The hut of gl/doom: ttc against the odds

[PhoenixFromTheFlames]

This is a safe haven for those ttc with difficult, with ?sub-fertility or sub-fertility labels. Where like minded people offer encouragement at times and commiserations at others.
I've decided the theme is Cocktail style: Flanagans. With a pink neon sign: Cocktails and dreams. Blinkity blink.
Newbies are welcome. Come share your tales of woe

Hurrah! That's so good to hear queen! Wishing you all the best for smooth sailing ahead!

Oh queen that is so wonderful.

Welcome better (or should we call you camel?!) I'm in the same-ish place having had bloods and SA done (well, DH was meant to go for SA today - I hope he actually made it to the hospital and produced the necessaries) but I've no idea when my consultant appointment will be.

I'm sorry you're having such a rubbish day today. Getting that kind of announcement is bound to be really tough. I hope you can take some time to yourself to relax - hot bath, choc, wine, whatever helps you - and just remember the mantra "this too shall pass."

Where do you think the tension with your DH is resulting from? The approach we've taken is to basically assume that nothing will happen until I get drugged up, and it's taken the pressure off quite a lot - I wonder whether that could help at all for you?

Thank you summer!
He's quit smoking about 2 months ago and he hasn't been the nicest person through it. He has a bit of a temper and I think he's been distant to try and keep it together while he deals with the quitting piece. I am hyper-emotional and very sensitive to everything so I'm internalising everything I expect. Sometimes I think maybe it's a sign that we're not strong enough together to deserve children :(

Oh...I imagine quitting smoking is pretty stressful...and it's probably a good thing that he remains a little distant rather than losing his temper, right? You mustn't think along the deserving children lines. So many people that really do NOT deserve children still have them, fertility or not is just the luck of the draw.

I'm pretty sure I had EWCM last night for the first time in...oh...7 years? I don't want to get excited but just maybe it means I'm having a cycle! Maybe. Maybe. Must continue to err on the side of doubt so as not to feel disappointed :)

Ooh, good luck with the EWCM. A friend was just saying how all her life she's been quite happy not to have any gross panty snot, and now just rues the fresh, clean sight of them!

Having little (ovulation??) pains on the lower right side, but OPK says not happening. DH is stomping about these days trying to suppress rage, so have a feeling there's not going to be any BDing tonight, so just as well!

And you're right about my end, I know. Just get lost in my own head sometimes, and there are some miserable corners in there!

How's everyone else doing?

Yay Queen! Congratulations
I still lurk and read from time to time to see how everyone is getting on, but have I missed anything?

Feeling rough as anything today the whole workforce is off nearly so I'm still here!!

Feel my belly expanding from the injections I just hope my scan on Friday tells me it was all worth it and the eggs are big enough

Been sick 3 times in the last hour and I'm working till 6 so the rest of the day is not looking good!

Ugh pink you poor thing. Hope the office (?) is quiet and nobody's hassling you. Does eating crackers help? (That's the only thing I can keep down with upset tum...but it's probably very different) FC for Friday.

I just spent the morning with a bunch of 5 year olds - is it weird that older kids make me broodier than babies?

No it's not an office unfortunately it's a bustling day nursery have been being sick literally every hour at least 3 times grrrr

Home now on sofa all chilled

Has anyone else been sick during ivf?

Oh, ouch! I hope you're feeling a lot better today. Only 2 days til the weekend..

Yea only 2 days! I've got my appointment tomorrow I just hope that the eggs have grown like they should I've got a leavers trip next Thursday and graduation on the 10th of July I don't want to miss any of it

Another lurker just wanted to say glad things are going well queen, and good luck to you all. And another whole hearted thanks for your support in my time here. I hope you all get what you want soon, good luck for the IVF pink!

Well there's something going on with my body, not sure what though. After the EWCM the other day I had a little bit of spotting yesterday. I thought I might wake up to AF today, but no, back to those damn fresh clean pants

pink, I hope it all goes well at the appointment today and the eggs are looking big and healthy!

