Hut of Gl/Doom, lost count of the number coz its been so long - optimists need not apply!

[OracleInaCoracle]

Couldn't find the hut but in dire need of a hideout away from all those "its been 2 months" and "am I pregnant" threads.

For those of us who've been burnt by ttc, can't get pregnant, can't stay pregnant or are sick of hearing the "just relax" refrain.

Leave your hope at the door and grab a gin, we are back in the speakeasy with meths on tap!

No idea phoenix I've been injecting since 16/01 so have a scan to check follies tomorrow well see what they say but knowing me it will w more injections then a shot next week probably x

And AF. Has arrived a few days early humph

Follies not big enough another 2 days of injections then re scan on Thursday

hello ladies.

I finally got a letter from the hospital and have had an exchange with my Cons secretary. The plan for now is to stay under his care. They want to see if I conceive in the next three months. Then I will be put back on the waiting list, but after checking how long I will then have to wait for the lap I was told I would be fast-tracked and could expect to get a date within 3 weeks from when I go back on. She said that when I phone her she will have a list of dates then to discuss with me.
I have my HCG levels too, so off to post in Conception in case anyone can shed some light on them for me.

How do you feel about that qr? Still want to push for a different consultant?
Thinking growy thoughts pink!
Commiserations carrie, always sucky when the witch arrives especially when you've been symptom spotting.
Cd6 here, trying to put in a good effort here this cyle!

phoenix DH and I have talked it through, and we're going to stay at local hospital for now and see what happens. If i get another biochemical pregnancy in the next three months then presumably they'll want to start looking into the reasons for that.
Hopefully I'll get pregnant and it will stick [hopeful emoticon]
The email I got from the secretary today gave the impression that all my pushing has paid off. very apologetic about the delay in the letter arriving and very keen to make sure that I didn't have unanswered questions. She gave me lots of additional information without me having to specifically ask for it, so maybe they've realised I'm not going to go away quietly when he pats me on the head (metaphorically speaking).

I did look through my notes and realised that I'm not ovulating on a left/right pattern as last month should have been the left side and that's blocked. So maybe my body is compensating somehow? I don't know! It's all a bloody mystery to me.

I had become lax about taking the vitamin pills - you know after two years you start to wonder why you're bothering! Having researched a bit I think I may be Zinc deficient and probably lacking the B vits too. I know that can have an impact on fertility, so I'm back on the supplements properly.
I'm alcohol free this month, and I think I'm going to allow myself the odd tipple next month (i'm not really a drinker, more a tot of whisky kind of girl) but cut my caffeine down to one morning cuppa and try a detox tea to replace the rest during the day.

My anxiety level ramped right up after the m/c and I think it will do me good to just wait out the three months and relax about it all a bit.

How are you? How are the house repairs coming along?

Good luck for Thursday pink

That sounds all positive queenrollo and glad they are giving answers.
I've had an ectopic previously and had a consultant that explained my fertility would be less with one tube but not half as some people think. Apparently your tubes are not set in place and can move and the fingery bits will encourage an egg from either way. This is what I was told anyway. He said
I had my DD after this. Hope that explains a little.
Ended up having an argument with my partner today, he doesn't do talking about it and doesn't understand all the biology stuff where as I need details.

Oh and thinking positive thoughts for Thursdays scan pinkapples :)

carrie I'm a details girl too!!

Poor DH is suddenly learning all about it. He was upset when I found out about my blocked tube, and it was some time after that it came up in conversation that he thought it meant I couldn't get pregnant without the surgery. he had no idea that one tube being blocked didn't affect my fertility. Likewise I told him about the right tube picking up eggs from the left ovary and he had no idea that could happen, though to be fair until fairly recently neither did I!

Sorry you had an argument though. It's so difficult, it's something that as partners we're in together but it's so difficult if you can't talk openly about it.
I really lost my temper with DH when having the m/c and was trying to explain to him that my hormones were really out of whack and so it was physiological as well as an emotional response. he's a very emotional person and gets upset when I am, when sometimes I need him to be strong. I'm much better I think at putting on the brave face when i'm needed and then crumbling in private afterwards - but sometimes even I run out of steam for that and need to be allowed to fall to pieces, and for him to pick them up and put me back together.

I tell you what, if a relationship can survive the rollercoaster that is sub/infertility it can probably survive just about anything!

I was married before for a long time and we got through it and had my DD but tbh the fact I wanted more and he couldn't cope with the rollacoaster again was the beginning of the end.
Think I'm taking a lot of baggage from that and seeing his lack of interest in details as him not being that fussed.
I agree you need to talk and sometimes you need to shout and cry and have a hissy fit and they can too, it just helps when you take it in turns lol.

Morning ladies!

Just fancy a wee rant cos people have the ability to make you feel like shit before 9 in the morning!

Girl in work came to show me a 12 week scan picture this morning of her daughters baby. I ooh'd and aah'd over it as usual bit then she made the comment 'you know she got married the week before you'.

Yes, thanks for that. So she's normal and I'm not. Announce it to the whole office and put me under more pressure why don't you. Aaahhhhhh. Sorry if this post is a bit rambly - it was just a throwaway comment but it really hurt and now I'm almost crying at my desk .

