Would you be my Infertility/Clomid/Follicle tracking friend please?!

[scienceteachergeek]

Hi there ladies

I’m really looking for a ‘clomid friend’ or ‘infertility pal’!

I’m 30, DH is 38. I came off the pill July 2013 to regulate my cycles and ended 15yrs of antidepressants in March 2014 as I’d read that was the best plan if possible.

I’d been having regular 27/30day cycles since I came off the pill but after no positive tests, buying OPKs and the Clearblue Advanced Fertility Monitor, plus charting temps and monitoring my cervix and mucus it quickly became apparent that I wasn’t ovulating. After all the blood tests, sperm analysis, trans-vaginal scans and the HSG it showed that he was fine but I wasn’t ovulating, but there was not obvious reason why.

Fast forward to now, 2yrs since coming off the pill, I have been prescribed clomid and have taken my first 5 tablets. I’m day 12 today and have been having follicle tracking to check if the drugs have worked. My largest follicle was 16.4mm today and have to go back on Wednesday to check it again.

Do any of you know if that’s a good size? Or have any experiences of being further down the clomid path? Or are you in a similar position? I just feel like I’m going out of my mind and could really use a buddy!

Thanks for reading and hugs to you all. Interested in hearing from any of you xxx

Hi ladies

Just to say I’ve popped into this thread to check how you’re all doing and OMFG science what incredible news!

BTW bleaching your hair is absolutely fine during pregnancy - my friend is the beauty editor of the Guardian and I asked her about dying my hair during my IVF cycle (see below) and she said it’s a complete myth that you can’t dye your hair while pregnant. And in fact that bleach is safer than normal hair dye as it doesn’t have any ammonia or PPD!

AFM, after my blood results coming back as utterly catastrophic a couple of months ago in my first Clomid cycle, saying that I’m in peri menopause and my chances of conceiving are slim to bugger all, I’m currently 8 days into my first IVF cycle. It’s all gone like a whirlwind from taking Clomid in July to now injecting myself and having hot dates with dildocam eod instead of trying to DTD eod, but so far the follicle scans are more promising than the bloods indicated.

I had to —cry— laugh when I read the comments about seeing the YouTube videos of a woman showing her DP a +ve pregnancy test to tell him he was going to be a dad. I work in marketing and was working on a project for Dove Men in July/Aug…on the follow up to their ‘Father’s Day’ YouTube hit…which was a compilation of YouTube clips of women telling their partners they were pregnant!!! I’m now working on a sodding startup for new baby photos, while I’m currently looking 4 months pregnant as I’m so bloated from the stimulation drugs. Nature / fate / the universe is certainly having a laugh at my expense…!

xxx

Hi vap0 sorry been in Cornwall for a break. Back to reality!

Af due tomorrow bfn today and yesterday - just so deflated. Now feel like I have lost all hope of ever getting that bfp.

Hi everyone

Quick message as I'm on my phone.

Hello Badleg! Welcome to the gang .

Science - Happy (belated) Anniversary! Did you have a nice day?

Bananafish - welcome back. How are you doing? How are you finding IVF. Gosh - I've got everything crossed for you. That's AWFUL about your job though. How painful. It really does feel like everyone else's fertility is being thrust upon is right now .

Birchy - I know exactly how you feel. We've tried so hard every month, so I just feel like if it was going to happen it should have happened by now . I just don't know what else to do. I'm beyond exhausted by this whole thing and it's started to affect every other aspect of my life. I really hope you feel better soon. Do you know what your next steps are?

I'm CD1. AF came today, except there's no flo...just a small pool of blood. This has happened quite a few months now. I also have THE WORST cramps and have had to sit in meetings for over 12 hours today. Urghhhhh.

Hi all

Sounds like we are all at a similar point at the min, ranging from nearly cd1 -cd3.
So we will all be dtd at the same time and also testing at the same time!
banana that sounds totally unbareable at work. How crap! It's just rubbing your nose in it!
birch sorry about your bfn! How was Cornwall? Have you had a nice time?
badleg sounds very expensive depending on how many appointments you would need! So how many appointments would you have needed with initial consultation, getting pills and any scans? P.s. I've already had scans to check insides and all are "fine" so would only be scans to check follicles or whatever they do? Yet, the IVF sounds very cheap! Do you have a link to their website?

