Ladies thank you so so so very much for your beautiful messages of support, I am truly touched
(and LH of course I remember you!)
My Dr got me booked in as an emergency day case, so we found out at 10am, I was in theatre for an ERPC by 6pm and home by 10pm. So I was very very glad to have been able to get things sorted so quickly.
He was absolutely bereft and said it was the saddest part of his job. He stayed late to do my op, and got his anaesthetist in specially for the procedure, which I appreciated. He shared that his wife had had an ERPC when they had a miscarriage, which I was really touched he shared, as he wasn’t just showing sympathy as a kindly Dr, but could be truly empathetic having been on the other side of the fence.
Physically I am absolutely fine. Emotionally, obviously DH and I are devastated.
I personally find the best way for me to deal with things is to look ahead, so I am already thinking about next steps.
We're having the tissue testing done on the ‘products of conception’ to see if that will give us any answers: we will find out results and next steps in a few weeks when I see consultant for follow up
Hopefully it will show whether it was the seed (embryo), or if not then it was presumably the soil (me)
Unfortunately although having seen a heartbeat at 9 weeks, you think you are on the home stretch, but sadly that is simply not the case. I know far, far, far too many people who have suffered MMC who have lost their babies at around the same time. It is about this time that the placenta takes over, so it’s a bit of a make or break time. Although our beautiful 4AA blastocyst looked morphologically perfect, that doesn’t tell you anything about its chromosomal integrity. 70% of miscarriages happen because the embryo simply didn’t have the right genetic makeup to be able to become a person.
However, whether this embryo was OK or not, we don’t know which of the 4 frosties are duds and which are go-ers, which means potentially 4 failed FETs or miscarriages
I am not willing to play Russian Roulette with these embryos, to be brutally honest. We could hit the jackpot with the next frostie - or we might not
So regardless of the outcome of the tissue testing, I am minded to see about doing another fresh cycle, and if we are lucky enough to get a decent number of blasts like last time, to do PGS so that we can be sure of only putting back a chromosomally normal embryo. And keep the 4 frosties on the subs bench
If the embryo WAS chromosomally normal, then the issue was the soil (my body) and not the seed. So will discuss doing a lap or hysto to check out the uterine environment before we put anything else back. Although it's pretty unlikely to be something uterine, as we didn't have any issues with implantation - I got pregnant on my first transfer. I just didn't stay pregnant. So the issue doesn't seem to be with inability to implant.
We had talked last time about immunes treatment anyway. My Dr doesn’t find the Chicago tests reliable (as NK cells in your blood don’t necessarily tell you what’s going on in the uterus) and prefers to treat empirically for failed implantation or miscarriage. So I think we will almost certainly add in an immunes protocol next time (prednisolone, intralipids, clexane, aspirin, gestone) for a belt and braces approach.
My thyroid function was tested and was perfect, although we will definitely recheck it, as we don’t really want to leave any stone unturned.
But for now, I’m in the ‘PJs and pizza and chocolate and crying stage’