on first goes, lots of babies and 3+ LOs per family! No one in his family knows we have been trying but I am sure they have been wondering so I'm feeling quite like a failure and like I'm letting MIL who I adore down.

I hope that the cycles are going well for those who have started. Cheers to a good week for all.

I hope you got on okay at the hospital today geeup. That's good news the injections aren't having too many side effects. How long do you inject for?

Hi meadow I remember your post from another thread. It's a lot to take in isn't it? I'm wondering about many of those things too - how we feel about IVF, if and when we tell family etc. It's a lot to process. When would you start treatment if they refer you?

I inject the down reg drugs (buserelin) to switch off my ovaries for 15 days and then carry on injecting for another 11 with the stims (menopur) which make the eggs grow. Then once the collection and transfer is done you insert progesterone pessaries for the two week wait and then another 2 months if successful

And hi meadow. I know how you feel. It's such a mind fuck (excuse my French). I hate the fact we have lost out on the chance of a relaxed ttc journey and then a surprise bfp and then the secret 3 months when just we know and then the big reveal. Feel like all that has been stolen and we have to do all this injecting crap and everyone has probably guessed we're doing ivf and will ask us if we're pregnant after I have the two week "holiday" (great way for me to use my annual leave, not!) after egg transfer.
But that's my rant. Really I'm just pleased to be getting going now and fantasising about when I'll give birth and probably jinxing everything. Welcome aboard the journey!

Sounds like you've got it down gee! Your post makes me think I should keep it quieter that we are thinking about doing it. I don't want people putting any pressure on in that TWW. It'll be nerve wracking enough as it is! How come you're having a two week holiday for it? Just to chill? You're doing it in the U.K. Aren't you? Sorry if this is a stupid question...

Yep doing it in the uk. Just want 2 weeks of not commuting or stressing about work between transfer and the test. Lots of people would hate that and it might make the 2ww drag but I plan to go for some gentle walks, do some restorative yoga and watch some funny box sets to make me laugh (Kwick tip!).

Great idea 😇

Just If it wasnt for bad luck i wouldnae have any (Or so it feels) . I could very well beleive that it is a compatibility issue. How many times was your partners SA done ?

Geeup Hopefully they can just remove the carcinoma and it causes you no more problems. Sending best wishes

Welcome Meadow Sorry that you find yourself here but the positive is that everyone here is lovely. I too come from a family of fertiles and DH also. The only person i feel i have let down is my DH. You are not a failure none of us are we just dont have the luck that others do. Feel free to vent here