Also flat sorry about af!
Hopefully October will be all of our lucky month!

Morning!
I was just reading up about this bbt charting and everywhere on these sites people say they are using it to determine the sex of the baby. Apparently one person swears blind that eating tomatoes or acidic food just before dtd you'll have a girl or eating a more alkaline food will mean having a boy! Ha! What a load of tosh! Thought I'd share the ridiculousness of it all as it made me snigger!

I also thought we are all pretty much similar regarding our cycle dates.

With regards to giving up - I did. I had enough of then roller coaster of depression when period came to checking for ovulation to going through the motions of dtd and then 2 weeks of symptom spotting getting hopes up to be dashed again. It done me in. So I thought enough was enough. But in back of my mind it's always there and now after a break I am in a better place-not saying I won't go back there mind you! But I am coping better rather than loosing the plot. It has helped to talk to a few people in real life and then I have realised just how common it is! I just believe our happy endings are there we just have to wait and try harder for ours for some reason.

Vap0 -

www.bmihealthcare.co.uk/hospital/description?p_hosp_name=BMI%20Chelsfield%20Park%20Hospital&p_hosp_id=241&p_hospital_page_id=7166&in_page=Fertility&p_parent_page_id=null

Hopefully that link will work?

Thanks ladies

Badleg that sounds reasonable for the actual IVF cycle (as in it's still blood expensive, but doesn't sound too far out from the 'norm'), it's not too dissimilar to the cost I'm paying (whack on a bit for central London prices) but that's probably excluding not including quite a few bits which will bring the cost up. For example, on top of the actual cycle costs (scans, collection, embryo fertilisation,culture and transfer) the following cost extra: blood tests, blastocyst culture, ICSI, embryo storage, and most importantly - medications. I've paid £2k for 10 days worth of meds - although I'm on a particularly high dose of stims, so I'm most def at the upper end. So the moral of IVF is to always always get a full breakdown of what is and isn't included.

Vap laughing so hard here - that's hilarious! Here was I thinking temping might help me get up the duff by identifying fertile days (and confirming O when my CBFM does the rest!) , when it turns out I could have been deciding the sex of my future hoped for child!!!

Flat I'm OK thanks. Rollercoaster isn't even the half of it though! I can barely process that we're actually doing IVF. I'm on short protocol which means I started injecting last Tuesday, and pending tomorrow's scan, egg collection is likely to be on Monday - ie CD14. Short protocol is def short! I can't even let myself think that this could conceivably (haha) work as it feels my chances are so slim. There was a very real worry that with my catastrophically bad FSH and AMH that I wouldn't respond to the stimulation drugs at all and the cycle would have to be cancelled. Thankfully that seems not to be the case. The no of follicles I have would be crap for someone else my age, but for someone with as diminished reserves as it turns out I have, 4-6 follies is nothing short of a miracle. I really really hope the quality is decent and we end up being able to make it to transfer and I get to the stage of being PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise). Only then will I start to dare to hope that there might be a BFP at the end of this. My journey is very much NOT representative however. Most people don't find out they have gone from being PCOS at 28 to being in peri menopause at 33. So my odds are very much not indicative of anyone else's. So. We shall see..

It's crazy the "hidden" costs I had thought that price would be too good to be true. But why lull people into thinking the cost isn't actually too awful to then taking it way beyond "reasonable"!

Good luck Bananafish. Is this your first round of IVF?

I am on round 2 of clomid and have another 4 cycles to go which takes me to my birthday and being 38. And gives me time to save money and loose weight if I need to go down the IVF route.

Today is an angry day for me! Ha ha. I have learnt to rant at my lovely colleague who listens and let's me sound off first before going all out and probably loosing my job!

So today, aged 30 and 8 months, I burst into tears in the doctors' surgery. Actual real life tears. In front of everybody.

World please swallow me until now.

