Welcome back, OP Lucie! Thank you so much for setting up the thread - it's been a lifeline.
"I had been feeling quite excited but now it's nearly here I'm feeling quite nervous and also sad in a way that we never made it by ourselves. Is this normal?"
Oh my word - totally this. I cried like mad after we finally committed to doing IVF. I wanted to be a parent, not a patient! However as the cycle wore on that feeling went away a bit. Not entirely: there's still part of me regrets that we have to go through this in order to do what some people manage after a random shag. I don't think it's abnormal at all to feel frustrated, resentful, sad or regretful!
Hugs for makingdoo - the waiting is the worst part, I'm sure. After weeks of having medications and scan dates and procedures to focus our energies on it must feel so unnerving to just watch and wait. I feel twitchy enough being on hiatus and I know exactly where my embies are, and at what temperature!
Do you have a good and trusted friend you'd feel happy talking to? Or does your clinic offer counselling? I've found having a counsellor to talk to really helpful. They can't give you answers but they can help you cope with abiding in this horrible uncertainty. And you can always vent here!
I know this is going to sound trite but whatever happens, you're in no way disappointing your husband (yes, I'm a total hypocrite because I feel the same way sometimes...) You've done absolutely all you can, and put your body through so much, to give you both the best shot possible of conceiving your child. I hope that, if you asked him, far from being disappointed he'd tell you that he's proud of you for being strong enough to go put body through all this for both of you. After all - he's only had to have a couple of wanks, right?
I hope you can find good and comforting distractions until you know either way. Can you find something to do that makes you feel cared for? The waiting sucks. Be kind to yourself xxx