The All Things Donor Conception Thread

[foxinorangesocks]

Thought I'd start an ongoing thread for all mnetters that are having, thinking about having or have had treatment using donor eggs or sperm or who are considering/have been a donor. Come and talk about all stages of using or being a donor, from exploring the idea of donor conception and pursuing treatment (or not) to parenting donor conceived children or being a donor- all in a supportive and encouraging space. Whilst I say All Things - this is NOT meant to be a thread for expressing concerns over the ethics/morals of donor conception in negative/forceful/hurtful ways. Please start a thread elsewhere for this.

Hello, have just seen this thread and thought I'd join in if thats ok? I'm 36 and single, have always wanted to be a mother, but haven't been lucky enough to meet the right guy. So I decided that I couldn't wait any longer, and started to investigate treatment. Had all of the tests, to find that my AMH was only 4 - time was not on my side.

Choosing a sperm donor was weird. And kind of fun. I had quite difficult limitations - I really wanted a Jewish donor, and am CMV positive. The pool was small, but I was so lucky to find a perfect fit at Fairfax in the US.

First round of assisted IUI didn't work, which I wasn't at all surprised by. I'm happy to say that round 2 was successful and today I am 11 weeks and 2 days pregnant! I'm so so happy and excited. Luckily I have a very close relationship with my parents, who are so supportive and excited too. Really looking forward to my 12 week scan next week so that I can tell my friends and other family.

I'm really lucky to have made a new friend who has done exactly the same as me and has a beautiful 6 month old daughter. She's been an amazing support and our friendship is growing.

For anyone in my position, all I can say is go for it. My life is already changed, and I can't wait for the moment I become a Mummy.

Camsie xx

Camsie30, 36 must be a magic number as i turned 36 on thursday and this was also the day of my egg donor collection, as my AMH was less than 0. something and went up to 2 with the help of some DHEA but my FSH has been going up over the last year, which in turn affected my whole ovarian reserve and my consultant recommended not using my eggs because of this, as when i have my follicle count that is also low, he said my best chance was with donor eggs, my womb is perfect but tilted which isn't a problem, i too haven't found the right man yet, so i am using donor sperm too, i will be having implantation either tomorrow or tuesday depending what has happened to my 4 little ones over night, i'm so excited but so nervous too!! i have a very supportive best friend that has been to every appointment with me, she has been very patient and very caring but we have known each over for 16 years and are very close, a sister i have never had, i only have brother's, none of my family know apart from one brother that i am close too, won't be telling my parents until 12 weeks as on discussion with my brother we don't know how they will react, i will be the first to give them a grandchild (fingers crossed), how did you talk to your parents about it?? if you don't mind me asking??

update!!
all 4 are still there and doing exactly what they are supposed to be doing!!

Hi Sideshow, of course I don't mind, ask away! I'm an only child and am very close to my parents. The fact is that I need them now more than ever to help look after the baby, I have a very demanding job.
I sat down with them and explained how I was feeling and that I was thinking if having the tests done to see what my situation was. At first they were pretty against the idea, and just thought I should take dating more seriously.
Once I had my results I took about 6 months to really think it over.
This is the biggest decision I have ever made and I weighed it up for ages. I'm a very spontaneous person so had to check myself!
Once I had decided I sat them down again and we had a long, emotional and very honest conversation. They had obviously been talking about it together and just said that they wanted me to be happy, and whilst it wasn't what they'd dreamt for me, they didn't want me to miss out on being a mother.
Now that I'm pregnant they are so excited, my Mum will be my birth partner and my Dad can't wait to tell his friends!
I feel very blessed

ahh thats all great news Camsie30, i am close to my dad but my mum is very hospital phobic and i am not close to her as i'm the only girl, i have 3 brother's used to have 4 and that is some of my mum's problem, my mum is very set in her ways, eveything is very black and white with her and nothing in between!! my dad is a bit more wise to the growing of society, he is even talking about doing a computer course so he can keep up!!
i am hoping that they will be happy for me as i would like them to babysit so i can return to work otherwise i will be stuffed!!

I'm sure they will be when they see how happy you are, and how could they not love the idea of a new grandchild?! X

fingers crossed hey!!
off to do some more housework!!
chat soon!!

this waiting game is very hard!! what am i going to be like when its the 2ww!!
well i've done all the sunday jobs today with my trusty ipod playing to help me, so i've cleaned, washed and tidied anything that i could find, changed sheets and towels, done tesco shop to keep myself awake this afternoon, just hoovering to do tomorrow unless i get the call of course!!
just eating dinner and about to take a soak and then catch up on some tv!!
how is everyone??

today is the day, had the call and leaving now to be implanted, talk when i get back!

Good luck Sideshow! Hopefully you are now PUPO :)

thanks!! hope the 2ww goes quickly!! what's PUPO??

PUPO = Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise - congrats :)

ahh thanks!!

Sideshow the 2ww is agonising! Try not to overthink what's going on in your body, be super kind to yourself and relax. I did some mindfulness/ meditation podcasts and visualisation techniques to keep calm and positive x

i have spoken to my brother this morning so feel alot better, had a lot more sleep which is good, pinky and perky are fine, they had a nice relaxing bath as we were awake early!!
now on way to work to let my boss know that i don't need tomorrow off and i can't lift anything heavy for at least the next 3 months, anything else i need to do??