Oh no flat sending hugs
Were you in the waiting room of with the dr?
Of all places to cry you probably did it in the best place, I don't think it's the kind of place where people judge, in fact everyone who saw probably just hoped you were ok.

Hope you're feeling better now.

banana hope all goes well with your scan, best of luck, bet you can't wait to be PUPO.

badleg has your colleague been telling others what you say? Argh! I lost a job once because I'd told a "friend" I had been for an interview somewhere else. About to have a look at your website link now. Thanks

Badleg I agree. I understand that the extras vary so much from person to person, so a single cost isn't going to be possible - but at least say clearly what ISN'T included in the cost, not just what is! One of the big London clinics is renowned for doing daily blood tests whilst stimming and running a battery of investigations before starting a cycle. The cost for a cycle is advertised at around £4k, yet the actual cost is more like £12k!

And yes it is my first IVF cycle.

Flatwhite massive hugs, I would guarantee you that you won't have been the first, and won't be the last, person to burst into tears at the doctor's - doesn't make it any easier, I realise. Hope you're feeling a bit less raw x

Vap Banana - thank you for being so sweet. I feel like a total numpty, but I know it's happened because I am just completely exhausted from work pressure, financial pressure (DH is about to get a massive pay cut just as we have bought a new house) and this whole TTC thing. It was in the waiting room . Basically, I am registered in the city where I work which is two hours away from where I currently live. The only surgery that will let me register back home is a one-man-band surgery that's open something ridiculous like 3 half days a week! In any event, I need to be at a surgery near where I work because otherwise I'd have to take a day of annual leave every time I have an appointment...and I need to give a few weeks' notice to get annual leave, and you can't get appointments that far in advance! Anyway, a few months ago I changed my address at the surgery to my (out-of-catchment) address. This was accepted at the time but they told me I couldn't get a call out. Anyway, since then the Dr has made a referral to the Fertility Clinic. I was a bit concerned that I had heard anything for weeks, so thought I'd double check the address on their system. It turns out they'd still got the old address, so my referral will have been sent to the old place (which I can't get access to). I then tried to update my address again, but this time they told me that I'd have to leave the practice as I was so far out of the catchment area. I was trying to explain why I can't register where I live, but they weren't accepting it, then I just erupted into tears . It sounds silly, but it was all too much. The stress of finally getting a referral and it going to the wrong place, then basically being put in a position where I can't even get access to a Dr.....arghhhhhh. Anyway, after that they were so so so lovely and were calling around/googling trying to find somewhere that would take me. As nowhere would take me, they then agreed that I could stay where I am. I haven't been so grateful in a very long time! I nearly hugged one of the receptionists .

Anyway...had my day 1-5 blood test yesterday. I got my results back for the progesterone and it looks like I have low progesterone (25 when it needs to be at least 30 to sustain a pregnancy). Do any of you know anything about this? Have any of you been treated for low progesterone?

And here endeth my massively self-absorbed post.... .

Banana - Have you had the scan yet? How did it go? I can imagine just how terrified you are. I know it doesn't count for anything or help in any practical way, but I've got everything crossed for you. What does 'pregnant until proven otherwise' mean? I am so clueless about IVF and what it entails. How have you found the medications and injecting yourself and all of that?

Badleg - That's good that you have someone to vent to. I agree with Vap though: be careful because "friends" and especially "work friends" can screw you over or simply be a bit loose-lipped. I've had it done to me a few times. Nothing terrible or career-ending, but things which should not have been made public (that makes it sound more interesting than it was! I simply complained a bit about a certain person I worked for, then a certain "friend" told people knowing full well that those people would mention it to my boss!). I also have a nurse friend who had a Facebook status saying something completely inoffensive like "Absolutely shattered. Been at work 12 hours so far and the world and his neighbour have come into hospital. Looks like it'll be a busy night!". She was then dragged into some sort of disciplinary meeting because it made the hospital look bad! What upset her was that she had private settings so it must have been one of her Facebook friends and she said she was only Facebook friends with people she was ACTUALLY friends with!

Oh Flat that sounds completely awful.

