The mind numbing boredom of infertility II

[PotatoesPastaAndBread]

This is a thread for peole who really want to get pregnant but can't, who have tried pretty much everything, and are really fucked off about it.

Have you ever nearly punched someone for advising you to "relax", "go on holiday" or "just get drunk - that's what we did"? Well then this is the thread for you.

You won't find much sentimentality here and there's no baby dust, but there is empathy, a lot of swearing and a surpirsing amount of glittery dog shit.

Link to the original thread
original thread

Totally, completely understandable grumpel - Hotel Chocolat prescribed stat xx

Hi all.
Hope you are all coping well post egg scoffing day..
I'm just at hotel napping before going for some posh nosh later. We went to London Aquarium this afternoon. Abit of a big mistake on a bank holiday as we were surrounded by thousands of kids and their pushy parents. Literally got shoved out the way on a few occasions so their snotty nosed brats could get a better look at the fish defo not jealous in the slightest Plus AF arrived (early) so great timing. Wine for dinner then!

Welcome newbies. Sorry you find yourselves here but good to have you on the journey with us.
bip hoping your trip is going well dispite the situation you are in.
laura hope you and the 2 embies have a safe trip back to the UK. I bet your OH has missed you!

Hello all & happy post-Easter. Just popping in as I recover from the trauma of a mini-family reunion with the Yank side of my family, here in Florida. All my various aunts & uncles & cousins know I miscarried just a few days ago (my mother involved them all in the drama of trying to find me a scan when we thought I was having an ectopic) yet not one person asked me how I was. It's never been so clear to me that people think of pregnancy loss / infertility as a question of dirty lady parts gone wrong in squeamish unmentionable ways. So in the same way you wouldn't ask your sister-in-law at a drinks party how it's going with her stubborn case of bacterial vaginosis, you wouldn't ask your niece how she's doing after the miscarriage she had 3 days ago. Better to spare her the embarrassment of talking about her vagina in public.

Also got cornered by weirdo pervy bigot Texan uncle for ages - he kept sticking his hand down the back of his shorts and wiggling them around while bellowing at me deafly about World War II.

Then there was a lot of chat about this or that cousin's baby shower, when is so-and-so due, oh yes, cousin X is clearly having a boy, she's carrying very high... blah blah blah. At which point I fucked off outside & spent the rest of the evening throwing footballs with a 7-year-old and drinking. Paying for it today with a hangover enhancing my cold nicely. Ugh.

Oh bip that sounds utter shit (apart from the getting drunk part) people can be utter gits

Grump & Fractious absolutely relate to wanting someone you know to have this experience - not out of vindictiveness, but to have someone to talk to about it IRL - and to feel like it's part of the normal range of life's disappointments, rather than a shameful gynaecological niche (as it were).

Thanks, Karla. Actually feeling more or less OK. Great thing about holidays is you can pretend the rest of your life isn't happening. Meh I was thinking about how you got back from holiday and found it all waiting to bite you in the arse upon your return - suspect I've got something similar to look forward to. If I didn't have my lovely cats waiting for me back home I might just stay on holiday forever.

I kid you not, my local radio station is doing a feature called 'things you will only ever say if you have kids' aghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! Xx

Hello all. So a mildly successful Easter. Me, DH, my parents, his parents all in one house for three days and no major incidents. Babywise we merely had one cousin give birth and one cousin announce a pregnancy so fairly par for the course.

Glad to be back to work though.

bip I think a lot of people think a miscarriage is something you do in an afternoon. I have to say, until my friend had one and I read up on it, I didn't know any different. I guess the difference is, when my friend had a miscarriage I read up on it! So I could give appropriate support and not act like a dick head.

Hello newbies, nice to see the thread growing!

Sammy dispose of your radio immediately.
Laura hope you have an event free return home. Good job you missed all the storm related flight diversions!

Totally relate to all those wishing others understood although not specifically wishing pain on others. And also the up and down bit. I feel able to contemplate another cycle now but directly after the scan I wondered how anyone ever picked themselves up and I thought I'd never try again.

Today is the first day of clean living ahead of my next cycle. Hahaha. I've managed that for one meal so far. Let's see how long it lasts!

