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Infertility

Our Infertility Support forum is a space to connect with others in the same position, discuss causes, treatment and IVF, and share infertility stories of hope and success.

Failure stories

949 replies

BipBippadotta · 09/07/2016 13:08

I'm far past the point where I'm interested in fertility success stories. Tales of lucky couples who triumphed over impossible biological odds to have their miracle baby make me want to self-immolate. Help me feel less alone in my utter irreversible barrenness by telling me about all the fertility treatments, supplements, folk remedies, voodoo, etc you've tried, that work for every other fucker on the Internet, but did bugger all for you.

I'll start!

Things that didn't work for us:
Grapefruit juice
Guaifeneisin
COQ10
Acupuncture
Vitamin E
Royal jelly
Wheatgrass
Pycnogenol
Low carbing
Inositol & melatonin
Cutting caffeine and alcohol
L-Arginine
Baby aspirin
Maca
B6
Starflower oil
Soy isoflavones
Clomid for DH (to increase sperm count)
Clomid for me
Clomid & injectables
High doses of antibiotics
Prednisone
IVF with ICSI

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19
BipBippadotta · 21/10/2016 11:58

Good luck today, Robber.

OP posts:
YouBoggleMyMind · 21/10/2016 17:18

I'm not part of this thread particularly, although I have had 7 failed clomid cycles, but robber is a friend from another thread we've been on together so I've been following. Robber, I hope your scan went well today. Xxx

tigerdog · 21/10/2016 19:36

Have been thinking of you all day robber, hope things are ok.

I called in my positive result in to the clinic today despite worrying that if I told them it would jinx it. I'm so paranoid again all of a sudden, but running out of drugs and needles forced my hand. No one from the FC returned my call, or the one I made yesterday about needing more drugs. In the end I had to send DH in to get the repeat prescription in person and it took him over two hours to get sorted. I was kind of glad he was the one dealing with the frustrations for once. The whole thing was so shambolic, you'd think that I was the first ever person to call them. I said I'd had a positive test to the nurse, and her response was to ask if I was pregnant. I said I didn't feel comfortable using that phrase until I'd had some proper confirmation. She probably thought I was a dick.

So, limbo for another 3 (!!!) weeks until a scan on 11 November. I'll be 7+6 if there is indeed anything in there, and they only count it as 7 weeks. They don't do blood tests.

Now debating whether I try and tough it out for three weeks, or if I go for private bloods and an earlier scan. The wait seems unbearable and I feel like I'm losing it a bit.

RobberBride · 21/10/2016 21:06

You're all so lovely and Boggle I'm so touched you found me here. I'm incredibly relieved and happy - Bip was right about babies catching up. Embryo is 8+4 today and it is bang on for both length and heartbeat. We saw a little head, a little bum, little arm and leg stubs, and a nice fast heartbeat. It is still early, and I'm terrified about the million things that can go wrong, but so so happy for now.

Really sorry I'm only posting this late, I have no wifi at work and have had a crazy day, I only got home twenty minutes ago and needed to eat something.

Tiger that's fantastic news that it is still positive. If you can bear it, then I'd wait - at 7 weeks (can you get them to scan you any earlier that week?) you should definitely be able to see a heartbeat and a decent fetal pole and the sac etc. Go any earlier (I was scanned around 5+1, 5+3 and 6+4) and you risk having the kind of good-news-bad-news scans I've had.

Side note: the lovely EPU nurse also gave me top tips for getting referred to a NHS consultant for hypermobility. Banana please ignore this question if it is insensitive and painful for you, but you mentioned you'd previously struggled with relaxin - were there any exercises/activities that particularly helped or made it worse? The queue for a decent woman's physio round here is two weeks Sad.

How is everyone else?

YouBoggleMyMind · 21/10/2016 21:09

Really pleased for you robber xxx

BipBippadotta · 21/10/2016 21:11

Fucking hell, Tiger. What a maddening ball ache. I'd advise holding out as long as you can for a scan, as they're almost always inconclusive in one way or another early on, and IME the last thing you need when you're feeling uncertain is official clinical confirmation of uncertainty. So frustrating that your clinic won't do blood tests. Argh. Hang in there.

Robber hope you're doing OK.

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BipBippadotta · 21/10/2016 21:12

X post - glad it was good news, Robber.

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tigerdog · 21/10/2016 21:58

Fantastic news robber, so pleased to see your update.