Ohhhh summer what you thinking it might be?

I hope so too about the eggs as I can't take much more of this sickness anyone got any ideas what they should be expecting to find on a day 10 scan?

Maybe my body trying to have a period but it's forgotten how?! I don't know.. it's weird, before I went on the pill, my body seemed so normal! Regular, light, painless periods. Now, it's anyone's guess what's going on in there.

How did today go pink? Afraid I've got no idea what you should expect at day 10 scan but surely the person doing the scan told you whether the signs were good?

Well we're all on target here 9 follies on the right 5 on the left all between 9mm and 13mm so a little more growing to do but she said that it was good that 5 of the 9 on the same side were the same size (13mm) another scan on Monday to check growth and then hopefully egg collection on Wednesday or thursday and GUTTED that I will miss the leavers trip on Thursday but finger crossed its worth it. She said the 14 follies was a good number it just depends on how the individual bodies react but that that was good for me so happy here

Sickness has subsided but nurse said it was normal as there are so many eggs

Sat now having a brew and a biscuit with hubby and the dogs

Hurrah, excellent news. Makes the sickness all worth it! Have a super weekend all.

Morning all,
Congratulations pink, that's great news! And glad the sickness has subsided. I don't know what it is about being sick I just hate it, pain I can cope with but being sick is just horrid! But fab news on all those follicles, that must be a good number for them to collect?

How long have you been off the pill summer? I suppose your body could be finally remembering where it's at if you had EWCM? I have read that some people don't get it at all and sometimes some just get very little. I don't tend to get days worth, I think I just get a massive wadge all in one go which I think must be my surge? Had it yesterday which is when I thought I might ov. We did the deed on Wednesday but I had bad news yesterday so didn't feel up to it after that. We've dtd this morning though so am hoping that between Wednesday's attempt and this morning we'll get some up there.

News flash... I feel the size of a house I'm at the stage now where I feel so bloated all the time my stomach feels huge! Appetite has taken a huge hit as I already feel full from my what seems like bulging follicles! Grrrr uncomfortable is not the word!

Hey everyone, you sound like you got some good follies Pink

I have been doing Clomid over the last 5 days, feel achey in the ovaries and SO depressed and angry over weird things. I have one frozen embie so the doctor is trying to kickstart my system to be able to put it in - I've been trying that since January (my 3rd m/c was last August so I couldn't bring myself to do anything before then) - I'm trying to avoid the HRT cycle so hopefully this is enough ... I'm worried about my health long-term.

I have had such bad luck with it this year, always seem to be waiting for AF to start or come at all - and then I randomly got a 5 week bleed which was an 'almost AF' - so that ruined everything again and ate like a horse throughout it so gained all weight back I lost - arrgghhh.

Everyone in my 'generation' in my family has kids (including cousins), and my mum even said the other day 'we are all going to a cafe for my birthday, but I will do something separate with you as we will just be talking about babies' - even though I definitely don't want to talk about babies constantly (the only conversation in my family right now, literally), it just makes me feel more isolated from my family, like I'm a nuisance or an embarrassment.

I went to a family thing where my uncle was there as well, and every time the conversation would finally get onto another topic he would say "well !!! the family is expanding!" and off it would go again. And then my SIL put her scan on the tv and I was trapped. It was the longest 4 hours ever, I didn't say anything as what could I say? I can't relate. I hate this. I just want ONE, ONE little healthy baby. I'm not young any more but I have been trying for SO long and it has taken my life. I am not the same person I used to be at all. I don't dress up any more, don't cut my hair, don't put on makeup, I feel like what's the point of anything. I have lost all my friends locally except one (thank goodness for her) as everyone else has kids so hangs out with others with kids and feels bad for me and doesn't know what to say (can't blame them for it though, I'm probably not the most exciting person to be around these days and I have no other interests any more as my life revolves around medication and doctors appointments).

