Failure stories

[BipBippadotta]

I'm far past the point where I'm interested in fertility success stories. Tales of lucky couples who triumphed over impossible biological odds to have their miracle baby make me want to self-immolate. Help me feel less alone in my utter irreversible barrenness by telling me about all the fertility treatments, supplements, folk remedies, voodoo, etc you've tried, that work for every other fucker on the Internet, but did bugger all for you.

I'll start!

Things that didn't work for us:
Grapefruit juice
Guaifeneisin
COQ10
Acupuncture
Vitamin E
Royal jelly
Wheatgrass
Pycnogenol
Low carbing
Inositol & melatonin
Cutting caffeine and alcohol
L-Arginine
Baby aspirin
Maca
B6
Starflower oil
Soy isoflavones
Clomid for DH (to increase sperm count)
Clomid for me
Clomid & injectables
High doses of antibiotics
Prednisone
IVF with ICSI

Hi ladies

Sorry for lack of update - wanted to write a proper reply and not just waltz in with me me me news

So far so good. It's doubled! Still low obvs. Only 33. Wasn't going to be much higher given where it was on Sat. But out of 'equivocal' and into 'pregnant'. At least something has tried to implant - and hopefully just a late implanter and a lazy bastard who was wandering around aimlessly before it found somewhere to get comfy. Go back on Friday for a repeat 🙏

That's fab banana. Keeping all crossed.

When was your transfer day and how many days past now?

Good news banana, fingers crossed

Go Banana!! It has doubled AGAIN - this is getting exciting!! If you were a 'normal person' you would be thinking about taking a pregnancy test, and it would be positive. You would be pregnant, end of story.

Blondes I know you are right - Banana has showed me this week that testing early can create enormous confusion. I'm just keeping Wednesday as my target so as not to test today or tomorrow. I need something to focus on that feels 'cheekily early' but also 'marginally realistic' at the same time.

Sad but true!

Excellent news, Banana!

Banana that's such good news. (How many sticks will you have peed on before Friday though?)

Bip how is the shopping? And when is the next scan?

Icy and LH how is the symptom spotting? The constipation is back here, yay.

PeaOp congrats on getting one on board!

Wave to Blonde, Tiger and anyone else.

Sorry for me me me but please can someone hand me a grip? Yesterday was 14dpo, which on my previous menopur cycle was when the painters turned up. I cracked and POAS, a one-month-out-of-date internet cheapie measuring 10iu. There was a second (faint) line. Repeated the experiment with another cheapie. Another second faint line. Today mid morning I POAS (an in-date test measuring 20iu) and got a faint line. DH hugs me, tells me he can also see a line but it is really faint so it might be a chemical, and that he's going to confiscate all my sticks until Wednesday, my OTD. As I can no longer POAS, I'm on half hourly knicker-checking for the missing period. In our two years of trying I've ovulated twice, and this is my first sniff of a BFP. Is it normal to feel terrified and happy and sick at the same time? And really constipated?

Oooh robber! I have had THE FEELING that you would be getting a BFP this week. Fingers crossed it isn't a chemical. I think you're probably feeling about right, everything crossed for you.

Such good news banana! Tentative whoop!

Loving the influx of good news on this thread. icy and LH who is up next?

Scan today, all fine and back in 10 days for a further scan and to schedule transfer. So bloody slow.

Go Robber - that is fabulous news!! You have your positive, now wait until Wednesday (is that your OTD?) when it will be proper!! So excited or you!

I think Icy and I both plan to test on Wednesday....in the meantime I am horribly bloated and constipated. I need some ACTION!!!!

Thank you . It is nice just to tell some people! LH yup Wed is OTD so I'll be testing (again!) with you and Icy.

Tiger everything about this whole infertility thing is slow! But at least there's some progress for you. How was your holiday?

Solidarity sisters. I am also bloody constipated, which never usually happens to me. It's miserable.

Holiday was lovely robber, just chilled out and walked a lot. Ate a bit too much and read three novels! Heaven.

Great news, Robber! And fingers crossed for everyone else waiting to test Weds.

Congratu-fahkin-Latinos Robber that's (hopefully) amazing! Try not to stress between now and OTD fuck it. I'd piss on everything from now until then but if you have the willpower not to then power to you ✊ really hope it's a keeper - hurrah when barrens diff!

No constipation here I'm pleased to report. I feel like I'm a bit of a fraud because I feel no more shit than usual... The drugs haven't knocked me sideways that much (vs the stimming fuck me that was dire), and the pills/arse bullets are just things I need to remember to do. I said on the FB group, I time the AM bullet for around 9/9.30 at work after I've had an in-office poo (poo and get paid for it, and be vair liberal with loo roll etc etc) so that's been okay. If i test on weds it'll be 6dp5dt and that's probably too early to see shit. But then it's another day of bfn to ease me into it if this cycle has been a washout.

