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Original poster

The hut of gl/doom: ttc against the odds

999 replies

PhoenixFromTheFlames · 10/02/2012 22:51

This is a safe haven for those ttc with difficult, with ?sub-fertility or sub-fertility labels. Where like minded people offer encouragement at times and commiserations at others.
I've decided the theme is Cocktail style: Flanagans. With a pink neon sign: Cocktails and dreams. Blinkity blink.
Newbies are welcome. Come share your tales of woe

OP posts:
flixy102 · 03/08/2012 18:53

Just rang up my private healthcare provider and got £1500 in fees covered for the next year for me to see an endocrinologist at a private clinic. Result!

summerintherosegarden · 03/08/2012 22:27

Great news flixy! That could be just what you need...

Right, I need your advice/thoughts ladies. Now that I have a firm diagnosis and a sort of action plan, should I tell the ILs? My FIL found out that we went to the doctor earlier this week and DH lied and said it was for him and a routine check up but FIL was a bit worried (DH has never been sick or needed 'routine check ups' in his life) and now I'm thinking maybe we should just let them know that (a) we're TTC and (b) not quite managing it!

The way I see it, the pros are - support? No more lying; I guess at some point they're probably going to find out then wonder why we kept it secret for so long. No more questions and not so subtle hints from them about when we're going have to kids.
Negatives are - Pity - which I really don't want or feel that I need (yet!) and, the thing that's really putting me off, the fact that even though they won't ask outright I know they'll be constantly wondering about what stage of the treatment we're at, whether it's having any effect, etc etc (and will probably ask in surreptitious ways)

How did you all break it to ILs? Was it a good/terrible idea? For a bit more background - we see them pretty regularly, and I have a good relationship with them but not a close one. DH says it's entirely up to me, and I imagine if the problem was with him he would have told them already.

pinkapples · 03/08/2012 22:56

Good evening ladies

Summer I can't really comment as I told my dh the first day we met that I would always have problems due to the pcos (the idea was to give him a get out Claus and if he chose to stay he couldn't say he was never warned) so his mum and dad knew from the off 6 yrs later and still no grandchildren I think they do struggle some days but it is worth the support and the little messages when your feeling down which is nice Smile

Good luck whatever you decide I'm sure it'll be fine if you do tell them and equally it's your choice if you choose not too Grin

summerintherosegarden · 04/08/2012 16:25

Thanks pink. That's amazing, you knew the first day you met him that you were going to marry him? That's a story I want to hear...

They're coming for dinner tomorrow so I've got about 24 hours to make up my mind :)

pinkapples · 04/08/2012 20:09

It's definitely worth it for the support a least but it is entirely your decision.

I met him at the pub where I used to work when he came in with his friends and one of our mutual friends. he asked our mutual friend to give him my number and we me up the following day in my 3 hour shift break. I wouldn't say I knew id marry him front start he smoked nearly a whole pack of cigarettes (repulsive) but the next few hours he was really supportive of the pcos and said he'd give up smoking for me (6yrs on he was smoke free from the 2nd day and has only had 1 blip when we had our miscarriage this year)

Devilforasideboard · 05/08/2012 16:42

I won't be telling the inlaws unless DH decides he wants to. I'm probably not telling my parents either although I may tell my mother depending how I cope with the treatement. I just don't want the pressure of, as you say, them wondering how the treatment is going all the time. Even if they didn't mention it I know it would be in the background all the time. I'm also a bit iffy about them telling other people. I wouldn't mind with my parents as they're fairly sensible but I know PIL would tell everyone they know plus FIL would be full of 'helpful' advice.

If it works we'll tell them it was through IVF and if it doesn't work we'll tell them so they can stop dropping hints about grandchildren. However we have told a few of our friends who have been utterly, utterly brilliant so I feel I'm getting loads of support without pressure.

summerintherosegarden · 06/08/2012 22:38

Pink, that's impressive about the smoking.

Devil, I think that's where I am now...I'm going to wait until I actually start treatment before telling them; if it works, I'll let them know that I needed drugs and if it doesn't work, well, at some point I guess that will come out too.

Feeling a bit despondent after reading this: joannagoddard.blogspot.co.uk/2012/08/how-many-kids-do-you-hope-to-have.html

There is a woman in the comments who said her and her husband picked the due date they wanted and conceived accordingly. Just imagine it being that easy...

delilahbelle · 07/08/2012 12:30

Hi all
I've been lurking a lot and trying to forget infertility stuff. I've now got to have a course of Humira due to raised cytokines, so the earliest I will be starting to cycle is the end of September - and maybe longer if I need a second course. Longer to save up the money needed to pay for treatment at least...