Ahhh loving pinky and perky Sideshow! Nothing else to do now, I think that's what makes the 2ww so darn hard. For so long it's all go, go, go, do this, don't do that, then all of a sudden it's 'right, sit tight for two weeks, you've done all you can'. Bah! Glad you were able to talk to your brother, it's hard enough without having to worry about family too.

I am well and truly back on the health kick now that I am on six week countdown. I have lost 3 3/8 lb in the last four days (not as unhealthy as it sounds - I kicked the backside out of the beer and wine last week, plus had a visit from AF, so a lot of that would have been fluid retention) and got back into my 6am shred routine this morning. I've taken 'before' photos in both my bikinis, so now have a visual incentive to stick at it. Another 2 7/8lb and I'll be back at WW gold weight, but I'd like to lose an additional 5lb before Spain. 7 7/8lb in 6 weeks, I can do that!

i can never do diets, got colitis so there's enough food groups that i can't eat already!! i will never be a size 10 or 12 again, been a size 16 since i had my gallbladder out!!
my brother is the only family that knows, not very close to my mum, she always favours my brothers and just doesn't make the effort to be involved in my life!! very close to my dad, we talk all the time, but not about woman stuff!!
also spoke to my headmistress and line manager today, both were really good, as my line manager decides which child i work with in september, as i can't do any lifting it needs to be a low risk child!!

help feel so tired and so sick(not helped by one of the children throwing up yesterday) i'm very sick phobic, is it just lack of sleep and all the drugs, been waking up every 2 hours during the night since sunday night, thought it was because i was worrying about stuff, so made a list a sorted it all out yesterday, including a really difficult conversation with my line manager who i don't trust!!
how can i sleep more and stop waking up for the loo every 2 hours and the night??
all advise welcome!!

Hello again all. For those at Care Manchester, can I ask how long you waited for a match this year? It took me from July to October last year which felt like FOREVER!

sideshow I wish I could offer you good advice but I find the 2ww takes over in exactly the same way. I usually manage to get back to sleep either by reading, or going through multiplications tables in my head, and just telling myself that it's ok if I wake up again. Very well done on the difficult conversation. I still haven't told my line manager, two cycles on, because I don't trust him to keep it confidential and not make public comments to or about me. Your sick feeling might be related to how tired you are. I often find I get flu like symptoms when I'm really sleep deprived (aching neck and back, headache, feeling sick). When is OTD?

resipsa a friend of mine was at Care, I think at Manchester, and was matched with an ED in less than six months (sorry, I can't remember the exact time) but that was just over a year ago. She had odd cycles though which I think delayed things by an extra month.

Sent all the documentation over to Spain by email today, and made a (half) jokey comment about if I could be choosy about just one thing I'd love if the donors could be taller than me. Got a reply back saying she'd passed that onto the embryologist and she is sure they can make that happen! We're all on track for FET on my next cycle now, which is due to start end of July. Diet and exercise are going very well, I am actually feeling positive about this for once.

Thanks Geek. Good luck for your cycle - sounds promising and you're optimistic which is more than half the mental battle.

Hello, it is nice seeing the thread active. Hi control geek, I think I have seen you on the conception boards I think in the MANY years I've been there! Know exactly what you mean about lots of threads there no longer feeling relevant, settle in here for the next bit. It's so good that you are feeling positive. I am too for this cycle. I'm well aware of the odds but they are so so much better than any other cycle I've ever had ttc so I'm glad of that. I also feel like the clock has stopped a bit and if this doesn't work, I'm no longer scared shitless about declining egg quality, that ship has passed!

Bob, how are you bearing up? Night waking is an arse. Ivf druggage does that to me but mostly I think it is underlying anxiety/awareness that something quite major is occurring. It's great that your embryos are on board, may the wait not be too agonising.

Resp I was matched in a month. I never expected it to be that fast. But as a couple it was remarked that we are very average!! Eye colour was an exception as mine isn't that common so I said I didn't give a stuff. As it happened they found a match with my colour eyes. I think we've been lucky to be that fast. The donor is also much shorter than me but again, I really kept parameters wide open, not sure if that makes a difference but I'm imagining it might? Are you thinking you might try again?

Lauren haven't seen you here but hope all is going well. I have my cd21 scan on Friday. I don't think I'm downregged as I'm convinced I've ovulated but who knows. Bleh to buserelin.

Hi Fox.

Yes, now thinking that we might try again...

At the start of last week, the local authority confirmed that we have to wait 6 months after last IVF to begin adoption process. Fair enough. By Tuesday, I'd got my head around 4 months or so free of the worry about a second child. There was a Plan.

Then on Tuesday evening DH was diagnosed with colon cancer. He's 38. DD is 3. His chances of making her 8th birthday are 50/50 .

So, instead of thinking about adoption, I'm contemplating widow and single parent status in my 40s. Adoption is out of the question with his diagnosis, he'll need chemo so we can't try naturally as it's dangerous and anyway he might be rendered infertile.

After 2 miscarriages in 6 months and this, I am all over the place but now keener than ever to pursue all options (not least because the idea of leaving DD all alone is just too awful).

The only option is to try again with DE IVF and get DH to freeze sperm before chemo. But can we bear the potential heartache again? And would I want to bring up 2 alone?

Poor, poor DH - he's going through hell and I am still going on about babies.

Sorry for the self-absorption but I can't see beyond us at the moment.

Hope you are all doing OK on here.