On the up side...the day 1-5 bloods aren't looking for progesterone. They look for LH and FSH. You're right about the progesterone level needing to be over 30, but that's to prove if you've ovulated or not. The day 1-5 definitely 100% isn't testing your progesterone. The day 21 bloods check for that.

Hoping you're all ok xxx

Thanks Science. Sorry about the HUGE moan. From what I've read on Google it looks as though there are things I can be given for the low progesterone, but it's a battle to get it and they sometimes wait for you to get pregnant and see if you miscarry. Urrrrghhhh. Hopefully that's just Internet bullsh*t and scare-mongering.

How is everyone else doing?x x x

Hi ladies.

Hugs to you all and welcome to the new uns.

flat I am so sorry to hear of your doctors ordeal. I am an emotional wreck at the moment and can 100% guarantee that I would have reacted in the exact same way.

cd18 here and about 80-90% positive OPKs however no feeling or ovulation cramping on my second no clomid cycle. Got in a huge tizz over skipping two cycles/three months and can't believe things are taking as long as they are- after getting 6 cycles worth of clomid in January I now have only completed 2 cycles due to my crazy long cycles....

I am back "home" away from England now so back with DH and DTD twice daily anyway just in case these past two days but really i feel my f---ing ovaries are fast asleep and nothing is happening in there so not holding much hope.....

Try not to worry. I thought my ovaries hadn't worked either last month. These ovulation sticks aren't always 100% accurate. At least by having breaks the chances of your lining being too thin is lower. Repeated use can cause that

Good news is coming, I can smell it!

badleg after a few days of temping now (and a lot of reading about it) you're right your thermometer isn't sensitive enough, you need one to 2 decimal places. They are really cheap online (about £4-£5). Not sure if you'd be fussed about getting another but I'm quite enjoying using mine. Although the story may be different next week when I'm away for 3 nights, I'm sure I'll forget to do it just when I wake up.

banana so you have egg collection tomorrow do you? How have the injections been? Have your hormones been all over the place? I'll be interested to hear how much one whole cycle costs for you once all of the bills are in. It's so hard trying to understand these websites for costs. Although from people on here who have broken them down in the past £7k seems to be the norm. Not sure where they are in the country? And in sure you're right that London will certainly add to the cost.

flat sorry your Drs are trying to kick you out! I've had that before too and it's crazy that they don't seem to care unless you make a scene! P.s. About the low progesterone from what I've read in a report they will only give it to you after your 2nd or most often 3rd mc. There was a very good article about it which I'll try to find. I'm equally as worried as you are about this as I've never had any blood tests done at the right time as everything was so erratic 18 months or so ago when they were done and so couldn't calculate anything properly. I don't know if I can go through another mc or even 2 for them to take me seriously! I still have my positive frer in my bedsite drawer and have a peek every so often! I can't believe how wonderful that week of being pregnant was. Best week of my life ever!

newleaf sorry when I thought we were all at a similar stage I must have missed your dates! That's fantastic news about 80-90% positive opk's without any clomid! Have you tested again today? Sounds like you have a good chance this month with the pretty positive opk and also dtd lots! Everything crossed for you!

Not much going on here apart from temping daily and opk daily (just in case) we went for a lovely forest walk yesterday and it was so fresh, I do love autumn! Pleased nothing is happening until fertile window starts on Friday as I'm away most of the week so would be totally stressed out by everything if ov was sooner! One strange thing though which I haven't had before and it's making me worry I'm still not back to normal. I've been spotting quite a bit (brown) but it's 5 days after af ended. Not had spotting after af since everything was totally up the pole and not ovulating. Sigh. Hoping for the best! If nothing happens this month I'll be back onto the fertility clinic to get that January appointment booked. I'm in 2 minds whether to tell them about my mc as if I do I'm sure they will just use it as a reason to send me away again for another 9 months or more!
So, I collected my niece from pre school on Friday and I was in my element! I just can't wait to have one of those myself. I'm almost thinking maybe I should not go back to the clinic as I'm pretty sure they'll be as unhelpful as ever and send me away again as that would mean we could be further down the line to a year out of the system for adoption? I just don't know what to do, I'm so desperate to have a child!