As for PIL - they know we can't have children, there's never been any discussion beyond that. My parents think we don't want them, and don't give me any hassle over it. I don't really do discussing fertility stuff in real life, a bit too stressful.

pinkapples · 07/08/2012 17:13

Nice to see you back Delilah

I'm keeping on the spraying tablet taking game no more jury service to me woohoo! Got a call and they said they had twice the number of jurors as the needed to they could offer me a new date of 10th sept (right in the middle of scans and injections for cycle 2) so no, or an excusal woohoo! Yes please :-)

flixy102 · 07/08/2012 21:51

Evening everyone, hope alls well in the hut.

I got an appointment with a private endocrinologist at the start of September. Not really sure what my expectations are, obviously he can't wave a magic wand and make it all better but maybe we can get a quicker resolution.

pinkapples · 09/08/2012 16:31

Hey everyone phew... Knackered today :-) been to the beach today with children from nursery so fun but major tired

Good day though Grin everyone ok?

flixy102 · 09/08/2012 20:24

That sounds like a fun but exhausting day pink make sure you have a nice relaxing evening to recover! (just like I'm doing!)

pinkapples · 12/08/2012 07:23

Hope everyone is enjoying the sunshine and having a lovely weekend before back to work tomorrow

flixy102 · 13/08/2012 18:44

My DH is home tomorrow after 5 weeks of working away! So I have a few days off this week, really looking forward to it!

pinkapples · 16/08/2012 21:58

Oh no for the first time
In a long time
I lost the thread from
My discussions

Hope everyone's alright? AF is here for me 2 days in the no caffeine is going well lost 6lbs last week weigh in again on Monday x

delilahbelle · 17/08/2012 07:50

Hi All

I'm good - first injection of Humira on Monday, another a forthnight after that, then a blood test 3 weeks after that. Hopefully I'll then get the go ahead to start cycling.

Miserable rainy day here, I plan to snuggle with the cats and DH when he gets home and maybe drink a hot chocolate.

HaveALittleFaith · 17/08/2012 10:03

Hello everyone! Sorry I've not been around much. I decided to take a step back. Sounds like life is busy for lots of you.

I wanted to let you know - I'm pregnant! I can hardly believe it but it has happened. Got the first bfp Wednesday. Love to all.

summerintherosegarden · 17/08/2012 10:15

Faith, what wonderful exciting news! Fingers tightly crossed for a healthy pregnancy and baby!

Delilah, I am doing exactly the same thing as you today. Two purring furrballs trying to climb all over the computer as I type.

Pink, well done for the weight loss. I'm glad you're coping without your tea :)

My next gynaecologist appointment is coming up in September, hopefully then I'll get my mitts on some clomid. One thing I wasn't sure about though - the nurse explained that clomid helps the body produce FSH so that eggs are released from follicles; would that then help the womb lining to grow? Because mine was really, really thin on the US, so I don't think even if I did ov and even if the egg was fertilised it would be able to implant...

flixy102 · 17/08/2012 10:59

Aaahhhhh faith I'm so thrilled for you!!!!!!

It's so nice when we get a BFP in the hut!

HaveALittleFaith · 17/08/2012 11:30

Thanks ladies! flixy hopefully it's encouraging to know DH's treatment has worked for us? How are you now?

Good luck for the gynae appointment summer.

flixy102 · 17/08/2012 12:03

It really has faith, the treatment works!

Well I've been on the tablets for 3 months and still no AF but going private next month so will maybe get some answers then.

pinkapples · 17/08/2012 21:49

Aww congratulations fingers crossed this works out for you GrinGrin bet your so so happy!

HaveALittleFaith · 18/08/2012 07:18

In my head, I'm gobsmacked! I can't believe it's finally happened (it's been 2 years 8 months) - things have been so tough we were going to stop TTC for a while til we felt better. But physically I know my body is telling me I am. It's weird, I had times when I believed I was pregnant before but this time I couldn't shake the notion that I just might be...I would say Internet cheapies aren't great, the were very faint and fuzzy but they did the basic job and stimulated me to buy other tests. First response are great, really clear and came up fast. Convinced clearblue digital today so I'm starting to trust in the idea!

How are you all? What's the news?

pinkapples · 18/08/2012 07:49

Aww faith that's such good news Grin

I'm alright still sniffing moodier than ever appointment for day 0 scan on the 4th so hopefully this one works

HaveALittleFaith · 18/08/2012 07:59

What a long journey you've had pink. I really hope this is the one for you! I'll keep lurking to see how things go.