I'm just the biggest landmine with it all, my poor dad was carrying my nephew the other day and he had just done a No.2 and dad said "oh god, you have no idea" (wrinkling his nose) and I just blew up :( "No, no I wouldn't, and I'd give anything for it" - cue storming off - oh such a teenager moment haha - but he didn't deserve that and I just feel like I have become such a horrible person. Sorry for the rant guys, I really have no one else to talk to about it, no one gets it.

raspberry I've been off the pill for 10 months now, so I suppose not a massive amount of time. Pre pill I used to get quite a bit of CM - not really checking to see what types in those days, but nowadays I don't get anything except sometimes after exercise. I really hope it's my body trying to return to normal, but haven't had anything since the other day so perhaps not. Ah well.
Fingers crossed for this cycle for you, and I hope your bad news wasn't too horribly bad.

chokey...please don't apologise for ranting, you have not become a horrible person, you're understandably stressed out and the clomid won't be helping. I am very sure you are neither a nuisance nor an embarrassment - I think when your Mum wanted to do something separate with you on her birthday it was probably to try to protect you from those kind of awful, and as you say isolating, situations like your SIL's scan video.

Do you have positive things in life to look forward to and be excited about outside of TTC? It sounds really stupid, and perhaps wouldn't help at all, but maybe going somewhere new with your DH would help you feel like you want to dress up again and things. Do the two of you have a holiday booked this summer? I know these are all very minor and temporary fixes.

I suppose the other thing is, have the two of you talked about adoption/surrogacy at all? How many more cycles of IVF are you willing to go through? Perhaps you feel very opposed to the idea which I would completely understand, but it might be helpful in some way to sort of a have a Plan B and timeline in your mind? Sorry, I hope this isn't coming across as thoughtless and belittling...it's sort of hard to get the right tone across on the old internet.

I hope you're having a good Sunday away from baby chat (well, except on here I spose)

Hi all

I've not been posting much (although have been lurking) as it seems like it's all new faces here. Still, I really ought to be a bit more social..

chokey I think anyone in the hut knows how you feel. God knows I am a bitter caricature of the young hopeful person who started TTC all those years ago. Sod anyone who doesn't understand - and if friends/family can't be sympathetic they are not worth it (read a few posts back for an ex-friends of mine comments) and should be cut from your life.

pink I hope the last few days of stimming and EC go smoothly - I've got my fingers crossed for a bumper crop for you.

summer I hope you had a relaxing weekend and your body is starting to get it's cycles in order. You can guarantee AF will never arrive on time when you want her to - and will turn up early the rest of the time.

at raspberry and everyone else.

I've spent the morning in ARGC, I had my mid cycle scan - ovulation is about to happen with a big follicle visible on the left - sadly the side with no tube so no chance of a natural conception this month. I also had what felt like hundreds of tubes of blood taken for various tests, I'm not entirely sure what. I've now got to wait and test for my LH surge, and when that has happened book another blood test for Progesterone to check ovulation has occurred. And this is all still the monitoring cycle - I don't know if I will be allowed to cycle with them due to my rubbish FSH levels last month. Maybe this months will be better.

summer I'm in the same boat as you, been off the pill for a year now and no AF. I think I've had EWCM and I also had very light spotting a few times but nothing ever happens!! It's so frustrating isn't it?!

Well another good appointment for me. Follies are nice and big now between 16mm and 21mm so just done my trigger shot and last nasal spray ready for EC on Wednesday... Very worried now the follicle growing is done have to hope there's eggs in them and after that worry we have to hope they fertilise and then implant it's all very at the mo just taking it a step at a time but about 1/4 the way there with the follicles so fingers crossed!

Hello everyone! Hope your having a lovely evening I'm trying to cut my caffeine so I'll offer out the s

Been staring at an OPK stick for a while now, there's definitely a faint second line there which I know doesn't mean it's positive but I've never even had a line there before so it's progress!