I know you're right bip but I'm just not sure how to keep myself going until then. Am winding myself up something chronic. Face and neck is itchy and bumpy today, inducing further panic. I think I'll try and find somewhere to do bloods privately.

bananafish81 · 22/10/2016 22:20

Fantastic news Robber absolutely thrilled for you and DH, what a relief. I know the reassurance it offers is short lived, but it is a another hurdle cleared.

In terms of exercises - ask away! Not sure how much help I will be, but v glad you have a referral made in the mean time. Everyone’s issues will vary slightly, but I seem to remember exercises like variations on a clam, and piriformis stretching / using the foam roller or spikey balls on my IT band , being helpful at Pilates My women’s physio told me to come back at 12 weeks - obvs I didn’t get that far, so not sure what she would have recommended after that point. I also found ankle supports pretty invaluable because mine are massively unstable to begin with.

Tiger all sounding most promising indeed! I’d agree with Bip about the scan - an early one can check if the sac is in the right place, but may be too early to see a hb, thereby inducing potentially unnecessary terror (is there no hb cos there’s no hb, or because it’s too early to see one).

Bloods wise, I appreciate that the 3ww is in many way just as bad as the 2ww. Bloods give more info, but if you do them privately, will you be able to get support from your clinic to interpret them? hCG results are so variable, that they have massive potential to shit you up (again, potentially unnecessarily) if you just have the numbers, without the clinical interpretation of a Dr to understand the implications of those numbers

blue completely agree that measuring cervix length is absolutely not a failsafe, and unfortunately these things can (and did) strike completely unexpectedly. However if there are factors that might increase the likelihood of IC, then being aware of them might help to reduce the risk (if not eradicate it entirely), if the measurements indicated the need for a preventative stitch as a cautionary measure. Hope the d/r is going well

bean great news about the cyst!

Skype consult with the US Dr about surrogacy was good - he was really nice, and said we don’t have a fertility problem, we have a lining problem (which is exactly how our Dr has described it). He agreed with all the proposed treatment and said there wasn’t anything he would do differently. Which gives me confidence in our current course of action, but obvs a little part of me would have liked it if there was something that had been overlooked that we could also try.

He said our embryos were precious and that we should proceed carefully - he agreed that 2 more transfers as a limit was sensible. He said we needed to feel we’d tried everything before deciding to move on to surrogacy - but equally that we had an excellent chance with a gestational carrier with euploid blasts.

He said he hoped very much that our current plan would work out but that the only way we’d know would be to have a run at it. Just have to roll the dice and see what happens really. He said to please do keep in touch as let him know how we got on, and that he was there if we needed anything in the mean time.

He did ask me at the end who my consultant was, and apparently knew his name and said that I was in excellent hands. So good to know his reputation crosses the Atlantic!

RobberBride · 24/10/2016 21:35

Tiger how are you doing now? Did you decide about the scan?

Bean any sign of AF?

Bip how are you doing? I saw your thread in pregnancy, I hope you're getting some helpful support.

Banana thanks very much for the exercise tip. I can't believe the queue for a private woman's health physio is so long here - two weeks was the best waiting time of the four physios recommended to me. Imagine what the NHS queue must be like! I'm really glad your Skype consult went well, it is always good to have lots of options.

Wave to everyone else, I hope you're all ok.

beanhunter · 24/10/2016 21:53

Nope. MIA. And another baby bomb today.

PeaOp · 25/10/2016 13:09

Oh bean that is shit. So sorry. Fx AF decides to show up soon x

RobberBride · 25/10/2016 22:03

Bean that is doubly crap, I'm so sorry.

Blueroses99 · 25/10/2016 22:32

Banana I was more wondering why they didn't offer elective cervical stitches more often if there's a risk factor. The surrogacy doctor sounds lovely and reassuring. Good to have options.

Bean hope you don't have to wait too much longer. Sorry about the baby bomb.

I'm feeling so meh while down regging. Hoping all will be well at the scan on Thursday to start stimming.

Hi to everyone else.

beanhunter · 26/10/2016 17:49

Hey folks.
So tentatively we are finally off the starting blocks. Repeat scan today on day 2 was all clear so starting stims tonight. Actually terrified. Feel sick at the prospect. So scared that will have a similar disaster to last time

RobberBride · 26/10/2016 21:31

Bean that's fantastic! I think it is normal to feel like that. Is this short protocol? Will they monitor you closely?