Tried to catch up (again) Seems we have all had a "fuck it" kind of attitude this bank holiday. Sorry to see some people are feeling a bit crappy and fed up (more than usual)
I couldn't sleep last night as I'd eaten that much chocolate and sweets! paying for it today in work.
icy I've done lean in 15, fell off the band wagon after my lap and dye but still eat the meals from it, but just have dessert with them now. Glad you managed a boozy shag this bank holiday.
What with all the baby bombs? Do we just pay more attention to people's announcements or is everyone getting preggo!! I am scared that I am due one soon!
bip sorry your family offered no support at all, your Uncle sounded interesting to say the least. Love how you handle it though.
laura you are PUPO!! You get back safe and sound? Hope you haven't had to return to work straight away.
karla your day in London got off to a great start until you got bullied by a bunch of kids and mothers
banana I've missed your vitamin knowledge from the other thread. Wish I'd of started the Coq10 sooner, my bottle doesn't state what type they are either.
potatoes GL with the clean living. Hope you have no Easter chocolate left over to tempt you! Glad you're feeling ready for another go. Would you change clinics?
meh how is you? Have you and DH discussed a new clinic too?
grumpels and fractious I was given a counsoling leaflet in our IVF info pack. I was glad to see the list of emotions that come with all this. What we are feeling is totally normal and expected. Don't feel bad, we aren't the first or last to feel this way.

Hi to all of you. Enjoy this short week

Grumpelstiltskin, it really is hard when it's family. It's not like I can completely shun them. My SIL and her DP do live around 4 hours away from us, so at least it's not like we can just pop round to see them.

However, we're going to have to visit them one weekend next month to meet the new baby of course. I'm really finding it difficult, they keep sending us pictures of their newborn who is absolutely adorable and I keep thinking i don't know if I'm going to ever have this. Not helped by the inlaws saying they can't wait for more grandchildren while pointedly looking at me... SIL and DP have already told us to get on with it so the baby can have a cousin to play with... Yup I really wish I could oblige.

I seem to have become very good at crying silently in bathrooms these past 18 months or so. Anyway, I have a day off today and I'm going to try and use it productively if I can. I need to get a game plan together and work out where we go from here.

Have a lovely Tuesday all.

Hope you had a glittery-dog-shit long weekends ladies.

Bip bloody bloodies. Americans (and particularly the states of Florida and Texas) are incredibly socially conservative, so just will not talk about lady things, dirty or otherwise. When I lived in New York, I was a member of the AMC hiking club (yes I'm a big outdoorsy dork) and went hiking every weekend with a load of retirees. Rather than stopping for a pee break, the women had to ask for "a separation". I shit you not. A troupe of khaki-wearing make-up-free outdoorsy women had to hide their need to pee with a stupid unrelated term. So bizarre.

Re: getting men on board with supplements, my trainer said to my husband that taking zinc every day would give him a rod of iron that he could hang a towel off every morning. My husband starting taking the zinc tablets, and still does.

Sorry for all the baby bombs being suffered by everyone. It sucks.

Bit late to the COQ10 talk but Tesco is doing a 3 for 2 deal on them (100mg) so you get 90 for £10 which is a lot cheaper than H&B and Boots (in fact about 1/3 of the price or less - I think H&B is often a bit of a rip off and Boots sometimes even worse, it really pays to shop around for vitamins, they really vary in price just like branded painkillers/non branded ones)

Sitting in waiting room waiting for a a blood test, just had a dildo scan. New machine, the dildo was way thinner & less offensive than the other clinics.

Just noticed the waiting room has a box of toys so obvs young kids welcome. Grrr.

Oh well that ended in tears. I had a dodgy smear test so got a round 2 test on Thursday. Have just been told that our IVF will be delayed until "next month", having previously had it all glossed over by the nurses. Afraid to say I absolutely lost it and just ended up weeping about everything. Nurse wasn't that sympathetic really "the doctor will only say the same" said "sohh-ree" in a sort of sing song voice and asked if I wanted to see a counsellor. I said I'd love to but I why be able to find the time to given it was hard enough to get out of work today (boss on holiday). Held it together til the car, wept a bit more, this time with gusto and now sat in the bath. I just wasn't expecting this so now I'm upset, my OH travels a load abroad with work but had managed to get a 4 week window of being at home (passport renewal) and now that's all out the window, I'll have to wait until next cycle (32..35..37 days?) and just protract the dread and anticipation of it all. Just really upset by it all now. Stop start bullshit. I know my smear was dodge because OH and I had sex the night before and that can cause it. The woman at the time said how healthy my cervix looked!!!! Frustrated and I've been holding it together for months now. Months.