Read the Alex Jones mailonline article today, some gratifying "fuck her I've spent 10 years and 30k on this shit and I have fucking nothing to show for it" with fewer expletives (baffling. I can't look at her without thinking -""cunt"-- "CUNT" these days. I'm sure she's not a horrible person but she's the sodding fertile face of infertility. Eh?!)

at least when I'm sleeping I'm not stressing. On that note.....

Obviously it's not congrau-Latinos. Not quite up there with blow for morning sickness, although same part of the world, eh.... ¿Sí o que? In my best narco voice

Great news robber!!!! This is all sounding most promising indeed!! 💪

Hurrah for lift-off tiger - thinking thickest thoughts for you

And nice work on getting en-embryo-nated peaop!

potatoes Hope you are doing OK there lovely

icy and lh let me be a salutory lesson as to why testing early may shit you up. Although it did enable me to have earlier betas and although they also shit me up, by the same token they also prepared me for today's number being low. I keep being told it isn't the number so much as the rate of doubling that counts - but I totally wouldn't have been prepared for such a shit number otherwise

All that said, it turns out my Dr was annoyingly correct when he warned against testing early because 'some women have negatives at 7dp5dt (tick) but then go on to get positives by 10dp5dt (tick)'

I started taking metformin today, as my Dr said I should start it if I got pregnant. He said there was the fertility dose or the miscarriage dose, the latter was likely to have more side effects. I obvs demanded the miscarriage dose. I am now feeling suitably pukey, although I can pretend that's an early pregnancy symptom when of course it's just the met

And bip good luck for everything this week! Xx

Robber. Sounds promising

Def not worth doing a test before testing day as just upsets you if negative and in some cases like me and banana the actual day proved positive

Bip. Is interview tomorrow or wed?

Had 12w scan. All looking good - miracles do happen. Eventually. Hope does for you all on here as well

Scan & Panorama test today. Embryo still alive, right size, with appropriate heartbeat.

Sonographer was immensely irritating. Upon reading my obstetric history she made the sort of exaggerated sadface you might expect to see on a creepy clown and then chirpily told me 'oh well, you've had your bad luck now! It'll be all good luck from here!' As a veteran of multiple bad-news scans, that seemed a pretty fucking glib thing to say before she'd even had a glimpse of my uterus. Got the little wand thing on me and gigglingly directed my attention to 'baby's little footsie wootsies' before thinking to tell me whether there was a heartbeat and whether things looked roughly normal.

Anyway. Still going for now. Blood test results for multiple kinds of genetic wrongness back in a week or two, provided they don't need to do a redraw. Ugh.

Fingers crossed for tomorrow's tests. Robber how are you doing? Managed not to piss on anything today? Blondes well done on 12 wk scan.

Bip that is tremendous news!! Well done you! I am daring to be 'enthusiastic' (not excited, promise).

Blondes - what a JOY to reach the magical 12 weeks - congratulations!

I will come crying to you after I test early and you can tell me 'I told you so'.

Bloody marvellous news bip!

I realise it's but one milestone but it is a big milestone nonetheless. So, small victories

Even if you did have to endure a fucknugget sonographer whose anatomical understanding of footsie wootsies perhaps leaves a little lacking

Congrats also blondes! Fan bloody tastic news.

robber how goes?!

All the great news!!! I've caught up I think!

Great news bip for now. I know you've no PMA left to give and there will be no point of safety until you're holding your little one and you're both in once piece.

Robber quietly squealing here. Can't wait for tomorrows POAS result.

banana wonderful!!!

Sorry for being MIA. DH is away this week and AF arrived so I've been hiding behind my duvet feeling sorry for myself that I have sole custody of the cats and need to shovel shite (literally) and feed them all twice a day. Can I just feed them some of my toast?!

Still no news from our PGS yet - it has only been a week but feels like a lifetime.

Thanks, peeps. I do feel a good deal less anxious now another hurdle's cleared.

How much longer do you have to wait for the PGS results, Loki - is it 3 more weeks? My cats like toast...

Please someone kick me up the arse - should be preparing for tomorrow's interview but I can't stop obsessively seeking out details of Brangelina divorce.

bip sorry to enable you but have you heard the Marion is pregnant rumours?

Brangelina news best part of my day. I realise I love celeb gossip so much because I love to find out when they're all so fucking miserable behind their apparent amazing lives. Kim Kardashian being exhibit A.

Who is Marion though? Off to Google...

Bip so relieved to see your update. Well done for not punching the sonographer before the scan was complete.
Robber - mini fist pump. Only five hours until otd
Banana - good news from you too!
Icy - um, good news on the morning shit schedule?!?

Yay all my favourite ladies doing OK x

I reckon being married to Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie would be totally miserable.

I have period pains and some pale brown discharge. Ivy, I am getting scared...how are you feeling?