Blue I wondered that too. I think it is because the cerclage also has risks, and because it is cheaper for the NHS to give you progesterone pessaries and cross their fingers.

beanhunter · 26/10/2016 22:27

Yes short robber. First scan Sunday and then at least every 2 days until ec.

icy121 · 26/10/2016 22:58

bean best of luck, makes complete sense that you feel sick with anxiety. Be kind to yourself etc. Hope stabbing isn't dreadful, may the needles be sharp and short xx

bananafish81 · 27/10/2016 08:01

Good luck bean - everything crossed

EarlGreyT · 29/10/2016 18:05

I'm late to the party which no one wants to be at. You are my kind of people. This is a brilliant thread. I've laughed and cried (sometimes with laughter and sometimes with sadness at the absolute shite people have been through) my way through the entire thread. I only wish I'd found this thread sooner.

Although the thread has moved on a bit since the start, I'm going to list the things that haven't worked for us as I think it'll be cathartic.
'Just relaxing'
Reducing caffeine
No caffeine
Reducing alcohol
No alcohol
Lots of alcohol and drunk sex
Timed sex
Not telling Mr EGT why we're having sex
Holidays (to 'just relax')
Proxeed plus for him
Co enzyme q10
Zinc
Vitamin E
vitamin B complex
Vitamin C
Vitamin D
Huge dose folic acid
Acupuncture
Massage (to help with the 'just relaxing', although someone then told me that massage released toxins from the tissues so I probably actually poisoned my follicles/eggs/ovaries/endometrium/embryos or something)
Visualising my follicles growing
Visualising those embryos hanging on and implanting
Prednisolone
Intralipid
Aspirin
Clexane
IVF with ICSI/IMSI X5
Endometrial scratch
Sex after failed IVF hoping to be one of those lucky people getting pregnant shortly after failed IVF
Giving up on fertility treatment and trying to 'just get pregnant naturally'- I'm sure you've all heard stories of those people who've "had 10/50/200 cycles of IVF, given up and then just got pregnant naturally" so understand where this ridiculous and unsuccessful idea has come from.

I'm glad I didn't know about the USB microscope thing earlier as I may have been tempted to try that!

EarlGreyT · 29/10/2016 18:14

If I was feeling really brave, I'd post this on AIBU, but I'm not that brave, so can I ask here? Is it unreasonable to hate it when people bring their child(ren) to fertility clinic? I just don't get it. The waiting area of my clinic is for (in)fertility clinic, no other clinic shares the waiting area and I just can not understand how people can be so insensitive as to bring their babies/children to the clinic. I get that arranging childcare can be difficult and expensive, but I just think that people bringing them to fertility clinic is so unbelievably selfish and insensitive it makes me really angry. I know I'm probably just a bitter barren, but still.

bananafish81 · 29/10/2016 18:31

EarlGrey god no, I’m completely with you. I was absolutely horrified when I went in to the clinic and saw not one, but two different families with little ones in the reception. It’s a fertility clinic FFS! Hey, so this is a place for barrens - well, guess what, you’re the barrenest of the barrens, look at these people who’ve managed to breed, well, NOT YOU!!!

I was utterly gobsmacked that anyone would even contemplate doing this.

Maybe we barrens don 't understand the complexities of arranging childcare, what with us being so utterly barren and all.

Bitter and intolerant barrens that we are. Urgh.

PotatoesPastaAndBread · 30/10/2016 07:47

Been MIA for a while but popping in to add two things

One, yes, kids in an infertility clinic. Why? Would you take your supermodel thin friend to Weightwatchers in a bikini?

Two, I remembered another thing we tried (thanks for your list, earl, it prompted me!). DH does Chinese martial arts. His teacher/tutor recommended some herbal thing. It was a large lump of black tar (chewy goo flavoured with honey and aniseed, yes it was as gross as it sounds) sealed in a ping pong ball sized lump of white wax. Although the first time I took it, I thought the wax was part of it and bit right in.

Tutor assured DH they have worked EVERY TIME he has prescribed them.

We are still childless.

RobberBride · 30/10/2016 11:44

Bean how did the scan go today?

Earl welcome! This party isn't over. It is more like Hotel California - you can checkout anytime you like, but you can never leave. (Or in other words, even if you get pregnant or you manage to have children, the feeling of being on the wrong side of the stats never leaves you.) Are you being treated at the moment?

Potatoes sounds like the infertility equivalent of the Mumsnet Classic where the OP's DH eats the fatball. How are you doing?

Banana have you had any more appointments recently?

Bip and Tiger I hope things are still going well.

Hello to Jason Isaacs, and to everyone else.

RobberBride · 30/10/2016 11:47

Also, has anyone seen Icy lately? I saw her pop up on the pregnant after infertility thread (which I'm still too scared to join) and then vanish. I hope she's ok. Same question about Pea - I haven't seen her around. However I've had limited screen time (laptop went 'puff'), so I might just have missed them.