God just worked out of we don't hit IVF this cycle then egg collection will be mid June. FUCK!!!

icy you sound utterly fed up and I don't blame you. All this constant roller coaster of hell never seems to end. Sounds like everything is all up in the air for you just when you were about to start treatment. What bollocks.
Sorry you are feeling so down, hope your OH is able to console you and I am sure the others barrenstastics will be along soon with words of wisdom and support but rant away here all you need.

Oh Icy. I totally know how you feel. Many a time have I been reduced to tears by waiting times. The worst being because the clinic were really busy.

I've just seen this on fbook. Sums it up perfectly, but I'm not brave enough to share it in real life invade any one puts two and two together and asks me. Xx

Attachment fail. Take 2.

Icy that's so fucking shit. You plan everything and get mentally prepared and after months and months of waiting something like this happens. I'm so sorry. Can they get your results super quick on Thursday and still have a chance at getting started this month? I didn't know spunk could compromise smear test results - you'd think they might warn people, partic if they need those smear tests to be normal before they treat you. FFS. It sometimes feels like this whole process is booby trapped - constant pitfalls and trap doors and little things to set you back and trip you up.

Sammy How're you doing? Love the FB post. One of the many reasons I eventually quit FB was a friend whose annoying sister constantly hijacked her FB account and posted 'I'm so excited I'm going to be a mum!' statuses on her account as a 'joke'. Hilarious.

Pumpingiron I was sniggering to myself this morning when I overheard a couple of vacationing pensioners complaining that they'd forgotten to bring their zinc tablets on holiday - was wondering if they'd also been told it would give them rods of iron they could hang their towels from. Or maybe they were ttc. Would be nice to feel I'm not the oldest person out there still flogging this dead horse.

Oh icy I'm so sorry to hear that. That is really fucking shit. Time ticking away while the rest of the world merrily gets on with life is bad at the best of times but missing a slot and counting the months until you can get have treatment is fucking awful. You usually sound (positively) angry but you sound so devastated, I feel for you. Want to come and troll the "things you only say if you aren't a parent thread" with me?

Delurking to rage in sympathy with you Icy (was on the previous thread). I remember throwing a massive screaming tantrum and ripping up a letter from my gynae when they wrote to tell me they'd lost my referral paperwork. Arsepipes

Potatoes I fucking hate that thread. One of the most patronising things I've ever seen but I couldn't stop myself reading it, I think I must be some sort of masochist.

Evening all,

Icy so sorry to hear they made you cry, those stupid fuckwits. June is ages away and when you have random cycles it just makes everything questionable.

I had a very hairy landing yesterday, shitting myself that the wing had suddenly flung up - I genuinely thought the plane would just tip over! Home safe and sound, asleep by 9.45pm!

Back in bed again now, have been straight back to work which was good, when I'm at work I have zero time to even think about anything else!

Glad we all made use of stuffing ourselves with as much chocolate as we could over the break!

Oh icy that's just shite I am fuming for you over here! The worst thing is counting cycle dates and rearranging our lives around fucking appointments! Can you speak to the Dr? Hope the nurse could be wrong.
I know these won't help much x
laura glad you're back on solid ground.

Icy that's so rubbish. It really doesn't sound like the nurse handled it well. June seems ages away - as Pebbles said, can you speak to a dr? From my experiences nurses aren't always right. At my baseline scan back in September the nurse told me I had a strange looking solid mass on my ovary (which didn't go down well as I have a family history of ovarian cancer), something in my uterus that shouldn't be there and that my uterus was also tilting the wrong way. Naturally, I had a complete melt down at the clinic and then had to spend the next 4 weeks in shreds waiting for an advanced scan with doctors. They then told me everything was perfectly fine - the suspicious looking 'solid mass' was just the corpus luteum. It set us back a month though and then xmas got in the way which was really frustrating. I definitely think the seemingly endless amount of waiting is one of the worst things about the process.

Speaking of waiting - pebbles, grumble OTD is on Sunday. Seems like forever, I already feel sick with nerves!