Flat
www.myinformedlife.co.uk/does-supplemental-progesterone-prevent-early-miscarriage/

Oh For Fucks Sake! Family friend just announced new baby due next year!

Awww no Vap! I'm so sorry. That really sucks .

I've had three friends give birth in the past four days. Facebook is unbearable.

Vap - I don't know whether you should mention it or not. I probably would as, if it happens again (which I pray it doesn't), it may be helpful to have the previous mc 'on the record'. I completely understand the concern though, especially as you have been mucked around so much along the way.

Thank you for sharing the link. From the google research I have done, it looks as though my progesterone levels would need to rise for me to be able to sustain a pregnancy. I don't know how much it affects the ability to get pregnant in the first place. I'm looking into things I can do to raise my progesterone levels naturally, so am going to make a real effort to try and bring down my stress levels and eat healthily.

Vap - you saying that the week you were pregnant was the best week of your life has broken my hard . I am so sorry this has happened to you. It is so unbelievably unfair after everything you went through to get to that point. I am not a very huggy person in real life, but I am sending a hug (so treasure it - I don't give those out often !).

NewLeaf - I'm sorry you're feeling down as well. Are you feeling any better today or still pretty rubbish? Hopefully now you're back in the sunny place and will see DH more you'll start to feel a bit better. It must be so frustrating having such long cycles .

Flat am I missing something? Your progesterone level was rather high not low, if it was a day 1-5 test. It was only a little low if it was a day 21 and could easily have been due to earlier ovulation. It's usually FSH and LH levels they're interested in for day 1-5 test.

So desperate for you all to have good news xxx

Hi Science - sorry, I maybe didn't make it clear. I had my day 1-5 tests the other day and on the same day that I had those tests I picked up the results for my day 21 tests which I had had just over a week beforehand. It was from these tests (the day 21) that my progesterone was deemed low .

How are you getting on? Any symptoms yet? Have you told your family or are you waiting for 12 weeks?x

Aaaaah, that makes total sense now Flat. I'm sure there's something they can do. Still can't believe you've got to this point without them doing any bloods!

I'm getting on ok thanks. Not really had much in the way of symptoms, which of course I'm finding incredibly worrying. I've had symptoms but none of the major ones...no sickness or bigger/sore boobs. Just not really sleeping, had some pretty mediocre heartburn and had one day where I had to wee a dozen times but I want something more substantial! I know that sounds ridiculous but I'm just worried. So so worried.

Got the first midwife on Tuesday for an HOUR! God knows what she'll say to us for that long but we'll see. Having a private scan on Thursday just to hopefully put my mind at rest as there should be a visible heartbeat by then.

Husband is hating his new job and is really depressed about it all, he just thinks he's no good at it. It's really bringing our mood down. I've told him tonight, before his night shift started, that if his mood doesn't pick up I'm dragging him to the docs.

I've told my best mate, the Slimming World woman and my personal trainer, all because I had to. DH doesn't want me to tell anyone else. It's just SO difficult to keep secret when you used to live off Diet Coke/Pepsi Max and you're bringing decaf teabags to peoples homes and work!

flat thanks for the hug! I'll treasure it . So how can you raise your progesterone naturally? Is it certain foods? Maybe I should try the same.

That FB status - you won't believe this - someone had gone on her FB account and fraped. How is that even funny? What a load of dicks her friends must be. And she had 300+ likes and about 150 comments so since then she has still been receiving likes and comments so has had 3 status updates saying it isn't true but the likes have continued coming, after all with that much activity it stays at the top of people's news feeds.

science good luck with your scan and appointment . I also used to be a diet coke addict consuming between 6-12 cans per day, I was known for it by everyone I know and always had a box on the passenger seat of my car, but stopped a few weeks ago (decided not to have it again until we are lucky) and nobody has noticed. switched to water and nobody has said anything. Maybe just switch to water so you don't have weird tea bags making people gossip? Nobody questions water. Have you had headaches giving it up? I had a headache for about 3 weeks solid! Kind of scared to drink it again now considering how dependant I had become.

Any news from anyone else?