As if all this isn't fucking hard enough.

Ahhh flixy I feel like that 2 especially in a nursery where our pregnant parents already have like a million children

Don't worry about ranting here have a cuppa and a biscuit hehe

Thanks pink I was being good and munching carrots but I've just bought myself a bar of dairy milk! it always helps.

Some people are just totally insensitive. Clearly they've never been through it if they make comments like that. Have a

Good news my end completely infertility unrelated (for a change) but I decided a while ago some of you may remember to stop putting my life on hold for the whole have a baby and then... Scenario well... I applied to do my masters degree in education and found out today that I got in it's part time so I can still work and ttc and not be too stressed! Woohoo but no matter how glad I am to be moving my life on and progressing academically it just seems like its yet another thing that I have wanted and got... Now why can't I have the thing I want most hey ho we can't have everything I suppose

I'm sure this negativity will pass and well be back on track tomorrow for my follicle rescan we'll see!

That's brilliant new pink! These things have a way of working themselves out time side wise. Clever you! What kind of teaching?

It's not teaching as such the ma is a higher level degree which is supposed to give you more insight on things and then I can go on to do a phd

Quick update follies have gone from an 8 to a 10mm so
More injections

When will you get scanned again Pinkapples.
I have decided that I need to have a big clear out and think about the future and stop waiting for it to happen. I feel like I am in limbo, too scared to move on career wise due to maternity rights.
I have also come to the conclusion that ttc is really starting to get to me and I can no longer just relax. I had to walk away from a pregnant colleague today while she rubbed her belly at me as we have started trying at same time

They said rescan Monday but I realised when I got home I don't have enough drugs so will have to pick some up tomorrow probably I'll phone them tho and see tomorrow... Awww I felt like that hence the applying for a masters... I can't stand it having to look at and talk to pregnant people I honestly think I shouldn't feel this way it's not their fault in broken but when they just parade it about like its a god given right... Well, what do they expect

Yes I went for a secondment 9 months after starting ttc, talked about putting it on hold being pregnant would have been 'inconvenient' but decided to.carry on regardless. Ironically I am seconded for another year til this September and still wouldn't.be expecting til after that now! It's meant we could push for investigations sooner.
I sympathise Carrie I'm now at a point where one friend who started ttc the same time as us has celebrated her son's first birthday!
pink I'm thinking growy thoughts again! It's positive that they are going, yes? Better than last cycle? The MA sounds interesting...my nursing qualification is like 3/4 of the way the an MSc but I'd have to self fund to complete it not sure I'd have the time, energy or finance! What's your academic background/area of interest?

I wouldn't care but she knows what I am going through. At the beginning she had a bit of bleeding and kept running to me saying how people don't understand what its like when you are ttc. How quickly she forgot lol I know its not her fault but I had already spent time making all the right noises on the morning and I can't spend all my time discussing it. I am getting bitter I think. Maybe its having to put up with everyone elses personal issues but for some reason ttc isn't a big deal and it 'will al be fine' lol oh dear think I should put some hols in.
Looks like everyone here is career motivated this week. Think I will look on the jobs sight at work see what's out there

Well I am assistant manager at a day nursery I have a BA (Hons) in educations studies specialising in early childhood and I then did the early years professional status - a slight glutton for punishment I feel as I can't have children hehe... I'm currently doing a module in teaching and coaching which has credits towards the ma

Yea they are growing slowly but surely

morning ladies,

just looking in to say hi, and hope you're all doing ok.

afternoon ladies.

Well done pinkapples that's fab news! I know what you mean about not putting your life on hold. I did that for the first year and regret it so this time around I'm not. There's nothing for me that can't really be undone if I do ever get pg

flixy people really can make some knobish remarks can't they. I was kind of hoping I might be spared with my work for a while. A few of us got married last year from May onwards. One is me :) one is now pregnant and one is currently getting divorced after he walked out on her just before Christmas so people are too busy gossiping about that to spend much time staring at my gut wondering if the reason I'm pigging out on biscuits is because I'm expecting. Most people know by now I'm actually just a pig An old work colleague of mine emailed back in August and told me she was expecting. I literally got up from my desk, shut the door, went back to my desk and sobbed for about 10 minutes, then moved into the loo and carried on sobbing. Then went home with a migraine and cried some more so you are not alone

carrie people do seem to forget or not realise once it happens don't they. I'm always conscious that I feel I'm starting to get bitter these days. Someone made a bellend comment to me the other day and I nearly, nearly, turned around and said 'well, not much chance here actually - make of that what you will and FUCK OFF back to cuckoo land'. But instead I just smiled politely and walked off

I've also got a friend whose just had their little girls first birthday and she started trying after me phoenix it does sting doesn't it. I've also been requested for lunch next week for a 'catch up' and I suspect she is going to tell me she's pregnant again. I actually dread meeting up with people these days because the last two or three times it's been to share their happy news. I just don't feel anymore that I'm ever going to have any news to share :(

queen I've got a bit lax about the tablets too, your comment just reminded me I haven't taken them in ages! Must start again tomorrow

AF arrived this morning, damn thing :(